Why are sick people labeled as heroes?

PrisonerOfTHX1138 · 3 months

"sick" person here.

People always tell me I've been Oh So brave, and I always say "Well I didn't really have a fucking choice... I wasn't brave...I just kept living." :-/

edit: Wow, so glad other "sickies" feel the same way. I had an organ transplant when I was 20, 8 years ago.

Jagged_Orchid · 3 months

Reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Bart tricked everyone into thinking a kid had fallen down the well.

HOMER: That Timmy is a real hero! LISA: How do you mean, Dad? HOMER: Well, he fell down a well, and... he can't get out. LISA: How does that make him a hero? HOMER: Well, that's more than you did!

almillarskovich · 3 months

Loved Ones Recall Local Man's Cowardly Battle With Cancer, from the Onion.

grokfail · 3 months

People are using the word hero as a synonym for brave, it is probably the closest there is to a noun meaning brave, apart from the very specific Native American warrior.

Edit. After some reflection and some comments below, I've come to think that heroic bravery - as opposed to courageousness - also implies a level of risk taking and selflessness.

A lot of war heroes often say how they were just doing what they felt they had to do, or that anyone would do in that situation and are uncomfortable with the label hero.

Irregardless, people in general use language pretty badly, using words uncompetently and getting disorientated in the process. Doesn't diminish the sentiment they feel.

Nomakeme · 3 months

I'm with you. My mom died of cancer and so many people told me she was a "hero." I couldn't understand it. My mother did so many amazing things in her life; she was a recognized artist, she started fund-raisers to help battered woman and people with cancer (before she was ever diagnosed), and she taught tolerance and love wherever she went. All that and people said she was a hero for battling cancer. She didn't have any choice. She wasn't being brave. All she did was get sick and die. The added insult of ignoring her actual accomplishments and calling her a hero for getting sick only served to piss me off. I know people had good intentions, and I never called them out on it, but I thought it was tremendously stupid.

LeGnosis · 3 months

Because they are not sick, this is just their cover for their crime fighting identities.

BOTW · 3 months

U.S. culture has recently had a great deal of difficulty distinguishing between hero and victim.

simon_phoenix · 3 months

This is a timely post.

A few months ago I was listening to an interview with Barbara Ehrenreich (the author of Nickled and Dimed) about Susan G. Komen For the Cure. This is quite a while before the current controversy, but I've had a problem with them for a while and because of that I've been thinking about it a lot. She made a lot of points that were ballsy. No one wants to hear some of this stuff; the reaction to the word cancer is second only to the "what about the children" mentality in terms of demagoguery.

The one that's related to this: calling people who get past a cancer diagnosis survivors. They are big on this, insisting that people never use words like victim, oh, she was a victim of cancer. But that is exactly what people are. Cancer is, even within certain lifestyle choices, capacious in who it chooses. Further more, she makes a point of mentioning her sister, who died of cancer. What is she? Not a survivor, that's for sure.

It might seem like cheap rhetoric, but in the process of portraying now-healthy women as warriors who bravely fought off cancer, and won, you're casting aside everyone who didn't win.

There are plenty of people who fight cancer bravely, who give it everything they have, and lose. And her point was, the "brave" part, the part where they stood up and fought and blah blah blah, doesn't really matter.

It matters for fuck all if you're is brave. It matters for fuck all if you cry like a little bitch when they tell you. Some people kick the bucket, some people don't. Some people are brave--right until the very end. What do we call them? Certainly not survivors.

I understand the complex: it's an attempt to wrest some control back from what is essentially an uncontrollable force. But the whole things gives an agency to those who survive that doesn't exist.

There is a better word than survivor. You were lucky. Nothing more, nothing less.

worzrgk · 3 months

My daughter went through six months of cancer treatment when she was 7/8. That is a long time for a child, felt like her entire reality. She had to face painful procedures that made her weaker and sicker over and over. She could have resisted, fought, hidden, avoided, runaway. It would have been understandable.

But we talked her through it as honestly as we could, and before procedures she would put on her game face and cooperate to make it as quick and easy on everyone as she could. This is why we call these kids brave, because they have to learn a mature level of self-control and willpower to face sure pain over and over and over.

Sure they do it to save their own lives, not someone else's, so "hero" is the wrong word, but seeing children man up like that at a time in their lives when their classmates are throwing tantrums at Toys R Us makes an impression on the adults around them.

devbrain · 3 months

People are stupid, that's why.

They asked me donation for the "Peter Pan House" for cancer afflicted boys, and I asked "Peter Pan House, because they will never grow old?"

I was yelled at. How could they choose a name so stupid?

roseday · 3 months

Why are only people with terminal illnesses consider heroes? Why not people who have lived with chronic illness for years, suffering endlessly? Is the person who has battled depression for a decade not a hero? I don't get why people are so hung up on cancer. There are plenty of other illnesses just as prevalent which may not directly kill you, but certainly cause a lot of suffering.

dd63584 · 3 months

The ability so self-hypnotize in the USA will never cease to amaze me.

Every single cancer patient is a hero rather than face the ugly and painful reality of a vicious disease.
Every single soldier is a hero rather than face the reality of war.
Athletes as heroes? WTF?
Police and Firefighters, although mega-appreciated, can be heroes but not specifically by virtue of their profession alone.

And so on.....

FallingSnowAngel · 3 months

They don't kill themselves.

Also, it's easier to call someone a hero than it is to actually give them your time and energy.

Iable-A · 3 months

I have a serious and rare health condition and I've heard people say it's so brave what I'm doing. I think to myself is it really so brave that I take toxic pills that may or may not work instead of just letting it get worse or shoot myself? No, not really. I think people say it because it might help them feel better knowing that their problems aren't as bad as they thought they were in comparison

17Hongo · 3 months

Another thing that gets to me is how many disabled people are considered "inspirational" or "courageous". I have heard interviews with several people who have disabilities - mainly that impair movement - and their attitude seemed to be along the lines of "We're not trying to be inspirational, and we're not being brave. We're just trying to make our way in the world, and everyone else saying how wonderful it is portrays a rather negative image of us, as helpless invalids, rather than individuals who are only somewhat less capable." To be completely honest I can kind of see their point.

AeliSupernova · 3 months

I don't want to counter-offend you, but that's pretty naive, man.

Sick person here, with a terminally sick little sister. She was diagnosed with Takayasu Arteritis when she was seven, with her case being the only one affecting the brain... they gave her a year to live. In the last ten years she has been misdiagnosed, mistreated, cut open, tubed, poked by countless needles, spent hundreds of hours in hospitals, gone through hundreds of awful tests, and been through endless doctors.

The sheer amount of medication she's had to be on has almost killed her a few times. At the age of ten she was addicted to morphine, and they gave her the wrong dose of methodone to wean her off of it and she died for a couple of minutes. The steroids made her gain/lose/gain/lose a hundred pounds, give or take. It has left her feeling disgusting and worthless and freakish... you know how young kids can be.

My little sister is my personal hero. Some of the doctors who treated her [the ones who didn't misdiagnose/make things worse/almost kill her] did a great job, but even they're shocked that she's made it this far. She hung in there when she could have let go a hundred times and not dealt with all of that agony, and she did it for me and my family and because she wants to make a difference in this world. She is brave and fierce and strong and smart. At the hospital they call her the miracle child because none of them expected her to make it, they had told us to start making funeral arrangements.

Now I'm undergoing tests for things that I might have, and it's looking like Fibromialgia. It's scary to think about what might be wrong with me, but at least I have my hero to look up to. If she can make it through all of that, then I can certainly make do with a little bit of fibro, you know?

I'm sure this wall will be forever lost in the comments, but I didn't feel right not throwing this out there.

inquisitive_mind · 3 months

Because it's too harsh to point at them and laugh, "Ha ha, you're going to die!" It really makes them feel bad.

pacman20 · 3 months

Relevant

spermracewinner · 3 months

It's because people have egos and they want to feel good. We live in a society of attention whores. Ideally the doctors and scientists, and people who give money, should be thanked.

AlesFTW · 3 months

I agree with you 100%. When someone survives cancer we should throw them a party and every one should be happy, but to say that their strength and courage allowed them to live is a joke and insulting to others who did not make it. At the end of the day you survive because you body/genetics were able to beat that strain of the disease.

Duncanconstruction · 3 months

I know this comment will get downvoted to hell, but I don't care. I feel the same way about the soldiers fighting in Iraq/Afghanistan. What's heroic about bombing people who can't shoot back from 30,000 feet (and usually taking out quite a few civilians as well)?

[deleted] · 3 months

I get what you are saying but I think it's because they have to work infinitely harder just to live their lives and are often times happier than healthy people.

i_fuck_kids · 3 months

I think in those cases it's used more as a term of someone you admire the bravery of. Bravery being not killing yourself, essentially. Which in a lot of cases is pretty admirable.

ElderMoose · 3 months

From a healthy person: It really hinges on your definition of hero. We often see heros as people who are put in difficult circumstances, not necesarily by their choice but by life. So someone who has been delivered a crushing blow by life (sickness, disaster, victimization), and rises above it, not playing the victim, even though they may be, is considered a hero. This particularly true for kids, who may not be able to understand why they are hurting, but still try to be brave in the face of that pain. That makes them into heros.

TLDR: heroism doesn't require you to choose the circumstance, just the response to it.

llama3ater · 3 months

I think the words "hero" and "brave" are thrown around way too often and 99% of the time inaccurately.

Matzke · 3 months

I also never understood why kids that kill themselves are also labeled as heroes.

penis-butter · 3 months

It reminds me of Norm MacDonald joke; "Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV."

DownWithTheShip · 3 months

I am an ingrown toe nail survivor, and a hero

maedr · 3 months

I'll take a shot at go against the stream of the top comments here. I'd say that a lot of sick people indeed can be labeled as heroes. Fighting a disease when it's breaking you down, giving others hope of recovery because you stuck with it and at the same time not losing faith in doctors, medicine or yourself is something I'd call an act of heroism.

If you look the word up you get this description;

Explanation: A person admired for bravery, ability, or an act of courage.

It is brave to face a horrible disease and stick with a treatment that in many ways breaks you down. It takes courage to face the disease head on and make the choice to get treatment instead of just waiting it out (and then, facing death). It also takes courage to try to live life as normal when you're living with a disease that's slowly killing you. And these people are admired for all of this.

I think that doctors and scientists by all means are heroes too. The give their life to helping others and to prevent diseases from taking lives. They are amazing. But so are the people fighting the diseases and trying to live a normal life for themselves and the people around them.

SenorUser · 3 months

I agree. A ship went down 150 miles of the coast of norway about 2 weeks ago. The crew was from my country. Of the 4 crewmembers only one survived. He was one of two that were in floatingsuits(special suit that keeps you from drowning) and he was dressed in the one that didn't have holes in it. The boat was being sold for scrap metal and safety equipment wasn't up to par.

The man was in the sea for 3-4 hours and after a 45min long interview people where calling him a true hero but he isn't he is a survivor. He survived a horrible situation but he is not a hero.

Hero: 1. a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.

2. a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal.

order227 · 3 months

definition of a hero: a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal.

The sick people I hear labeled as heroes are usually labelled such because of their positive attitude or good deeds they do in the face of such adversity. Too which they are a model and inspire those of us that do nothing but bitch about how shitty our lives are with much, much less adversity.

Also, what are doctors and scientist doing that fits your description? While I agree they should be commended for their deeds; are they risking anything to do so?

i_am_sad · 3 months

I didn't read many of the comments but the ones I did read did not mention this.

I think the idea of them being heroes has to do with their bravery, because like it or not they're put in a situation where they have to face each day knowing with a certainty that it is one of their last, and then try to be happy while knowing that.

tl;dr SO BRAVE

porkpie-hat · 3 months

It's because they're fighting hard and overcoming a lot. Being seriously ill and getting through it gracefully requires incredible emotional strength.

Radico87 · 3 months

Because Americans consider everything heroic. Oh you managed to wipe your own ass? Hero!

We throw that label around so much that it's meaningless

bud-tugley · 3 months

People confuse 'heroic' with 'inspirational' or 'admirable'.

When people see someone act with aplomb and dignity in the face of adversity, they tend to admire that. It's because when they picture themselves in the same situation, they see themselves going to pieces.

TheBeardofWin · 3 months

Because they are fighting, even knowing that most will not recover and it's a foregone conclusion. They keep fighting. Through the pain and sadness they just charge towards every challenge in their illness and do everything they can to live another day.

As someone that has been in significant pain every single day for 2+ years, I can understand completely why sick people are labeled as heroes. If this were any worse at all I definitely would've committed suicide by now and I can't even begin to fathom the type of pain that cancer patients (etc) have to go through. It absolutely rapes every bit of what you know about yourself. Your psyche is destroyed. You can't shake that "what did I do to deserve this" feeling. If you can stay strong through things like this then you deserve to be labeled a hero. I don't fit that bill at all but I sure as hell understand why some people would be considered a hero after they smile through the pain/torment that comes along with certain illnesses.

pwoody11 · 3 months

"generally this involves bravery"

Look up the definition of bravery. It says courageous. Look up the definition of courageous. It says "not deterred by pain". Id say a kid fighting cancer is not deterred by pain. They could just give up, quit chemo and die cause it sucks so bad.

So you pretty much answered your own question.

The_Painted_Man · 3 months

"An hero?"

ActionKermit · 3 months

Sick people aren't necessarily heroes, but nobly suffering an inevitable hardship is a classic recipe for tragic heroism.

MestR · 3 months

It's because it's very beneficial to our society if they are seen as heroes by us. If they have survived a horrible event or decease it brings comfort to regular people to know that even if they are in an accident people around them will be supportive.

BitchItsTyranitar · 3 months

OP, I have a lot of respect for you for asking this question, as it does so often get misconstrued. I think people consider sick people "heroes" or "brave" because their illness may be debilitating and rather than piss and moan about it, they just get on with their lives. You're right, this is the wrong definition of a hero.

I don't want to cheapen people who go through hell with their illnesses, but the sufferers themselves don't consider themselves to be "brave".

It seems to be people who have never really experienced such things label them as such. The sufferers do not see themselves as "brave" because they're not doing anything exceptional and/or risky for the benefit of others, they see their actions as someone who's just trying to live their life and cope accordingly. My aunt suffered from breast cancer for years, and as she put it: "What makes me a hero for having dodgy boobs when there are folk out there choosing to fight for our country?"

But she's a nurse (and an amazing one at that), so I would consider her a hero anyway.

kitsune · 3 months

You can be called a hero for many things. Not losing your humanity when faced with terminal cancer. Not killing yourself over it and deciding to stay with your parents. Whatever..

drivebypooping · 3 months

I generally agree with you: I think our society has a lot of unnecessary, schmaltzy verbiage that we waste on various individuals and groups. That being said, I work in a hospital and nothing is worse than seeing a kid with terminal illness... and nothing is more heartbreaking than seeing the preternatural dignity that many of them have facing their disease and the obvious effect it has on all of us who have the luxury of general health. I don't know... I don't label them heroes or what not, but they do possess a pretty powerful sense of persistence and what it means to love and be thankful. So, in that regard I suppose they may be heroic.

Wise_Guy_57 · 3 months

First off, general argument: You could argue that a severely ill person is a hero solely based on their ability to inspire others in the same position. When you're most likely terminally ill, and are still able to face that illness bravely, that's pretty impressive, especially for a young child.

Honestly, I don't think that matters. Unless someone is being labeled a hero for purely self-serving purposes (either by the individual, or whoever is doing the labeling), I don't see why anyone gives a shit if someone is called a hero. Clearly someone thought their actions were heroic, in some sense of the term, so I don't see how calling them a hero (unless they've clearly done something villainous) is an issue. I doubt anyone who considered themselves a hero would feel slighted by a severely ill person sharing the same title as them, and if they do, then they're being an asshole.

johnkong · 3 months

To make them feel better because they're going through a lot of shit. No, they're not actually heroes, but it's just nice to be nice to them and make them feel good and important. Plus, some of the shit they have to go through is kind of impressive. My friend had her leg amputated and I can't even imagine what that must've been like.

zip82da · 3 months

As someone with cancer this is something that always gets to me. I have personally done nothing heroic. In fact I have probably caused more pain and suffering to people I care about than anything. Sure, there's an amount of bravery that goes towards facing the treatments and what not, but there is no heroism in being sick. The real heroes are the doctors and medical researches who are actually helping to save lives.

Deradius · 3 months

The human brain is a pattern finding machine. All it does all day long is attempt to make connections between various bits of information it observes. Sometimes these connections make sense and are supported by logic. Sometimes they don't make sense and aren't supported by logic.

We have a serious (perhaps even pathological) need to believe that tragic things happen for some reason. We want horrible things to have meaning, because somehow we believe that if a horrible thing had meaning, that somehow makes it less horrible. Dying while saving a child from a speeding car trumps getting hit by a random bus because you were too busy walking and eating a hot dog at the same time. In truth, either way, you're dead - but human psychology doesn't work that way.

So when someone contracts a horrible disease - particularly someone who is especially vulnerable (a child, for example), we utter all of these platitudes that are designed to make us feel better. To somehow lend some sense of meaning to their needless suffering. The child is a hero. The subtext is, the child got the disease so that he/she can be an example of bravery to us all. It's bullshit, because what is the kid going to do besides endure the treatment? There is no other option. (Or, if they opt out of treatment and this is somehow allowed, they're a hero for "choosing to die with dignity.")

It's a form of self-stroking - an attempt to assuage the paralyzing fear that overcomes us when we realize those who least deserve horrible fates can still suffer them for no good god-damned reason at all.

EDIT: Typo.

[deleted] · 3 months

I had a good friend with terminal cancer and she hated when people called her brave or a hero. She had the perfect response for when people would say, "You're a hero of mine for fighting cancer." She'd reply, "A hero is a person, typically a man, who is admired for courage or noble qualities. I'm not a man and to be very honest I'd kill a baby if it meant i'd get to live to see 26."

KingOfSwords · 3 months

So brave.

tomot · 3 months

They are probably labeled that way because it is marketable. Brand association of a company helping brave heroes is better than brand association with a company helping normal people.

Batrok · 3 months

People love to call everyone a fucking hero. Every cop who dies is a "hero". Even when they have a stroke while taking a shit.... still a fucking hero. Soldiers? All heroes, even the ones that rape their fellow soldiers or kill innocent civilians. Apparently all you need to do to become a hero is sign up for the military.

People toss around the term hero like it's nothing. It drives me crazy.

I bet sick kids vote Ron Paul all the time.

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