On the Quebec Student Protests

sesoyez · 2 days

The protests has never been about solving the issue of students tuition. It's just a pretext, a McGuffin.

The protests have always been about youth testing it's own power, seeing how far they can go in standing up to authority, seeing how much attention and support they can get. Like the basically everything else 20-something do. How much alcohol can I drink without passing out? How fast can I drive without losing control? How many times can we take to the streets before the Government caves in to us?

KegsNKrill · 4 days

Just to get a sip of water. They don't need to be part of it.

thenuge26 · 5 days

How is Paul Henderson's goal not one of the top comments?

Doormat-Dramaqueen · 6 days

There's a simple way to work around this: next time he tells you he's going to call or text you; tell him you'll waiting until X o'clock, and if you haven't heard from him at that time you'll find something else to do.

I dont know about others, but I've been raised with the idea that making someone wait is very rude. Time waiting for someone else is time wasted. The least you can do is give the other a set time that they can work around.

Choosing days to meet is one thing. Choosing when to text or call is another. Meeting is a bit more complicated than calling or texting. With today's technology, I can't imagine it takes a freaking schedule just to text or call someone. If someone can't take your call, they'll just let it go to voicemail. A text takes 2 secs to read.

Take back control of your own time. Start planning things regardless of him. Be the one who's busy when he wants to hang out; call/text him when you feel like it.

oliveohm · 6 days

Sorry, but you were doing dinner wrong. You need to decompress before eating, always. Eating while still stressed out is bad on many levels.

sliced_lime · 7 days

"Shenanigans" and "Emelin" don't go too well in the same sentence.

Emelin is as clean a hitting, physical D you're likely to find in these days and age. Very little yapping, after-whistle crap.

So I don't really know what you're talking about.

oliveohm · 7 days

"We need to talk" has been overused and intensely associated with the subtext "I need to criticize you".

Just phrase it differently. "I need to ask you something" goes better. Then just frame the rest as an open-ended question, for example "Why do you prefer X?" or "Why do you often Y?". From there, bring in your concerns. If it comes obliquely, there's more chances that he doesn't feel it as a direct assault on himself, so less defensiveness/withdrawal.

The settings is also important. Don't bring it up in bed just when you're about to go to sleep. Very bad idea. Usually a good time is over dinner. You're sitting down and have a whole plate of food to go through. Harder to just up and leave and avoid the conversation.

sliced_lime · 7 days

Never really saw that leeway you're talking about. He just can't fight. The whole Malone episode was just that. Emelin couldn't drop the gloves when Malone wanted to go.

BootsWithTheFur · 7 days

Stop calling me "sir", it's insulting.

I'm not that old.

BootsWithTheFur · 7 days

So... you overreact to imaginary slights, think everybody else but you is at fault and overall just act like a woe-is-me ungrateful vulgar bitch; and then wonder why you feel alone, lost, with no one to turn to and why your boyfriends are cheating on you?

Your problems starts with your attitude. That's a real advice, the best one you'll ever get. You're welcome.

BootsWithTheFur · 7 days

Your whole story & attitude reeks of self-fulfilling prophecy. If all you know is cheating boyfriends, and you expect it to happen, and treat your boyfriend as if he's almost surely cheating on you; it'd make them even more likely to cheat on you. They're already guilty, so why put up with the time without enjoying the crime?

There's only so much mistrust and implied accusations one can take in a relationship, especially if they're unfounded.

All your issues (feeling alone, lost, confused, low self-esteem) all point to your problem being mostly about you, not you spouse. Seems that your perspective is very narrow (lack of IRL friends), skewed by the internet (not really representative of real life).

You would benefit a lot from broadening your social circle, involving yourself more outside of your relationship in real life, not online. It would, at the very least, help you cope with self-esteem/confusion/isolation issues.

thingscouldbebetter · 7 days

Being good with the bitches is easy.

Being good with the sane women is harder.

sliced_lime · 7 days

It's embellishment, but it's also definitely a hooking/obstruction call on Franzen.

Look, the stick is between Emelin's leg and hampering his movement when he tries to go forward. That much is clear. That's a clear penalty.

The embellishment is another thing all on it's own. Don't like it, penalize it.

sliced_lime · 7 days

It's no different than an injury, and if he feels it's unsafe to play, then he should play.

It's not unsafe to play, it's unsafe to fight. And last time I check, you're not obligated to fight, ever.

oodlesofnoodles4u · 7 days

One way around this is (if you have room) to have a "play room" in the house, just for that purpose. Can't enter it until the rest of the house is all taken care of, but once in it, it's a sacred sanctum.

oodlesofnoodles4u · 7 days

Not that surprising.

There's a french expression for it: "Le repos du guerrier". Might translate it to "Warrior's rest". It's the strong, deeply seated idea in generations upon generations of men that "battles" are fought outside (work), and that home is for rest, peace, quiet and unwinding. Subtext: home is where there's zero responsibilities, demands, obligations and expectations. It's an old, possibly archaic instinct; but it doesn't go away without conscious work.

thingscouldbebetter · 7 days

Often I find myself aggravating her, mentioning her weight, making snide comments about her dried up snatch, being generally very annoying.

That's because insanity is contagious. She's starting to infect you.

Being 36 and having met more than my share of mentally insane women earlier in my life, I probably could have easily spotted the early signals and do much earlier than you the one and only thing that can be done in those cases: run for the hills as fast and as far as possible.

You're just 22 though. You probably still have that feeling of invincibility, that nothing bad can truly happen to you. Also you're probably still more driven by your cock than your brain. Also probably still have that foolish romantic ideal that you can uncrazy any girl with just enough love. You're also probably very insecure about your ability to find someone else, and are unreasonably clinging to her because you're scared of being forever alone. That's the only reasons I can imagine you haven't completely get her out of your life.

Unless you're a drama junkie or desperately want to experience what it feels like to have a cold metal blade being inserted in your vital organs multiple times, RUN. You can't save her, it will not get better again and there's nothing for you in this relationship.

Use your brain.

oodlesofnoodles4u · 7 days

I don't see it improving. He's almost 30 and I'm afraid this is just who is he is.

Psssh. I'm 36. Changed quite a bit since I was 30. Don't give up on it.

The thing though, is that what you call "unbalanced" is a typical male trend. Many men often tend to spend more time/energy on very specific thing, completely neglecting/forgetting the rest. The need to be actively involved and have every part of their lives balanced and working to their liking isn't as imperative and visceral as it seems to be with many women. In your husband's mind, he could very well think that everything (including you and the kids) is probably perfect as it is and not in need of any more attention. So he probably feels that, since nothing is broken and needs fixing; it's entirely reasonable that he gets to spend what free time he has doing only entertaining things: play video games, have sex, watch movies.

I'd guess he definitely takes his family life for granted. In his mind, all his well and doesn't needs his attention. You need to make it very clear to him that not all is well, and that other areas of his life needs attention. It's pretty much that simple. Don't make a scene, don't accuse him of anything: just make him explicitely aware of things that requires his full involvement, attention and time. See how he reacts after that.

handee_sandees · 7 days

Also, my GF is somewhat of the jealous type, and has been bugging me for a while to get engaged. When she hears about my roommate and his GF getting engaged before we do, with the type of relationship they have had, she will not be happy with me.

That kinda reflects badly on your GF. Jealous, bugging your to get married, getting mad because someone else gets married 3 days before you do, blaming you for it.

I'm pointing at it, because in the context of all you wrote, it seems that it's your girlfriend's reaction that you really fear. Yes, your roommate is being somewhat of an asshole for trying to do it first. However, it's not the kind of thing that actually does any real damage. The fact that you are actually afraid of being undermined by it points at a real problem with your GF, not your roommate.

If your GF starts blaming you and changes her views about your relationship just because someone else is getting married before you two; then that's the real problem.

this_guy_says · 7 days

Hmmm. Everybody knows that rule. Roy included.

Remember this infamous incident? Roy could have easily jumped in the fray but stayed away, even tried to coax Hextall into crossing the redline (automatic penalty).

Of course, later in his career Roy stopped giving a crap about that.

fijilove · 8 days

Aaaah crap. I thought it was just the January semester. Not 3 whole years.

That changes things tremendously. I wouldn't wish a 3-yrs LDR to anyone of your age, ever. This very specific period of your life is too crucial, you need daily real-life face-to-face relationship experience.

I'm sorry, but for both of you, the relationship should end. Once that is clear, I don't see any need to drag things on.

fijilove · 8 days

Weight things carefully before making a decision. If this girl is all you want, just one semester abroad isn't particularly bad. It's nothing against you. Sure, you might not see her for a while; but keep the whole heartbroken stuff for real heartbreaking things; like the relationship actually ending.

The only real problem you're having now is one of time. Time away from her. It's nothing permanent. Nothing to really fear that much. Use your feelings to your advantage. Get involved in more things yourself, fill the void with more activities, more shit to make her miss you. Heck, take a break and follow her there!

whatshouldido87 · 8 days

Things had been going well since then.. but being out here on my own.. I started to find that I was second-guessing things. Don't get me wrong, there's no one else in the picture.. but at first, I thought he really might be the one. I was almost positive. Now, I'm not so sure. Even during a couple of visits with him since the move, I've had my doubts.

Old French saying goes: "Loin des yeux, loin du coeur". Translation: "Far from the eyes, far from the heart".

The meaning is that once you remove yourself from the daily presence of someone you love, their presence will naturally sort of... fade away. It's especially truer if you're not the codependent type and can go on about your own life normally.

Being on your own, away from him, simply freed your from the daily thralls of couple's life. You now have to make the distinction between what belongs to life with him in particular; and what belongs to life in a relationship with any man. There's a sorting work that needs to be done. Keep in mind that being one your own and "independent" again might skew your judgement in disfavor of relationships altogether; that you could mistakenly attribute all to him as a person.

throwaway8203846 · 8 days

People who make wild accusations that seemingly don't match actual facts are often projecting their own guilt on you.

In other words, she's accusing you of something she would probably do herself. That's why she's completely ignoring your point of view. She's holding unto her own; which probably implies that she (would/has) lied to you about similar indiscretion.

The marriage thing is a huge deal. Especially if a woman that says you're lying and cheating suggests it. It's completely contrary to any common sense. A sane woman that thinks you're a pathological liar and has a problem with it doesn't trully want to marry you... unless she has ulterior motives that a marriage would fix. You're absolutely right about not gobbling up her views on that.

I'd be very cautious here. She's not making any bit of sense on the surface; so either she's hiding something from you or she's mentally unstable and just starting to show it.

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