DjDuctTape

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TROPHY CASE


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Watching the BBC F1 Broadcast... Wait. Is that..? by optikalblitzin DnB

[–]DjDuctTape 1 point2 points ago

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Cyantific was working with a torque wrench.

God is OP by lochin leagueoflegends

[–]DjDuctTape -1 points0 points ago

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Still think he's OP.

US Border Agents asked me my religion and my parents' religion before letting me into my country by US_border_woesin WTF

[–]DjDuctTape 1 point2 points ago

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Asking your religion at customs is pretty standard. It dates back to the days when we accepted immigrants from all countries. My great great grandfather immigrated from Scotland and on his naturalization papers they asked if he was an Anarchist. That seems absurd in this day and age, but back then it was a serious question.

Another thing to ask is, what country do you live in, this is the internet so there's no real reason to keep that under wraps. Without knowing that, I can say for certain why you were detained.

I'm at a furry party and am convinced that the squirrel by the punch bowl is my grandma. How can I tell for sure? by TheBlastoin shittyadvice

[–]DjDuctTape 1 point2 points ago

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Tell her to make you a sandwich, it's the only way.

I just stepped on a piece of broken glass and am bleeding everywhere, what do I do?? by InspecterJonesin shittyadvice

[–]DjDuctTape 0 points1 point ago

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Cut out the affected area.

My friend may have acute bronchitis. What can Reddit do to help her? by DjDuctTapein shittyadvice

[–]DjDuctTape[S] 0 points1 point ago

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That's what I said, but she just quit.

How do I get rid of this &#$%'in cold? by deadfred53in shittyadvice

[–]DjDuctTape 0 points1 point ago

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Meth!

My daughter's guinea pig just died and I am at a loss as to what to do with it. by DaGipsyKingin shittyadvice

[–]DjDuctTape 0 points1 point ago

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You'll have to kill her now too.

Hey guys I just ran out of weed. What are some other good ways to get high? by cockyroosterin shittyadvice

[–]DjDuctTape 0 points1 point ago

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I smoked carpet once in a crack pipe, I got a bit of a buzz.

Hey guys I just ran out of weed. What are some other good ways to get high? by cockyroosterin shittyadvice

[–]DjDuctTape 0 points1 point ago

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How do you know? Have you tried it?

I got an iPad for Christmas but I don't know what to do with it. Advice? by detestrianin shittyadvice

[–]DjDuctTape 1 point2 points ago

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Show the person who got it for you that you truly love it, by having sex with it.

I want to take my girlfriend out for a New Years dinner. Where should I go? by srocco3in shittyadvice

[–]DjDuctTape 0 points1 point ago

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Denny's.

Who is the guy with the face all red? by xoobin WTF

[–]DjDuctTape -3 points-2 points ago

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Win!

Thoughtful questions. by end720in AskReddit

[–]DjDuctTape 0 points1 point ago

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You'll need to be more descriptive. Like a riddle?

SA, my girlfriends birthday is coming up, what should I get her. I REALLY want to surprise her! by [deleted]in shittyadvice

[–]DjDuctTape 6 points7 points ago

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Ok, so you need to buy her a puppy. But a sickly puppy with like puppy sickle cell anemia. Watch her eyes light up, and the slowly fade as the dog's health deteriorates.

When it finally dies, tell her that it is a metaphor for your love. When she becomes offended, tell her you're just kidding and a slap her ass.

Propose to her friend the next day.

Authorities discover 30 tons of marijuana AND A border tunnel by grimreefer310in news

[–]DjDuctTape 0 points1 point ago

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Damn it! It's gonna be so dry!

Who Else thinks I should Paint The Reddit Dude on the side of my house? (I'm talking 1+ Stories, not some tag sized troll) by BloodyFreezein AskReddit

[–]DjDuctTape 0 points1 point ago

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Me.

McDonald's new slogan begs the question... by DjDuctTapein WTF

[–]DjDuctTape[S] -2 points-1 points ago

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Do you know how to suck?

McDonald's new slogan begs the question... by DjDuctTapein WTF

[–]DjDuctTape[S] -1 points0 points ago

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I Frappe maybe 6 times a day.

McDonald's new slogan begs the question... by DjDuctTapein WTF

[–]DjDuctTape[S] -2 points-1 points ago

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I Frappe in the car while I take the kids to school.

I invented (I think) a new 3d display technology which requires no glasses and has actual virtual depth (not stereoscopic, no glasses requires, not a hologram). Anyone able to poke a hole in this? by solusoluin technology

[–]DjDuctTape 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah, not that it matters because you never shut the fuck up.

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