A little boy develops a penchant for trains. He absolutely loves them. He acquires tons of model trains and toy trains and constantly plays with them. His greatest aspiration is to become a train conductor.

He grows up and as he does so he constantly rides the train whenever he can. If he can find an excuse for taking the train, he does so and takes the train.

He studies trains and learns how they operate, all sorts -- steam, diesel, bullet trains -- he knows it all. Eventually he gets his certification and becomes a train conductor, and it's the happiest day of his life.

His first position is as conductor on none other than the Japanese Shinkansen. He is the best conductor the railway has ever seen and his train never runs late. But he has one problem: he hates the Japanese. One day he sees a Japanese man on the tracks, and although there is little he can do to avoid the man anyway, he actually speeds up and deliberately kills the man. He is apprehended for his malicious intent and fail to stop after obliterating the man and appears before a judge.

The man is found guilty and the judge sentences him to death. Before the sentence is carried out, the Judge asks the man if he has any last requests.

The man says, "I would like a grape, please."

A grape is furnished and the man eats it. He resigns himself to his sentence and sits down in the electric chair. The power is fired and the chair fizzles out; the man is unharmed.

Astonished, the judge orders the chair to be fixed and the execution to be carried out once again, but again, the chair fails to kill the man, who is then let go.

The man takes on a new job as a train conductor in the American Midwest moving freight. Again, he is clearly a skilled conductor and is easily the most efficient of all the other operators in the region. He never misses a deadline. But, problematically, he hates cows.

One day he sees a cow on the tracks and cannot help himself. He speeds up the freight train and plows over the cow, reveling in the slaughter. Unfortunately for him, it is illegal to treat cows in such a way and so he is apprehended yet again.

He is found guilty before the same judge who tried him after the incident in Japan. The judge again asks him for a final request.

The man says, "I would like a grape, please."

A grape is furnished and the man eats it. He resigns himself to his sentence and sits down in the electric chair. The power is fired and the chair fizzles out; the man is unharmed.

The judge cannot believe it. He orders, again, for the chair to be inspected and repaired and the execution to be attempted again, and it still fails. Exasperated, the judge lets the man walk free again.

Now the man is having difficulty finding work. In the end, the best job he can find is as a train conductor for a scale model train in a mall giving rides to children. He is undoubtedly the best scale model train operator ever seen by this mall or any. His rides are always thrilling and delightful for the children.

Unfortunately, this man has a problem: he hates children.

One day a small child is on the tracks and the man cannot help himself. He throttles the scale model engine up to top speed and hits the small child, causing minor injuries. This behavior is, of course, reprehensible, and the man is again apprehended.

Naturally, he is tried before the same judge, found guilty, and sentenced to death. The judge asks him if he has a final request once more.

he man says, "I would like a grape, please."

A grape is furnished and the man eats it. He resigns himself to his sentence and sits down in the electric chair. The power is fired and the chair fizzles out; the man is unharmed.

This time the judge does not order the execution to be attempted once more. He firmly believes this man is not meant to die. Instead, he offers the man future immunity on all charges.

"Before you go," says the judge, "I have one question. Why did you always request a grape before your execution? Is that your secret to surviving the chair?"

"Oh, that?" says the man, "I asked for grapes because I like grapes."

"Then why didn't the chair work?" inquires the judge.

"I don't know, I guess I'm just a bad conductor."