Can't I take a bath in peace??

jmp325 · 2012-05-25T01:50:16.472371+00:00

Three words: Nautical Air Horn.

marcussantiago · 2012-05-25T01:26:13.659909+00:00

Whatever, if I hear "Set Fire to the Rain" one more time I'm going to disembowel a Care Bear.

Thinkyt · 1 day

I know! Every time I went camping I had to knock the cork in with a rock and a stick. You'd think ONE of five or six campers would bring a Swiss Army knife or something.

mehhman · 2 days

You can have mine! All three of them! They will sit in your lap! Whether you want them to or not!

octupie · 2 days

I'd like to thank the author of this article for making me feel good about being a heavy drinker and smoker.

streeter5000 · 3 days

Oh crap what the hell did I just walk into.

JimKB · 4 days

Jim, your sense of humor keeps getting weirder and weirder.

bonitaappetita · 6 days

Why do I keep clicking on this page when I know it's the "TVtropes" of Wikipedia?

NotGirlyEnough · 6 days

Hi! How's it going? I feel like we've met before.

The next time you lure a lonely, vulnerable guy into a "FWB" relationship, TELL him that's what it is, and not just once. Don't let him spend all his money on you. Don't stake a claim on him or be jealous when he talks to other girls. Don't move in with him. Tell him it's temporary.

Or better yet, date guys that are just as you are- emotionally lacking.

Taqwacore · 6 days

I find that men are discriminatory to women.

mrUndeadSamurai · 6 days

We all know it's face paint. She still looks like a movie zombie.

coopernelson16 · 7 days

I like my tomato soup kinda thick, so I make in the slow cooker. When you do that, a skin forms over the soup. If you let the skin get thick enough, you can skim it off (in pieces) onto a Boboli pizza crust. Way better than jarred pizza sauce, not sweet or gloopy.

edit: added the word "jarred".

DontHateMasticate · 7 days

Hell, I'm going to try making some of these from scratch.

RageMau5 · 7 days

I pee in the center of the toilet to get the maximum amount of bubbles.

And then... I DESTROY THE BUBBLES WITH THE LYSOL! HA HA HAAA!

MastyaBader · 14 days

You are looking at a Twin Reservoir Jacketed Condenser, designed specifically for experimental comedy.

Supersnazz · 15 days

Where's Morris?

joe_shmo123 · 16 days

I am seriously not surprised at all that this hoax got this far. It will most likely go much further. After all, how many people on this planet truly believe we're actually being visited by aliens from other freaking star systems?!

wampug · 19 days

I want bush. But please shave your legs.

reply · 20 days

No. They don't. And whatever rights Humans still have were invented by Humans.

missinginfraction · 20 days

I never met a girl that really cared about me. So now I'm going on 14 years with a woman whom beat me up less often.

remembername · 22 days

One page is facing a window, the other is facing a lamp. Be more observant to your ambient light sources, it is important to becoming a great artist.

bucknakid14 · 22 days

I don't own any. I play reality, son.

TeamLaws · 22 days

I don't like sweet stuff either. The only time I eat sweet food is when somebody hands me a doughnut at work. "Here!" "Uh... but... okay."

bigbearbrad · 23 days

"You Obviously Lack Originality".

pillsburydoeboy · 23 days

It seems to be shoved somewhere between the two.

archemedes_rex

TROPHY CASE

archemedes_rex

TROPHY CASE

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