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DAE gently drop their power cord over the side of the bed before they go to sleep, only to pick it up in the morning and find... (self.DoesAnybodyElse)
submitted 1 year ago by sigrid
...this?
I'm a skeptic and an atheist, but I must rationally conclude that there are magical fuck-you elves living under my bed that do this while I'm sleeping.
[–]MrKlaatu 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago
my fuck-you elves french braid my pubes over my dick overnight.
... morning wood is not pleasant.
[–]sigrid[S] 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago
I skimmed over that and parsed it as a non sequitur for some reason. "Oh, ha ha, something about pubes and the french and possibly bread."
Then I got it. ಥ_ಥ
[–]mckatze 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago
Oh. please. Oh PLEASE girl. I know you don't gently drop that bitch over the side. It's all chaos and plop with you! Gently, my ass. :)
You wound my honor. Every night, I wrap my power cord in bubble wrap and kitten whiskers, kiss it tenderly and, wishing it luck on its voyage, allow it to sail—to waft, really—to the ground on a cloud of candy floss and dreams of soft and gentle lovemaking. On a bearskin rug by the fire.
[–]mckatze 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago
We don't even HAVE a fire. A bearskin rug? What ARE you smoking, woman. And that powercord isn't something one would ever put their lips to. It's about as clean as a bear's asshole.
[–]sigrid[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago
WHAT NOW BITCH
[–]KiefStar 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago
ew.
Dude, that's been near the cat shit. End of discussion.
The cat's been near the cat shit. I kiss her too. My immune system is strong like a Russian bear.
Yeah, but she cleans herself! Power brick ain't got no tongue on it.
She licks her asshole with that tongue. The same asshole that poops in the cat box.
[–]erisdiscord 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago
It's also the same tongue that eats nasty cat food that smells like a fish's balls.
Worse still, the shit came out of the cat, so she's kinda dirty inside I think.
Gross. Didn't you step on it the other day and slip across the floor?
[–]erisdiscord 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago
No, can't say that I do. I sleep with mine and find it wrapped around my neck in the morning. Well, no, that happened with my headphones and they were more just draped over my neck. Well, more like tangled around my ears. I dunno man.
[–]zombiegr1nder 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago
ALWAYS. Evil macbook cords!
[–]GreenGlassDrgn 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago
I keep telling people about the cable gnomes and they never believe me. CABLE GNOMES!!! Yeah! They are out there, and bored as fuck, so they have contests every night to see who can create the wickedest knot and who is the best unraveler. And their kids use them as swings and such. Furthermore, cable gnomes are cousins of the sock-stealing gnomes, who live in washers and dryers and compete in absurd headgear, taking socks for hats, and thats where the single socks go.
[–]quantum_spintronic 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago
I'll just leave this along with this right here...
[–]flameofmiztli 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago
Same thing happens to my MacBook cord. I think there are cable gnomes.
all it takes is a username and password
create account
is it really that easy? only one way to find out...
already have an account and just want to login?
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[–]MrKlaatu 3 points4 points5 points ago
[–]sigrid[S] 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]mckatze 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]sigrid[S] 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]mckatze 0 points1 point2 points ago
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[–]KiefStar 3 points4 points5 points ago
[–]mckatze 0 points1 point2 points ago
[–]sigrid[S] 1 point2 points3 points ago
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[–]zombiegr1nder 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]GreenGlassDrgn 1 point2 points3 points ago
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[–]flameofmiztli 0 points1 point2 points ago