Here's a little back story.

I met my boyfriend about a year ago and all was swell in the first couple of months, as most relationships are. After the first three to four months I noticed that he made little effort to see me. I would go out of my way and take off of work to care for him when he was sick, I brought dinner to his mother whom I had not yet met, I paid for every single expenses on every trip that we took together (the trips were for him, not me, and he didn't even offer or try to help pay for anything), I cleaned his house several times, paid for dinner/movies/entertainment and on and on. I've canceled obligations and rearranged my priorities to include him and to make time for him; however, he fails to do the same for me. I've been sick three times since our relationship began and not once did he drop or rearrange his casual engagements to bring me food/watch over me/care for me during the course of illness.

From the beginning of our relationship I have had several conversations with him about how I felt he was selfish and inconsiderate and have spelled out exactly what it is I need from our relationship. We've broken up once before over his failure to make an effort but he swore he would make a conscious effort to change. We've been back together for about a month now and I again fell ill. I spoke to him the day I got sick to let him know that I was on my way home from work. He had the day off and had absolutely no plans until the evening but he still made no effort to check on me or take care of me.

Reddit: Can someone selfish actually learn to see past themselves? Has anyone else experienced a relationship like this? If so, how did it turn out? Are these behaviors learned or do they just come naturally?