A Muslim teenager was murdered by her parents for bringing “shame” on her Pakistani-born parents by leading a Western way of life and trying to go on dates with boys in the UK.

douchebag_duryodhana · 3 days

In this case I think it is relevant. Two people are accused of killing their daughter for not wanting to marry who they wanted her to. They happen to come from a culture where this is more common than it is in the UK. I think it would be odd to not mention their country of origin or the religious motive. There is more to this than "Parents murder daughter".

Edit: whoever downvoted me, remember downvoting isn't intended for comments you disagree with, it's intended for spam and comments that don't add anything to the discussion. If you downvote comments you disagree with it makes debate difficult.

Edit edit: what the hell? This is why reddit is awful for debate. I'm one of the most liberal, left-wing people in my peer group, and I'm being downvoted by people who are apparently assuming I'm some EDL arsehole.

DetoxTomorrow · 3 days

And of course if you had that 'one more go' before you quit, you'd be in exactly the same position: still thinking about how you could have one more go. And that goes on and on and on. Hang in there, you can do this :)

drabish · 3 days

True. I distinctly remember the first time I tried beer, wine, and spirits wondering how the hell anyone could enjoy them.

jcohle · 3 days

Four things have occurred to me about moderation, which may or may not only apply to me:

1) I've tried to moderate my drinking hundreds of times and it always failed. I tried to quit once and it worked.

2) Moderating my drinking would take constant self-control and vigilance, and that would be a miserable way to live.

3) Literally the only property of alcohol I liked was that if I had enough I'd get drunk, and if I had more I'd get drunker. I don't see the point of training myself to only drink enough to not get drunk, even if that were possible.

4) In my experience, you can't just quit addictive substances whenever. You have to do it when you're in the right frame of mind, or as the AA people say, you have a moment of clarity. I'd wanted to do something about my drinking for years before I managed to quit. If I started drinking moderately, even if there was only a 1% chance of me starting to abuse alcohol again (and I think the odds would be higher than that), why would I risk it when it might take me years to try to quit again? Or worse, what if I never managed to quit again? Right now I'm in the fortunate position of not being addicted to anything. I wouldn't risk that, for anything.

MelancholyMusic · 4 days

Firstly, congratulations on recognising that you have a problem. Double congratulations on recognising it while you're young.

I don't have much wisdom to give, but I'll say this: you seem to have accepted that alcohol is doing you and your life a lot of damage, and doing you no favours. That's good, because you won't be able to quit unless you really want to. If you can find a way to make a mental switch from "I ought to stop drinking" to "Drinking has done nothing but harm me and I want nothing more to do with it", that will help. Maybe you're already starting to think that way.

I'm glad you found this subreddit. It has been enormously helpful in my sobriety. Having a support network is invaluable. I come here daily. I've never been to AA or anything, but if there are AA meetings or similar near you why not go?

drabish · 4 days

Thank you :)

xbt5 · 5 days

For a while after stopping I felt like there was some kind of filter between me and the world. I think it's pretty normal. I found it helpful to feel like that, actually. It was a constant reminder that alcohol had been messing up my brain.

Jonnays · 9 days

we've all tried that and failed

I know someone else has already commented on this, but I think it's important. I quit cold turkey. I know AA has been crucial to a lot of people's sobriety but I think we need to avoid telling people in this subreddit "You have to quit this way."

steiner76 · 9 days

I have two cats, so they poop a lot

As someone who's had three cats at once, this made me laugh :)

When I'd been sober for over three months I found some empty bottles I'd hidden in my at some point. It made me feel pathetic for ever doing that and then awesome for not doing it any more.

Franks2000inchTV · 17 days

I actually love this subreddit. I couldn't quit before I came here, because I hadn't accepted that I was an alcoholic. Then I found this subreddit, and read a lot of stories that sounded very similar to mine.

I'm glad more people are finding it. :)

drakeluthier · 27 days

'When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?"' - Sydney J. Harris

fangasm · 27 days

I got one too. For anyone who reads this and is confused, MTV are apparently trawling reddit to cast people with OCD (and maybe other problems?) for a show called 'True Life'

bc1986 · 1 month

I remember your first post and I'm glad to hear you're at the month mark now. Well done :-)

drabish · 1 month

I've been interested in meditation for a while but not got into it yet. I'll have a look at those books, thanks.

sajjr · 1 month

I've been in a similar situation. Since she's offered you gifts of alcohol, have you made it clear to her how important sobriety is to you?

FeelinTheJoy · 1 month

I'm witnessing myself mature every day.

It's amazing isn't it? It's like drinking alcohol (excessively) prevents you from learning and growing from experiences.

Congrats on the 30 days, by the way :)

badacct · 2 months

The good news is you can still sleep in late and you won't feel like crap when you do wake up :)

bendy_banana · 2 months

They can only lift 50 times their own body weight because they are so small.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Square-cube_law

If you took a 2 mm ant and scaled it up to 10 cm, it would be 125000 times heavier and about 2500 times stronger. In other words, it would be able to lift only its own weight. Any bigger and it would struggle with that.

I don't know about you but I think I could take on a 10 cm ant.

Incidentally, I can carry about half my body weight if it's distributed properly. If it were possible to scale me down to 2 mm high I should be able to carry over 400 times my weight.

future86 · 2 months

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Square-cube_law

The bit under the biomechanics heading in the applications section sums it up well.

Essentially, strength is proportional to size squared and weight is proportional to size cubed.

damnit_to_hell · 2 months

I've tried to moderate my drinking many many many times (I've lost count) and kept failing. This is the first time I've committed myself to quitting and it's worked so far.

poopright · 2 months

62 days. When did I cross the 60 day barrier? When did I stop counting the days?

drabish · 2 months

Thanks for the advice. I'm not sure where to look for a support network really.

drabish

TROPHY CASE

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