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[–]capybara123 -2 points-1 points ago

Probably a little late, but here it goes. In my 8th grade English class we found an EMPTY wrapper for a disposable hypoallergenic diaper...

[–]WinkMe 141 points142 points ago

I found a Dildo on the side of the road while driving. The only reason I saw it was because it was glow in the dark and vibrating.

[–]sciaticbee 162 points163 points ago*

I found a bag of about 3 dildos in a supermarket parking lot when i was little. Made my mom and sister nearly piss them selves when I picked up the bag and started swinging around and dildos started flying everywhere.

Edit: Alright it was "around" 3 dildos not "about" 3. My mom still brings it up every once in a while too.

[–]HardTryer 61 points62 points ago

You found a bag of dicks??

[–]El-Babirusa 3 points4 points ago

Please tell me Louie sent you

[–]Sqpon 88 points89 points ago

Oh god, I fucking lost it.

[–]Lies_About_Upvote 145 points146 points ago

Get in touch with sciaticbee. Maybe it's not too late to get your bag of dildos back.

Have an upvote for good luck!

[–]Lt_Shniz 21 points22 points ago

You bastard. You didn't give an upvote at all!, did you?

[–]Gumburcules 23 points24 points ago

I found a bag of like 20 dildos and porno movies on the side of the road walking through a suburban neighborhood.

Why are there so many abandoned dildos in the world?

[–]t3yrn 80 points81 points ago

Yeah, someone should put up some Dildo Drop-Boxes, so those poor orphaned dildos can be cleaned up and reintroduced into society.

We can call it "Toys for Twats"

[–]botanist 13 points14 points ago*

We can call it "Toys for Twats"

You're confusing that with the Catholic church program of the same name.

Edit: "Socks for Cocks" didn't go over so well.

[–]NeilAnthony 10 points11 points ago

I work for a rental car company and we found a bag full of dildos in a car. Like 20 dildos.

[–]meadhawg 13 points14 points ago

How exactly were there "about" three dildos? Were there 2 full size ones and two very short ones? Were 2 fully intact with some pieces of others?

[–]t3yrn 9 points10 points ago

I was wondering the same thing -- ya know, *roughly *3. Maybe 1, possibly 5. But definitely somewhere around 3.

[–]scnavi 30 points31 points ago

I found a dead groundhog on the side of the road once, he was on his back and holding a beer bottle. I suspect someone put said beer bottle in his hands, but I like to think he just had an awesome night.

[–]lowswaga 43 points44 points ago

I worked with a guy whose dad owned a adult toy distribution center. His dad sent him on a delivery with a truckload of purple dildos. Something happened to the tarp on the bed and WHAM in the middle of rush hour a crack whore's worth of purple dildos come flying out the back of the truck. The poor guy had to run around and avoid being hit by cars to save all the dildos he could.

[–]raveni 30 points31 points ago

What happened to the ones he couldn't save? I'm just imagining people jumping out of their cars and grabbing as many dildos as they could hold.

[–]Spellitout 6 points7 points ago

Ha! I found one too! Pulled off the side of the road to check a map book and it was just laying in the gravel. Trying to figure out the thought process for discarding it: "Ah, that was nice. Drat! My cup holder is full. Guess I'll just toss it..."

[–]TharSheVotes 4 points5 points ago

What did you do with it?

[–]WinkMe 20 points21 points ago

Took pictures of it, then got a rubber glove to pick it up, and threw it through my old middle schools window.... This was with friends. We're terrible people.

[–]Posts_the_Obvious 32 points33 points ago

Had it hit someone, would it be sexual assault?

[–]Quepster 126 points127 points ago

I've found a dog in my house. There is literally no way it could have gotten in. It was just.... there... In the kitchen.

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points ago*

That happened to a friend of mine but with a cat. He woke up one day and suddenly there was a feral cat in his house all pissed off. I adopted her and named her Meanrock. Her first act as Meanrock Destructotron was to bite my face and make it bleed. Now I'm the only person who can touch the cat and not get ripped to shreds.

[–]ryanschnabel 43 points44 points ago

I once owned a cat named Jack Bauer. Jack was born in a pool of gasoline. He was the toughest junkyard cat I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.

[–]SanguineRooster 5 points6 points ago

I know this reference, but I can't remember where from...

[–]CrispyCanolies 9 points10 points ago

Pretty sure It's Always Sunny In Philly is the source.

[–]teamhex 19 points20 points ago

Reminds me of the time someone brought over a dog and no one told me. Our dog had recently died 2 months before. Walked out of the bathroom and just stared at a dog silhouette(dark lighting) about the size of our recently deceased one. Freaked me out pretty good because I couldn't see it fully, but I knew it was alive by the panting and small movements.

[–]hayashirice911 10 points11 points ago

Maybe the dog never left...

[–]Souldier 103 points104 points ago*

My friend and I once got lost in the woods behind our church. After walking sketchier and sketchier paths trying to find a way out, we found ourselves in what we dubbed "the hobo village". Couches, blankets, and weirdest of all, paintings (one of said couch). We were very confused and after a few minutes of inspection left and continued to find our way out. Later we returned to try and find it again, but to no avail, leading us to believe one can only find it of they're truly lost. Kinda like a hobo narnia. Edit: "wag" to "way"

[–]CottonStorm 49 points50 points ago

The Wine, The Couch and The Hoboes?

[–]MrMiracleFingers 159 points160 points ago

I once found a buried plastic bag with 20 valid passports in it. Funny thing was that all the passports belonged to eastern European girls.

Brought it to the police and never heard anything follow up on what they did with them.

[–]KillahHills10304 214 points215 points ago

human trafficking.

[–]Sothisisme 42 points43 points ago

So sad. So true

[–]shdwfeather 62 points63 points ago

That hurt to read. :( The things that humans do to each other are astonishing.

[–]KoalaBomb 45 points46 points ago

Don't worry, Liam Neeson rescued them all.

[–]mr_burnzz 41 points42 points ago

I was in chinatown NYC one day and next to all these fruit/veggie stands was a white van with the doors open. Inside, I saw a chinese guy handling like 50 passports! I can only imagine the money that he was making.

[–]wildcard1992 30 points31 points ago

My dad used to be a shipping agent, and sometimes he would come home with a lot of passports. They were for the crew of the ships and he helps them get through customs and do immigration stuff.

There was another time when he brought home a couple of duffel bags full of US$100 bills. There's a picture somewhere of me as a baby lying on a bed in the middle of a lot of cash.

[–]mr_burnzz 24 points25 points ago

Something tells me that the chinese guy I saw wasn't a shipping agent. It might've been when we made eye contact, he tried to hide the pass ports, yelled something in chinese and slammed the doors.

[–]mrpeeng 7 points8 points ago

Slamming of the doors was a warning, next is being pushed into the van then slamming of the doors.

[–]RichardBachman 4 points5 points ago

Something tells me wildcard's dad wasn't a shipping agent.

[–]TurtleStrangulation 2 points3 points ago

There's a picture somewhere of me as a baby lying on a bed in the middle of a lot of cash.

is this you?

[–]Lufah 7 points8 points ago

Hey, maybe you should watch Season 2 of The Wire...

[–]Kashammer 220 points221 points ago

I was out in the middle of no where in southern Ontario doing some GPS survey work and a BMW comes barrelling down the road towards me.

The car stops and this gentleman with a very thick british accent asks where the nearest airport is, I point him in the right direction and he says " cheers mate, here take this I don't think I'll get it through customs"

He tossed me 2 bricks of marijuana and drove off. I had an instant panic attack like there were cops chasing him or something. No cops came and I'm still working on the marijuana to this day, this was 2 years ago.

I'm not a big smoker by the way.

[–]Geminii27 183 points184 points ago

Makes note under "Confusing things to do when I'm rich"...

[–]alexf11 63 points64 points ago

I decided if I win the lottery I'm going to go to class then kick the desk over mid lecture yell "FUCK THIS CLASS I BET I CAN GET RICH IN A DAY!" then show up the next day with my ferrari and buy everyone in line at tims coffee

[–]conceptualworm 65 points66 points ago

can....you buy people?

[–]alexf11 27 points28 points ago

you can't do that at your school?

[–]mitchij2004 3 points4 points ago

He's obviously poor.

[–]MajorLeagueLegend 20 points21 points ago

Jealous. This only happens in my dreams. Although in my dreams the gentleman is a overweight balding white coke dealer from the 70s.

[–]laveb002 18 points19 points ago

Lucky bastard.

[–]pill_popper 57 points58 points ago

Hah, the first weed I ever smoked, I got when me and my friend, both 13, were sitting down at a subway station and this big Jamaican dude comes over, sits down next to us, hands me a bag of weed, gets up, walks away.

I swear he was an angel.

edit: I have since moved on to prescription drugs.

[–]g_robot 153 points154 points ago

Worst edit ever.

[–]naidiriv 38 points39 points ago

what do you expect, he's a pill_popper

[–]MtNoon 75 points76 points ago

When I was in high school, I was in marching band. I went to California for a competition and we decided that the most ghetto-looking park in Los Angeles was a great place to practice. On our break, we found a torn pair of boxers, worn-out jeans, and what could only have been a penis that was cut off. I kid you not. It looked EXACTLY like a penis, except there was a strange green moldy substance growing on it.

Oh, and we also saw a cute dog. I named it Carlito. He did not eat the penis.

Oh, and we decided that we didn't feel safe there so we ended practice early.

[–]potatoesmcgee 28 points29 points ago

Did you try to feed the penis to the dog?

[–]allahuakbar79 17 points18 points ago

Did you come back with peanut butter to make it more palatable for him?

[–]angrylawyer 73 points74 points ago

I had a pet snake that went missing for a few days. One day I go to cook a pop-tart in the toaster and I couldn't push it down all the way, so I peaked in and saw my snake curled up in the inside.

I disassembled it as much as I could but still couldn't take him out, so I had to go buy a mouse to coax him out.

[–]fumfar 47 points48 points ago

Oh god I thought he was dead .

[–]Daigeil 21 points22 points ago

One of my friends, a rather avid reptile collector, once lost his 5 foot Royal Python for a couple of weeks. They got a call about a week later from the local old people's home - apparently one of the seniors had been begging the staff to check under her bed for the big slithery monster she saw for a few days and they kept just ignoring her 'cos, y'know, senile and all. Unrelated, he works there now.

[–]Halley_D 17 points18 points ago

I've lost two different snakes in my house, on two different occasions. Never found either.

[–]laurieisastar 67 points68 points ago

I found a giant conch shell in the woods outside my house. My house is in Maine. Underneath/inside the conch was a TIME magazine from the 40s. Very weird.

[–]aninma 108 points109 points ago

You have the conch. You may speak.

[–]Somnia45 66 points67 points ago

Holy shit. Just realized one of my favorite Spongebob episodes is an allusion to Lord of the Flies.

[–]solrsb 24 points25 points ago

The magic conch! OOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOL

[–]Hoyarugby 13 points14 points ago

OOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOL

[–]Oblech 62 points63 points ago

Once my dad dug out a russian grenade (still with the safety lever) in our garden. I was afraid of doing any garden work ever since.

[–]unguru 14 points15 points ago

what is your location? I'm just being cautious.

[–]Oblech 33 points34 points ago

Poland. Also, ~5 years ago in my neighbourhood a 1t bomb from WWII era was found during some other roadworks. After all it's still safer here than in Rwanda or Vietnam ;)

[–]Ref101010 51 points52 points ago*

Was BMX-ing in a forest with a friend, when we were 12-13. In the middle of nowhere, we saw a pile of stuff by an old forest road, and took a closer look.

Turns out there was a military exercise held close by, and we had stumbled upon 30-40 sacks/crates of food and various equipment for a platoon, and among all that, a couple of AT4s and some SMGs.

We could hear lots of movement a short distance into the forest, and some more distant shouting, but no one was guarding their equipment. We didn't dare to touch anything though...

[–]Lots42 88 points89 points ago

"Johnson! Why is there a penis design made out of MRE's?"

[–]sparklyjesus 13 points14 points ago

Ohhh this killed me.

[–]Geminii27 18 points19 points ago

Everyone always suspects Private Johnson.

[–]Bellstrom 6 points7 points ago

You're now tagged as "killed by a penis design made out of MRE's".

[–]MrTacoPower 20 points21 points ago

i would want to touch it soooooooo bad

[–]Qatalife 50 points51 points ago

I was walking by a lake in Australia and I found a suitcase filled with American candy.

[–]veryikki 47 points48 points ago

Well, now I'm filled with renewed hope in finding a suitcase filled with Kinder chocolates by a U.S. lake.

[–]sheep1990 6 points7 points ago

I see you've found my bag

[–]pill_popper 5 points6 points ago

That wasn't candy, that was my stash.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]keyslip 73 points74 points ago

That's a rough neighborhood.

[–]Osiris32 5 points6 points ago

It's the devil's alley.

[–]sayhaythrowaway 40 points41 points ago

Working on a house who's owner had recentley passed away. Open up a AC vent and found the dead owners stash of cash and a handgun.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]sayhaythrowaway 40 points41 points ago

It was a revolver, most likeley a 38. We gave that and the cash to the owners son. I love guns but not stealing from a really stand up guy/his family.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]D0pl 16 points17 points ago

5 minutes later, he returns to reddit...

[–]Captain_Porque 10 points11 points ago

Hah! Implying I actually got off reddit. I just, you know, have the inspiration to...

I can leave whenever I want.

[–]ahcopel 40 points41 points ago

When I was 15 years old I riding in the truck with my grandpa when I spotted something shiny in the bushes on the side of the road. A few hours later we passed by the same spot and I saw it again so asked my grandpa to stop. It was a dirty black briefcase. We opened it with a screwdriver and there was about three thousand dollars in it with some wadded up clothes and cotton gloves and papers. My grandpa called the sheriff. Turns up that it belonged to the guys that had robbed a bank from a town about 15 miles away a few days earlier.

TL;DR I found a briefcase with money that belonged to bank robbers.

[–]yellowkirby 20 points21 points ago

never call the cops, always keep the money!

[–]your_dads_gay_lover 37 points38 points ago

That way you can get implicated in a robbery when you try and spend the marked bills.

[–]jornin_stuwb 35 points36 points ago*

Maybe not that weird.

I am a cyclist in a medium sized city. When you are on you bike everyday, you see a lot of things you would never notice from a car. For example, the black lumps of random garbage with a few leaves stuck to it that you see in gutters or on the side of the road. It's a hair weave. It's always a fucking hair weave. My current ride to work is only about two miles right now, I pass by at least three discarded hair weaves. If I change my route, run an errand, whatever, I will find a new one on the side of the road.

I just don't understand why so many hair weaves end up on the side of the road.

[–]dandeliondid 30 points31 points ago

Ugh I saw so many old, ratty weaves on the streets of Philadelphia. I used to make up little stories about Tranny Prostitutes getting into turf wars in the wee hours of the morning to account for them all.

[–]xenawarriorfrycook 43 points44 points ago

Haha I live in Philly too, we call them Tumbleweaves

[–]miss_j_bean 5 points6 points ago

"i'm done with this, time to set it free"

[–]windy444 29 points30 points ago

My son found a gold graduation ring at the beach. It was under a few inches of sand under a foot of water. He was using his toes to find clam shells in the sand. We got it back to the owner because he was from a small town with one high school. We contacted the credit union in the town and told them to contact the family. Got a phone call in about a half an hour. He came that day to pick it up and offered a reward of $50.00. We told him we didn't want a reward but he stuffed a $5 bill in my son's shirt pocket and left.

[–]TheGeekVault 54 points55 points ago

When I was 14 years old a friend and I found a dildo in the woods. We had made a fire pit before this and decided to throw the dildo into the fire... it smelt like peanut butter.

[–]darkindestod 57 points58 points ago

Before or after you put it in the fire?

[–]TheGeekVault 13 points14 points ago

We only noticed it when it was burning. But we never thought to smell it before.... I guess it will just remain a mystery.

[–]MrFilth 18 points19 points ago

You say that almost as if you regret not smelling it before you burnt it.

[–]TheGeekVault 23 points24 points ago

I'm not one to sniff a dildo before burning it.

[–]zymologist 25 points26 points ago

The house I grew up in is about 150 years old. On my property I've found railroad spikes, glass insulators for what I think were telegraph lines, a 1904 penny, and my personal favorite which I found under the porch - a cowboy spur.

[–]Grizeldabowski 51 points52 points ago

I once found a roll of film inside a condom in a truck-stop bathroom.

[–]keyslip 37 points38 points ago

Maybe it contained all the money shots.

[–]gm2 30 points31 points ago

Yes, but what do you think was on the film?

[–]pedro1191 8 points9 points ago

Did you ever get it developed?

[–]Grizeldabowski 11 points12 points ago

No, I didn't. Apparently I need some kind of negative scanner.

[–]bendanger 3 points4 points ago

Do you still have it?

[–]binary_zombie 19 points20 points ago

This is a reference to a reddit post from a few months ago. Some guy found a roll of film but didn't want to take it to get developed for fear of it being illegal stuff. He didn't have the means to do it himself at home so the mystery went unsolved. Everyone was pissed.

[–]cdizl 3 points4 points ago

I thought the girlfriend knew a guy?

[–]Nkliph 23 points24 points ago

I once found a friend of mine in the bathroom closet of my parent's house at 4 a.m., collapsed behind the hamper. I didn't invite him to spend the night or anything, and had gone to bed a few hours earlier. Turns out he had gotten black out drunk, drove his car to my house, parked it in the neighbors front yard, left it running with the door opened, entered my home and passed out behind the hamper in the bathroom. He was wearing shorts (soaked with piss) and a tee-shirt, no shoes or anything, and it was winter.

[–]cutofmyjib 4 points5 points ago

What did you do? What happened to your friend?

[–]sciaticbee 46 points47 points ago

TIL A lot of people have found dildos... WTF

[–]chaos_is_me 26 points27 points ago

People are tossing them like cigarette butts.

[–]ElTimablo 22 points23 points ago

I feel like there's a pun on "butts" in there somewhere.

[–]Fuloran 23 points24 points ago

Walking in the woods I stumbled upon a little clearing filled with horse, cow and other animal corpses in various stages of decay. You could feel the buzzing in the air from all the flies. There was no sort of farm or anything near by.

[–]username_redacted 26 points27 points ago

Probably a troll camp.

[–]Plethorian 13 points14 points ago

You don't put your cow pit anywhere near your house.

[–]RandolphMoneybags 21 points22 points ago

I found a paper mache head. The head was wearing a false beard. I kept the beard but left the head.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]nazgaten 35 points36 points ago

i found a large puffer fish (highly poisonious) happily swimming about in the ocean, that had been filleted, both it's side were cut off. Looked like it didn't care. prob knew if some one ate them they would die.

[–]500zombies1crowbar 111 points112 points ago

back when I was living in LA as a broke college kid, I was wandering the streets late at night with a friend. We were talking about our current challenges in life- he had to pass a french interview for the peace corps and I was in the middle of a philosophical struggle about the nature of being (par for the course for me at the time) when we came upon a white bookshelf. It was just sitting there on the street corner in the middle of the ghetto, with a sign that said "Free Books" on the side. Right there in the front was a blank French language workbook for him, and a copy of "Seth Speaks" by Jane Roberts for me.

[–]bigmatt7655 140 points141 points ago

Looks like you passed by the Dirty Street Corner of Requirement

[–]coachesballsack 66 points67 points ago

When I was 11 I went camping with some friends in the woods near our house. I woke up with a rubbery thing in my butt that I, in years to come, realised was a condom.

I never told anyone.

[–]Chastain86 25 points26 points ago

"I'll never forget those wonderful, glorious summers I spent with The Second Mile."

[–]Youreahugeidiot 30 points31 points ago

Relevant user name?

[–]Nadtastic 9 points10 points ago

want to go camping?

[–]LookOutForNinjas 6 points7 points ago

Isn't that a joke? My friend always used to say something similar to this...

"If you were camping and you found a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" And then if the person answers no, you ask if they want to go camping... Implying you'll rape them.. Consequence free!!

[–]kaisersousa 3 points4 points ago

Hey, wanna go camping again?

[–]Autogrex 17 points18 points ago

I was doing some community service at a state park in Maryland (no, no...it was not court appointed...I just wanted to do it) about a year ago. The group of guys I was working with and I were asked to demolish an old campsite -- a small wooden deck, a lean-to, and a latrine. Well, the first two go swimmingly. We sledgehammer the fuck out of them and it's a lot of fun. We get to this latrine, and this shitbox does not want to go down without a fight. We're hammering it, prybars everywhere...nothing. We decide to start getting a running start and using blunt force we attempt to destroy it. This, actually, works well. The structure starts to lean, and it's then we get our first whiff of what must have been 10,000 shits. Terrible, awful shits. We cover our faces with hoods, bandannas, and the likes to avoid contracting the black lung of doodoo. Anywho, this structure eventually crumples, and wedged in behind the shitty wooden throne is a big old purple dildo. We couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the day. I mean, not only was somebody going to poundtown on themeselves in the woods, but they were doing it in the poop chamber. We decided the best fate for it was to push it with a shovel into the hole full of gastric demonology from whence it came (no pun intended).

TL;DR Was doing volunteer work in the woods, found a big, meaty, purple dildo in a latrine we were asked to tear down. Returned it to the poop pond of its origin.

[–]ReallyGene 14 points15 points ago

I found full box of rifle shells completely wrapped in duct tape.

I gave it to the police, the officer was a little freaked out by it.

Never heard any more about it.

[–]gunknifestab 30 points31 points ago

A vhs case, no tape, titled "Log Jammers" in 2010. An American gay porn. Who owns a VCR?

[–]Chastain86 28 points29 points ago

Ah yes, I believe that's one of Jackie Treehorn's magnum opii.

[–]Thats-Awkward 14 points15 points ago

I do...

[–]gunknifestab 9 points10 points ago

Well, it was on a sidewalk in a Chinatown in Japan. If it belongs to you, then yes, this is awkward.

[–]Thats-Awkward 27 points28 points ago

I was just saying I own a VCR. ಠ_ಠ

[–]liferaft 4 points5 points ago

The one in Yokohama on the street directly adjacent to the big portal? Damnit, I knew that's where I lost it!

[–]Acidogenic 36 points37 points ago

[–]pixel_illustrator 11 points12 points ago

I literally just grimaced so hard I think my skull split in two.

[–]Hime_Takamura 8 points9 points ago

oh god what

[–]Shit-Barometer 193 points194 points ago

I once found nobody living in my attic.

[–]hayashirice911 60 points61 points ago

The Nazis..they got to her.

[–]unigod11 46 points47 points ago*

Frankly, I wish I had thought of that myself.

[–]swainss 10 points11 points ago

Me and a mate of mine while playing football (soccer) noticed a towel behind one of the fences, confused to why there was a towel there we went to investigate. As we got closer we noticed it was moving, so i persuaded my friend to open the towel with a stick, when he did we found a baby bat snuggling in the towel, it may have been injured we weren't really sure but its mother or what we want to believe was its mother was circling it for about 10 minutes before the little bat decided to fly off.

Nothing major, but still a bat in a towel isn't an everyday discovery.

[–]PleaseNotTheTruth 102 points103 points ago

Oh my god. Once, I found my cat, TARDIS, in the topper half of the toilet, chill as fuck. He's pretty fucking weird, like he can't figure out he cannot phase through doors, and his sometimes very liberal opinions on world politics.

[–]merwaan123 17 points18 points ago

I thought you meant your cat AND your TARDIS

[–]nondescriptPlank 24 points25 points ago

When crossing the harbour of Palma de Mallorca with some guy who lived on a boat in the Marina in a rubber dinghy, we came across a sports bag floating near the surface. Adidas brand vinyl bag, black. We fished it out of the water and opened it to find two dead roosters in there. After exchanging an engrossed WTF look we decided it was wrong to interrupt their journey and that the right thing would be to send them adrift again. Soon the (closed) bag was alongside our craft and we saluted the brave sailors wihle cranking up the outboard to get the fuck out of there.

[–]Damasticator 5 points6 points ago

You found a bag of cocks.

[–]999realthings 11 points12 points ago

My cousin and I were just were digging in the small patch of dirt in front of his house.

We end up digging up a biscuit box with a shitty drawn map in it.

[–]hobsonUSAF 8 points9 points ago

Annnnndddd?

[–]jane_fonda 9 points10 points ago

My sister found a fake boob at a crime scene at work.

[–]Lunawinter 11 points12 points ago

A human thumb, on the sidewalk next to a large shopping mall... sitting in a puddle of blood :|

[–]seldomifever 9 points10 points ago

I get really freaked out when I'm driving and I see little kid shoes on the road.

[–]dear_emperor 5 points6 points ago

Hahaha it's like that scene in drop dead fred where he gets hit by a fire engine and his shoes get knocked off...wait, it's not funny

[–]thegreenbastard23 9 points10 points ago

Ever since I was little I would find large shells all around my neighborhood. Sometimes I would find them years apart in different parts of different forests. They were all the same type too. The strange thing is there is no reason for them to be there I live in the Midwest and nowhere near a lake.

[–]bigwillFTW 22 points23 points ago

They're fossils, from back when the midwest was an ocean. Look it up.

[–]string97bean 66 points67 points ago

4chan

[–]chaos_is_me 23 points24 points ago

4chan is so far from being the weirdest/worst/most depraved site in the internet. There a depths where no man should venture.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]blizznjizz 16 points17 points ago

While lifeguarding, I once found a peeled potato in a skimmer I was cleaning out.

[–]pedro1191 7 points8 points ago

Not me, but my friend found a body in the canal next to his student accommodation once. We were pissed that he didn't show up to do some group work, until he told us why.

[–]wthulhu 7 points8 points ago

i found a dead body while visiting white sands nat'l park in new mexico.

some dude from georgia decided to drive to the park and off himself with a shotgun.

[–]CombStranger 7 points8 points ago

I once found a human foot wedged under someone's backyard gate. I first saw it on my walk home from work, was thoroughly creeped out, and pledged that if it was still there by my walk to work the next morning I'd call the cops. Probably not the best decision, but I didn't want to call the feds about Halloween decorations or something (even though it was June). I'll never forget the way my heart sank when I saw it the next day. The cops came to my work later and asked me some questions about it, but I never heard what ended up happening.

[–]gee85 7 points8 points ago*

I went on holiday to Florida with my fellow Brit friends, on the same day we arrived after checking in we decided to take a walk to find some shops.

As we were walking in down a long road, it was quite quiet and we were chatting having a jolly good time... Until we heard rustling bushes followed by noises of a guy breathing heavily and groaning, as we all turned to look we saw this guy with his shorts down to his ankles furiously jerking off - he was slowly walking towards us with a swagger walk as if he was the proudest of his performance. We didn't say a word and simply carried on with our day as if nothing has ever happened - and to this day none of us have ever brought it up to each other.

Not a pleasant experience for my first time visiting the US.

[–]Turnpikesteve 20 points21 points ago

Once, while scrounging at the city dump, I found a box of Mr. Sparkle laundry detergent. The picture on the box looked uncannily like me! Also at the dump, a perfectly good basketball half

[–]Eurgh 6 points7 points ago

Went on a road trip with my parents when I was young... we had to stop on the side of the road because we had run out of petrol. Mum and I got out of the car and I noticed a random pair of mens underwear just hanging off a signpost.

[–]Lots42 22 points23 points ago

You were near a gay sex hot spot. A senator was probably eyeing you from the woods.

[–]Lt_Shniz 6 points7 points ago

I too have found a dildo. It was in an abandoned chicken feed storage (which everyone called the rapehouse) It was a huge greasy double dildo nestled on some porn mags. It was gone when someone dragged me there the next day

[–]jefelikewhat 6 points7 points ago

i used to work as a maintenance for some apartments near the university. we would find all sorts of shit. assortments of dildos, bongs, condoms, typical college 'cant bring this home' kind of shit.

one day we were working on a water leak. we fix the tub and take down some sheet rock from the ceiling (first floor below the tub) to replace the area with water damage. tucked up in the rafters is a large male doll (either one of the large g.i. joes or a ken doll of the barbie variety). it had black fabric tape over its mouth. its hands were bound behind its back with the same black tape. feet were bound together. and it was placed in the fetal position. right next to it were a dozen dead roses.

it was all very strange. especially because there was no noticeable drywall repair or anything and the guy i worked with had been at the property since it opened and he knew nothing of it.

[–]leg_of_a_chair 11 points12 points ago*

when i was looking for a new flat, a friend of mine told me she wants to move out. i was interested in her flat and asked if i may have a look at it. so i looked around while she went shopping. i found dildos. i found dildos everywhere. used and not cleaned dildos. overall were baskets with used dildos in it. under her bed were also used dildos and in the bathroom. when she came back i said nothing and didn't moved in.

[–]ss32 4 points5 points ago

On a trip to NYC in HS with some teachers and a bunch of friends, I brought my playstation. We were trying to hook it up and couldn't see behind the TV. Luckily someone brought a flashlight. When I turned it on I looked up to find purple anal beads behind the TV. They looked clean but still....anal beads.

[–]RyeTheBread 4 points5 points ago

My boyfriend and I were driving down a desolate and dusty road in the desert near the Mexican border and we saw something hanging in a mesquite tree. Someone had taken a cat and hung it into the tree with a string and it was half skin and fur and half bones just swaying in the breeze. We decided that it could be a trap for cat lovers and got the hell out of there considering we weren't armed and had recently watched "The Hills have Eyes".

[–]eatspaintchips 4 points5 points ago

Driving through rural Alberta in the middle of January, and I saw a peacock out for a walk

[–]MikeHenry 5 points6 points ago

Some friends and I were in the woods by his house long ago, his little brother had to crap so he pooped in some plastic bag and hung it in a tree. Less then 15 minutes later we see a woman walking down a path carrying his bag of crap. Probably the weirdest thing shes ever found.

[–]MrDork 5 points6 points ago

When I was 10 and in Boy Scouts I stayed at a Boy Scout Camp in rural New Hampshire. I was showing my parents the stables where they kept the horses. While we were talking I saw a brightly colored bird (A parakeet) over in a clearing. I mentioned it to my parents and my mother walked over to it, put her finger out, and the bird casually jumped on her finger. This was literally in the middle of nowhere. We named the bird "Scout" and it lived another 4 or 5 years.

[–]Goliath821 4 points5 points ago

I found an entire watermelon behind my couch cushion about 3 years ago. No bullshit.

[–]ohmypseudonym 4 points5 points ago*

Last summer I was on a photo adventure with my friend, exploring our city's sewer runoff tunnels which, when dry, are a popular spot for graffiti artists. When we were about to leave, we came across what looked like some sort of dead animal that had dried out in the sun. We didn't think much of it at first, but after looking at it more closely, we realized it didn't really look like any animal we could think of. It finally hit us... it was a human fetus. As a photographer, my immediate reaction (despite my disgust) was to take pictures of it, but my friend just started walking away because of how gross it was. Both of us in complete shock, we left.

It wasn't until later that night when I told my mom what had happened and showed her the picture that I realized I probably should've called the police. I called and met with them the next day to show them where we found it, making sure to get the contact information for the police officers so I could find out whether or not they confirmed it was a fetus and if they were able to determine what happened to it.

I was very curious to say the least, but despite numerous calls to the police officers, I was never able to reach them and to this day I wonder what they were able to find.

(edit) TL;DR My friend and I found a fetus

[–]dildothrower 5 points6 points ago

When I lived in a big american city there was an old asian lady who dug through the garbage in front of our buildings every day. She wasn't homeless, it was just something she did.

My vibrator broke, my red, spinning, smiley faced vibrator. So of course, I threw it away because...well I didn't know what else to do with it. But because I'm a lunatic, I threw it in the garbage in front of the house and hysterically laughed for the 3 years we lived there at the thought of the ancient asian lady finding a red dildo in the garbage and keeping it.

I think this is why I am laughing like a lunatic at all the dildo finding stories in here. I've often thought about how funny that was to find.

[–]Polarenvy 9 points10 points ago

I found a pigeon that had been cut clean in half by a train.

[–]Nighthavens 23 points24 points ago

I saw it happen once, was at a bridge though. It slowly crushed the pigeon while closing and his intestines were all over the place.

Was pretty awesome because one kid started to puke.

[–]Blu3j4y 22 points23 points ago

Did he finish?

[–]blahblahblakely 3 points4 points ago

I was ast the park and found a shower scrubber strapped in string and shoved in a sock.

[–]dirtymoney 4 points5 points ago*

hmmm. I am in the metal detecting hobby, so i have "found" a lot of stuff.

Strangest would probably be the aluminum "three merry widows for $1.oo" condom containers. I have found three in about 12 years metal detecting. Example pic. I didnt keep them, they were all in very bad shape & falling apart.

edit: another odd item i found in the woods was the partial leg bone of some animal with an aluminum tag still loosely around it. I assumed it was from a canadian goose .

[–]yellowkirby 5 points6 points ago

you should of taken the tag and reported it to the state fish and game or wildlife agency near you.

[–]Tralfamadorian333 4 points5 points ago

i saw a couch in a tree once, complete with beer can ornaments as if someone were chilling up there

[–]beanster 3 points4 points ago

My family and I found a crack pipe while geocaching. My brother spotted the box next to a log somehow and we thought we had found the geocache, only to open it and find this pipe covered in ants.

[–]IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes 3 points4 points ago

When I was a kid we used to wait inside the apartment complex for the bus to come if it was cold or raining.one day we are waiting for the bus to arrive and we spot sitting up above the indoor mail boxes on a railway, a McDonald Halloween plastic happy meal head.anyone remember those? They were bright orange with a Jack o lantern pair of eyes and mouth painted on and you used them to put candy in for trick or treating.

Anyway we spot it and my friend reaches up and pulls it down. The lid is on it and its really heavy. We figure there must be Halloween candy in it.maybe someone stashed it there for whatever reason.we don't know.my friend opens up the top...

It is filled l,iterally to the very brim ,with shit.actual shit.its a solid brown stinky shit.I don't know if it was human or animal, but I was astonished at the sheer amount.to fill it all the way like that....it was just so odd.and why was it in the apartment stairwell? Why not just toss it.so many questions.

[–]ab922 3 points4 points ago

This one time, a photograph appeared in my mailbox. It is a little girl of about three walking down a sidewalk, and what appears to be a nun standing behind her. I still have it in my desk drawer, and for some reason I find it very unsettling.

[–]capnthermostat 5 points6 points ago

Once in high school I found a giant ziploc bag filled with various candies in the bathroom stall. Naturally, I put it in my backpack and ate it for all for lunch.

[–]IFlashPeople 17 points18 points ago

I thought that said 'candles'. I was like lolwut.

[–]Daigeil 5 points6 points ago

I swear to god I saw a pregnant man standing on a rocky outcropping at the beach once.

[–]Oafah 17 points18 points ago

A couple of guys came to my door and asked me if I had found Jesus yet. While it was evident that I had not, I did in fact find them really fuckin' weird.

[–]Geminii27 7 points8 points ago

"He was down the back of the couch all this time. Who knew?"

[–]GacysCrawlspace 4 points5 points ago

I found a submachine gun with the serial number scratched out in a swamp near my house when I was like 13. Took it to the police, never heard back from them.

[–]DirtyMonday 3 points4 points ago

I used to work in a hospital which had a 4th floor that was no longer in use. I was 15 or 16 so naturally I explored. I found a bed that was completely caged in and chained to the wall. Scared the crap out of me.

[–]Nobson 2 points3 points ago

Me and my friends were parked up on a car park in the middle of nowhere (a place that is a well known spot for weed smoking during the day and dogging at night) and found a 2ft dildo with pump attachment. Next to the dildo was a human shit.

[–]Malgayne 4 points5 points ago

I was getting drunk with some friends at home a few years back, and we pulled a bag of tortilla chips out of the cupboard. This was a brand new bag, never opened before. Inside, along with the usual chips, was a very greasy index card. It had been written on with a black sharpie marker, in handwriting I didn't recognize. It said "Don't read something you wouldn't do."

I still don't know what that means.

[–]bukkoctopus 3 points4 points ago

When I was a freshman in college in 2005, I decided to unscrew panels and such in the building my dorm room was in. I found a shriveled up banana with a note that said it was put there in 1983.

[–]TellsShittyStories 2 points3 points ago

Once I saw something that looked like a weird cross between a bird and a squirrel, but it turned out to just be an oddly-shaped rock.