Bacon - Nuff' Said...

tjw on Every time I go fishing my wife thinks I've been with another women.

2012-02-07T17:29:34.079437+00:00-0700

Buy a fishing pole and take it with you when you go out.

tjw on Does anyone use Bur Oak acorns as animals feed?

2012-02-07T16:05:06.661821+00:00-0700

I know acorns are a dietary staple of wild Wood Ducks, but I'm not sure how well domestic breeds handle them. You can cook/boil the tannic acid out of acorns to make them edible for humans. You could do the same for hogs, but I kind of doubt it would be worth the expense. As far as cattle, my pastures are full of oak trees. Adult cattle have enough sense to take a pass on eating acorns, but if an oak tree full of fresh leaves falls over, that's a problem.

tjw on Does anyone use Bur Oak acorns as animals feed?

2012-02-07T15:51:23.850177+00:00-0700

All oaks are poisonous to most livestock (cattle, horses, sheep, and goats at least). Relatively small amounts cause abortions, if an animal acquires a taste for oak leaves and acorns it results in death by kidney failure.

tjw on Tapping maple trees on the cheap.

2012-02-06T23:21:46.285739-07:00-0700

Yeah, you can, but it takes a lot more silver maple sap to make syrup because it's more watery. Also, the syrup you end up with is much lighter in color. It tastes about the same though. You can also tap Box Elder (it's actually a maple) and the syrup you get from them looks much more like what you get from sugar maple, but it has a fruity/tangy taste. Anyway, this early in the season around here, you won't get any sap out of a silver maple. Only the sugar maples are running right now, those soft maples are still frozen solid. Once it starts hitting 50F though, every tree will be pushing sap.

tjw on Tapping maple trees on the cheap.

2012-02-07T03:25:54.830004+00:00-0700

About 2 inches on a big tree. Maybe 1.5 inches on a smaller one. Basically you want to stay in the white wood, if you start getting golden heartwood chips, you're too deep.

Tapping maple trees on the cheap.

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:08:36 +0000

I saw there was some interest in cheap equipment for tapping maple trees in this thread. Here's how we do it:

http://imgur.com/a/GlJk0/

Materials:

5-gallon food-grade buckets with lids (free if you know where to look)
1/4" PEX pipe ($1.50 for 4 ft which makes 10 to 12 spiles)
7/16" OD by 5/16" ID vinyl tubing ($2.70 for 10ft which is enough for 3 to 5 taps)
Twine/rope/string to tie bucket to the tree.

Tools:

cordless drill
3/8" drill bit for bucket holes
11/32" drill bit for drilling into trees
PVC pipe cutter
small hammer to tap PEX pipe into the tree (you'll also need a pliers to remove it later)

Not pictured is the end of that PEX pipe that's in the tree, I cut that end off at an angle and have the shortest part of the pipe facing upward.

submitted by tjw to gardening
[link] [6 comments]

tjw on Should I help someone die?

2012-02-06T16:40:41.676323+00:00-0700

There's only one way to be sure: poison him with a 2 month-old McRib sandwich.

tjw on As a terrorist, I now realize that my Twitter followers might actually be under the assumption that I don't really want to "destroy America", but instead just want to get really drunk there. This is really embarrassing. What do?

2012-02-03T23:47:27.074467-07:00-0700

Hold on, he did say wives.

tjw on How should I tell my husband I'm pregnant - in the worst way possible.

2012-02-03T23:13:48.469679-07:00-0700

"It might be yours."

tjw on How a hunter feels after raising livestock...

2012-02-03T20:30:33.891780-07:00-0700

> Research shows they can carry 60-80 pounds at a walking pace which isn't that bad. Heh, yeah. Not bad if it happens to be walking in the right direction. Where I live, a few people run them with their cattle as guard animals. I'm pretty sure that's what the "seller" had been doing with it, and that's what I would have wanted it for too. The only trouble with the scenario was that I realized that if it was worthless to him, it probably would be just as worthless to me too and I would be the one who had to catch it.

tjw on How a hunter feels after raising livestock...

2012-02-03T20:11:22.145808-07:00-0700

There was a recurring giveaway ad on craigslist where I live for a long time for a free llama with the stipulation that you had to catch it. It also said something like "hates people, children especially." I have to admit, I was tempted, but it didn't really seem like it was worth the effort.

tjw on Can someone explain a reference in last night's episode?

2012-02-03T15:47:42.298062-07:00-0700

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Society_for_the_Prevention_of_Calling_Sleeping_Car_Porters_%22George%22

tjw on Who is this guy? He was on "camera" like 5 different times, including this strange shot where he walked right in front of everyone.

2012-02-03T15:38:35.596183-07:00-0700

Balls.

tjw on As a terrorist, I now realize that my Twitter followers might actually be under the assumption that I don't really want to "destroy America", but instead just want to get really drunk there. This is really embarrassing. What do?

2012-02-03T13:47:43.356660-07:00-0700

"I can't wait to get to America so I can walk into a night club and then get lit up. Just to be clear, I mean I will be BOMBED!"

tjw on Tapped that tree. My first step towards homemade maple syrup.

2012-02-03T12:00:59.971513-07:00-0700

> we go for the lowest cost investment on new hobbies. You can usually find used food-grade 5 gallon buckets with covers for free from cafeterias. They work great for collecting maple sap.

tjw on Unknown forest plant (sprout?), > 2in tall, woods of northern Michigan

2012-02-03T11:06:14.759533-07:00-0700

[Cocklebur](http://waynesword.palomar.edu/images/cockle1b.gif) is my best guess, but I don't think it's correct.

tjw on TIL there exists a song composed solely for stress testing auto-pianos, and is not remotely playable by humans - Circus Galop.

2012-02-03T09:42:43.216961-07:00-0700

> insert peanuts

tjw on Man showered by mysterious "blue goo" during hail storm in the UK

2012-02-03T08:55:06.800317-07:00-0700

From the comments on that site, it appears that they are [these](http://www.orbeezone.com/growing-orbeez/). They would be great fun to throw around the yards of any weather spotters you know if it's going to be a wet April 1.

As a terrorist, I now realize that my Twitter followers might actually be under the assumption that I don't really want to "destroy America", but instead just want to get really drunk there. This is really embarrassing. What do?

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 08:40:04 -0700

submitted by tjw to shittyadvice
[link] [23 comments]

tjw on New home owner, just encountered my first serious problem

2012-02-02T22:36:47.959213-07:00-0700

In that photo, it does look a bit like the water-soaked area of the drywall starts right at the wall box. It makes me think that drain is plugged and the water was overflowing out of that box when the washer drained. That box is designed so that a leaky valve will drain the water down the drain anyway, so I don't think that leak is the issue either. You could test it by manually running water down that drain using one of those hookup hoses. If it's plugged, take some wire (e.g. coat hanger) and put a hook on the end and see if you can fish anything interesting out of the trap.

tjw on Need Money For Emergencies? Here's How!

2012-02-02T22:23:18.365881-07:00-0700

a car title loan dot com recommends getting an incredibly high-interest car title loan? Seems legit.

tjw on What does this say about the NFL and it's fans?

2012-02-02T22:09:09.459455-07:00-0700

It says that way too many Wisconsinites are moving to the Twin Cities. 30%?! Come on.

tjw on New home owner, just encountered my first serious problem

2012-02-02T21:52:49.834155-07:00-0700

Do you have something that looks like [this](https://www.google.com/search?q=washer+outlet+box&hl=en&rlz=1G1TSNDCENUS442&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&source=lnms&ei=92YrT6CIB66I2gXfobmXDw&sa=X&oi=mode_link&ct=mode&cd=2&ved=0CGkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1119&bih=801) on the wall? It's possible that the DVW (Drain Waste Vent) portion of that wall unit was never hooked up and you're just dumping water into your wall. Do you see any place else near those valves that looks like it might be a drain for the washer? For example, if there's a laundry sink there, you may just have to fix the washer drain to the sink so it drains into that. If not, look for a simple drain trap with a standpipe attached to it. Otherwise, I suppose the drain in the wall might be plugged. Did you notice if water overflowed into that wall box when the washer drained?

tjw on Not All FedEx Drivers Are Dickheads. Mine Leaves These Every Time For My Dog.

2012-02-02T21:30:54.632339-07:00-0700

I live in a very rural area where most people's dogs run free. All the FedEx/UPS drivers carry dog treats with them and have subsequently trained every dog around into being their best friends.

tjw on My biggest 8 point. Just shot it this morning.

2012-02-02T09:42:39.526761-07:00-0700

I'm assuming this was on a game farm. On a game farm, the deer are fenced in and are the property of the owner. The hunting season does not apply since such deer are not technically wildlife.