itsdeuce

- friends
512 link karma
9,907 comment karma
send messageredditor for
what's this?

TROPHY CASE

I thought Reddit might enjoy my 86 year old grandfather's "business card" by crazedacornin funny

[–]itsdeuce 8 points9 points ago

An old man did something to me that I can't wait to do young people, someday (nothing like THAT, you sick fuck).

I was walking toward a grocery store past an old man who had just finished loading his groceries into his car. As I'm just about six feet away, he looks at me with a big smile on his face and says "Hey! You going that way?" and tilts his head toward the store.

I stopped and looked at him square and said "Yes," smiling a little bit, too, because his shit-eating grin was just so infectious.

"Good. Take that with you!" he says, and he shoved his shopping cart at me, full-force.

A pair of albino wombats. I think we should call them... chazzwazzers. by grusoin australia

[–]itsdeuce 1 point2 points ago

Ah, the boot episode. It has been too long since the Simpson's have been worth watching and even longer since I've seen that episode.

I have been to Australia, though. I spent a couple of weeks there (better than most Yanks, at least) in 2006 and left right after Christmas. Basically visited the east coast: saw Sydney, Brisbane, Nimbin, Byron Bay and stayed in Katoomba to spend the better part of a day hiking in the Blue Mountains. It was an awesome experience and I'd love to see more of Australia some day.

Cheers!

A pair of albino wombats. I think we should call them... chazzwazzers. by grusoin australia

[–]itsdeuce 2 points3 points ago

As an American that just pressed "Random" and was brought to the Australia sub-reddit, why "chazzwazzers?"

Ohhh Cincinnati... by xkaiserxremxin cincinnati

[–]itsdeuce 0 points1 point ago

And they'd assume that you're having relations...with your relations.

Tom Brady: "Whats a hover hand?" by misterActionin funny

[–]itsdeuce 2 points3 points ago

Now that's using your noodle, noodle.

Funny YouTube Video

Saw this at the China City Buffet in Mason... by itsdeucein cincinnati

[–]itsdeuce[S] 0 points1 point ago

I agree. The place is good and I've tried a couple of items from the authentic Chinese menu. It is nice that it is offered.

Saw this at the China City Buffet in Mason... by itsdeucein cincinnati

[–]itsdeuce[S] 1 point2 points ago

Ha! I tried r/funny and r/pics and couldn't get any traction. So I decided to bring it home...

Here's a picture of me with with my dads cat by 1Dersin pics

[–]itsdeuce 31 points32 points ago

Those tires pay for themselves when you hit gold/diamonds/mole people.

Here's a picture of me with with my dads cat by 1Dersin pics

[–]itsdeuce 3 points4 points ago

Caterpillar buzz-marketing on Reddit? Why I never!

First picture of giraffe bread in the wild. by WaifuHunter12in pics

[–]itsdeuce 5 points6 points ago

Why is it called Giraffe Bread instead of Leopard Bread?

Custom made wedding bands with waveform of the couple’s own voices. ”I do”. by kyla5614in pics

[–]itsdeuce 21 points22 points ago

Who holds back the electric car?

did you tell your wife yet? by wibblesomein funny

[–]itsdeuce 1 point2 points ago

A funny story that did happen that day: on the way to get socks (at Value City in like Orland Park or Tinley Park, Chicago) we stopped at Portillo's (I was with my aunt, uncle and cousin - not the groom's family).

We were sitting in their Honda Element in a parking lot eating and catching up with each other and, as we were sitting there, an old Town Car or Cadillac or something equally boat-like pulls into the parking lot, which is mostly empty, and parks (naturally).

The driver door opens and out comes a leg. The driver then spins around and attaches his prosthetic leg that he had just set on the ground outside the car. We laughed, not because the person was handicapped, but because it was just rather unexpected.

Then, this super hot chick leaving Portillo's saw it too and she laughed and Coke came out through her nose (this last line is bullshit).

did you tell your wife yet? by wibblesomein funny

[–]itsdeuce 0 points1 point ago

The only person that made it apparent was my dad and he only said "white socks?" and rolled his eyes. I think his reaction was more disbelief than disappointment.

Great quote, and something we should all remember when we hit a slump by Tayto2000in Fitness

[–]itsdeuce 0 points1 point ago

I died of malaria as I read that.

did you tell your wife yet? by wibblesomein funny

[–]itsdeuce 18 points19 points ago

A relevant story that isn't funny:

I wore white socks to my cousin's wedding, but stopped and got some black dress socks on the way to the reception.

Who does your taxes? by adunskiin cincinnati

[–]itsdeuce 1 point2 points ago

show off

Anyone who has ever sold anything on Craigslist can relate to this AD by Dr_Stinknucklesin funny

[–]itsdeuce 4 points5 points ago

You should have said "yeah" then shipped him $30 worth of scorpions and/or tarantulas.

Anyone who has ever sold anything on Craigslist can relate to this AD by Dr_Stinknucklesin funny

[–]itsdeuce 1 point2 points ago

Never know around here...

Actually I always know.

(kidding)

Anyone who has ever sold anything on Craigslist can relate to this AD by Dr_Stinknucklesin funny

[–]itsdeuce 6 points7 points ago

That may be so. But she didn't take my word for it over the phone and then she acted like I had done something wrong because someone else said they wanted it and came and took it while she mulled it over for a few hours.

Chris Sharma in Mallorca by FlexorCarpiUlnarisin pics

[–]itsdeuce 5 points6 points ago

Pimp shit. A thousand thanks, kind sir.

view more: next