Well... I guess I'm not the girlfriend of whoever made this

ThorTakeAthprin · 4 days

Totally inaccurate. If this were me, the entire top chart would be the "too much violence" option.... and the entire bottom one would be Iron Man.

perhapssomeday · 5 days

Thanks - I really appreciate hearing that.

perhapssomeday · 5 days

I try to be as realistic as possible. At this point, I am really only looking for two things: liking them as a person and, sad though it is to say, physical attraction is really important to me. It's not like I'm holding out for an Adonis - I just can't find the idea of doing sexual things with them unappealing. That's really all that matters to me at this point.

perhapssomeday · 5 days

Just like the OP, I've become really jaded. I'm going into early childhood education - not a whole lot of men in that field. I just don't really know where I'd even meet people post-college, so I'm not too optimistic about it.

perhapssomeday · 5 days

Yeah, I made an okcupid about a year ago and deleted it after one day. I just found it so uncomfortable. I have been asked out by guys before, but I'm pretty much queen of getting asked out by my closest guy friends - people I know I like but am not attracted to at all. So I get what you mean about it making you feel less capable... it's like, I can't even appreciate that there ARE people that have been into me. But I'm a firm believer in waiting for what you want - and I truly believe we'll both be stronger from waiting longer.

perhapssomeday · 5 days

Fellow forever alone checking in. I completely, 100% understand what you're going through. I'm still in college, and pretty much every single one of my close friends is an intense, long-term relationship. My 21st birthday was a month and a half ago and I've never even been on a date. The worst part is that I don't even like cats, so I'd even be a horrible cat lady.

In all seriousness, though, I know what it's like to be jaded and down about this. You said you're content with life most of the time... you've got to try to focus on that and, according to my mother at least, love will turn up when you're least expecting it to.

militarywut · 6 days

Younger me would be happy about most things - where I ended up at school, for example - but would be absolutely horrified and devastated that I haven't had a boyfriend yet.

babaoryan · 10 days

My mom and I were the only ones in the theater when we saw it, and I was a cute little four-year-old, so the theater employees gave me a free poster. That thing was on the back of my door for YEARS and I would always stare at it.

Then we went to Disney World when I was 12 and my family teased the crap out of me and insisted I take a picture with him >_<

babaoryan · 10 days

... you weren't the only one...

BeerGoggles · 22 days

Yup, it's all about hanging in there. My fingers are crossed for both of us!

BeerGoggles · 23 days

I didn't have a particularly bad day, but I've been having a crappy semester. I still don't have a summer job - all my friends have really great things lined up, and I'm getting rejection after rejection (one of my friends, knowing that I'm super outgoing and give campus tours, said to me "Can't you just stay at school and give tours?" Sure - I applied to do that, made it through two rounds of interviews, and thought I had the job in the bag before they rejected me). Last summer I got my dream internship and now this year I'm scrounging around just to find SOMETHING that will give me some money. I'm coming up on finals so I have less time to look, too. And speaking of finals, my grades this semester haven't been where I'd like them to be. I've been having focusing issues but I've gone into the majority of my assignments feeling prepared and like they've gone well - but ironically, the only exam I came out of saying "Holy SHIT that was hard" is the only exam this semester I've gotten an A on.

Socially everything sucks. I've applied for a bunch of leadership positions in my clubs/activities and I'm constantly passed over for someone "better suited." I am more than capable of acknowledging when there's a logical reason for choosing someone over me, but for a lot of these things I was not only incredibly qualified but full of good ideas and enthusiasm... Also, every single one of my friends has a boyfriend and I'm 100% forever alone. I turned 21 less than a month ago and I have never even been on a real date. I'm hopelessly crazy about a guy who, as far as I can tell, has zero interest in dating me, but every time I try to get over him my mind just comes trailing back because I've never felt as cared about as I do when I'm with him (confusing - I know). My friends spend loads of time either with their boyfriends or talking about them, and I don't want to tell them that because I don't want them to think I'm not happy for them.

So yeah... I can totally relate... sorry for the novel - I just SERIOUSLY needed to vent :\

throwit79 · 23 days

Well, personally I'd be more happy and relieved than angry. She may be a little hesitant at first but if you never really did anything to make her MAD, I think it should be fine - maybe don't send a text asking for plans right away, have some conversation over text first.

throwit79 · 25 days

I say text. It'll make her smile... and your situation actually sounds a lot like one I'm in right now with a guy, and I know if he were to text me out of the blue it'd make me really happy.

earthxshakes · 1 month

Thanks for the advice! Live music and casual sports both sound really appealing to me (I'm not so much into geeky things or guys - I would've had a much easier time if I were... back in high school I got asked out by a bunch of geeky guys who were very nice, I just wasn't attracted to). I also had an OKC for a while but it made me really uncomfortable, so I deleted it.

And I appreciate the honesty of your last comment - I didn't really want to attach a picture of myself, but that's part of the disconnect I'm seeing. I take very good care of myself and generally look cute and feminine... I get loads of compliments from GIRLS haha...

earthxshakes · 1 month

I very briefly had an account there - it made me super uncomfortable, so I ended up deleting it.

earthxshakes · 1 month

That is what I've heard, I've just never found myself able to completely stop looking. Thanks for the support :)

earthxshakes · 1 month

Thanks, I appreciate it! In terms of knowing what I'm looking for, I do - but at the same time I'm trying to be more open. I tend to very much like "guy's guys," guys that are really into sports and rock and roll and such, very stereotypical dudes. I just turned 21 last week, so I'm hoping that my campus bar will provide me with some new opportunities to meet people now that I can actually get in.

How overt I am depends on the situation, but subtlety is not in my vocabulary so most guys I'm into end up figuring it out even if I don't make an overt move. And right now there's no one I'm focused on... I was into the same guy for a veryyy long time and he kind of screwed me over. So part of me is still trying to get past that.

(Also, writing is just something therapeutic I do for myself. Almost no one even knows I play guitar, and even fewer know that the songs exist.)

MosadiMogolo · 1 month

YES. He is so good-looking and funny and so... normal-seeming that I don't even care that he's twice my age.

jazzhandsfuckyou · 2 months

I just skipped it and it let me submit it anyway. I'm two weeks away from 21 and it can get really hard sometimes (I hope you have other single friends... but if not, I can empathize... I don't have any really close ones at the moment), but I just have to remind myself that it doesn't say anything bad about me. And there's nothing deficient about you, either!

ImpossibleWaffle · 3 months

It exists.

Ceci_Nest_Pas_Sparta · 3 months

Also, I forgot something really important - kissing is great, and comes to feel really great too, but for pretty much everyone I know it felt REALLY weird at first, especially when tongues are involved! So don't worry if it's not as awesome as you expected; it'll get there eventually!

Ceci_Nest_Pas_Sparta · 3 months

I had my first kiss at 19 and I had all the same concerns that you do. I would say don't give a disclaimer to begin with - it might come off as a lack of confidence (during my first kiss, I blurted out, "Sorry if this sucks, I'm kind of inexperienced," and I was beating myself up for it for hours). If he asks if it's your first kiss (which the guy I was kissing did), feel free to answer honestly.

The thing about kissing is that everyone overthinks it, but it's way easier to just jump in. Let him lead in the beginning until you get the hang of it - and you probably will pretty quickly! I know it can be hard to not overthink things like this, but try and just have fun with it :)

minion_of_osiris · 3 months

Story of my life. I spell it the same way as her, though.

redditorforENDOFdays · 3 months

I will join you on the not-cheery train. Valentine's Day is technically over where I am, but I had a pretty crap day and usually do. I'm all about being happy and confident on a regular basis, but sometimes just missing that one person can feel like a huuuge gaping hole. Doesn't help that I'm coming off a whole bunch of drama and emotional crap. :\

earthxshakes

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