I wrote a review for my school magazine on the five worst things of the internet. Goatse was there, tubgirl, all the usual. And then #1 was Rebecca Black because she was the 'figurehead of banality'.

You have meddled with the primary forces of nature, Ass_Masterson, and I won't have it! Is that clear?

You think you merely stopped people from hating Rebecca Black. That is not the case. Mediocre pop stars have taken billions of dollars out of this country, and now they must put it back! It is ebb and flow, tide and gravity. It is ecological balance.

I, for one, demand good music. Children should be listening to the greatest icons of our time and the past, not feeding themselves on music designed for their demographic.

Edit: But Ass_Masterson still made me feel bad about writing that article. Damn.