• The first few lines are high and in the top of your chest, you're working some sort of canned routine to break through the fact that you're uncomfortable--and it's apparent in your voice, you drop:

"Yo can you hear me? can you hear me?"

• And this sort of banter continues for multiple lines. You're probably so self aware of the fact that you're recording something that it's hard to be yourself, it's like--how people have the tendency to act any time they're on camera.

"You look stunning."

• Feels good and seems to be delivered with some sincerity. But then another tangent of detachment starts,

"Who are you?"

• Something I think that gets saved for strangers. The follow up: "Do you have a name?" rubs me the wrong way, it's like--of course she has a name, it's unnatural, out of place, and some form of posturing. Is it condescension? Not outright, but it certainly isn't in the clear.

• As an aside I think it's kind of wild you censored your name, but not hers.

"You don't do handshakes?"

• More of this detached leading in the negative. I think interacting with someone by telling them what they "don't do" has some subtext. It's, alienating? It allows one to go hands off from the interaction by assuming a result, and then gaining a bonus from confirmations when the recipient has to validate themselves to you. With, "I do handshakes" or shaking your hand.

• And this sort of behavioral tick comes out when you:

"You're not from New York, are you?"

• When she engages you about where you're from, you kind of play it safe by turning it into some game. Like I'm from here! No there! Yes... there! No there! Which I think is a hands off way of forcing her to be overly involved in the interaction, because that's safer, if she's contributing more to the box. You risk less, but you connect less.

• Her high top of the chest laugh that follows this, to me--is a massive indication of discomfort. The fact that you don't pick up on it, and keep pushing the buttons and pulling the levers sounds like this whole approach game thing is just that for you, something to be played.

"Is it that confusing? Is it that hard?"

• Now you're completely posturing on her, it's like saying I know something you don't know, and if you can't figure it out you're confused. And if it's hard for you.. you're...

"High five, you're good."

• Those are the words that came out of the mouth, but the tone is brutal. It's like HA... YEAH... GOOD ONE.... LOL... -_-

"So what's your story? Why are you in New York?"

• A total relief, and the tone is the proof of that--you're coming from the heart, this seems like something you're genuinely interested in knowing. You're probably struggling to connect with people, the facade that's getting thrown up hinders us from getting emotionally close. Emotional closeness is something we all need.

• But it's risky, and "Oh ya?" and you're already high and in the top of the chest again. The game resumes.

• You ask her if she knows if anyone goes to Kaplan, and she begins to answer--but you don't even wait for her to finish her sentence before you shush her with, okay--and start asking her some other question. I think that might mean you don't really want the answers to most the questions, you just want to speak and keep her speaking and ride this interaction out as long as you can, to whatever end.

• Forcing the qualitative comparison of two cities in this interaction is wild. I mean, how do you expect her to answer that? With some negative, like... YES "IT'S" WILDLY BETTER THAN THE PLACE THAT I AM FROM.. or... NO NEW YORK SUCKS. I just don't see any good answer here, and... you probably don't either, I mean, it's just small talk--what sucks is that it's the kind of small talk that forces her to jump through hoops or just stop talking to you. That's a rough situation to be in, have you ever been asked to donate to some organization on the street? Saying no is brutal, sometimes we just like shuffle away and try to act like it's not happening. Girls tend to do that to guys that hassle them a lot. Just... shuffle away.

"Yeah it's exciting? Interesting."

• A weird way of acting like you don't believe someone, even if you do believe her the presentation of this excerpt was like what a cop says to kids getting pulled over that claim to be driving home late and not heading to a house party instead. WHERE YOU BOYS HEADED? HOME? YEAH? INTERESTING.

"What's the most exciting thing you've done in New York?"

• Something sounds pained. And she picks up on it, and asks some question I can't make out, "Are you lik as;dlkfja;slkdjf or something?" And then you try to convince yourself and her that you're actually interested, but it sounds so disingenuous that...

• She laughs uncomfortably.

• And you reassert that,

"No.. I'm interesting in who you are?"

• And the tone jumps up like an interrogative.

• Then you start this thing about her age, at first it's playful. Then you start driving some weird sort of stake... like you look 17, but you're asian so I know you're not. now i've given you a backhanded compliment bwhahahaha!... but it's just kind of... dark, and sad. you know, give value. or don't give it. but don't give it and take it and turn the whole thing into some emotional roller coaster just because that's what mystery says works.

• And this game about your age is just as uncomfortable, 12? 84? This tangent about the older you get and the younger you look--and then.. you never tell her you're age, even though she's giggling uncomfortably and literally asking you to, "come on."

• and then you... start asking her if she lives in Manhattan.

• Immediately and without transition to what she's doing now. She starts to answer you and you--

• Cut her sentence off about what she's doing right now. And push this, "We're going on a date thing." Which.. is a strange way of forcing someone to say no, you know--give her choice. Would you like to do this sometime? Is infinitely stronger than "We should," "Let's," "We are," etc.

• Anyways she starts to mull over this thing until you cut her short and start chastizing her about her marital status. And do this wildly uncomfortable thing where you're like 5 kids? 7?

• And..

"NONE?! DISAPPOINTING."

• Is where it's getting hard for me to listen. You're asking her questions, you're leading her answers, and then when she tells you the truth, you confirm suspicion and then tell her the truth is... disappointing?

• But then you rewire that to--NO IT'S GOOD... (but you just said it was disappointing.) And then lead to this:

"No it's good don't have kids. I don't like kids?"

• I don't even know what to say to this. Not liking kids, or claiming to. Makes me really sad.

• And then you get back to alienating yourself from the reality of the situation, and constructing this fantasy about what this follow up date is going to be like.

• And she says no, and you won't let her.

"You're full of shit."

And then...

"Are you always full of shit?"

• In this context this feels like verbal abuse with a smile.

• And then you do this emotional rollercoaster thing again where you're like, no but seriously I really like you and I want to know who you are. Which is kind of like what abusive boyfriends do with I LOVE YOU/I HATE YOU stuff.

"That's MEAN."

• And back to constructing these fantasy logistics. "So we're going to go on a date on..."

• And now you're pressuring her to say yes to the date, "I'm looking you in the eye." Which is some sort of intimidation thing we do unconsciously, but noting it makes it something else. And I really know it's part of the posture when you utter:

"Okay but now I'm going to let you go..."

• As if... it's your choice whether or not she leaves? Like.. it presupposed you've got "ahold of her?" or something.

---

some other things:

"You don't seem like you're someone that fools around with peoples feelings?"

• Which seems to be a projection of what you're doing.

"You are like that? So you're going to make me go home and cry?"

• Here's that darkness I think I feel.

"I'm not going to do that... but I am going to see you..."

• And then you start modulating the logistics again, as if it's going to make the thing more solid if you continue to manipulate those variables.

"yeah?! are you going to be there?! deal right?!?!"

• Is some sort of wildly pushy salesman type confirmations that are extremely dehumanizing, and nearly aggressive. If a man did this to me, I would feel threatened.

"Okay I know you're not lying..."

• And you tell her why you know she's not lying, it sucks to feel interrogated. But you're forcing that on her, like, I'm watching your every move, liar.

---

• "What's your mission in life?" This has reached the realm of out of control monopolization of this girls time, especially after she's confirmed the logistics you've mauled into the interaction.

• She verbally confirms that she feels threatened. She tells you she will, "talk to you later."

• You utter something that sounds like, "you're so stupid gir..."

• She seems to walk off. You seem to give chase. And shit gets sexual harassmentesque. You start to push the logistics, again. And... now shits in the realm of if I were witnessing this on the street, I'd feel extremely uncomfortable--

• "are you taping me?!"

• And then you make some sick joke about having a serious illness... and the tape cuts, and I feel like I just listened to the makings of a rape in progress.

• This shit's fucked up. I don't like it. This all may be coming off as aggressive and out of left field. But this kind of shit makes me sick to my stomach, can't you feel how she feels? I'll write more on this later, I'm hoping some of the other guys will chime in.

• Let's talk on Skype sometime soon? I'm available to you whenever. Add me, same name on skype.