Have a beautiful six month old daughter. Jut found out the wife is pregnant, again. Kinda freaking out a little. Any Redditors out there with children severely lose in age with some advice?

Guitarmartyr · 3 months

Congratulations! My kids are 23 months apart, and my brother and I are less than one year apart. It's all good. The first year will be a lot of work, but then your children will be eating the same things at the same times, they will be on the same nap schedule, will play together, can share toys and friends, and generally be best friends. They will entertain each other for years to come, freeing you and your wife up considerably. My kids are teenagers now, and they are still pals. Cheers to a great sibling relationship between your two!

MonkeyCatcher · 3 months

My husband and I like to get off the continent at least once per year. There were several years when our kids were small that we stayed domestic, but in general having a family and traveling the world have not been mutually exclusive. We started taking our kids on with us on international trips at ages 10 and 12. We have a bunch of fixed expenses due to being settled down, but we have our common priority to travel, so we sacrifice things like new cars and fancy stuff, and generally try to live below our means so that we can continue to travel the world. When we met, we lacked the funds to do much adventuring, but it was the topic of frequent conversation, so we both knew that travel was a top priority for each of us.

mofei · 3 months

Live within or below your means. Save your extra money. When you do spend, buy experiences, not stuff. You have enough stuff.

HyperbolicGeometry · 3 months

Well it wasn't because I didn't know the norms, but my kid puked on the subway in Tokyo. It was...awkward.

Suzy_Sweetheart · 3 months

I'd call the fire department and tell them that the elevators need to be inspected. When they fail inspection with the city, the owner will have to fix them.

aardvark445 · 3 months

It sounds like you'll have to be proactive about the situation...

aardvark445 · 3 months

If you want her around now, but not forever, and you're aware of this feeling, set her free to pursue a different relationship. It's a matter of respect for her, and you too for that matter. Obviously you don't feel great about the arrangement--there must be some self-loathing involved with stringing along a great person.

successful_brown_man · 3 months

I think that having a similar outlook on life is paramount to a successful relationship. Most of a marriage is not spent gazing at each other; rather, it is spent gazing side-by-side, into the chaos of the present and the haze of the future. If the two of you are looking in different directions, you can't help each other make sense of life nor its difficulties.

payphone101 · 3 months

Blame it on the teacher! Shame on him/her for not letting you go when you said that you needed to.

BeggAndEacon · 3 months

I wanted to be a Chanel No 5 girl, but when I put it on I felt like I smelled like an old lady all day. Such a bummer!

powderpoozle · 3 months

Little girls love this stuff too. A little goody bag would be the highlight of the day.

WholeWheatBread · 3 months

I've had cleaners on and off over the years, and I think that my household's quality of life definitely improves when I have a cleaner. It is not a waste of money, in my opinion.

I don't know what standard etiquette is, but I have always tidied up before the cleaner comes. It helps me to keep my piles of paper under control, and I've never left dirty dishes or clothes for the housekeeper. I hire out the heavy work like scrubbing bathrooms and mopping floors, which frees up more energy for me to maintain the general tidiness (I also get grumpy/can't concentrate when things are out of place or chaotic).

onholdforever · 3 months

You can raise them to be emotionally aware and socially well-adjusted, but when the teenage years hit, they still think they are the center of the universe and entitled to everything. This too shall pass, so I hear.

Also, kids bring their personality with them, and some are more demanding of attention than others. There's some nature and some nurture involved, in my experience as a parent. I honestly think that some kids/people are less "messed up" than others simply because of the brain they got.

The_Young_Contrarian · 3 months

There are so many schools of thought on this topic. I think individual views are largely irrelevant, as long as respect and pro-choice laws are in place. But if you're taking a poll and you think it matters, I think it starts at conception.

A_Disgruntled_Texan · 3 months

I don't understand why he has to be "dealt with". Your girlfriend was the one who was unfaithful to you, and you said she paid for the crime. He didn't owe you anything. She is responsible.

mofei · 3 months

It will be fundamentally different than anything else you've experienced. Going on 20 years here, and still feel like I hit the jackpot.

mofei · 3 months

Navy is the perfect "summer black" as is black. Think simple day dresses, skirts with interesting solid tops (do you wear white?), and keep the scarves.

mofei · 3 months

That seems quite arbitrary, especially since you do not know how you will think at 26 and beyond.

mofei · 3 months

No, not a good idea. You will still be of childbearing age when you've been on this planet twice as long as you have now; your opinions on many matters will change, some dramatically. When you're 40, you won't believe how young you were at 20. Keep your options open, please, for your own good.

giraffestafarian · 3 months

If it helps your perspective, I don't think that you will regret the law degree in the long run. I'm old, and my lawyer friends all have very nice lives. For the short term, I highly endorse daily endorphins, upon waking. Any method of getting them flowing will do, but have some discipline and exercise every single morning for a month, like it's a multivitamin, and then see how you feel. Best of luck.

conorthirteen · 3 months

Thanks. He's got two down and two to go.

As I think further about it, you may want to take the 3/31 audition date. If you are just now preparing, you need to consider if you can realistically land a scholarship. It may benefit your chances of acceptance to use the extra weeks to practice until your fingers bleed. Your goal should be to have your selections so deep into your muscle memory that you can play them with your heart, and that needs time, especially considering the nerves that will also factor into play.

I also recommend recording yourself with a camera at regular intervals. The playback is always useful.

conorthirteen · 3 months

My son is auditioning for music schools now (not guitar) and the process is quite intense. I recommend that you get as many private lessons as possible before now and the audition date to prepare your pieces. Also, I don't know if it applies to guitar majors, but you may have to sit for a music theory exam and a pitch test too. Good luck and don't let up on the practice sessions.

bamsaysyo · 3 months

It's wonderful that you are so supportive, but there's a fine line between being supportive and taking responsibility for him. He, and his depression, are not your responsibility in the end. If you can keep an appropriate level of support, compassion, assistance, etc. without getting emotionally enmeshed in his day-to-day probems, you will come through ok. It sounds like you're too too wrapped up; it would probably benefit both of you if you can back away a little bit, at least emotionally. Best of luck.

ImAllPro · 3 months

You might want to ask yourself, what do you get out of not finishing? Is an an opportunity to shield your work from critical eyes? Or a way to beat yourself up for not completing it? There are a myriad of reasons that could be why, but I would start by examining the root of the problem.

jayinater · 3 months

Can you plan for a nap after class? Sometimes just the thought of it is enough to get you through. Meanwhile, I'd recommend getting up and getting caffeinated now, and doing some homework, exercise, shower, laundry, etc....anything productive besides tossing and turning.

mofei

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