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I just found out my grampa is a redditor. WTF I don't even... (self.WTF)

submitted ago* by wordsauce

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seriously I don't know WTF to think. too many questions...

edit: WTF he was reddior of the day? I didn't even know we had that.

edit: OMG

edit: OH MY GIDDY GOD he always has to talk about mayonnaise. jesus christ

I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS

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[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]rsenic 373 points374 points ago

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A+++++ trolling would get trolled again

[–]larus_marinus 52 points53 points ago

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i wish we did this for all the trolls and fake shit on the frontpage, but alas, they are all not so easily revealed for what they really are.

do you think the old spice guy is here because he likes us?

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    [–][deleted] ago

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    [deleted]

    [–]ohnoahhedidnt 78 points79 points ago

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    I agree its a bummer. I really think reddit deserves to know the truth about wiggly.

    [–]NotClever 34 points35 points ago

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    I guess at least it was entertaining while it lasted. And he had some pretty good writing there.

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      [–]lizardlike 36 points37 points ago

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      Troll or not, the guy definitely provided me with some great laughs today. Not a total loss.

      [–]nellonoma 44 points45 points ago

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      YES this is the first thing that popped into my mind when i saw all this. got anymore evidence to call him out on this?

      *edit: that video was uploaded in '07. anything more recent?

      [–]fox_in_flux 17 points18 points ago

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      I WANT TO BELIEVE

      [–]hooderick 23 points24 points ago

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      Or.... Maybe ohnoahhedidnt is the other twin, and is trying to destroy wordsauce and gramps, therefore HE IS THE EVIL TWIN!!! Oh nooooooo!!!

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        [–]Scrilla 95 points96 points ago*

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        Just check the META tags of the Megorious web archive

        <meta name="keywords" content="[XXXX XXXXXXX], [XXXX X. XXXXXXX], megorious,
megoriously, megoriousness, department of corrections, ubercrable,
inspecable, sauce, The Daily Sauce, Saucier, wordsauce, alliteration,
wordsmith, puns, Emerson College, Boston, LOL, wordplay, blarg, sofa king,
blog, freak of the week, Batman, mayonnaise, mediaper, Grandpa Wiggly,
Grandma Nubb, Uncle Shakey, TED, glossaryan" />

        Funny how the archive has [XXXX XXXXXXX], Mayonnaise and Grandpa Wiggly AND wordsauce in the keywords?

        EDIT: Removed wordsauce's real name from the keywords at threat of being banned for revealing personal information. If Batman, TED, and mayonnaise are considered personal information then I guess I should be banned.

        [–]bodaboda 28 points29 points ago*

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        ubercrable is another account, apparently [NAME REMOVED ON REQUEST] was also in a coma for sixteen months.

        [–]ZamboniPalin 17 points18 points ago

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        Will Mr. Saucier get the Saydrah treatment... tune in tomorrow for all the exciting details.

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          [–]QuitYoJibbaJabba 210 points211 points ago

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          all your grampa are belong to us!

          [–]eroverton 39 points40 points ago

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          +1 for insanely appropriate usage. :D

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            [–]faultydesign 192 points193 points ago

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            - Wordsauce, I am your grandpa.

            - NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

            [–][deleted] 147 points148 points ago

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            Oh hey, I don't know if you noticed, but he runs his own subreddit

            http://www.reddit.com/r/mayonnaise/

            [–]rarebit13 64 points65 points ago

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            Don't forget http://www.reddit.com/r/eroticmayonnaise

            [–]Niqulaz 52 points53 points ago

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            What is this? I don't even....

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              [–]dus7y 6 points7 points ago

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              Guess he really enjoys his mayonnaise.

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                [–]dblaisde 145 points146 points ago

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                I my case, age 63, my 27 y.o. son turned me on to Reddit. I've got 5800 karma points!

                [–]anonymoussavior 299 points300 points ago

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                You have the greatest grandpa of all time.

                [–]whodat_xo 329 points330 points ago

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                omg. this is amazing, i love grandpawiggly!

                [–]gunner0101 14 points15 points ago

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                another reason why we love grandpawiggly http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/coxqq/how_did_you_meet_your_significant_other/c0u5r8l?context=3

                [–]wordsauce[S] 294 points295 points ago

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                WTF do you mean you love grandpawiggly? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? How long has this been going on?
                I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

                [–][deleted] ago

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                [deleted]

                [–]grandpawiggly 411 points412 points ago

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                Karmanaut! Here, have some karma.

                [–]karmanaut 251 points252 points ago

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                Why, thank you. I gather karma the way you make mayonnaise.

                Hope you don't mind me posting your twitter account; if you want to keep it private, I can edit it out of the comment.

                [–]grandpawiggly 115 points116 points ago

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                Not at all, the more the merrier!

                [–]avnerd 32 points33 points ago

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                We were very happy to have you as a redditor of the day! How are you grandpawiggly? and Effie? Has the heat abated any?

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                      [–][deleted] 37 points38 points ago

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                      I think I first remember him first from his AMA about the mayo biz a couple of months back, and all of his posts I've seen since then have been great.

                      [–]Keali 33 points34 points ago*

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                      grandpawiggly is the reason we can't have nice things.

                      grandpawiggly is awesome. If there was any way to mail hugs and slaps on the back his mailbox would be full to the brim and a couple of sacks would be waiting at the post office.

                      [–]theschmugest 67 points68 points ago

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                      Grandpawiggly is known around these parts! When I saw the title of your thread in my head I was thinking "PLEASE BE GRANDPAWIGGLY"

                      [–]grandpawiggly 42 points43 points ago

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                      Hello, theschmugest! Glad I could make your dream come true.

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                        [–]whodat_xo 58 points59 points ago

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                        hahah! he and i are actually friends on my other reddit account.

                        [–]wordsauce[S] 97 points98 points ago

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                        WORLDS ARE COLLIDING

                        I can't even comprehend. seriously...my...head...is...going...to...EXPLODE

                        [–]whodat_xo 119 points120 points ago

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                        BFFs

                        [–]grandpawiggly 40 points41 points ago

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                        I certainly hope not. No one should have to clean up your head goo. Go wait over the bathtub.

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                          [–]grandpawiggly 123 points124 points ago

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                          Where can one acquire said crazy pills?

                          [–][deleted] 56 points57 points ago

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                          Probably your own medicine cabinet. I know my grandma always has the good shit.

                          [–]grandpawiggly 156 points157 points ago

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                          She certainly does after her morning coffee and fiber.

                          [–][deleted] 38 points39 points ago

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                          If I was your grandson I would be mortified right now.

                          Meh, coffee and fiber makes me poop too.

                          [–][deleted] ago

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                          [deleted]

                          [–]WideLight 19 points20 points ago

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                          I haven't laughed this hard in weeks. I wish I had grandparents still :( I would make them call you to trade mayonnaise recipes.

                          As far as I'm concerned, grandpa, you are the reason the internet was invented. Well, you and porn of course.

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                            [–]bechus 8 points9 points ago

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                            I know a guy. I can hook you up.

                            [–]grandpawiggly 8 points9 points ago

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                            Thanks, bechus, I'll keep that in mind.

                            [–]supertard6779 21 points22 points ago

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                            grandpawiggly you are a cool dude.

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                                  [–]phirate 136 points137 points ago

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                                  Grandpawiggly is my favourite redditor. Hands down. You have an awesome grandpa.

                                  [–]wordsauce[S] 99 points100 points ago

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                                  thanks...? every time i blink my envelope is orangered with another person saying the same thing. this is pretty freaking surreal.

                                  [–]grandpawiggly 122 points123 points ago

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                                  It's all a dream!

                                  [–][deleted] ago

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                                  [deleted]

                                  [–]fluxus 12 points13 points ago

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                                  Salt 'n' Pepa and Heavy D up in the limousine.

                                  [–]ehplim 10 points11 points ago

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                                  Hangin pictures on ma wall.

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                                    [–]fedja 9 points10 points ago

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                                    I think I have a total of about 3 friended people on reddit and your grandpa is one of them. Awesome in a can with a side order of mayo.

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                                      [–]imwhatshesaid 157 points158 points ago

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                                      This has to be the most amazing thing I've ever seen on Reddit.

                                      [–]grandpawiggly 95 points96 points ago

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                                      After two years wordsauce finally makes it on the front page. He should retire!

                                      [–]wordsauce[S] 81 points82 points ago

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                                      second most amazing thing next to my GRAMPA BEING A REDDITOR. I'm still WTFing over here.

                                      [–]havespacesuit 99 points100 points ago

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                                      Not only is he a redditor, but I remember two of his big self-posts.

                                      I mean, jesus, how many front page posts has he had that I've missed?

                                      That you've missed?

                                      :D

                                      [–]wordsauce[S] 81 points82 points ago

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                                      he's been on the front page? HOW? this is some elaborate prank isn't it? where's ashton kutcher?

                                      [–]havespacesuit 40 points41 points ago

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                                      Several times.

                                      In fact, that blog post of his about the creepy little girl kitty picture and the words around it? Front Page

                                      I actually didn't know it was the same guy until someone here linked his blog website.

                                      [–]wordsauce[S] 75 points76 points ago

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                                      i still want to know how he got a website. i mean a blog i can understand but his own domain?? did someone on reddit help him? DOES CONDE NASTY OWN MY PAWPAW?

                                      [–]masklinn 83 points84 points ago

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                                      It's probably your twin who gave it to him. You know, the one who's nice to his pawpaw

                                      [–]LWRellim 13 points14 points ago

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                                      Yeah... the good twin.

                                      [–][deleted] ago

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                                      [deleted]

                                      [–]detestrian 28 points29 points ago

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                                      granddit

                                      -^

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                                        [–]grandpawiggly 52 points53 points ago

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                                        Conde Nast does not own me as far as I know. Maybe she can give you a better job.

                                        [–]wordsauce[S] 56 points57 points ago

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                                        of course this will probably make it to the front page b/c its about him. jesus christ.

                                        [–]grandpawiggly 98 points99 points ago

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                                        This is about Jesus Christ?

                                        [–]Loggie 20 points21 points ago

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                                        Why? Do you guys go way back?

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                                            [–]grandpawiggly 209 points210 points ago

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                                            If you haven't come across Ashton Kutcher yet then that probably means he's on Reddit.

                                            [–]detestrian 53 points54 points ago

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                                            I can tell Mr. Wiggly here is having a great morning.

                                            [–]realmadrid2727 30 points31 points ago

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                                            Dear God, wiggly, you burn harder than the Cornballer.

                                            [–]Yserbius 34 points35 points ago

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                                            I think that "burn" is the operative word over here.

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                                              [–]grandpawiggly 67 points68 points ago

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                                              I don't know the action verb WTFing. I'm OEDing it right now but I can't seem to find it.

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                                                [–]bagels666 56 points57 points ago

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                                                Dude, your grandpa said "Lawls."

                                                [–]wordsauce[S] 30 points31 points ago

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                                                i know that's not true. grampa would never say LAWLS or LOL or OMG or any other internet lingo. not his style.

                                                [–]Atlanticlantern 29 points30 points ago

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                                                THAT'S NOT TRUE! THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!

                                                Face it, Luke, he is your grandfather.

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                                                  [–]MRFOX43 42 points43 points ago

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                                                  WHAT - OLD PEOPLE CAN'T BE BRIGHT AND CLEVER AND HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR. I AM ALMOST 70 AND LOVE REDDIT

                                                  [–]xplosiv 91 points92 points ago

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                                                  Are you typing in caps because you're losing your hearing?

                                                  [–]frickindeal 9 points10 points ago

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                                                  SPEAK UP WHEN ADDRESSING MRFOX.

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                                                    [–]craftymethod 33 points34 points ago

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                                                    *owned

                                                    whats his username?

                                                    [–]wordsauce[S] 76 points77 points ago

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                                                    http://www.reddit.com/user/grandpawiggly/

                                                    this is how I found out

                                                    [–]Inappropriate_Remark 93 points94 points ago

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                                                    I'm dying over here from reading "PAW PAW?"

                                                    [–]bechus 89 points90 points ago

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                                                    The best part for me was:

                                                    I never got busted for having the party.

                                                    [–]grandpawiggly 112 points113 points ago

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                                                    That was my favorite part too, bechus.

                                                    [–]grandpawiggly 40 points41 points ago

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                                                    Too cute, isn't it, Appropriate_Remark?

                                                    [–]havespacesuit 34 points35 points ago

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                                                    WHAT DID YOU DO WITH ALL THE CATS?

                                                    no, really, when you had that clandestine party in his house, wtf happened to the cats? He has a valid question.

                                                    [–]wordsauce[S] 167 points168 points ago*

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                                                    we locked them out of the first floor and kept them on the second floor except for the morbidly obese mayonnaise who can DOES PORNO and sporty potbellies.

                                                    [–]grandpawiggly 128 points129 points ago

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                                                    When your gran hears about this... Someone's getting a nub in the face!

                                                    [–]goonsack 10 points11 points ago

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                                                    Someone's getting a nub in the face!

                                                    I don't mean to be crass, but do you mean to say that grandma wiggly is an amputee?

                                                    [–]havespacesuit 40 points41 points ago

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                                                    Hahahahaha. Oh god I remember that cat from the cat lady self-post. It is somehow in the closet. Again.

                                                    Also, super fast response.

                                                    [–]wordsauce[S] 107 points108 points ago

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                                                    creepiest. cat. ever. seriously i have never seen a beast so fat do so much. it can OPEN DOORS BY TURNING THE KNOB. that's not normal.

                                                    [–]grandpawiggly 177 points178 points ago

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                                                    How dare you speak ill of my Mayonnaise! Opening doors is a gift. No door can hold her. Most floors can't either!

                                                    [–]Murglewurms 38 points39 points ago

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                                                    Oh god stop it! You're making me laugh out loud while I'm backstage running corporate live events! You sir, are awesome.

                                                    Falling asleep at the console on the job? No problem! Apply some Grandpa Wiggly, and watch the zzz's disappear! Sideeffects include a temporary inability to control the volume of your voice and a loss of concentration at the task at hand.

                                                    Cheers Grandpa Wiggly! May your eyes never dull!

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                                                      [–]havespacesuit 35 points36 points ago

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                                                      I am laughing out loud, jesus.

                                                      There was this one episode of "Eerie Indiana" a truly terrible and awesome kids show I watched as a kid on some channel like nickelodeon. It focused on weird shit that went down in Indiana, the only state that doesn't allow daylight-savings time (according to the show).

                                                      Anyway, in this one episode the dog uprising begins and the dogs contact the main character telepathically and make a deal with him: something like they wont kill him if he will unlock "the secret to the doorknobs." Apparently these dogs have been scheming on how to open doorknobs, and it is the only thing between them and dominion over man.

                                                      So, this kid is in the pound and every single cage door has a doorknob on it. So he opens up all the cage doors and the dogs go fucking crazy.

                                                      I don't remember what happened to the kid. I assume he survived.

                                                      [–]grandpawiggly 23 points24 points ago

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                                                      I'm having a good time too, havespacesuit.

                                                      [–]wordsauce[S] 34 points35 points ago

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                                                      it was on NBC Sunday nights. i loved that show. i remember that episode vividly. seriously that cat is a true phantom menace. its like a fat ghost roaming around the house opening doors and stealing your food.

                                                      [–]grandpawiggly 65 points66 points ago

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                                                      Don't compare my precious Mayonnaise to a terrible movie!

                                                      [–]d07c0m 13 points14 points ago

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                                                      Wow, hating on Episode 1. You are a true redditor.

                                                      [–]havespacesuit 15 points16 points ago*

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                                                      Holy shit, you remember that episode? /mind blown

                                                      Next you'll be telling me you enjoy a nice rerun of Candle Cove every now and again.

                                                      Yeah, that sounds like an awesome cat. I want a cat who can surprise me in the towel closet as I go for my morning shower. Or who will wake me up whispering in my ear about the fall of man. Either/or.

                                                      [–]wordsauce[S] 22 points23 points ago

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                                                      now that I don't remember.

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                                                            [–]grandpawiggly 23 points24 points ago

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                                                            This isn't one of those things you brag about.

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                                                              [–]FormerSlacker 34 points35 points ago

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                                                              Be proud! I specifically remember reading that mayonnaise post and thinking "this dude is awesome!"

                                                              [–]wordsauce[S] 34 points35 points ago

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                                                              this has both turned my world upside down and made my millenium.

                                                              [–]grandpawiggly 76 points77 points ago

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                                                              The next 990 years are going to be pretty tame for you, I'm afraid.

                                                              [–]huevosrameros 50 points51 points ago

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                                                              your grandpa is my favorite redditor!

                                                              :)

                                                              [–]wordsauce[S] 53 points54 points ago

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                                                              AND ANOTHER.

                                                              [–]grandpawiggly 189 points190 points ago

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                                                              TYPING IN ALL CAPS GETS YOUR POINT ACROSS

                                                              [–]GrammarBeImportant 39 points40 points ago

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                                                              I think he just finally started taking some of your lessons to heart. Since he's been leaving caps out of ever comment so far, he's decided to throw a whole bunch into one post.

                                                              [–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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                                                              Hahah, this is not becoming less hilarious.

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                                                                  [–]Carmac 59 points60 points ago

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                                                                  Odd, I can't get my kids here yet, let alone grand kids. I have to stalk them on LiveJournal and Facebook. I'm a failure.

                                                                  [–]wordsauce[S] 105 points106 points ago

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                                                                  he's had a livejournal for years. i thought he was contained.

                                                                  [–]grandpawiggly 144 points145 points ago

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                                                                  Contained? What am I, a wooly bully?

                                                                  [–]fliptonic 37 points38 points ago

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                                                                  OMG WHAT IS HIS LIVEJOURNAL!?!!

                                                                  [–]wordsauce[S] 63 points64 points ago

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                                                                  OMG i do not even want to talk about livejournal and the drama it brought on our family. he had to make it friends only a few years ago after some FAT fuck glutton went insane and started stalking him. god i forgot about that. funny thing is it was kinda my fault.

                                                                  [–]fliptonic 21 points22 points ago

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                                                                  Whoa, stalkin', not cool.

                                                                  Did you report that guy? Reporting the matter is always a good bet, wait, nvm that reporting it might reveal way too much about you/your grandpa.

                                                                  [–]wordsauce[S] 65 points66 points ago

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                                                                  It was some morbidly obese guy grampa met at a hotdog eating contest or something. He was like really into mayonnaise more than grampa if you can believe that. They became friends and talked on livejournal. Grampa wasn't nearly as computer savvy back then as he apparently is now. There was an incident involving grampa borrowing his digital camera which I then snatched to take uhhh special pictures with my girlfriend. when we were looking through the pics we came across one of this morbidly obese dude NAKED AT HIS COMPUTER. So we did what anybody would do. we put it online. It became pretty popular. Once the fat dude found out he went nuts and blamed grampa.

                                                                  livejournal ain't nothing but drama

                                                                  [–]latermuse 110 points111 points ago

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                                                                  It wasnt this picture was it?

                                                                  [–]Deadlysherpa 64 points65 points ago

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                                                                  please let it be this picture

                                                                  [–]Setiri 36 points37 points ago

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                                                                  Oh seriously, PLEASE let it be that picture! lol

                                                                  [–]height 14 points15 points ago

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                                                                  I can't wait any longer, I have to know! It's been 3 hours since latermuse posted that link, come on already!

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                                                                    [–]TheFunkyMonk 28 points29 points ago

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                                                                    If that is the picture, my internet is being turned upside fucking down.

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                                                                      [–]ofsinope 69 points70 points ago

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                                                                      WTF, the Wiggly family owns the Internet

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                                                                        [–]withnailandI 21 points22 points ago

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                                                                        I just laughed so hard at this I farted.

                                                                        [–]freireib 17 points18 points ago

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                                                                        So you borrowed a borrowed camera from your grandpa to take special pictures of you and your girlfriend. And then you posted pictures that were not yours on the Internet and somehow the ensuing drama is because of livejournal?

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                                                                              [–]aDildoAteMyBaby 31 points32 points ago

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                                                                              Motion picture bookends: Citizen Kane and The Dark Knight – two very different films with ultimately the same message: Desperation pushes men to act in self-destructive and chaotic ways. For better or worse, we never end up being the person we thought/hoped/prayed/aspired we would become. And that’s OK with everyone except for us. The similarities between these two films are quite remarkable. You can’t control chaos anymore than you can control order. The Dark Knight is about controlling chaos; Citizen Kane is about controlling order. Both lead to chaos. Citizen Kane is where we’ve been. The Dark Knight is where we’re headed.

                                                                              Dude.

                                                                              [–]sensory 37 points38 points ago

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                                                                              He's not just your grampa any more; he's Reddit's grampa.

                                                                              Be prepared to share.

                                                                              [–]tehhomewrecker 55 points56 points ago

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                                                                              I can't upvote this hard enough.

                                                                              [–]wordsauce[S] 65 points66 points ago

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                                                                              it doesn't matter how hard you upvote. his karma is intimidating compared to mine. any moment now i expect to wake up. WAKE UP!

                                                                              [–]grandpawiggly 137 points138 points ago

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                                                                              Yes, I'm astonished one could acquire so little karma in two years. What have you been doing?

                                                                              [–]snowball666 73 points74 points ago

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                                                                              Every family has a black sheep.

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                                                                                [–]tehhomewrecker 16 points17 points ago

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                                                                                That's your grandpa, man. Who ever would have thought the man who had a part in creating the loin fruit you call a parent would be cooler than you on reddit? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                                He is a pretty big bamf, I must add.

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                                                                                  [–][deleted] 37 points38 points ago

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                                                                                  This is a great thread. Your Grandpa rules!

                                                                                  [–]ani625 35 points36 points ago

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                                                                                  This is like some crazy parallel universe Maury Povich show.

                                                                                  [–]wordsauce[S] 84 points85 points ago

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                                                                                  you're telling me pal. the fact that i'm high isn't helping at all

                                                                                  [–]grandpawiggly 146 points147 points ago

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                                                                                  So you are on drugs? If there was ever a comment to delete... Did you pinch some from your grandma like you used to do when you were in college? Oh, she knows. She can't pull a fast one over on her. She can't even pull a shirt on over her fast.

                                                                                  [–]Rossbenton 38 points39 points ago

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                                                                                  Ooooooooooooooooo busted!

                                                                                  p.s. How do you feel about people doing drugs as long as they are responsible and what not?

                                                                                  [–]rocketsurgery 43 points44 points ago

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                                                                                  I feel this is an important question to ask, considering his hundreds of new adopted grandchildren.

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                                                                                    [–]kekkala 13 points14 points ago

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                                                                                    Maybe you shouldn't be confessing more stuff here. Or are you saying he's even cool about that?

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                                                                                      [–]acupoftea 31 points32 points ago

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                                                                                      Haha does he have more karma than you?

                                                                                      [–]wordsauce[S] 70 points71 points ago

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                                                                                      that might be the saddest part. he has like 75 times more karma. FML

                                                                                      [–]grandpawiggly 104 points105 points ago

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                                                                                      Karma is only exchangeable for soap I'm told. Still, I'd have considerable more soap than you.

                                                                                      [–]acupoftea 16 points17 points ago

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                                                                                      Your grandpa is awesome! How did you find out?

                                                                                      [–]wordsauce[S] 61 points62 points ago

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                                                                                      it's my own damn fault i guess.

                                                                                      [–]grandpawiggly 21 points22 points ago

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                                                                                      Braggadocio barely begets bliss.

                                                                                      [–]acupoftea 12 points13 points ago

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                                                                                      So much awesomeness!

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                                                                                        [–][deleted] ago

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                                                                                        [deleted]

                                                                                        [–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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                                                                                        This is why I love the internet.

                                                                                        [–]Apoc2K 18 points19 points ago

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                                                                                        So what did you do with the cats?

                                                                                        [–]wordsauce[S] 43 points44 points ago

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                                                                                        LOL. we locked them out of the first floor and kept them on the second floor except for the morbidly obese mayonnaise who can OPEN DOORS and possibly teleport.

                                                                                        [–]Apoc2K 16 points17 points ago

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                                                                                        So that's where Schrödinger's cat went.

                                                                                        [–]pytechd 9 points10 points ago

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                                                                                        Maybe.

                                                                                        [–]grandpawiggly 41 points42 points ago*

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                                                                                        Mayonnaise can teleport. She can also read your mind.

                                                                                        [–]ripripripriprip 25 points26 points ago

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                                                                                        I nominate grandpawiggly as the official grandpa of reddit.

                                                                                        [–]ani625 18 points19 points ago

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                                                                                        I can say from my experience that grand-parents are cool. Seeing this, I'd say yours is the coolest.

                                                                                        [–]wordsauce[S] 28 points29 points ago

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                                                                                        you haven't seen his stick. but yeah he is awesome.

                                                                                        [–]grandpawiggly 47 points48 points ago

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                                                                                        For those wondering, I keep a big stick handy in case anyone misbehaves. I don't ever use it, it's more the message it conveys. Stick = Order.

                                                                                        [–]dhnaranjo 34 points35 points ago

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                                                                                        ...What?

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                                                                                          [–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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                                                                                          Bullshit. No old person would choose Conan of Leno. http://www.reddit.com/r/television/comments/cilzz/in_plain_english_that_means_that_no_matter_how/

                                                                                          [–]grandpawiggly 1227 points1228 points ago

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                                                                                          Are you on drugs? Where did you learn how to type? Invoking Gaius Fracking Baltar? This is serious business!

                                                                                          I am quite giddy. I must avoid the temptation to troll my own grandson. That would be a lark! Maybe I can convince the modulators to make a trophy just for you. I wonder if SPAZ is taken? I'm so bad!

                                                                                          [–][deleted] ago*

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                                                                                          [–]bechus 338 points339 points ago

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                                                                                          Looks like he already was in trouble

                                                                                          [–]Murglewurms 167 points168 points ago

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                                                                                          That exchange is the best thing I've seen on the innanet in a good while. That's awesome. PAW PAW? Hahahaha!

                                                                                          [–]AQUA2 65 points66 points ago

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                                                                                          I have the biggest smile on my face right now...

                                                                                          [–]EggshellWhyte 139 points140 points ago

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                                                                                          Its only 7:31 AM and I can turn off the computer knowing there will be nothing better on the internet today.

                                                                                          [–]SliveDraver 116 points117 points ago

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                                                                                          But I must keep checking. Just in case.

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                                                                                                [–]bechus 150 points151 points ago

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                                                                                                OK: not only are you an awesome mayo-making grandpa, but you like BSG? This is just too good to be true.

                                                                                                You need to start giving lessons to other grandparents on how to relate to their children.

                                                                                                [–]grandpawiggly 139 points140 points ago

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                                                                                                So say we all! I love good science fiction. It doesn't get much better than BSG.

                                                                                                [–]bechus 12 points13 points ago

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                                                                                                I was serious about the 2nd part. I wish my grandparents understood what Reddit was.

                                                                                                [–]TheAfterPipe 20 points21 points ago

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                                                                                                God help us if my grandfather came on Reddit... Atheistic, crotchety, cynical engineer... Wait, that's what Reddit comprises of, isn't it?

                                                                                                [–]stoicsmile 56 points57 points ago

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                                                                                                THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO FACEBOOK! STOP NOW!

                                                                                                [–]cmon_wtf_man 8 points9 points ago

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                                                                                                Me too. Then my grandmother wouldn't forward so many (false) chain emails, she'd forward lolcats.

                                                                                                [–]funkyb 7 points8 points ago

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                                                                                                I'M IN UR EMAILS, GIVIN U TROJAN WURMS.

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                                                                                                    [–]hett 36 points37 points ago

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                                                                                                    Have you seen Firefly or the follow-up, Serenity?

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                                                                                                        [–]mreow 77 points78 points ago*

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                                                                                                        Can we confirm that this is, in fact, your grandson? This post is just too good to be true.

                                                                                                        edit: Oh, nevermind

                                                                                                        [–]grandpawiggly 133 points134 points ago

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                                                                                                        He is, in fact, my grandson. His (good) twin brother is also a Redditor and a shy one at that.

                                                                                                        [–]A-punk 55 points56 points ago

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                                                                                                        Ahh the old evil left twin brother syndrome. You may have to look into a 80th trimester abortion to solve the problem...

                                                                                                        [–]bechus 36 points37 points ago

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                                                                                                        Or just lock one in the attic.

                                                                                                        [–]miserablex 24 points25 points ago

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                                                                                                        But are they identical twins? How can we be sure we put the right one in the attic‽

                                                                                                        [–]marshallw 32 points33 points ago

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                                                                                                        The evil twin usually has a goatee.

                                                                                                        [–]busted0201 13 points14 points ago

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                                                                                                        Not always.

                                                                                                        See: Landmark case of Bender v. Flexo

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                                                                                                            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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                                                                                                            Paging V.C. Andrews...

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                                                                                                              [–]whodat_xo 9 points10 points ago

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                                                                                                              I love the fact that there is a good grandson and an evil one, which your both aware of and publicly note. Grandpawiggly... You're the best.

                                                                                                              [–]hazard2k 8 points9 points ago

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                                                                                                              Did all three of you happen to become redditors without each other knowing? Obviousily yourself and wordsauce didn't know, but was the other brother introduced to reddit, or did he introduce you maybe?

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                                                                                                                  [–]donkawechico 9 points10 points ago

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                                                                                                                  GrandpaWiggly recommends making your anniversary fall on the Winter solstice. You've convinced me.

                                                                                                                  A little piece of advice for any of you young Romeos out there: The Winter Solstice (December 21 or 22) is the longest night of the year. That means your wedding night is the longest night of the year. That means your anniversary will always be the longest night of the year. When you’re young and newly married sometimes you want to spend those first few holidays alone, away from your hectic families. Having your anniversary fall just before Christmas gives you an automatic “Get out of Christmas FREE” card. Use it wisely.

                                                                                                                  Best. Advice. Ever.

                                                                                                                  [–]kartoos 22 points23 points ago

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                                                                                                                  Upvote for the modulators

                                                                                                                  [–]grandpawiggly 34 points35 points ago

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                                                                                                                  I love the modulators! Without them Reddit would be nothing.

                                                                                                                  Mod You Later!

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                                                                                                                    [–]orbat 28 points29 points ago*

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                                                                                                                    Can you adopt me? I'm almost 30 but I look like I'm 17, I swear.

                                                                                                                    Edit: also, I'm a nematode.

                                                                                                                    [–]grandpawiggly 142 points143 points ago*

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                                                                                                                    Sure I can adopt you, orbat. 30 but look 17? You should have a chat with Violentacrez.

                                                                                                                    [–]orbat 43 points44 points ago

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                                                                                                                    You should have a talk with my good friend Violentacrez.

                                                                                                                    I'd rather not. I'm still in denial about the last time and my therapist said I shouldn't talk to him again, at least not until I get the stitches out.

                                                                                                                    [–][deleted] 68 points69 points ago

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                                                                                                                    I shouldn't talk to him again

                                                                                                                    We'll use the ball gag this time, mmkay? :)

                                                                                                                    [–]orbat 60 points61 points ago

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                                                                                                                    STRANGER DANGER!

                                                                                                                    [–][deleted] 44 points45 points ago

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                                                                                                                    Thanks to the Universal Life Church, I'm also Sinister Minister!

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                                                                                                                        [–]CitrusBazooka 51 points52 points ago

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                                                                                                                        Everything about this thread is making me happy, and this comment just made me bubble over into posting something, anything. Thank you so much for everything, Mr. Wiggly.

                                                                                                                        [–]grandpawiggly 45 points46 points ago

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                                                                                                                        Thank you, CitrusBazooka. You sound like a delicious flavor of bubble gum!

                                                                                                                        [–]charlesviper 28 points29 points ago

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                                                                                                                        Redditors making jokes about violentacrez is fine and dandy, but senior citizens making jokes about him? That's dedication. I don't know if I would take the half-hour to type out a comment about him when I get to be your age.

                                                                                                                        [–]ylca 11 points12 points ago

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                                                                                                                        What do you mean "Redditors making jokes"? I've only seen about 20 of this guys posts starting today and grandpawiggly is already on my watchlist of Ultimate Redditors.

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