If he wanted to be with me he would be, right?

lostandconfuzzled · 7 months

This is what confuses me. I got that message and stopped talking to him, but after a week, he started emailing me--both small talk and more serious stuff (like asking me to talk to him when he's down). Is this a way of asking me to be there? I'm starting to think that I may need that space from him in order to move on, but I feel like it would incredibly cold to just start ignoring him.

lostandconfuzzled · 7 months

I feel like being there is the least I can do, regardless of what direction this takes. He is getting help, but it doesn't seem like enough and he's doesn't reach out to his friends. I had the full intention of moving on, while being there if he needed an ear, but I'm starting to realize it's not that easy.

lostandconfuzzled · 7 months

Initially, everyone around me thought it was a convenient excuse to end it, so there's always that little voice in the back of my head, even though I do believe he was being honest about how he felt. I forgot to mention that he is in therapy, and is in the process of switching from meds that stopped working.

I have been giving him space, and it seems like he may just be starting to feel better (like within the last few days). I don't expect him to come back the second he feels better, but wouldn't he at least want to see me? I'm not sure what kind of (friend?) thing we have going on here, and I feel terrible about moving on if he still feels something for me. Also, if he's feeling better, and feeling like, well, I'm good with being single, I would really like to know. But maybe it's too soon right now for me ask about that.

lostandconfuzzled · 7 months

I neglected to mention that his meds stopped working.

lostandconfuzzled · 8 months

Your story was not too long at all! It's really good to hear from someone who's been through such a similar situation. My ex had a similar reaction to me finding out a close family member was diagnosed with cancer where he couldn't handle it and thought we should go on a break before realizing he was being an ass. :(

Thanks for the book suggestion. Even though he's currently on meds, they haven't been working, so I will be sure to pass that on to him should he contact me.

Also, thank you again for taking the time to share all this :) It has helped me immensely! You pretty much covered everything I was wondering about the pro/con of being in such a relationship before I even asked. I'm amazed at how hard you guys have worked on building your relationship. I hope it only gets better from here, good luck with everything!

lostandconfuzzled · 8 months

You sound awesome! :) I'm having the exact same problem with telling myself that this is over and done with. Just realizing that I can do both is making me feel immensely better. Thank you :)

Out of curiosity, how much time went by between the break up and getting back together? Also, when your SO was depressed, did he check out emotionally? My ex can't seem to discern how he feels for me from just the blah feeling he has for everything.

lostandconfuzzled · 8 months

Thanks for the advice and reminder to be cautious. I've been with him for a year, through less severe episodes, so I know this will never go away, but at the moment it seems like something I can handle if in the future if he tries working on a new way to cope (where he doesn't need to push everyone away). I guess I need to ignore this possibility to move on.

lostandconfuzzled · 8 months

Thank you for the kind wishes and advice. Hearing it from someone who's gone through what he's going through is really helping me see it in a different light. Best of luck with you too! :)

lostandconfuzzled · 8 months

He would, but I'm worried there's more to it (tired of dealing with me or the relationship). Maybe I'm just taking this too personally.

lostandconfuzzled · 8 months

This is going to sound kind of dumb, but how do I tell the difference between him pushing me away and him really wanting me out of this life? I'm really worried about forcing my presence on him when that's not what he wants.

lostandconfuzzled

TROPHY CASE

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