a few thanksgivings ago, my gf at the time and i broke up. a few weeks passed without us talking, and then i get a call from her saying 'hey, listen, i still have ur xmas gifts but cant return them... can i come by to give u them anyway?'

i didnt wanna see her but thought 'presents.' 'SURE COME ON BY!' she was like 'ok.. do u still have my gift?' i was like 'uhmm.... yeah' (i never bought that bitch a gift). i looked around the house and just threw an unopened bottle of lotion in a gift bag.

anyway, she comes and gives me this huge bag, and i sit there pulling out dvd after dvd after dvd, even a couple video games. i then pull out a sweet ass hoody of my fav hockey team. This girl like spent like $300 easily on me.

she then says theres one more gift.. but she needs me to close my eyes. i close my eyes, she says to open them.. and shes standing there wearing sexy christmas lingerie, and tells me 'i bought u this too.. i dont know if u still.. want it..' ... im like... of course i fuckin want it.

we do the dirty, lay in bed, then she asks for my gift. in my head im like 'FUCK!' but give it to her anyway. she opens it.. sees its just a cheap bottle of lotion, and sits there speechless. she looks at me with this disgusted angry look. and walked right outside and told me shes leavin.

i immediately put on my new hoody and pop in one of my new games. she comes back inside saying why didnt i follow her outside? (like i was supposed to fall for that game again) i told her 'we're not together anymore. u said u wanted to come over to give me my gifts cuz u couldnt return them. i thought u left or somethin.'

needless to say she did leave and i just had a day of unexpected hot sex and gifts and no yelling included.

SCORE!