I once lived with a guy that was born without an asshole. Here's the story:

Two friends and I decided to get an apartment together in college. We decided pretty late, after everyone else already had things set up for the following year. We were forced to search for someone else on craigslist. My one friend said he'd take care of it, so that was cool. He calls me up a month or so later saying he found someone, met the guy and he was normal. Sweet.

Move in day comes, and as soon as I get to the place and open the door a 5'2 kid who weighs about 100 pounds came out of his room in nothing but boxers, holding a trashcan. "Hi I'm Tim," he says. "Sorry about the trashcan. I had 7 beers last night."

Oh shit. Shit shit shit.

I proceed to move my stuff in. After everything is just about set up, I hop on the computer for a bit to relax. I then feel a presence behind me; Tim is standing at my door watching me. We start talking, then he continues to talk for seriously about a half hour. I tried not to be rude, but after a while he wouldn't shut up so I turned around and got back to what I was doing. This didn't stop him from talking my ear off.

Anyway, right before he leaves my room he says, "I just want to make sure my birth defect won't interfere with our living arrangements." Me (in my head screaming "wtf is he talking about?!): "Nah dude, I'm sure it's cool." Tim: "Ok, cause I was born without an anus."

What? Why the hell would you tell me this?! I just met you!

The next year felt like an episode of Seinfeld. The kicker is he likes to be called TimButt.