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[–]iheartbaconsalt 23 points24 points ago

It shall be called the Baconomicon. Do not argue.

[–]silvahawk 1 point2 points ago

Giglionomibacocon

[–]metl_lord 11 points12 points ago

Is it cast iron? If so, the Iron Pig.

[–]wjbc 0 points1 point ago

And if it is not cast iron, why not?

[–]ascii 9 points10 points ago

There are three main factors to influence the naming of a frying pan:

  • First, you obviously need to know if it's a male or female frying pans. Male frying pans have a sharp edge between the frying surface and the side, while female pans have a softer, rounded edge. For some reason, most skillets are male. Do they kill the female skillet at birth? How do they reproduce?
  • Next, check the country of origin. Your pan should have it tattooed on its belly.
  • And finally, you need to know if the pan is cast iron or non-stick.

Once you have assembled all this information, here are some suggestions. Being a Swede, I'm afraid I'm ignorant on the subject of non-European names suitable for pans, but I'm sure other redditors can chip in.

  • Female, European, cast iron: Brynhilde, Helga, Barbara.
  • Female, European, non-stick: Colette, Emmanuelle.
  • Male, European, cast iron: Boguslav, Ulf, Björn, Ceasar.
  • Male, European, non-stick: Dávide, Rafael, Honoré.

[–]simonjp 10 points11 points ago

THE PAN

It must always be said with a sense of reverance.

[–]NickoJCU 4 points5 points ago

and always typed in caps.

[–]paultag 4 points5 points ago

Duh.

[–]kfinucane 1 point2 points ago

duh.

[–]xeqache[S] 2 points3 points ago

DUH.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

DuH.

[–]paultag 2 points3 points ago

This is just a sea of carroll at this point

[–]kfinucane 1 point2 points ago

OmG wHo Is CaRroLl? I cAn'T SwIm!

[–]jonnykthedj 3 points4 points ago

and followed by hushed whispers saying "the paaaan"

[–]kfinucane 0 points1 point ago

i like it.

[–]AngelStreetJoey 2 points3 points ago

This. It must be.

[–]P1eman 5 points6 points ago

NOMNOMNOMINATOR

[–]zane411 2 points3 points ago

The Narwhal

[–]idonthaveareddit 1 point2 points ago

Oops, just saw this after I posted mine, have an upboat.

[–]Zambon1man 2 points3 points ago

You should bake your bacon... 30 mins at 350.

yum.

[–]manalishi 3 points4 points ago

may just be me, but...18 mins at 400 starting in cold oven gets the job done every time.

[–]Zambon1man 0 points1 point ago

I'll try that...

[–]Zambon1man 0 points1 point ago

didn't work. it took 25 mins in a 400 degree oven...

[–]Buck_Furious 3 points4 points ago

Fry

[–]Coloneljesus 0 points1 point ago

I like this somehow.

[–]Kesslerjfox 3 points4 points ago

Susan.

[–]keghiaguy 1 point2 points ago

Baconator 3000

[–]kfinucane 2 points3 points ago

The giver of all that is good.

[–]orthzar 2 points3 points ago

It. The device should be kept secret. When bacon becomes the subject, ya'll should all say in unison "It", and look over in the direction of It, and pause in silence for a moment. Also, It should be stored in a box with the phrase "Your life depends on It" written on all sides of the box.

Whenever someone asks about It, ya'll should all gasp in surprise, and one of you responds with "It cannot be spoken about for It's powers are too awesome for mere mortal language to convey with sufficient respect". If It is ever lost, you must post flyers around campus with "Have you seen" across the top, a ? in the middle, and "It" on the bottom.

[–]BlueJoshi 1 point2 points ago

You could call your trusty frying pan...

a Drying Pan!

[–]xeqache[S] 1 point2 points ago

If my flatmates didn't hit me every time I made a pun, I would have suggested this; it really is the best line ever.

[–]BlueJoshi 1 point2 points ago

Do it anyway, hit them with the Drying Pan if they disapprove

[–]ninjafroglet 0 points1 point ago

DOMINATOR

[–]bongowongowongo -1 points0 points ago

The Baconmaker.

[–]TROLOLUCASLOL 1 point2 points ago

Nathaniel Bacon after the famous colonist

[–]idonthaveareddit 0 points1 point ago

Narwhal.

[–]speeder61 1 point2 points ago

Kevin

[–]emmeh909 0 points1 point ago

The Porkinator

[–]FatherYang 1 point2 points ago

Sir Francis

[–]ao5357 1 point2 points ago

I can't believe this is so far down the list. It provides for nicknames:

  • Francis

  • Frank

  • Frankenbacon

etc.

[–]Ca1m_down 0 points1 point ago

Beatrice

[–]RosieMuffysticks 0 points1 point ago

Lucy.

[–]JohnStrangerGalt 0 points1 point ago

[–]Dean_K1 0 points1 point ago

I am going to put my vote for the Baconomicon.

[–]logicalnoise -4 points-3 points ago

Shitty thing we use instead of properly cooking bacon in an oven?

[–]stinkypinky12 5 points6 points ago

Properly? You fail.

[–]speeder61 5 points6 points ago

you both Fail, nobody is wrong when bacon is cooked

[–]stinkypinky12 0 points1 point ago

I know this, that's why I said he fails for thinking it can only be done in the oven

[–]ao5357 1 point2 points ago

Perhaps properly isn't the right word, but I've personally found oven-cooked bacon to provide greater utility (especially when coupled with brown sugar and cayenne pepper) than pan-friend bacon.

[–]LZcurlygirl 0 points1 point ago

Blasphemy!