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MY GIRLFRIEND (MY GIRLFRIEND IS AN ART STUDENT BTW) MY GIRLFRIEND WENT AWAY FOR THE SUMMER AND MY GIRLFRIEND CAME HOME WITH THIS TATTOO, MY GIRLFRIEND, I DON'T EVEN.... (self.circlejerk)

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GIRLFRIEND

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[–]Tecktonik 57 points58 points ago

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I am a hipster and I hate tattoos. That is why I have a tattoo of an ironic t-shirt tattooed to my torso, and I wear an ironic t-shirt to hide it.

[–]codman 18 points19 points ago

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oh the irony.

[–]Tecktonik 8 points9 points ago

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I know!

[–]specialk16 1 point2 points ago

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It's like rain on an otherwise sunny day.

[–]Timelines 1 point2 points ago

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It's like pedobear touching old people. With his good natured banter.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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I wear an ironed t-shirt under my ironic t-shirt.

[–]zerstoeren 5 points6 points ago

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DUDE YOU SHOULD MAKE AN INFOGRAPHIC OUT OF THIS LOL!!!! I WOULD SO SHARE IT ON FACEBOOK, BRO AND ADD A WITTY COMMENT SO ALL MY FREIDNS CAN BE LIKE, WOAH, THAT BRO IS DEEP

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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She's having sex with someone else.

[–]ThisIsYourPenis 24 points25 points ago

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YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE DISCREET.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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It wasn't me, I have a girlfriend, and a wife, and another girlfriend.

Did I mention my girlfriend?

[–]OverlordXenu 4 points5 points ago

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Which one?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago* 

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At this stage someone should post a whine about how they're a virgin and it's everyone else's fault, especially women.

[–]OverlordXenu 11 points12 points ago

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Fucking women only go out with douchebags. I mean, I follow this girl around, listen to her constantly, take her out for coffee and she just wants to be friends! What bullshit, not even a handjob? It's not like I do this shit because I want to be her friend!

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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Oh no sir, I'm not a douchebag, I don't even get jealous when my girlfriend, any of them, fucks other guys.

I'm in an open relationship you see, and I could have sex with other women any time I wanted to, if I chose to that is, which I would, but I'm too busy.

My advice is agree with everything she says, maybe pretend to be gay so you can get close to her and she won't mind you seeing her tits, and when she's used to the idea of being in the nip around you, tell her you think she can change you and that you think that you should go from friends to more than friends. And make sure you devalue all other men that have the confidence to be open and truthful by calling them arrogant, assholes, douchebags, anything to make normal people undesirable in her eyes.

Also, tell her you don't mind fat chicks. Even though it's a lie.

Can you do an AMA?

[–]OverlordXenu 5 points6 points ago

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IAmA Petty Pathetic Misogynist: AMA

[–]ThisIsYourPenis 0 points1 point ago

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And?

[–]OverlordXenu 1 point2 points ago

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That isn't a question.

[–]ThisIsYourPenis 3 points4 points ago

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DISCRETION?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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That's my wife, Charisma is my girlfriend.

One of many of them.

[–]ThisIsYourPenis 3 points4 points ago

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IF YOU RIDE MY KARMA UPVOTE ME BRO.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I ride your karma similarly to how I ride many women on a regular basis, having a girlfriend and all!

[–]ThisIsYourPenis 4 points5 points ago

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THEN I AM HONORED KIND SIR!

[–]BambooShampoo 17 points18 points ago

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I am a 7'10 and my gf has sex with me.

[–]penguinsarecooool 4 points5 points ago

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PLEASE DO AN AMA. I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS TO YOU, MAN. I WANT TO KNOW HOW BIG YOUR IS.

[–]lux_coepi 11 points12 points ago

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MY GIRLFRIEND THINKS I'M COOL. WE MAKE INTERCOURSE NIGHTLY. ALSO, SHE IS BISEXUAL AND HAS A TWIN SISTER

[–]Allisonaxe 5 points6 points ago

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if she has a twin sister, and your girlfriend has a headache, how do you know its not really her twin that's suckin' your little digg v4? :-o

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]BoxMacLeod 4 points5 points ago

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  • Michael Scott

[–]Allisonaxe 8 points9 points ago

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the art-school girlfriend with a tattoo of a freaky elephant thing, wears men's boxer shorts. thats how indie she is. rolls eyes (though you'd never know through the coke-bottle glasses that she doesn't need) Panties are so mainstream.

[–]w4ffl35 5 points6 points ago

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YOU GUYS HAVE GIRLFRIENDS TOO? WE SHOULD START A SUBREDDIT LOL!

[–]V2BlastYOUR MOTHER IS A WHORE 2 points3 points ago

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HEY GAIZ I MADE /R/GIRLFRIENDS YOU SHOULD ALL JOIN

[–]Kyderdog 10 points11 points ago

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Tattoos have been over for 5 years... only morons and porn stars get then now..

[–]ThisIsYourPenis 12 points13 points ago

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  • TRAILER TRASH TOO

[–]Allisonaxe 5 points6 points ago

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Electric Boogaloo.

[–]l2izwan 0 points1 point ago

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He means Henna Tattoos.

[–]Mel_Gibsons_baby 2 points3 points ago

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We get it, you have a girlfriend. Now show us some more pics. Oh and by the way, the caps lock button is the one above the left shift key.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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OMG THAT IS SO MUCH EASIER

[–]arche-type 3 points4 points ago

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Well played.

[–]ThisIsYourPenis 2 points3 points ago

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ART STUDENT EH? THAT QUALIFIES HER TO BE A CALL GIRL NOT JUST A CHEAP HOOKER.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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she should an AMA..

we already got the cheap hooker AMA

[–]ThisIsYourPenis 2 points3 points ago

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HOW MUCH FOR 3 EYED TURTLE?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Get an Estimate

[–]ThisIsYourPenis 1 point2 points ago

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$2,000 for anal.

[–]RobotBuddha 2 points3 points ago

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WON'T YOU LOOK AT HIS GIRLFRIEND?

[–]Allisonaxe 1 point2 points ago

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she's the only one he's got.

...ooh-ooh-ooh-aah!

[–]gtac 2 points3 points ago

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CLEVER GIRL

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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is anyone else annoyed when people don't recognize iconic and famous paintings 50 years after they were made, and are like "wtf?"? Take a fucking art history class.

[–]eggertm 2 points3 points ago

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What for? McDonalds isn't hiring people in the new economy!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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what?

[–]Sporkman 1 point2 points ago

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Upboated for the excellent art of the non-traditional girlfriend role that men play in non-traditional relationships. scoff.

[–]Wewento 1 point2 points ago

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whoooooooooo

[–]Joelk 1 point2 points ago

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Lol my girlfriend (My girlfriend is a grammar-nazi) didn't like your use of capital letters.

[–]jawston 0 points1 point ago

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It's like looking into a mirror.

[–]Necross 0 points1 point ago

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Well said. Well said.

[–]Hazzzzard 0 points1 point ago

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HEY, I have a girlfriend as well! HI FIVE!

[–]Atman00 -4 points-3 points ago

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Y'know, someone casually mentioning their girlfriend when they're telling a story? Not actually trying to brag or rub in in your face.

People that take it that way are just oversensitive about their own lack of a girlfriend.

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