HawaiianBrian

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My novel about Hawai'i, A Chant of Love and Lamentation, is a Finalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest by HawaiianBrianin books

[–]HawaiianBrian[S] 1 point2 points ago

Thanks. My competition are great, and deserve it if they win.

How to Write a Book in Three Days by HawaiianBrianin writing

[–]HawaiianBrian[S] 15 points16 points ago

Formulaic? Yes. Unoriginal? Probably. Pile of Crap? That's up to the reader to decide. Different strokes, after all.

My sister got accepted into the peace core today, they want her to ship out two days before my wedding, any ideas? by Lizzzardin peacecorps

[–]HawaiianBrian 3 points4 points ago

Peace Corps does operate in a very cruel way sometimes, and maybe on could even use "elite assholes." It would have been fantastic if they could have let her know more information early on. Hell, I wanted information on my own assignment and departure much earlier than I received it. But that's not how it works, and since neither of us are involved in placement at Peace Corps headquarters, we have no idea what causes these long delays with little information. I believe its because Peace Corps themselves are working on aligning dates, calculating best assignment locations, etc., all for thousands of volunteers at all stages of their service all at once. Our little application (or the OP's sisters) is just one of thousands and thousands. It's not like each application has a dedicated employee.

So you can rail against it all you want, but it's the current reality of how Peace Corps operates. The OP has exactly two choices in this situation:

  • Try to get her sister to cancel her dream of Peace Corps to attend an afternoon event.
  • Accept it and move on.

Which of these stances is "stupid"?

My sister got accepted into the peace core today, they want her to ship out two days before my wedding, any ideas? by Lizzzardin peacecorps

[–]HawaiianBrian 7 points8 points ago

All right, this isn't going to be what you want to hear, and you'll probably think I'm an asshole for this. But here's how it is:

I know you really would like her to be there, and I'm sure she would, too. But this is a huge, life-altering experience for her that will last two years and foster her own growth. Your wedding, while very meaningful to both you and her I'm sure, is a ceremony. It's a ritual. The important thing is the marriage itself.

Peace Corps is a large organization that deals with hundreds of volunteers all over the world, facilitating their safety, their placement, their training, their travel, etc. Her group is flying out at a certain time because Peace Corps has forked out a lot of money to do so, timing it with an intensive training period that was probably determined before you even knew you were going to get married on the day in question.

Peace Corps is not interested in changing the departure date for your sister because they've already invested a lot of money in her. They bought her ticket, they've paid the training staff, they've spent months arranging a homestay for her (which involves numerous interviews and safety inspections with the people involved), they've made ground transportation arrangements, they've booked hotels -- all for your sister, so she can give of her knowledge and experience to people out there would could really use it.

Not to mention the fact that she's been given a second chance, something Peace Corps is not generally known for. They have a reputation to uphold -- in fact, one could say their reputation is more important to the survival and success of the Peace Corps than anything else -- and it's pretty amazing they let back in someone with a DUI stain on their record (convicted or not).

The application process is difficult, and yes sometimes cruel. But they aren't doing anything to you. It's just an unfortunate coincidence.

I know it isn't what you want to hear, but both of you will just have to accept that she won't be there for the wedding. She can watch the video later. Just realize that for the small sacrifice of not having her present for this brief ceremony she is getting a chance to have a life experience very few are granted. The desire to want her to miss her departure to be there is, frankly, selfish on your part. Understandable, but selfish. You just have to realize in life you don't always get what you want. In this case, at least it's for a good reason!

I am a Finalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest! by HawaiianBrianin writing

[–]HawaiianBrian[S] 1 point2 points ago

Sure!

In order to qualify, one has to have never had a book published traditionally. Self-published is okay. It needs to be under about 150k words and over 50k. The actual rules can be found here. However, you have to post more than just your whole manuscript. You have to post an excerpt, which must be the first 3,000 - 5,000 words of your book.

You must also write a pitch, which for some people is the hardest part. It's tough to boil down one's novel into a couple of paragraphs and make it sound intriguing.

When the contest opens, you have a certain period of time to enter before it closes. It also closes when it reaches a fixed number of entrants -- 5,000 in General Literature and 5,000 in Young Adult.

Then you hang tight and wait for the first elimination round. During this round, the editors only look at the pitch, choosing the top 1,000 who will move on. The rest are cut.

The next stage is about a month later, where editors and experts will read and review your excerpt. Two reviewers will answer these questions:

  • What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?
  • What aspect needs the most work?
  • What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

Each answer is about 100 words or more. These can be brutal, or if you're lucky, very complimentary. They will also rate the excerpt on a scale of 1 - 5 based on Overall Strength of Excerpt, Prose/Style, Plot/Hook, and Originality of Idea. The better the review, the more likely you'll move on to the next round, because that's how Amazon will determine which 250 entries will move on to the next round.

Here were mine:

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt? The urgency of these opening passages marks this book as special. The author uses the techniques of suspense with skill. Besides providing obstacles for Charlie to navigate en route to his task, he also questions his motivation and ability to complete the task, trying to justify the terrorist act. This is a completely enveloping beginning for the story. What aspect needs the most work? The author needs to proofread out the overuse of adverbs and the overuse of hyphenated adjectives. In addition, the tense shifts can be confusing, so a second look at tense throughout would be helpful to the reader's sense of time. The reference to Charlie as "already a ghost" appears too soon, and the constant use of questions, while true to the character's emergency, are distracting and could be rephrased into his interior monologue. What is your overall opinion of this excerpt? My opinion of this excerpt is "Wow!" This is a book with a bombshell of a beginning set in an exotic location with an unlikely set of circumstances brought to light. Few tourists would feel that they create anything but happiness for Hawaiian natives, and to know that poverty, drugs, and resentment linger in the backstreets is an unexpected twist of true historical fact. What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt? The excerpt slowly but steadily builds the suspense and anticipation to the bombing. The delay because of the accident - Charlie's fear creeping up on him. Will he be able to do it? It immediately drew me in. What aspect needs the most work? Charlie's reasons for doing this need to be explained and understood. Not everyone knows the history of Hawaii and the deep divisions there. What is your overall opinion of this excerpt? The story starts off very dramatically and slowly but steadily rackets up the suspense. Charlie has the possibility of being a sympathetic character who is doing terrible things for what he feels are good reasons.

Now you've made it to the Quarterfinals. After waiting around another month and biting your nails, you will receive your Publisher's Weekly review. This is a longer review of the entire manuscript, and much of the review is a plot summary. These reviews can also be pretty tough if they have negative things to say, because they don't hold back. Once more, the manuscript is rated on a scale of 1 - 5 on basically the same criteria. Your score determines whether you will be one of the lucky 50 who move on to the Semi-Finals.

My Publisher's Weekly Review:

This well-developed work imagines a Hawaii in the aftermath of an act of home-grown terrorism. Meaning to shed light on their cause, returning Hawaii to Hawaiians, the state’s secessionist movement takes the extreme tack of bombing a tourist hotel on Waikiki. The impacts, more far-reaching than the bomber had imagined, unfolds through the stories of three characters: Charlie, a mixed race cab driver who is convinced by members of the Warriors of Freedom to be the bomber; Jeff, a self-important real-estate agent whose life falls apart after the murder of his wife, Anna; and Daniel, the heir to the Hawaiian throne. After the bombing Charlie flees to the mountains where he faces the choice of living by his wits or dying. He isn’t around to see tourists staying away in droves, resulting in the collapse of the island’s economy. For Jeff, the loss of jobs and rising foreclosures have little impact; he has no interest in living. Daniel, who had been running from his heritage, returns home and is pulled into the “Hawaiian Islands, Hawaiian hands” movement, a group with money and political clout. The intertwining of stories is effective, providing a fully developed view of the consequences set in motion by the hotel bombing, and the narrative is cohesive, believable, and well worth a reader’s time.

You've made it pretty far. Only a couple of steps to go, and this is where it gets really intense. About one month later, you'll get a phone call from Amazon to let you know you've been selected as one of the three lucky Finalists. The date of this phone call is provided in the contest rules, so if you don't get a phone call on that date, you know you didn't make it.

The reason they do this instead of announcing it officially like all the other steps is because they need to make sure you get some paperwork back to them on time. Failure to do so means they'll select one of the other Semi-Finalists instead. In other words, they need some time to make sure the Finalists are all going to work out before they make a formal announcement.

Getting that phone call is mind-blowing. Everyone hopes for it, but who really believes they'll get "The Call?" I was visiting my in-laws in California when I got the call, and at first I didn't know what it was about. I'd forgotten about the call (which was good, because overthinking it is too stressful). I thought someone had bought a used book from me and had registered a complaint or something. Then the woman on the other end told me I'd been chosen as a Finalist and I nearly lost it. She told me to reserve the weekend of June 16th, as they will be flying my wife and I to Seattle for the awards ceremony. (More about this later).

The next day I got a phone call from Penguin publishing and was put on a conference call with several bigwigs there. They spent about 20 minutes asking me questions about the origin of my story, inspiration for the characters, etc. I'm sure they're curious, but I think it also serves to let them double-check on the authenticity of the manuscript. This conference call was unexpected, and caught me right at the end of lunch. It's probably a good thing I didn't know it was coming because I would have been too nervous to speak.

A flurry of emails came afterward, with attached paperwork that needs to be filled out and faxed back -- things like non-disclosure agreements (don't worry, I'm not breaking any rules by talking about this process) and a potential publishing contract (which IS covered by the NDA so don't ask). I scrambled to get them all back in a timely fashion.

Okay, so the last step. Once they make the formal announcement of the Finalists, you can announce it yourself (they don't want any Finalists spilling the beans first). Then on the weekend of the award ceremony, they will fly you and one other person to the gala. I'm not sure how much of the process I can tell you here, but I can say all six Finalists (3 in each category) will be reading an excerpt from their novel and briefly discussing it before a large audience. After all this is over, they will announce the winner. From what I gather, they have a poster-sized mockup of a cover (or maybe just the title? Not sure yet) under a sheet, and they remove the sheet as they announce the winner. As you can imagine, the stress is going to be HUGE. I might need some liquor to calm my nerves!

Longer than you wanted, but that's the gist of it. I encourage all aspiring novelists with a complete manuscript to enter. Unlike most contests, this one is free. And it's big. Even if you don't win, many people who make it to the Semi-Finalists or beyond are offered contracts or contacted by other agents. It's well worth an aspiring novelist's time.

Urgent Message, WWI. by UrinalCakesin pics

[–]HawaiianBrian 0 points1 point ago

He's sending a tweet.

I am a Finalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest! by HawaiianBrianin writing

[–]HawaiianBrian[S] 0 points1 point ago

Wow, thank you! I hope you enjoy it.

How do I write about a city I've never even seen? by grahamedali13in writing

[–]HawaiianBrian 0 points1 point ago

The physical layout isn't the hard part, it's getting the sensory details right. One thing you can do is borrow sense memories you have of other cities that are similar, then run them through the filter of the facts you learned about the city you want to set it in.

I am a Finalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest! by HawaiianBrianin writing

[–]HawaiianBrian[S] 0 points1 point ago

Thank you, I really appreciate it.

I think these androids don't get enough attention around here. by D3ckerin Cyberpunk

[–]HawaiianBrian 3 points4 points ago

I liked it. It was the ending it needed, because the whole thing was about trying to recapture a past that is gone, and the need to say goodbye.

What the heck happened, SciFi/Syfy? by blacpetein scifi

[–]HawaiianBrian 8 points9 points ago

I am continually amazed that people pay upwards of $100 dollars a month for cable television.

What the heck happened, SciFi/Syfy? by blacpetein scifi

[–]HawaiianBrian 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, I was just reading this and it says it all better than I could.

What the heck happened, SciFi/Syfy? by blacpetein scifi

[–]HawaiianBrian 46 points47 points ago

This happens to every channel. Remember when Mtv used to be all about music? Somewhere along the line they experimented with other programming, stuff that didn't at least tangentially relate to music, and the rest was history. (By my reckoning, it was Liquid Television that started this slide -- before that, if memory serves, the only other non-music programming was Remote Control, but even that dealt often with music videos.) Of course this happened because reality shows and cartoons and shit kept more eyes glued to screens, but at some point one has to wonder how they can justify keeping the name "Music Television."

Same thing happened to Discovery, the History Channel, etc. Reality shows in all their iterations have proven more profitable than the originally-intended programming, and so now we've arrived at a place where most channels are bland copies of one another.

I hate television.

A friend of mine found this on her car... by Justgot_herein WTF

[–]HawaiianBrian 110 points111 points ago

After three times coming back to my car and finding my Darwin fish snapped and lying on the ground, I stopped putting one on.

Side note: I have never, even in my most militant days, ever thought of doing anything like that to a Christian.

[Savage Worlds] Question on skill rolls by kieranthethoamsin rpg

[–]HawaiianBrian 2 points3 points ago

Like pretty much everyone else, I came to Savage Worlds from the d20 system (among others) and it took a while to understand why attributes aren't added to/rolled with skills. I finally grokked it when someone explained it this way:

Think of attributes as your character's potentials, not actual degree of performance. As he learns skills, he will find it easy until he hits the ceiling of his potential. He can still improve beyond that, but it becomes much harder. Thus, someone with a natural propensity toward hand/eye coordination and flexibility will find it easier to learn a skill like Lockpicking than someone with poor natural talent in those areas. That doesn't mean people can't still improve despite their lack of natural talent, it's just harder for them. And of course natural talent can itself increase, but it takes much longer.

Anyway, ultimately this means attributes are mainly used to determine how easy it is for you to learn skills and what level they start hitting a "wall." You might use a raw attribute sometimes, but most of the time it's the skill you want. In fact, in almost all cases you use the skill, and if someone doesn't have any training in that skill they must roll d4-2 (plus the wild die -2).

Writing my first Shadowrun Campaign by sexycrunchmonsterin rpg

[–]HawaiianBrian 0 points1 point ago

Head over to r/cyberpunk and see if there are any goodies there. Maybe you can print out some pictures of scenes to use as visual aids.

Your thoughts on xp and 'Leveling up'? by Henry_Jamesin rpg

[–]HawaiianBrian 0 points1 point ago

Yes it is a type of XP system, but it's more open and customizable. This is no different than what most RPGs do -- GURPS, Savage Worlds, heck even Call of Cthulhu grants spendable points to improve a character as time goes on. I'm not really sure how one can circumvent that, unless you wanted to ditch mechanical character improvement and just go with improvement through equipment/wealth, reputation, or some other intangible.

Your thoughts on xp and 'Leveling up'? by Henry_Jamesin rpg

[–]HawaiianBrian 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, that's pretty much where I got the inspiration from this.

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