What's the best "That's what she said" you've ever had

Angolite · 11 months

A friend of mine squeezing out the last of a box wine and saying "all that work for just a few drops"

My head almost exploded when I heard it.

Morieris · 11 months

A co-worker wheeled his chair over to ask something, but left without a satisfying answer - "I can't believe I rolled over for that."

doinitright · 11 months

Hmm I've had a few good ones, but trying to choose the best? That's really really hard.

ryepitcher · 11 months

Freshman year of college I was hanging out with some guys in a dorm room, stoned and bored, and one of them started waving around a bendable metal ruler. "This is too bendy for me to have fun with," he said.

TWSS_opportunist · 11 months

Dont touch it or it will squeak

brokenjill · 11 months

I've already posted this one before but it's still great....I was watching two kids, 4 and 8 years old, and the 8 year old tossed some candy into the 4 year old's mouth. He didn't chew it at all, just swallowed it down whole. I told him he needed to chew it next time so he didn't choke. He then said, " If something comes in my mouth, I just swallow it". I about died.

coreyspencer · 11 months

My bother-in-law and I stopped by a gas station on the way back from Home Depot to get our wives and us some pop (44oz, Diet Coke, pebble ice). That's 4 44oz drinks. As we get in the car I was trying to balance 2 drinks and my brother-in-law said:

"Hey, I can take one in each hand and put the other between my legs."

We laughed the whole why home. Wives didn't find it as funny as we did.

catchme25 · 11 months

listening to the tv a little too loud with the patio door open, some commerical (too stoned to even know what for) says "penetrates deeper" .. someone off the street yelled thats what she said.

Securitron · 11 months

Was at a friends BBQ at an apartment when the guy cooking at the grill comes in from the balcony and yells "Everyone get ready, the meat's coming in waves!"

Andy_1 · 11 months

Playing football in a cage, somebody shouts "Dylan get out!", seemed hilarious at the time but these jokes have a very limited appeal.

WoodJaguar · 11 months

In Chem class, a friend asks, "Why does this seem to get harder as we go along?

Nipzzz · 11 months

My best (girl) friend had consumed an ungodly amount of food at BWW, and she looked at our friend while we were walking to another store and said 'JJ, GET IT OUT OF ME, I'M GOING TO DIE'.

He then said 'If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that...', but I feel a twss would have been just as effective.

christoefur · 11 months

I was a surgical tech helping a spine surgeon operate. He removed some of the patient's lamina, and asked me to cut it into smaller pieces. I was struggling and told the surgeon, "Doc, this patient has really hard bone." "That's what she said," was his response.

PlatypusPuncher · 11 months

Well, we have this teacher at my school full of nerds. It is a magnet school for technology and I'm sure at least one of our students will see this and know who the teacher is. Anyways, she allows for outbursts of that's what she said if timed wisely. We were talking about physics and she said you have to rub it harder (referring to a static rod) and I burst out that's what she said. Anyways, they just kept going that day during the period and she said that "you guys should have seen the one I got off on student earlier." Our class lost it and she couldn't teach anything for the rest of the block period.

eldog · 11 months

Mom on the phone to someone: "Oh, well just take it out and you can put it back in wherever you want."

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