The pressure of performing live makes me want to quit my band. Advice/Insight?

sulimanthegreat · 3 months

The anxiety that you're feeling is very understandable. I think most people go through something similar.

I've played in front of people for 35 years. I think you would relax a lot more if you truly realized how unharshley your audience will judge you. I'm not saying that everybody will think you're great but the vast majority of people who hear you will think you're great or won't really have an opinion one way or the other. Always keep this in mind: People are more concerned about themselves than they are concerned about you.

jaxioni · 3 months

I remember my first gig - I pretty much messed up every song, was shaking and everyone still came up to me and said it was awesome!

Play for yourself on stage, have fun, do what you like. It will be fun very soon - after a few gigs you'll be loving it! Just push yourself out of your comfort zone for a couple of shows and you'll be fine. It's worth it!

pnjtony · 3 months

Obviously if the band (or any hobby) isn't fun, you shouldn't do it. That said, I'd give it a bit longer. The other posters are correct, most people either think you're badass at the most or indifferent at the very least. The only people that think you suck are the backseat drivers that WISH they were in a band or could even play.

I'd give it a couple more shows before you decide.

rufusdog · 3 months

Go play at open mic nights. The pressure is much less, you only play a few songs, you get to talk to other musicians who are just as stressed as you, you get to see amazing players, you get to see other people bomb, and you get to practice in front of people without it seeming to matter as much. It is very helpful.

Social_Razor · 3 months

Marijuana.

kkuehl · 3 months

The lead singer of our band feels exactly as you've described. Even though I am the guitartist, I seem to be the glue of the band.

Our singer also used to think practice was fun, until we became what the rest of us perceived as good enough to gig. Now they dread practice and say that it isn't fun anymore.

Good luck, and I will be watching this thread for advice too, although I have quickly learned that you can't make someone else have fun or like being in a band.

guitareatsman · 3 months

Hang in there! Focus on the stuff you enjoy and try to let the rest of it pass you by. I've been playing live shows on and off for around 15 years and I still feel anxious about playing sometimes... it's perfectly natural to feel like that.

Playing in a band is about having fun yourself. If you are having fun, you'll feel more relaxed and into what you are doing. Enjoy yourself and the rest will fall into place.

Also, nobody cares if you mess up live. We ALL do it and 99.9% of the time, nobody but you is even going to notice it anyway.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Think about what makes playing music in a band fun for you and try to make that an element of your live show.

epiphonecasino · 3 months

You need to develop enough of an ego to think you're amazing (you know that confidence when you're drunk? All good musicians have that all the time) and become a performer, otherwise it sounds like being in a band just isn't for you, you should be loving every second of it!

LI2UDavid · 3 months

Playing live is strange for everyone at the beginning. I joined a band after playing Guitar Hero and decided that Expert wasn't hard enough, so I picked up the real guitar. My first few shows were HORRENDOUS. Bombed in front of a large crowd (not our fault; the house-provided sound techs weren't being paid nearly enough and didn't care enough to adjust sounds between the 20 bands playing that day) and could barely move on stage.

It's important to remember to make the show fun. I'm a very introverted person; I get physically drained being around a large group of people for just a few hours. Shows weren't fun until I started making them fun. Saying funny things makes the crowd laugh and keeps them interested. Reel Big Fish is a band that does a lot of this, you can find a lot of examples by searching "Reel Big Fish live" on Youtube.

Try fighting through the boredom. Add songs to your set that you enjoy playing; even though we have a full album for sale, we always play a few covers because the crowd sings along and it keeps my morale up. (My band plays blink182-style pop punk and I listen to punk, thrash metal, and rap) Do new things. You'd be surprised how forgiving people will be if you have a guitar in your hands.

Jagged_Orchid · 3 months

If you really want to keep playing and it just an anxiety thing then I have a few tips. Have a couple (just a couple) of beers or whiskys whatever's your poison and just loosen up. If you stuff up a couple of chord changes or licks nobodies going to notice and they aren't trying to. I'm sure you're fine but I have seen some very average cover bands in my time and the audience still goes nuts, live music just does that to people. Remember that you're doing something a lot of people couldn't even comprehend doing and they will be impressed, try to feed off that.

1 never stop playing, even if you screw up. If you make a mistake, jump ahead to the correct part. Chances are, noone will notice, and even if they do notice, they will quickly forget. Making mistakes isn't that big of a deal, especially if you are jumping around and appear to be having a good time.

2 It is very important for the vocals to be heard above all else, unless you are in a death metal band :) If you can't afford to buy a more powerful PA, rent a small combo PA for the show. This should be relatively cheap, especially just for one evening.

2 It is very important for the vocals to be heard above all else, unless you are in a death metal band :) If you can't afford to buy a more powerful PA, rent a small combo PA for the show. This should be relatively cheap, especially just for one evening.

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