When I was 16 I was in my first real relationship with a girl. I was head over heels into her. We were eachother's first... yadda yadda yadda. Anyway, she's a camp counselor and she tells me she doesn't know what's going to happen to us when she leaves for two months in the summer. I take this as she's going to dump me in a couple months. I'm devastated. A few days later I get really drunk and end up making out with some random girl while crying to her about how my girlfriend is going to dump me. So I cheated.

I feel extremely guilty, and after two restless guilt ridden nights I decide I have to tell her about my actions.

This is where the story gets creepy.

She was really into Post Secret at the time, so my backwards thinking 16 year old logic told me the best way to tell her I cheated was to make a hand made post secret card and give it to her. I then proceeded to bike to her house at 6 am in the morning (because I just couldn't wait to tell her). What followed was me, standing outside her house at dawn throwing pebbles at her window to try to wake her up because she wasn't answering her phone. Suddenly the front door opens and I end up getting greeted into the house by the whole surprised family (they were all up because her sister was leaving to the airport on a trip). So my distraught self mumbles to her mom, "I need to talk to (girlfriends name)."

"Ah, okay Petey108 everything okay?"

I just kinda lerched past her and make my way to my girlfriends room. Girlfriend is surprised but not worried when she sees me, I say we need to talk and I give her the post secret "I cheated" card

She's confused by what's written on the back. (at the time I was in a band and I wrote this really shitty rhyming song about how I kissed another girl and cheated). I cry, she cries. She breaks up with me. I bike home.

What proceeded was months of me writing more horrible songs about how I still love her. Playing them for my entire school (which she didn't even go to). Telling her I was thinking of suicide. Asking her to hang out and inviting her to my bands shows. Just all around disgusting horrible desperate ex boyfriend things.

I look back on it now, and I am so embarrassed about how I dealt with the break up, and how horribly creepy I must have been to her.

Anyway, fast forward a few years, and I am in university. I meet this guy who was friends with her in highschool. He knows who I am because of her and one of the first things he says to me is something like, "eh, you still making those post secret cards."

Turned out she showed the "I cheated" post card I made to most of her friends and probably still has it.

TL;DR Cheated on ex girlfriend, made her a "I cheated" post secret keep sake to remind her of the event.

EDIT: I just remembered the worst part of this story.

The morning I'm leaving to go to her house and give her the Post Secret. I find this letter she had sent me in the mail. It arrived the same day I went to that party and cheated. I had been at school durring the day and never got it. Anyway, inside was a page long letter basically putting to rest any of my doubts in the relationship. She said she was nervous at first because she had never felt like this for anyone, and was scared of getting hurt, but she wasn't worried anymore because she loved me. It killed me reading that before I left the house to tell her and the "what if's" ate away at me for months following the break up.