UPDATE TO: A random girl has contacted me saying that my boyfriend of two+ years raped her. What should I do about this?

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

Yes. We had a previous agreement about hooking up at parties - it was okay, as long as we were upfront about it afterward. That is why this was an issue.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

I'm in law school.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

Yes.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

We live in Massachusetts.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

We are both 23.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

Like I've said elsewhere, the issue is deception, not sex.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

Yes. Sex is not really the issue. Deception is the issue.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

It's a throwaway, so karma is useless.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

I've never cheated on anyone.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

I may go on the occasional date because it's fun to meet and get to know new people.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

I love Dan Savage. Let me just say that if he had asked first, I probably would have been okay with it. The issue here is not really sex, it is deception.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

If he had asked first, I would have let him. That's what makes this bad.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

At this point, I don't think it really matters. He may or may not have cheated on me before. The relationship is over, either way.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

I was relieved that no actual rape took place.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

I was at a bachelorette party. Sometimes, I think it's okay for couples to be independent and do their own things. If you have a good relationship, you should be able to trust your partner to go to a party without sleeping with some crazy person. I was in a bad relationship, and I just didn't know it.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

I'm going to take a break from dating and try to enjoy being single for a little while. Being cheated on and going through so much really weird drama can take a toll on a person, and I don't want to jump into anything worse. Gotta clear my head.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

My ex stuck his dick in crazy. Thanks, I'm just going to eat a lot of Ben and Jerrys, wallow for the weekend, and then move on with my life. It's hard and it hurts, but it's way better than being somebody's doormat.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

She Facebook messaged me.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

She says she found me on his Facebook profile where we are listed as "in a relationship".

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

Our relationship is listed on Facebook.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

That was hurtful.

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

She does not say anything about the police in her message. I do not know whether or not she got a rape kit done, she very may well have already - this is one of the things I know that I need to ask her, but I think this is a VERY delicate situation and I don't want to say anything hurtful to her just in case she WAS assaulted.

I would probably forward the message to your boyfriend and tell him that you got this. You don't believe her but let him know that you were contacted by Crazy and that he needs to figure out what the hell is going on.

As for my boyfriend, I love him very much and I want to believe he would not do this, but I don't know and now there IS doubt in my mind. I know I need to confront him about this, and I guess just showing him the message and asking him what he has to say about it may be the best route. I don't even know, this is really hard. Should I break up with him over this?

tossitlikeitshawt · 8 months

If/when you confront him with it/show him the message or whatever he would be able to smoothly/truthfully deny it, however it may be. And you will never know for sure/always have doubts.

This is what I am worried about. He would deny it, even if it were true. I guess I could find other people who were at the party and ask them what happened?

tossitlikeitshawt

TROPHY CASE

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