Just got a drinking ticket in Ontario.

aureliusantoninus · 10 months

Just take responsibility for your actions, jeez.

Vomit_Sandwich · 10 months

I should have known by the winky face! Great, now the guy standing outside my window watching me probably thinks I'm a creep.

Kaielll · 10 months

There are few things Redditors love more than jerking each other off for being smarter than someone else.

pikitis · 10 months

Any time someone questions my behavior I usually just answer "meth". Oddly enough, most people find it satisfactory.

Ceriumde58 · 10 months

Intense! I hope everything goes well and it's one of those happy noncancerous tumors. I just had a twenty pound tumor removed from my ovary a week ago. That bitch was benign as hell. Good luck and keep smiling, pain meds are awesome!

Reborn_Veteran · 11 months

She sleeps on her back and I keep catching him sleeping on her chest, he weighs 15 pounds.

Reborn_Veteran · 11 months

Poor guy was too scared to get upset so he just kinda went along with it.

Reborn_Veteran · 11 months

One day I heard my five year old daughter laughing her ass off in the bathroom and when I went to check what I was missing out on, I found her with our newly adopted cat and a bottle of hand soap. He was covered head to tail. Poor kitty, although it was kinda funny.

Reborn_Veteran · 11 months

I just had a chicken nugget five minutes ago. It was delicious.

rolandboard · 11 months

I think I saw my head. Sweet.

hive_worker · 11 months

You're trying waaaaay too hard to troll. Keep at it, you will get better with time.

jasonjulias · 11 months

I have no idea what the point of your post is...

AeliusMistry · 11 months

So you are asshurt about people making fun of your mistake and had to make another submission explaining yourself...yaaawn. This is only an issue to you, nobody cares.

Phoenix_Heat · 11 months

The quotes around "Do not eat" make it seem more like a challenge rather than a suggestion.

ion_11 · 11 months

I think you missed the joke...

boredx100 · 11 months

It's crazy intense, I'm still OMGWTFing. But it's all good, I've been watching the fuck out of Netflix and have awesome friends. Hoping for the best!

BenderRodrigezz · 11 months

I don't understand the Bieber hate. Did he do something evil that I am unaware of?

lollalove · 11 months

They look ghetto on ghetto people and trashy on trashy people. My sister wears them and she is neither ghetto nor trashy, she just looks like a dork.

boredx100 · 11 months

I wish I could go back to work. I am laid up in the house with an incredibly swollen leg due to the fact I have an ovarian cyst the size of a watermelon fucking shit up inside of me. That also caused a large blood clot in my leg. It will be this way until I get surgery in two weeks. Hopefully, unless that vein is fucked forever and my leg never gets back to normal. I'm just hoping it's not cancer. Yay!

terdfergussen · 11 months

I beg to differ.

fromalanddownunder · 11 months

Aside from the joke I do not quite get, I have always used the "golden eye" steps when using a vending machine. I am so confused.

kempo666 · 11 months

A Deerhoof concert.

eyedrop · 11 months

My husband is the worst offender, I swear it's a dude thing. He doesn't even realize he is doing it most of the time. His cell phone ring tone might as well be the sound of a starting gun. Sometimes I will follow him around the house when he is on the phone. Hilarious to me, not so much to him.

InSidious425 · 11 months

Not really, I think there is a hair in there...

hueypriest · 11 months

I'll be at the Louis CK show. Terrible planning!

Vomit_Sandwich

TROPHY CASE

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