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[–]WhitYourQuining 984 points985 points ago

Another good one:

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

[–][deleted] 291 points292 points ago

it's been my experience that as people age their ability to learn from others decreases. a lot of people in their 40's seem to have stopped learning altogether unless the information confirms biases.

[–]RustyWinger 266 points267 points ago

Hey, there's actually a word for this: complacency.

[–]lost_in_blizzard 232 points233 points ago

I am 32. I feel complacency set in more every day.

The reason is I have spent the last ten post-college years working, and by and large the people indeed getting ahead tend to have qualities that I disagree with- the lie, cheat and Fuck over anyone in their way. The best thing one can do in the face of someone "getting ahead" in life is to stay as far away from them as possible, or risk getting shat on.

If you consider yourself moral, complacency is better than the alternative. There is truth in the saying "selling your soul".

[–]Kavika 101 points102 points ago

Engineering degree, working in a cubicle farm...fml fml fml

[–]Mr_Initials 270 points271 points ago

So you are the one who makes the cubicles eh... How old are they when they are ready for harvest?

[–]jinglebells 17 points18 points ago

Depends whether they're going to become cubicle milk or milk cartons.

[–]40below 62 points63 points ago

Relevant.

(Well, I think so. Religious studies degree and experience editing awesome fiction . . . working in a cubicle farm.)

[–]HomerTron 26 points27 points ago

I consider myself moral, and as I grow older I add my own options. I find it to be very problematic when we limit ourselves to black or white alternatives.

I struggle against complacency every day.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]lefthandedspatula 4 points5 points ago

Your comment sums up a feeling I've had for a long time, but never had the words to express. I hope you don't mind if I quote you.

[–]Brisco_County_III 68 points69 points ago

Personally, I've noticed that those who tend toward closed-mindedness get more so as they age, and make up the majority, but those who tend toward being open-minded get more open-minded. They don't necessarily learn too much more, but they are entirely willing to consider it.

[–]LowerThoseEyebrows 60 points61 points ago*

The more open minded I become, the more I notice how close minded everyone else is. I end up in arguments with everyone these days.

edit: typo

[–]Creabhain 11 points12 points ago

The annoying thing about being open minded is that there is a rachet system working against you all the time. Every time you listen to and consider the other guy's point of view you lose ground in the opinion of a closed minded person but of course they never "cede" any ground i.e actually listen to your side.

[–]Rvrsurfer 23 points24 points ago

"The sign of an educated mind is the ability to entertain an idea, without necessarily embracing it. " Heraclitus

[–]WhitYourQuining 134 points135 points ago

As someone that is 40+, I take offense to that. I continue to learn, both on my own, and from others. In fact, I would say that I am more capable of accepting wisdom from others than at any time in my life, especially my teens and twenties.

The difference, and what I think you are driving at, is deciphering what lesson there is to be learned. I see many of my peer age group that decipher what's going on around us in what I consider the "wrong way". But then again, I deal with what I mostly would consider corporate elitist fucktards.

[–]awesley 50 points51 points ago

As someone who is 50+, I agree with you taking offense.

[–]nomel23 32 points33 points ago*

Whenever I picture internet users from the long long ago, I picture them using telnet to connect to web pages, reading the page source as fluently as if it was plain text, typing "helo" to send email, and wearing beards and wizard hats.

Edit: Everyone, I found them! Grab the pitchforks!

[–]Rimbosity 10 points11 points ago

pretty close to the truth, except instead of web pages, we had gopher and archie... web didn't really exist so much until the early 90's.

just sayin

[–]Correctorman 39 points40 points ago

I cannot fault anything that WhitYourQuining says. As someone who is also 40+ I agree that complacency is not my problem. I question my own assumptions, knowledge, and understanding at an ever-increasing pace. I find that the accessibility of information through the internet is a great way to challenge assumptions and understanding and I think it may be the driver of change for me. Younger types have no idea how hard it was to get new information before the internet. I've come a long way and I suspect I have a long way to go. As for everybody else, I imagine that there are those who look outside themselves for new information and those who just want to validate who they are and what they believe. The internet may only accelerate the movement between those two extremes.

[–]RelentlesslyStoned 3 points4 points ago

no kidding man. I remember this in high school: if you knew something about a band, you were a social elite. It meant you could afford some weird magazine subscription or were just plain magical.

Nowadays, that false aura must be almost entirely collapsed.

[–]CaseyG 30 points31 points ago

This statement confirms my biases.

[–]trashed_culture 43 points44 points ago

There is something called Kohlbergs levels of moral reasoning. The early levels have to do with avoiding punishment, the middle levels are about understanding society's rules, and the final levels are about seeing things outside the box, i.e., judging them from an outcome or higher priciple standpoint.

Supposedly most people never make it past the middle stages.

There is also some evidence that many people who make it to the higher stage begin to regress as they age, seeing things more from the general societal viewpoint.

There is also a thing called heuristics, generally applied to decision making, which is a quick way of making a decision based on incomplete or initial data.

I think as we age we develop our own patterns of thought and judgement, and these tend to gradually fall in line with our personal goals, rather than our personal ethical beliefs. Thus we gradually spend less time thinking about things, which allows us to maximize our goal oriented behavior.

This isn't to say that we stop learning or thinking, but maybe we don't continually re-assess our patterns of thought and belief, since we've already devoted our whole lives to creating them.

[–]GyantSpyder 26 points27 points ago*

In my experience a lot of the people who claim they are open-minded and flexible in their 20s are full of crap and avoid risk, change or meaningful engagement with people they disagree with as much as older people.

People in their 20s like to yell about people they hate while calling themselves open-minded. But it's rarely about growing personally, it's usually about browbeating the other person of your own set ways, or confirming what you already believe with an echo chamber.

Then, as people get older they realize they are not the only person who is stubborn and set, and that yelling doesn't accomplish much, so they stop yelling.

This lack of active disagreement is often misunderstood as the closing of the mind. But if the disagreements were just emotive and not substantive - as they so often are - then nothing has closed, because nothing was open.

[–]JonSnowForever 8 points9 points ago

The opposite happens in my experience. Maybe I'm just surrounded by really easygoing older people? It seems to be kids in their 20s who think they know everything already.

[–]thecatgoesmoo 11 points12 points ago

I don't think older people stop learning necessarily. They just see past the naive belief that something can be done to change/fix it. It might be a cynical view, but it comes from wisdom and frustration of the past.

[–]abyssinian 15 points16 points ago

They just see past the naive belief that something can be done to change/fix it

...or that anything can be done to change/fix themselves. I know too many older people who gave up reading years ago, never try new things, and do little other than go to work, eat, sleep, and watch copious amounts of television. It saddens me; it's as if they just stop. Even if there were no chance to make the world better, why do people stop feeling the need to better themselves? That is making the world better, one person at a time! Why does life turn people who began with passion and curiosity into extra couch cushions? Is the world really so hard and cold that it breaks us down into automata? It's difficult for me to take their "wisdom" seriously when this is how they have chosen to use it. I listen first to the people who are still using their minds and engaging with the world well into old age. Whether they are poor, rich, anonymous or famous is irrelevant; it's not about "'success." It's about curiosity and perseverance, about creating meaning. They have wisdom I can use--and they would never tell me to just sit down and watch my society crumble, because I can't change anything.

But, you know, no offense.

[–]chemistry_teacher 19 points20 points ago

This sounds like you're younger than that.

Many people in their 40s are dealing with raising their kids (which is simply exhausting) and trying to make sure there are no earthquakes in their careers. As a result, they are happy enough to live in a world that is predictable (if somewhat unjust) as long as they can manage to get through each day with some semblance of finishing off with enough rest.

There is also the demographic factor. Baby boomers (pro-Hemingway, Ayn Rand groupies) don't complain, do their bit to be successful and provide food for the table, and find that young people generally disregard all the blessings they've received from their parents' hard work. Younger Gen-Xers see all the injustice (from a position of being perhaps ignored emotionally by their parents and their society) and want to make a change. Even younger millenials (who are just growing up) have been nurtured and coddled by these Gen-X parents, and think that change is inevitable. They feel the greatest sense of empowerment to effect that change.

The world changes when people in their 20s (as yet unmarried, or perhaps more importantly, without children) step out of their expected career tracks to look around.

[–]CaptainJeff 1341 points1342 points ago

There's also this one from Mr. Adams.

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."

[–]whencanistop 703 points704 points ago

One of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them: It is a well known fact, that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job. Another problem with governing people is people.

[–]Tibyon 527 points528 points ago

My personal favorite "To summarize the summary, people are a problem.".

[–]dooozer13 214 points215 points ago

Thought it appropriate to add some Churchill quotes here:

"It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried."

"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."

[–]dalgeek 106 points107 points ago

Can't remember who said it, but I recall hearing a quote like "OK, think about how dumb the average person is; now realize that half of the people are dumber than that."

[–]Gizank 43 points44 points ago

Google says George Carlin, but he used 'stupid' instead of 'dumb'.

[–]dalgeek 6 points7 points ago

Ah, that definitely sounds like Carlin.

[–]Tactful 10 points11 points ago

Thank god for that qualifier, otherwise the entire foundation of the quote might have shifted.

[–]ICantSeeIt 64 points65 points ago

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.

-Winston Churchill

[–]BigGrayBeast 271 points272 points ago

something our machines will one day conclude.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

We can only hope they think we're fun to keep around, and find a use for our ability to be illogical.

[–]fwaggle 61 points62 points ago

When our robot masters end up going to war with another race that is 100% logical, we will be their trump card. When the enemy can accurately guess every move our robot masters will make, the robot overlord will seek me out and ask "what would you dumbasses do?"

[–]kwabina 32 points33 points ago

That's a huge plot point in SG1.

[–]InvisibleManiac 37 points38 points ago

Pretty much the foundation for much of the series, actually.

EARTH! VICTORY THROUGH STUPIDITY!

Wait, wat?

[–]Azuraith 14 points15 points ago

"If we can't out-smart them... maybe we can out-dumb them!" *everyone looks at the humans*

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

If they're truly sentient, they'll have the ability to be creative and illogical. Except they'll be much, much faster at thinking than humans.

gg humanity

[–]paetactics 94 points95 points ago

Skynet is nigh

[–]Bleaghhh 137 points138 points ago

Hmm, read that as Skynet is high. That'd make for a much more interesting scenario.

[–]humblemoley 136 points137 points ago

What if...we build a robot...and it's made of LIQUID METAL man! Yeah...liquid metal...Walk through fences and shit

[–]thatguyfromthatparty 36 points37 points ago

[–]RoamingRunner 11 points12 points ago

I laughed good sir or madam!

[–]thatguyfromthatparty 21 points22 points ago

[–]Valorien 20 points21 points ago

"If you want to get high, ...come with me..."

[–]youremywifenowdave 32 points33 points ago

"come with me if you want to get high" FTFY.

I also challenge anyone not to hear that in Arnie's voice.

[–]rocketbootkid 37 points38 points ago

"What Jesus fails to appreciate is that it's the Meek who are the problem". - Reg, Life of Brian.

[–]skuggi 15 points16 points ago

I believe it's "To summarize the summary of the summary".

[–]hipstersarepeopletoo 8 points9 points ago

The President in particular is very much a figurehead – he wields no real power whatsoever. He is apparently chosen by the government, but the qualities he is required to display are not those of leadership but those of finely judged outrage. For this reason the President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it.

[–]eks 58 points59 points ago

Some people say these "lizards" are also psychopathics.

Those best suited to rule, governments, corporations or any sort of "ruling", are those that do not care or want such a position.

[–]mmmmmmike 49 points50 points ago

Huzzah for Plato's Republic! Hit the nail on the head ~400BC...

[–]Anon_is_a_Meme 26 points27 points ago

Personally, I feel he got more wrong than right with that book. Still an interesting read, though.

[–]PericlesATX 15 points16 points ago

Plato wrote it as a thought experiment designed to make you think about these questions rather than presenting any definite conclusions or a specific political program. With that in mind, I'm curious what you think he got wrong.

[–]Anon_is_a_Meme 8 points9 points ago

Plato wrote it as a thought experiment designed to make you think about these questions rather than presenting any definite conclusions or a specific political program.

Point taken.

With that in mind, I'm curious what you think he got wrong.

Well the first thing that comes to mind is control over information. He/Socrates argued that censorship was good if it resulted in people developing the 'right' beliefs. It was argued that the ends justified the means, which meant that lies were okay. Children were to be essentially indoctrinated in the beliefs of the state, via religious literature.

[–]superiority 7 points8 points ago

Plato argued that power tended to corrupt rulers, and so ruling should be left to people like him. This is very funny when you think about it. But I'm not a fan of the society he describes in The Republic because I, you know, like freedom.

[–]recket 12 points13 points ago

"To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”

[–]chautemoc 197 points198 points ago

Mark Twain said something like, "The man fit to be president is the one that has to be dragged kicking and screaming to do it."

[–]Explosion_Jones 139 points140 points ago

"Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself,"

[–]Xorkrik 57 points58 points ago

If Pro is the opposite of Con. What is the opposite of Progress ?

[–]eqisow 74 points75 points ago

Regress? I don't get it.

[–]clausy 163 points164 points ago

Hello Senator

[–]solinent 138 points139 points ago

“Those who seek power are not worthy of that power.” - Plato

[–][deleted] 84 points85 points ago

"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men." - Acton

[–]eaturbrainz 93 points94 points ago

"Except Sam Vimes."

[–]CantWearHats 80 points81 points ago

Except His Grace the Duke of Anhk, Commander Sir Samuel Vimes.

[–]eaturbrainz 26 points27 points ago

Them's fighting words.

[–]transmogrified 25 points26 points ago

I always found it funny that from the pov of other characters (e.g., moist Von lipwig), vines came off as quite a bastard.

also, he never wanted power, he's basically the archetype of someone who really doesn't want to be in charge getting dragged into it by the patrician, who recognizes the truth to these quotes.

[–]OfMarginalBenefit 10 points11 points ago

Well, Von Lipwig was a criminal, so I think he might have kept a bias against watchmen. A leopard can't change his shorts.

[–]darkdarkdarkdark 6 points7 points ago

a bastard

but a fair bastard.

[–]DEFY_member 13 points14 points ago

"A great leader does not seek leadership, but has it thrust upon him"

-- Worf, quoting Kayless (surely spelled wrong though)

[–]Kaeltan 30 points31 points ago

"It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of sommbitch or another. Ain't about you, Jayne. It's about what they need."

[–]Yoshokatana 4 points5 points ago

I agree. Jayne for Prez, 2012! "That weird, man-ape-gone-wrong thing."

[–]Se7en_Up 56 points57 points ago

That reminds me of this Vonnegut quote: "There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don’t know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president."

[–]CaptainJeff 80 points81 points ago

So...Adams, Plato, Twain, and Vonnegut all said very similar things. I'm thinking anyone who believes this is in good company.

[–]Joke_Getter 167 points168 points ago

Yep, anyone who can make vague statements about the inadequacies of democracy is a fucking genius.

[–]Contradiction11 110 points111 points ago

Whenever I hear a politician talking, all I hear are vague statements. It's like someone is reading a political horoscope.

[–]DEFY_member 61 points62 points ago

Democracy is kind of bad.

-- Me, the genius.

[–]ex1stence 31 points32 points ago

They aren't just "vague statements", they're witty, curt, and playful assemblies of words that have a way of summing up a paragraph of arguments in a single seemingly effortless sentence.

Let's see you pull one off.

[–]Dabakus 19 points20 points ago

Plato's Republic.

[–]j8stereo 8 points9 points ago

The dialogue couldn't imagine the technological advances possible.

If a philosopher organ can be made, the kings become unnecessary.

[–]mRWafflesFTW 11 points12 points ago

I'm pretty sure that's one of 19 implanted space marine organs.

[–]j8stereo 10 points11 points ago

Can't you just extend this thought to say that the only one who would be "qualified " in this sense while in a position to excel at the job most would be one built for it?

A computer?

Yeah, this still leaves a fair method of building to be found, but seriously, AI lawyers.

Oh god, Terminator wasn't this bad.

[–]alexanderwales 25 points26 points ago

Alternately, we could decide who is President by lottery.

[–]Lightning14 15 points16 points ago

Athenian democracy worked this way. There would be a different head of the assembly each day. Only requirement was to be Athenian, male, and 35+

[–]PoundnColons 7 points8 points ago

Sometimes I think it's a good idea....and then other times it horrifies me. The government is supposed to mediate public opinion not reflect it. If we turn full democracy and the government directly reflects the majority we are in for a very horrendous authoritarian point in U.S history(more so than what we are already in)

[–]WarlordFred 19 points20 points ago

Isaac Asimov was pretty optimistic about computers running the world.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

It also follows that demarchy is a reasonable alternative to the (so called) democracy currently in place.

[–]richardroberts92 358 points359 points ago

Douglas Adams writes about an insane universe that is profoundly similar to ours...

So Long and Thanks For All the Fish is my favourite book of all time!

“This planet has -- or rather had -- a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”

[–]Anon_is_a_Meme 64 points65 points ago

I can't read quotes from Adams' work in anything other than Peter Jones' voice.

[–]AttackTribble 20 points21 points ago

Stephen Fry was a worthy successor to Peter Jones, IMHO. He conveyed the same attitude, but still made the part his own.

[–]richardroberts92 18 points19 points ago

Me too! The radio series was phenomenal!

[–]LordFunbag 9 points10 points ago

The music is so awesome.

[–]wellthoughtout 259 points260 points ago

Occupy Magrathea

[–]oneLumana 103 points104 points ago

1% of the universal populace is responsible for purchasing >99% of all custom-made luxury planets, while the rest of us are stuck on the planet we were born on.

[–]hwyrsdf 63 points64 points ago

[Arthur] ... No disrespect, but I gathered you were all dead.

[Slartibartfast] Dead? No, we have but slept for five million years. Nothing much seems to have changed.

[Arthur] Slept?

[Slartibartfast] Yes, through the economic recession.

[Arthur] Economic recession?

[Slartibartfast] Five million years ago, the Galactic economy collapsed, and seeing that custom-built planets are something of a luxury commodity ... You know we built planets?

[Arthur] Well, I had sort of gathered that.

[Slartibartfast] Fascinating trade. Doing the coastlines are always my favourite. Used to have endless fun doing all the little fiddly bits round fjords. Well, anyway, the recession came, and we thought it would save a lot of bother if we just slept through it. So we programmed the computers to revive us when it was all over. They were index-linked to the Galactic stock market prices, so that we'd all be revived when everybody else had rebuilt the economy enough to be able to afford our services.

[Arthur] Isn't that rather unethical?

[Slartibartfast] Is it? I'm a bit out of touch...

[–]lawfairy 14 points15 points ago

Tangent: I know a lot of HGTTG fans are lukewarm on the movie, but Bill Nighy fucking owns Slartibartfast. On this point there can be no disagreement.

[–]Vibster 37 points38 points ago*

But... we are on a planet that was constructed by the Magratheans.

[–]CaseyG 37 points38 points ago

But we don't own it.

[–]THLycanthrope 22 points23 points ago

In fact we are descended from the extraneous third of the population of another planet altogether. The ultimate question is forever beyond our reach as we've corrupted the program.

[–]CaseyG 34 points35 points ago

Good point. Technically we're squatters.

Occupy Earth!

[–]RangerSix 16 points17 points ago

Occupy the Vogsphere!

[–]dwemthy 17 points18 points ago

The Magratheans are in the 99%.
Occupy the solid gold planets built by Magrathea!

[–]Tall_bright_stranger 225 points226 points ago

His whole explanation of power in the series is so frighteningly correct - this was just one of many examples... his explanation of precidency is even better - on how the president has no real power, and his main purpose is to draw attention away from the real use of power.

Haven't read the books? Do it. It's seriously the funniest reading material ever. On so many occations I burst out in laughter publicly while reading those books.

[–]AmbitionOfPhilipJFry 25 points26 points ago

Quotes?

[–]Malkor 66 points67 points ago

  • President: full title President of the Imperial Galactic Government.

The term Imperial is kept though it is now an anachronism. The hereditary Emperor is nearly dead and has been so for many centuries. In the last moments of his dying coma he was locked in a statis field which keeps him in a state of perpetual unchangingness. All his heirs are now long dead, and this means that without any drastic political upheaval, power has simply and effectively moved a rung or two down the ladder, and is now seen to be vested in a body which used to act simply as advisers to the Emperor - an elected Governmental assembly headed by a President elected by that assembly. In fact it vests in no such place.

The President in particular is very much a figurehead - he wields no real power whatsoever. He is apparently chosen by the government, but the qualities he is required to display are not those of leadership but those of finely judged outrage. For this reason the President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it. On those criteria Zaphod Beeblebrox is one of the most successful Presidents the Galaxy has ever had - he has already spent two of his ten Presidential years in prison for fraud. Very very few people realize that the President and the Government have virtually no power at all, and of these very few people only six know whence ultimate political power is wielded. Most of the others secretly believe that the ultimate decision-making process is handled by a computer. They couldn't be more wrong.

[–]Tall_bright_stranger 8 points9 points ago

That's the one.

[–]MoronDude 358 points359 points ago

"He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which."

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife."

"Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner."

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."

"In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri."

"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."

"It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear."

"Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast."

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

"You live and learn. At any rate, you live."

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."

"The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79."

"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."

"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws."

"Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of."

"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair."

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."

"Space is big. I mean really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."

"Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. Anything that’s invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty- five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you’re thirty-five is against the natural order of things."

Is that enough, because there's more. You should probably just read the books.

[–][deleted] 124 points125 points ago

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."

My personal favorite Adam's quote.

[–]Tall_bright_stranger 13 points14 points ago*

Did you read the commisioned part 6: "And Another Thing" - an ending to the series written by Eoin Colfer? Because if you hadn't looked on the cover you could easily be fooled into thinking, Douglas wrote it himself, with one very important exception... ' The deeper meaning is gone in the last book. The characters and the mood are very much the same, but it holds no hidden clues at a political orientation...

[–]HomerTron 11 points12 points ago

I did. And I liked it, but it doesn't compare to Douglas's universe. Plus the characters were just so vulgar.

I wouldn't mind if Colfer continued it on, and I think it was a novel personal tribute to Adams, but there is no comparison.

[–]Anon_is_a_Meme 68 points69 points ago

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

That's beautiful.

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

Interestingly, Adams' often suffered from severe writers block (or perhaps more accurately, a pathological avoidance of committing pen to paper). The only way his publisher could get him to work to a deadline was to lock him in a hotel room and only let him out when he'd finished. His favoured distractions were long baths and cups of tea.

[–]Tayto2000 35 points36 points ago

a pathological avoidance of committing pen to paper

I can relate to that

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points ago

We all can. We're on Reddit.

[–]wonko11 59 points60 points ago

"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."

[–]deep_pants_mcgee 23 points24 points ago

My favorite:

This planet has—or rather had—a problem, which was this: most of the people on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.

[–]KeScoBo 14 points15 points ago

My favorite:

The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for there are many, a sizeable proportion of which are continually clogging up the civil, commercial, and criminal courts in all areas of the Galaxy, and especially, where possible, the more corrupt ones, this. The previous sentence makes sense. That is not the problem.

This is:

Change.

Read it through again and you'll get it.

[–]JoyOfLife 16 points17 points ago

"Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. Anything that’s invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty- five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you’re thirty-five is against the natural order of things."

So true

[–]LordFunbag 34 points35 points ago

You had 43 points. Sorry, had to downvote you. Great quotes!

[–]Jebryath 56 points57 points ago

Probably my favorite bit from the first five minutes was:

"But Mr Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine months."

"Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them, had you? I mean, like actually telling anybody or anything."

"But the plans were on display ..."

"On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them."

"That's the display department."

"With a flashlight."

"Ah, well the lights had probably gone."

"So had the stairs."

"But look, you found the notice didn't you?"

"Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard'."

[–]PhileasFuckingFogg 13 points14 points ago

[–]Rikkety 11 points12 points ago

Just start on page 1 and you'll have a whole bunch soon enough.

[–]SOPAlert 24 points25 points ago

Under USC 17 Section 501, this quote could be considered copyright infringement. Even though USC 17 Section 107 would most likely classify this as fair use, imagine the deluge of complaints against Reddit that could transpire if SOPA is passed. Under immense pressures from the government, Reddit would become a shadow of what it is now. Do you want this to happen?

[–]sonickarma 100 points101 points ago

My favorite Douglas Adams quote of all time:

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"

[–]metaphorever 15 points16 points ago

[–]NULLACCOUNT 27 points28 points ago

[–]NuM3R1K 10 points11 points ago

Well, he never denied it so it leaves the possibility open.

[–]ttruth1 114 points115 points ago

Pretty much perfect.

[–]madben 220 points221 points ago

prefect

[–]Unerlion 222 points223 points ago

what?

EDIT: OH MY GOD. I've been saying "Ford Perfect" and reading it as such for over 10 years, and only now do I discover my mistake.

[–]tashinorbo 30 points31 points ago

thats the joke of his name. He picked something his research showed as a super common name, the Ford Prefect (a car).

[–]MaurusMahrntahn 12 points13 points ago

Because I'm too young to fully get the joke, I always try to think of it like this - imagine if an alien had come to our planet and named himself "Honda Civic" because he thought it was a very common name. Ford Prefect is that, except it's a car from the 70s.

EDIT: Actually, I realize this is kind of wrong. Still, I like the idea of a person naming him/herself "Honda Civic." :P

[–]oh-my-dog 19 points20 points ago

yep it's not perfect, it's a prefect

[–]Zorba_02 13 points14 points ago

Being a 13 year old American when I first read the Guide, I had no idea this existed. This is a life-changing moment for me. Thank you, internet stranger.

[–]ttruth1 64 points65 points ago

If you'd only had watched the tv show! Which, in my humble opinion, was superior in every way to the movie.

[–]spainguy 75 points76 points ago

It's nothing compared to the original radio series

[–]Ivan_Idea 222 points223 points ago

I have the smoke-signal version on reel-to-reel.

[–]GDIsteve 81 points82 points ago

If you think that's good you should see the hieroglyphs.

[–]Sabin10 66 points67 points ago

I prefer the orignal cave paintings.

[–]Redhawktech 80 points81 points ago

The paintings don't compare to the oral story telling by the village elder imo.

[–]mweathr 65 points66 points ago

The village elder's telling has nothing on the medicine man's interpretive dance version.

[–]dvddesign 27 points28 points ago

I'm surprised no one's bothered to repurpose the book into tablet form. It's pretty much been universally shown in TV and film to be a tablet computing device and now we have them in abundance.

At least someone's nailed it.

[–]ThePegasi 12 points13 points ago

Hipster moment, but agreed. It was a radio show before it was a book or TV series, and I still it's the best version.

The movie was an abomination, and to this day I still think they missed a trick in not casting David Mitchell as Arthur.

[–]drzorcon 5 points6 points ago

To me, Dudley Moore will always be Arthur.

[–]Rikkety 11 points12 points ago

I actually think the movie is quite enjoyable. Fair enough, it's not as brilliant as the book (or the radio show) but worth to watch nonetheless.

Admittedly, David Mitchel as Arthur would have been awesome, but they made up for it by casting Zooey Deschanel as Trillian.

[–]Thimm 7 points8 points ago

That may be, but the video game is available to play online in all of its original texty glory (now with pictures!). I've never gotten very far personally.

[–]rokkitgurl 8 points9 points ago

I actually pretend there was no movie and just the radio and tv shows exist...

[–]teethmarksontheskin 27 points28 points ago

Oh god, I agree... The only good part about the movie was Zooey Deschanel's butt in those blue pants..

[–]thehero29 17 points18 points ago

I agree. But I also thought Martin Freeman was a perfect Arthur Dent. But the writing and direction were severely lacking

[–]RangerSix 19 points20 points ago

...You do realize that the script was written by the late Douglas Adams, right?

[–]MissCrystal 12 points13 points ago

Thanks for this. Douglas Adams rewrote that story every single time that he was asked to edit it for a new medium. He was never happy with it. He changed it over and over. Was the movie perfect? Nope. Was it fun and in the right spirit? Absolutely.

[–]ttruth1 14 points15 points ago

A shout out for Zooey's arse!

[–]beaudonkin 5 points6 points ago

Loved the show. When I read the books now I always picture these guys in my mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWWiDKKWDQw

[–]reddit_user13 10 points11 points ago

Frod Perfect.

[–]LeoPanthera 18 points19 points ago

The Ford Prefect was a British car. The joke was that he had misunderstood the dominant species on the planet when choosing his name.

[–]Mange-Tout 6 points7 points ago

Oh my dog... I've read the Hitchhiker's Guide a dozen times and I can't believe I didn't know this! Being an American I've never heard of a Ford Prefect. I just thought that the character Ford Prefect was really bad at judging alien cultures and choosing names.

[–]bangonthedrums 10 points11 points ago

Well, to be fair, he is

[–]Cartosys 47 points48 points ago

You gotta realize the reptillian agenda is a rather widely popular conspiracy theory

[–]bluedays 18 points19 points ago

I was thinking of David Icke when I read this post.

[–]tjblue 20 points21 points ago

How did he know?

[–]WurzelGummidge 34 points35 points ago

Becuase nothing much has changed since he wrote it, it's just gone further downhill

[–]aspiringvoiceactor 23 points24 points ago

"Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. Anything that’s invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty- five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you’re thirty-five is against the natural order of things."

[–]ttruth1 61 points62 points ago

He knew the answer to life, the universe and everything

[–]gigglefarting 22 points23 points ago

That may be the case, but he doesn't even know the question.

[–]skewp 24 points25 points ago

NOTHING IS NEW, EVERYTHING IS OLD.

However divisive you think politics are now, they were just as divisive or more divisive in the past. However much of a snake you think our politicians are now, they were equal or worse in the past. The world existed before you were born, and human nature really hasn't changed at all in 10,000 years.

[–][deleted] ago

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[–]Semilogical 38 points39 points ago

David Icke actually believes that there are real lizard people in top government, corporations, and royal families. He is a nut job. Douglas Adams was brilliant.

[–]kidnees 26 points27 points ago

Douglas Adams also knows about the reptilians, but he puts it in a way part of your mind will accept.

[–]boneheaddigger 13 points14 points ago

I really have to wonder if he truly believes, or he was just fucking around and wrote some wild story that caught on, to which he realized he could cash in on it. Wouldn't surprise me in the least...

[–]go_fly_a_kite 12 points13 points ago*

david icke basically caught on to the open conspiracy and proceded to document many angles of conspiracy within in. There's a certain point down that rabbit hole when you have to pick a root of conjecture and someone came to him with the Lizard theory- which he ran with. All conspiracy theorists agree on the large points- Planned economy leads to first world police state, one world government through harmonization, rule by the oligarchs (bankers, royalty and technocrats), pyramid of power. Its the post conjecture stuff that gets crazy- satanic bloodlines and ritual, ufos and aliens.

As someone who loves to be informed on all perspectives, i would really advocate reading David Icke's stuff- even if just considering it science/historical fiction. Some really interesting stuff in there.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

there was an AMA about a guy whose wife very suddenly started to believe in this nonsense. at first i couldn't believe it. then i googled David Icke.

[–]Sec_Henry_Paulson 9 points10 points ago

You want a trip, listen to coast-to-coast am. It's call in talk radio that's actually broadcast all over the US.

You won't believe the shit that these people say.

[–]Mettesc 6 points7 points ago

The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the letter Q into a privet bush, but unfortunately there are times when it is unavoidable. - I am absolutely convinced that this piece of advice will come in handy at some point in my life, I'm just waiting..

[–]bobloblaw11 8 points9 points ago

Listen, bud, if I had one Altairian dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say “That’s terrible” I wouldn’t be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]sushi_cw 7 points8 points ago

Also from DA:

The major problem — one of the major problems, for there are several — one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them. To summarize: it is a well known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

[–]deuteros 4 points5 points ago

Democracy is given almost religious deference in the West but in reality it encourages extreme shortsightedness in the government and just gives the voting public a false sense of control.

Democracy is something of an aberration in human history. It usually has a golden age of a few centuries before collapsing into some sort of autocracy. I think overall humans actually prefer monarchy, with a ruler that is strong enough to destroy enemies yet compassionate enough to treat his subjects like his children.

[–]Fuego_Fiero 5 points6 points ago

My favorite quote by DA:

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"

Pretty much sums ups my views on spirituality.

[–]Jimmy_Nertron 6 points7 points ago

"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a great many people angry and is generally regarded as a bad idea."

[–]theillway 22 points23 points ago

Douglas*

[–]Randolpho 18 points19 points ago

OP just typed ass out of muscle memory.

We're all guilty ass sin of it.

[–]recket 12 points13 points ago

Adams is great! Here's another good one: "This planet has — or rather had — a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy."

[–]smika 32 points33 points ago

This discussion seems to have devolved into a bunch of high-fiving, so I'm not sure if any dissenting views will even be tolerated. Nevertheless, I'll give it a go.

While Adams's analogy is clever, it's a lot more cynical than reality. It's quite easy to say that all political parties are equally bad or that all politicians are a bunch of slimy reptiles, but if you actually look at the course of history, you'll find that the choice of party that voters make does matter.

Why does everyone here always think Europe is so much better than the U.S.? They vote for their leaders just like (well sort of) we do. The difference is that the European population is on the balance more progressive than the U.S., and as a result their governments are more progressive. Hence, their countries have well-run government healthcare and other social services -- at the cost, of course, of higher taxes.

This is just one example. There are countless other differences that can be attributed to the people in charge. For example, I have yet to hear a compelling argument that we would have launched a military invasion of Iraq had Al Gore been President. It might not make much of a difference to you sitting comfortably in front of your computer, but I can bet it would have made a difference to about 400,000 dead Iraqis (to be fair, it also makes a difference to the millions of Iraqis who no longer live under Saddam Hussein's rule, for better or worse).

I'll be the first to admit that our government and two party system is a piece of fucking garbage that needs to be repaired ASAP (How? I don't know. Good question). But just because it's a dysfunctional piece of shit that doesn't mean the choice we exercise at the polls doesn't make a difference. It makes a big difference to a lot of people. It doesn't make nearly enough of a difference on many, many vitally important issues, but it still matters.

Anyhow, see this rant not as a defense of the status quo but more as a caution against unthinking cynicism.

[–]yaztheblack 15 points16 points ago

I kinda agree with both Mr Adams and yourself. You're right that some leaders are better than others, but I think you're taking his analogy too far, in that I took his point to mean that people are distracted and fooled by the facade presented them and the necessity to pick the best of the evils/lizards/politicians, and thus don't think about reforming the system / gettin rid of the lizards.

That said, it's still a simplified view; choosing the best option with things as they are is less likely to kill you or uproot your life than the actions needed to make a more fundamental change, and power corrupts, so it's likely that your change wouldn't be much better, and could well be worse, depending on where you start and who you end up with.

[–]Neocrasher 7 points8 points ago

So... What about the shoe event horizon?

[–]mori80 8 points9 points ago

Yes!


Many years ago this was a thriving, happy planet - people, cities, shops, a normal world. Except that on the high streets of these cities there were slightly more shoe shops than one might have thought necessary. And slowly, insidiously, the number of the shoe shops were increasing. It's a well-known economic phenomenon but tragic to see it in operation, for the more shoe shops there were, the more shoes they had to make and the worse and more unwearable they became. And the worse they were to wear, the more people had to buy to keep themselves shod, and the more the shops proliferated, until the whole economy of the place passed what I believe is termed the Shoe Event Horizon, and it became no longer economically possible to build anything other than shoe shops. Result - collapse, ruin and famine. Most of the population died out. Those few who had the right kind of genetic instability mutated into birds who cursed their feet, cursed the ground and vowed that no one should walk on it again.

[–]lurker69 7 points8 points ago

Didn't see this one:

"A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

[–]pgibso 6 points7 points ago

One of my favorite quotes of all time, "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.' - Hitchhikers

[–]drgk 19 points20 points ago

My dad died in March 2001 and Douglas Adams died in May 2001. That was a rough fucking year for me.

[–]JonathanDoe 48 points49 points ago

Thank goodness things lightened up in September, eh?

[–]drgk 11 points12 points ago

Looking back, that may have colored my perceptions of 9/11. To say I was a bit numb when it happened is a bit of an understatement.

[–]Rommel79 9 points10 points ago

This is sadly accurate. I know MANY people who voted for/against President Obama just because they didn't want a Republican/Democrat in office. Many of them had no idea what the guy the voted for's actual opinions and plans were, just that the other side was bad.

[–]animalia_ 3 points4 points ago

rip thanks for all the fish

[–]Mofeux 4 points5 points ago

Adams had such an incredibly honest view of the world, what a marvelous human being.

Also, thank you for not posting this as text on a picture.