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[–]PrisonerOfTHX1138 1187 points1188 points ago*

"sick" person here.

People always tell me I've been Oh So brave, and I always say "Well I didn't really have a fucking choice... I wasn't brave...I just kept living." :-/

edit: Wow, so glad other "sickies" feel the same way. I had an organ transplant when I was 20, 8 years ago.

[–]juririm 386 points387 points ago

Sure! I had leukemia, and felt exactly the same about it.

[–]FranzWilhelmIII 25 points26 points ago

Leuk means fun in Dutch. Nothing fun about leukemia though.

[–]ProbabilityOfFurries 20 points21 points ago

Dude. I had the flu once. And I was just like DUDE, IM NOT A HERO.

[–]benji1304 126 points127 points ago

Ditto, i've been sick in the past and have been called brave more than a few times. Always made me feel a bit weird, all I did was stick around!

People tend to relate it to the medical treatment/procedures I have had (dialysis, many ops, chest / neck lines, biopsies) and that i was 'brave' to go through them. My usual answer is that if I didn't i would have died, and I have never really felt like dying!

[–]irisjolie 95 points96 points ago

My uncle had fought cancer for more than four years - he'd gone into remission (for the second time), and he said that if it ever came back a third time, he wouldn't fight it again. It wasn't that he didn't want to live -it was just that his quality of life was severely diminished through the chemo and radiation; after four years of the same horrific treatments, he was just done if it came back. He has a daughter, a wife, a loving, supportive family.

Less than a year after that, he went in for a check up. The cancer was back. He was dead-set on not fighting the cancer again for a week or two. Finally, my aunt convinced him to get treatment and fight it again - honestly, I don't know what she'd do without him. They've been married for more than 30 years, were high school sweethearts, and have the capacity to make you hurl with their love and devotion to each other. It's now 6 years later - the cancer hasn't gone back into remission, but through chemo it hasn't progressed any, either.

Was my uncle brave? I don't know. He didn't decide to fight this last time for himself - he didn't have it in him to fight this again. He did it for his wife and daughter. I admire him for his love of his family, but I can't say that he was brave - he had nothing to lose by fighting, and everything, life, to gain.

[–]owl_in_a_cowl 20 points21 points ago

Really? Because I actually feel like in this situation, he IS brave. When my dad was going through chemo, he told me that if he died, it honestly wouldn't be the worst thing. Death is just nothingness for the patient, but it's grief and suffering for those left behind. I can definitely see why it would take courage to go through all of that suffering again for the sake of your loved ones.

[–][deleted] 101 points102 points ago

I just kept living.

Exactly. You're acting as any normal human being would: You're trying your best to survive.

Not being a hero doesn't mean you're a pussy. And I think that's where most of the confusion stems from.

[–]NaturalLogofOne 193 points194 points ago

As a relatively "healthy" person, becoming sick is one of the scariest prospects imaginable. So to see people who face my worst fear with strength and dignity is inspirational.

[–]nameofthisuser 48 points49 points ago

In our situation, you would act just as we do. I wouldn't find it inspirational.

[–]mehughes124 23 points24 points ago

Not true. Ask literally any nurse. There are a lot of shitty, self-entitled people who moan and complain when they get sick.

[–]yesukai 84 points85 points ago

Even though they have no other choice? Or would you consider the "act" of not killing yourself to be heroic? Cause I do that every day.

[–]illogicateer 101 points102 points ago

Non-suicidal Heroes assemble!

[–]Sniper_Guz 5 points6 points ago

We've been here literally the entire time you have.

[–]themightybaron 26 points27 points ago

Ya but thats not a hero.

[–]tehpoorcollegegal 20 points21 points ago

On the other end, I've been coping with a myriad of autoimmune disorders (I suppose the most well-known here would be SLE.) For a long time, when I was uninsured and when we were struggling to establish a diagnosis after that, I was in so much pain and had trouble getting through the day. But, being an "invisible disability" and being an otherwise healthy-looking 20 some year old woman, I often met with the attitude of, "Oh, you'll be fine." Especially from my customers and employers. What do you mean you can't bend down and lift that? You're not 60. Now do your job. So on and so forth. People had no idea how hard it was to simply get out of bed in the morning. The attitude is horrible, and getting through that was an immense struggle - I almost WISH someone would notice how courageous I've had to be, but when it's this kind of "sick", nobody cares. I think, when you're spoonfed the positive attitude rather than deprived of it, it's easy to take it for granted.

Nowadays, I'm on a long term treatment which leaves me thin and bruised, and because I LOOK sicker when I feel quite the opposite, NOW I encounter the attitude. It's disgusting how shallow people are in their judgements.

[–]Padmerton 9 points10 points ago

Could you relate to the "fight" against your illness? You know how people always say "He battled cancer for a long time" or "She fought to the very end." Do you think that's an appropriate way to describe it or is it, again, just something you have to deal with?

[–]jabask 48 points49 points ago

"Twelve-year-old leukemic Michael had passed away. He’d fought hard, Lida told me, as if there were another way to fight."

–John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

[–]Faoeoa 13 points14 points ago

I eternally love you for putting a John Green quote on here, DFTBA :)

[–]jabask 5 points6 points ago

Best wishes!

[–]IceRay42 9 points10 points ago

Really that entire book is relevant to this thread. I'm sorry I can't upvote you higher, because everyone should read John Green.

[–]jabask 5 points6 points ago

Love that book so much. I never cry reading (not even John's other stuff), but this novel just broke me.

[–]RTsmith 8 points9 points ago

As soon as I saw this thread I prayed for a TFIOS quote. Thank you for fulfilling my wishes.

[–]andrewrula 5 points6 points ago

This needs more upvotes. If you don't think so, buy the quoted book, then read it, and upvote.

[–]lightbreaksthrough 5 points6 points ago

I love that man so much. DFTBA.

[–]monstereddit 11 points12 points ago

Obviously (I would have thought anyway), the fight is a metaphor for the mental battle of 'dealing with it'. As in, decided not to grab the nearest gun and suicide or go on a rampage. It's pretty clear you cannot physically fight the disease ( you don't exactly trade punches with cancer cells to determine the outcome ).

It is winning the battle of hope. As ambulance drivers often say, the ones who keeps their eyes open and fight to stay conscious seem to survive more often.

[–]trueanalytic 5 points6 points ago

In terms of fighting, it's the doctors who are the heros, the sick person is merely the battle ground....

[–]somedude0 4 points5 points ago

Good to know. My natural tendency would be to get as much rest as possible and go unconscious, but now I know I should stay conscious.

[–]Gpr1me 20 points21 points ago

The way I fight illness is by resting. It seems like the easiest thing to do.

[–]Jagged_Orchid 1568 points1569 points ago

Reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Bart tricked everyone into thinking a kid had fallen down the well.

HOMER: That Timmy is a real hero! LISA: How do you mean, Dad? HOMER: Well, he fell down a well, and... he can't get out. LISA: How does that make him a hero? HOMER: Well, that's more than you did!

[–]sheepman21 529 points530 points ago

There is a good Simpsons passage for everything. I LOVE that episode.

[–]9monkeyman9 374 points375 points ago

THERE'S A HOLE IN MY HEART, AS DEEP AS THAT WELL, FOR THAT POOR LITTLE BOY WHO FELL HALFWAY TO HELL!

[–]Hitnquit 58 points59 points ago

.... Has been replaced at the number on spot by "I do believe we're naked" by Funky See Funky Do

[–]cyril0 146 points147 points ago

Quiet Marge! He's a good digger.

[–]Tipordie 7 points8 points ago

Sting!

[–]Sea-Salt 16 points17 points ago

It's a hole-diggin'! By gar, it's been a while!

[–]krakeon 13 points14 points ago

I loved him in Dune. Wait, Sting's a singer?!

[–]dmsheldon87 40 points41 points ago

WE'RE SENDING OUR LOOOOVE DOWN A WEEEELLLL

[–]Twin-Reverb 36 points37 points ago

THOUGH WE CAN'T GET HIM OUT, WE'LL DO THE NEXT BEST THING!!!

[–]Bring_Napkins 43 points44 points ago

WE'LL GO ON TV, AND SING...SING...SIIIIIIIING!

[–]GummiRock 25 points26 points ago

Indeed. It's how I live my life.

[–]Doctor_Kitten 48 points49 points ago*

We need a Simpsons Bible already. So many good life lessons to be taught.

edit: "The Book of Simpsons" subreddit? A place for guidance from America's favorite dysfunctional family!

[–]doomy_doomy_doom 4 points5 points ago

There's actually a book called "The Gospel According to The Simpsons." I haven't read it though, I just saw it in a library. It's probably nothing like what a Simpsons Bible would be...

[–]mark445 22 points23 points ago

In my younger days I used to say "Good one, Eddie" for everything. That is what one cop says to the other after they find out who Timmy really is, and decide to leave him down in the well.

No one knew what I was talking about, but I liked to be obscure like that.

[–]JJEE 118 points119 points ago

Hipsters gonna hipst

[–]miss_bojangles 65 points66 points ago

I think Jimmy Carr said it best when he said: "I don't mean to sound callous or unkind or cruel but the Children of Courage awards... how much courage does it take to get poorly. All I'm saying is they should change the name to Children of Horrible Misfortune. That way we could include ugly children as well. If anyone is sat there thinking they didn't like that joke and didn't find it funny; imagine how it went down at the Great Ormond Sreet Garla Dinner" or something along those lines

[–]kickit 23 points24 points ago

Definitely misread that as Jimmy Carter at first

[–]nme91 8 points9 points ago

Lost trivia tonight because I didn't remember Timmy's name, or that Sting was in that episode. I am decidedly bitter.

[–]almillarskovich 37 points38 points ago

[–]grokfail 999 points1000 points ago*

People are using the word hero as a synonym for brave, it is probably the closest there is to a noun meaning brave, apart from the very specific Native American warrior.

Edit. After some reflection and some comments below, I've come to think that heroic bravery - as opposed to courageousness - also implies a level of risk taking and selflessness.

A lot of war heroes often say how they were just doing what they felt they had to do, or that anyone would do in that situation and are uncomfortable with the label hero.

Irregardless, people in general use language pretty badly, using words uncompetently and getting disorientated in the process. Doesn't diminish the sentiment they feel.

[–]gestapoparrot 99 points100 points ago

as a physician I think that there is definitely a difference between a brave and a heroic patient. Almost all terminal patients at some point have to succumb to bravery in the face of expiration or they devolve from having an illness to "being sick".

As far as heroic, I think we see that all the time. The way you treat your family, friends and caretakers; the time you spend with other patients and staff; the role of awareness and advocacy many patients take on; spending time that may be your last in order to make another's day better; the role of hero takes on many forms to many different people. Someone doesn't have to be a hero to everyone to be a hero to someone.

As for kids, it is hard not to be a hero to someone around you. You have to come to terms with death (sometimes they have to be taught what death is first) and then be around two wrecks of parents, people who should be your rock in tough times. The roles are so often reversed and its amazing to see how parents differ two and three years down the line based on how their deceased child faced illness and how much encouragement they received from the child.

People with terminal illnesses must be brave because it is an effective coping mechanism and, assuming they reach that stage, is an important part of reconciliation with death. They must be heros though because behind every terminal patient is a group of people who as humans need that feedback. They need to know that the time they are devoting is appreciated and making a positive difference in the life of their loved one, they need to see and hear that person accept their death, they need help dealing with the guilt of outliving a relative, friend or child. Those that take up that torch and lead their friends and family truly go past bravery to true heroics.

I'm always amazed at those who have little time and their only concern is for those around them, how they are handling it and what they need to do to help everyone. The difference between a patient and a heroic patients shows in the lives of those they are survived by.

[–]titsasaprop 8 points9 points ago

This is probably the best delineation between 'heroic' patient behavior vs. 'just surviving.'

[–]oneLumana 2 points3 points ago

I think this is the most clear explanation of the phenomena. It comes down to how much the patient is willing to bear and how well they bear it. It is not being sick that makes them brave; it is refusing to let themself be defined by their illness and warp them that makes them brave.

Death sucks. Being sick sucks, doubly so if you aren't going to get better. We call them heroes, we call them brave because facing our own mortality is daunting, and if we encourage strength like that, I think we all hope to somehow be able to be that strong once it is our turn.

[–]JavaLSU 116 points117 points ago

A quick google search gave me this..

he·ro/ˈhi(ə)rō/

Noun:
A person, typically a man, who is admired for courage or noble qualities.

I guess you can go with the "admired for courage" part.

[–]Nobody_Nailed_It 3 points4 points ago

I've been a Norm fan for almost 20 years and haven't seen that one. IMO anyone who can legitimately make your average people laugh about cancer is a fine comedian.

[–]cultivatingmass 3 points4 points ago

The whole routine is on Spotify and Netflix (and I'm sure other, legal places) if you haven't checked it out yet.

[–]moxiedrinker82 4 points5 points ago

I came here looking for this. Good to know someone else posted it.

[–]lujanr32 84 points85 points ago

SO BRAVE

[–]IceK1ng 28 points29 points ago

I bet sick kids vote Ron Paul all the time.

[–]IAMnotBRAD 27 points28 points ago

POINT ME IN THE DIRECTION OF THE UPVOTES

[–]unicorn_shart 16 points17 points ago

I agree. It's like every hero is brave but not every person who is brave is a hero...like that whole square/rectangle situation.

[–]MontegoBarbados 237 points238 points ago

Bingo. Your answer is the best one here. People tend to use "hero" as a noun for "brave" to note how bravely someone endures an illness. That's it. It's not a sign of a weak, arrogant, or foolish society. It's a word choice.

This is unfortunately one of those topics that reveals the level of immaturity, inexperience, and cynicism of many redditors.

[–]Globalscree 226 points227 points ago

but how can someone bravely cope with an illness, it's not as if they can run away? they just deal with it because they have no choice and in many cases it is all they have ever known.

[–]Ikimasen 192 points193 points ago

Whether or not you can run away doesn't determine bravery... You can be brave or cowardly even when you're trapped.

Hell, you just need to see someone deal poorly with an illness and then see someone who's dealing well with it.

[–]Globalscree 94 points95 points ago

well coping well is not synonymous with brave, more grace (the propriety sense) in my eyes.

[–]Ikimasen 84 points85 points ago

This argument is about semantics, then, and is not a big deal.

[–]Globalscree 128 points129 points ago

This entire thread is an argument about semantics, or does the appropriateness of word usage in popular culture mean something slightly different?

[–]wikked_1 16 points17 points ago*

It's about semantics, but it's also about what actions you consider to fall under those terms. I might consider brave a person who, while in great pain, is still able to muster a smile at a friend to relieve that friend's concern. But another person might say that's just handling the pain gracefully. Both of us may agree on the definitions of bravery and grace, but disagree on what actions qualify under those terms.

[–]Ikimasen 4 points5 points ago

And this is probably why people think that OP is insensitive. Cause this is an argument over semanticsfor us, but it's about a person or people who have real problems. We can parse words all we like, but in the end, who cares? Close enough for me.

[–]kneb 4 points5 points ago

In my eyes, coping well with something that is potentially killing you is brave, whether or not you can run from it.

[–]lumberjackninja 59 points60 points ago

They don't kill themselves, or they choose to under go months of amazingly painful treatment rather than die in a couple weeks.

That takes a level of bravery. It may seem like the default setting, but when a person's life comes to the point where every waking moment is one of pain or dependence on opiates to even be able to act like their old self, some folks choose not to continue and just let the disease take its course.

[–]Gpr1me 53 points54 points ago

Suicide takes bravery and so does self preservation. Either way you're brave.

[–]TaiVat 10 points11 points ago

But overwhelmingly most people DO choose painful treatment and such and very actually kill themselves thus it IS the default choice/setting (out of the simple wish to live or perhaps fear of death) and not some unusual bravery.

[–]ThufirrHawat 7 points8 points ago

People do have a choice, they can give up. Something like cancer isn't the same as getting the flu. The path to beating the disease is brutal and trying, you don't just sit back and take medicine. Excruciating pain, nausea, hallucinations and a myriad of other horrible side effects. Some people simply can not handle that and give up. They lose the will to fight and succumb to the disease or they stop taking their medicine all together.

[–]livevicariously 15 points16 points ago

You can run away by refusing to deal with it and by shutting out people and things that can help.

It takes a strong person to look a terminal prognosis in the face and say "Screw it, I'm going out fighting and with my chin up"

[–]Meades_Loves_Memes 24 points25 points ago

I'm assuming you have never had someone with an illness close to you. It is very much a matter of bravery, and will. So many people don't seem to realise, a battle with an illness is just as much a psychological battle as it is a physical one. You don't just get cancer and get treated and either live or die. If you don't have the will to live, even if you get treated, you can die.

They can run away from an illness, by choosing to stop fighting. It's really hard to explain if you have never experienced it.

[–]Globalscree 32 points33 points ago

A close friend of mine died of Lou Gherig's, he always said he was always terrified, but he never let his children see it. That is grace, not courage.

[–]drp5 4 points5 points ago

You could always extend the definition of a hero to someone who handles a difficult situation with grace.

[–]appleseed1234 1 point2 points ago

I agree with you, but grace has fallen out of usage to some extent.

[–]bremelanotide 4 points5 points ago

Can't run away? Ever hear of suicide? drug abuse? denial?

[–]glacinda 12 points13 points ago

And I think that there is a difference, as you pointed out above, between calling someone a hero and YOUR hero. I think your wife being your hero for what she went through is perfectly appropriate. I also feel that most of the people here and never seen a close loved-one go through something as awful as chemo sickness, radiation burns, and so on. America HATES victims or any physical/mental weakness so it's much easier to hate the victim than the society at large saying things to help the victim SURVIVE.

[–]langsam 3 points4 points ago

How is it a sign of immaturity, inexperience and cynicism if people disagree with your explanation?

[–]BluFoot 2 points3 points ago

Thank you... The top comment is ridiculous.

[–]learnebonics 9 points10 points ago

How is one brave if they're sick? It's not like they really have a choice, unless they just kill themselves. We have to give them credit for not killing themselves?

[–]Nomakeme 25 points26 points ago

I'm with you. My mom died of cancer and so many people told me she was a "hero." I couldn't understand it. My mother did so many amazing things in her life; she was a recognized artist, she started fund-raisers to help battered woman and people with cancer (before she was ever diagnosed), and she taught tolerance and love wherever she went. All that and people said she was a hero for battling cancer. She didn't have any choice. She wasn't being brave. All she did was get sick and die. The added insult of ignoring her actual accomplishments and calling her a hero for getting sick only served to piss me off. I know people had good intentions, and I never called them out on it, but I thought it was tremendously stupid.

[–]alyoshua 4 points5 points ago

I'm sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like a great person and deserves to be called a hero for what she did throughout her life. This illustrates why the cheapening for the word pisses me off so much. There are better ways to show compassion to those suffering from disease.

[–]LeGnosis 154 points155 points ago

Because they are not sick, this is just their cover for their crime fighting identities.

[–]dez4u 73 points74 points ago

Once everyone is sick, no one will be.

[–]shamallamadingdong 14 points15 points ago

As an adult that grew up all my life in a hospital....I thank you for this. It made me chuckle.

[–]BOTW 633 points634 points ago

U.S. culture has recently had a great deal of difficulty distinguishing between hero and victim.

[–]LeSpatula 40 points41 points ago

It's not only the USA I think.

[–]mrout 76 points77 points ago

I personally think most of the poor young urban U.S. males that are conned into the war are victims.

[–]gordoha 329 points330 points ago

You realize very few of the military is young urban males, right? It's mostly country boys.

[–]Lokgar 149 points150 points ago

I'm from the South. I can confirm this.

[–]HereticAlpha 87 points88 points ago

I'm living in the South. I can confirm this confirmation.

[–]Trobot087 143 points144 points ago

I know which direction is South, and I generally agree with this statement.

[–]rehnis 22 points23 points ago

Is south down?

[–]HibernatingMonkey 49 points50 points ago

Only from your crazy Northern perception. We wont stand for it up here in the South!

[–]eddiminn 4 points5 points ago

reasonably good joke + cake day? GIVE THIS BOY MORE UPVOTES

[–]Today_Is_Jazz_Fest 5 points6 points ago

But if south is down..?

[–]NickWasHere09 5 points6 points ago

I once looked at a map, he is correct.

[–]aveilleux 2 points3 points ago

I am a compass, I can confirm this person's sense of direction.

[–]Pinyaka 13 points14 points ago

Former southerner here. I have no information regarding the validity of the confirmation of the previous confirmation.

[–]FrozenBulwark 15 points16 points ago

Urban kid here, Signing military papers soon.

[–]akillerfrog 45 points46 points ago

Guy in the Air Force here; you really can't designate a majority to the military anymore. There are people from EVERYWHERE in the military. When I was in Basic Training, I knew people from 30+ states, Puerto Rico, and several from Europe. The three most common US states that I found were Hawaii, California and Alaska. Since military service can lead to citizenship, there is a huge immigrant population in the military. It's not really a North/South issue.

[–]ZeMilkman 26 points27 points ago

Europeans? SO I TOO CAN BECOME A GREAT AMERICAN WARRIOR?

[–]ApatheticElephant 108 points109 points ago

This. But it's a whole world thing not a US thing. The popular opinion seems to be that everyone who fights in the army is a hero. But I disagree, no matter how unpopular my opinion may be.

The things that happen during war, and the things these soldiers do to eachother, and even the mindset many soldiers have when going into war are truly terrible. But I also don't feel angry towards soldiers. I just feel sorry for them, because they've basically been brainwashed into doing those things. I don't believe these people would go and fight if they were told beforehand exactly what it would be like, and that the people they were fighting were exactly the same as them. They think they're doing the right thing.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

I agree absolutely. When I see those ribbon bumper-stickers on cars that say "I support our troops" I'm always tempted to write in... "I support education for our troops"

[–]Bellinomz 9 points10 points ago

I never really understood this attitude either. Especially considering the fact that nowadays, you can be that kind of "hero" by sitting in an air-conditioned office near Vegas while dropping predator missiles on villages thousands of miles away...

[–]Ruxini 10 points11 points ago

I don't think that there is any mystery here. Isn't it just the effects of propaganda on a nation trained not to think for themselves?

[–]Rokusi 22 points23 points ago

...because people actually serving in the military without being deluded into a glory driven mindset don't exist? They might not have thought carefully about what it means to be a soldier and then decided for themselves to become one?

[–]Ruxini 6 points7 points ago

I'm talking about why the public would call any soldier a hero. I'm not talking about why people would want to become soldiers.

I do however have opinions on the subject to. You see, I'm danish, but my country has fought in some of the wars that america has recently. My observations are not applicable to american soldiers, since they are a totally different group of people than danish soldiers, having very different backrounds and very different levels of education. Anyways, I know 3 danish soldiers who are all some of my best friends. I've discussed the issue of war extensively with them, since I believe that it is not right what they are doing. People in Denmark tend to see the soldiers as heroes and many of the soldiers also consider themselves such. Those I know have a higher education than the average soldier (one actually having a major in philosophy and the other being a sergeant) and they all have a different view entirely. They all (and this is their own words) ventured to war for their own sake. They did it because they wanted adventure and because they wanted to test themselves. They all went on to say that they did not do it to help anyone, but that it was a pleasant side-effect that helped them justify that they were actually going out to kill people just for the adventure of it. They also said that this was the case with most, if not all soldiers.

[–]Rokusi 12 points13 points ago*

Well I come from a Nazy town and know at least two people who joined the Navy and the Marines because they wish to protect American citizens from foreign threats.

Therefore, our anecdotal evidence is at an impasse.

[–]yawnz0r 23 points24 points ago

they wish to protect American citizens from foreign threats.

That's not really what it is though, is it? The United States military doesn't protect its citizens because nothing threatens the United States in any meaningful way; it is used as a tool to unilaterally protect corporate and hegemonic interests.

In fact, it's easy to see how these people going to war to 'protect American citizens' are actually threatening American citizens by increasing anti-American sentiment and giving credibility to extremists.

[–]charming_asshole 11 points12 points ago

Do you mean Nazi town?

[–]graffiti81 13 points14 points ago

Audie Murphy was a hero. Joe Schmo that was a supply clerk in Virginia is no more a hero than me, sitting on my ass at the office.

[–]einRabe 22 points23 points ago

The popular opinion seems to be that everyone who fights in the army is a hero.

Not in Germany anymore.

Being in the Bundeswehr is nothing anyone gloats about and you won't hear any "thank you for your service" or "support the troops". In the best case you get ignored, in the worst case you get called a murderer and people will harass your family while you are on a mission.

[–]lechuckyy 46 points47 points ago

What? That's vastly exaggerated ... People here just don't care about the army, but they won't harrass you...

"Jesus"...

[–]einRabe 8 points9 points ago

It is common that the names of soldiers (except commanding officers etc.) in Afghanistan etc. are not mentioned or altered in media reports, because there have been harassments against soldiers families.

I remember reading about it during the first Afghanistan deployment that one of the soldiers was interviewed and he mentioned his hometown and his nametag was visible. The family received hatemail later on.

[–]lechuckyy 20 points21 points ago

I can believe that, but you make it sound like it was a normal thing to do here.

I mean, just look at the WBC... They're like that.

[–]einRabe 4 points5 points ago

It thankfully is not an everyday appearance. That's why I wrote in the worst case, to point out that not every soldier is gloryfied. Should have made that more clear.

[–]freakpants 20 points21 points ago

Whatever are you talking about? The Wehrpflicht (obligation to do service) has been cancelled less than a year ago. so at most, there is one batch of people that actually had a choice in the matter.

I'd love to see your source for that nonsense.

[–]simon_phoenix 44 points45 points ago

This is a timely post.

A few months ago I was listening to an interview with Barbara Ehrenreich (the author of Nickled and Dimed) about Susan G. Komen For the Cure. This is quite a while before the current controversy, but I've had a problem with them for a while and because of that I've been thinking about it a lot. She made a lot of points that were ballsy. No one wants to hear some of this stuff; the reaction to the word cancer is second only to the "what about the children" mentality in terms of demagoguery.

The one that's related to this: calling people who get past a cancer diagnosis survivors. They are big on this, insisting that people never use words like victim, oh, she was a victim of cancer. But that is exactly what people are. Cancer is, even within certain lifestyle choices, capacious in who it chooses. Further more, she makes a point of mentioning her sister, who died of cancer. What is she? Not a survivor, that's for sure.

It might seem like cheap rhetoric, but in the process of portraying now-healthy women as warriors who bravely fought off cancer, and won, you're casting aside everyone who didn't win.

There are plenty of people who fight cancer bravely, who give it everything they have, and lose. And her point was, the "brave" part, the part where they stood up and fought and blah blah blah, doesn't really matter.

It matters for fuck all if you're is brave. It matters for fuck all if you cry like a little bitch when they tell you. Some people kick the bucket, some people don't. Some people are brave--right until the very end. What do we call them? Certainly not survivors.

I understand the complex: it's an attempt to wrest some control back from what is essentially an uncontrollable force. But the whole things gives an agency to those who survive that doesn't exist.

There is a better word than survivor. You were lucky. Nothing more, nothing less.

[–]slane04 5 points6 points ago*

Best post I've read so far.

Just had this conversation with my dad who had cancer earlier in his life. If it is the case that this type of language helps cancer patients cope with treatment, then I'm all for it. However, it is a disservice to those that died. Did they lose? Are they losers? Casualties? The metaphor doesn't really apply.

Also, since this is reddit and all, did you mean capricious?

[–]worzrgk 203 points204 points ago

My daughter went through six months of cancer treatment when she was 7/8. That is a long time for a child, felt like her entire reality. She had to face painful procedures that made her weaker and sicker over and over. She could have resisted, fought, hidden, avoided, runaway. It would have been understandable.

But we talked her through it as honestly as we could, and before procedures she would put on her game face and cooperate to make it as quick and easy on everyone as she could. This is why we call these kids brave, because they have to learn a mature level of self-control and willpower to face sure pain over and over and over.

Sure they do it to save their own lives, not someone else's, so "hero" is the wrong word, but seeing children man up like that at a time in their lives when their classmates are throwing tantrums at Toys R Us makes an impression on the adults around them.

[–]djw319 8 points9 points ago

I am sorry that you had to go through that and I hope that your daughter is healthy now. Your story really moved me. I am writing this from a chair next to my mother's hospital bed, across from my pregnant wife. It has been hard enough watching my mom suffer with cancer, I can't imagine how heart-wrenching it would be if it were my child.

While I have not actually called my mom a hero I don't know that the term is inappropriate. Her continually positive attitude has been an inspiration to the people around her. Seeing the way that she has dealt with adversity has made the people around her better. That kind of positive influence in the lives of others is, to me, heroic.

[–]gardenlevel 3 points4 points ago

My son had cancer as well. To see what he endured, and how he faced it, makes him MY hero. Maybe not OP's, but I don't think OP understands how bad things get. OP also says that Dr's aren't the hero's, we'll they ARE hero's to me. Both the Dr's I know saved my son's life, and the countless research Dr's who I don't at all.

[–]bootsinowski 11 points12 points ago

Excellent thought, though I think the term "heroic" still applies, if not "hero" itself. Getting better from being sick is not a completely self-serving process, and it is such a gauntlet to run that I really don't even think twice when someone says a patient is heroic. You have to be brave to stare death in the face and fight, and mastery of fear is a heroic quality in the classical sense.

[–]Scherzkeks 1 point2 points ago

I think the point OP was trying to make is that not every sick kid would necessarily react with the sort of admirable maturity your daughter did. And I think you're right, they shouldn't have to, but it's amazing when they do. Hope she's doing well. :)

[–]devbrain 91 points92 points ago

People are stupid, that's why.

They asked me donation for the "Peter Pan House" for cancer afflicted boys, and I asked "Peter Pan House, because they will never grow old?"

I was yelled at. How could they choose a name so stupid?

[–]wishuwerehere 22 points23 points ago

Dude...you don't say that shit out loud. You haven't figured this out yet?

You're supposed to think it, then go home, throw some text over an image or make a stupid rage comic or something, then act like someone else made it and post it to Reddit with a headline like "Am I going to hell for laughing at this?" and then watch your karma skyrocket while the rest of us cynical internet sociopaths have a chuckle.

Come on

[–]mattzm 36 points37 points ago

Entirely worth going to hell for laughing at this.

[–]roseday 30 points31 points ago

Why are only people with terminal illnesses consider heroes? Why not people who have lived with chronic illness for years, suffering endlessly? Is the person who has battled depression for a decade not a hero? I don't get why people are so hung up on cancer. There are plenty of other illnesses just as prevalent which may not directly kill you, but certainly cause a lot of suffering.

[–]Onironaute 9 points10 points ago

Cancer has the best PR guys, it seems.

[–]Hirosheb 5 points6 points ago

Viral marketing.

[–]SunTzuOfFucking 3 points4 points ago

To tell the truth, it's mainly because getting society all worked up about it is the only way to get ample amounts of donations for research and such.

[–]dd63584 189 points190 points ago

The ability so self-hypnotize in the USA will never cease to amaze me.

  • Every single cancer patient is a hero rather than face the ugly and painful reality of a vicious disease.
  • Every single soldier is a hero rather than face the reality of war.
  • Athletes as heroes? WTF?
  • Police and Firefighters, although mega-appreciated, can be heroes but not specifically by virtue of their profession alone.

And so on.....

[–]snorkedsnorkedsnorke 103 points104 points ago

A little known fact is that pizza deliver drivers in the US are more likely to die by being shot on the job than police officers.

[–]discworldian 177 points178 points ago

In my defense, my pizza was late.

[–]ultrafez 5 points6 points ago

Genuine question: in the US, does the "you get your pizza in 30 minutes or you get it for free" deal really exist? Or anything like that? In the UK, whenever I've ordered a pizza for delivery I'm usually told it'll be here in "about 40 minutes", sometimes it's here in 20, other times it's here in 50. And that's fine.

[–]huitlacoche 27 points28 points ago

It does. In fact, it's implied in Article V of the Constitution, and formally codified in a number of states. In Arkansas, there are stiffer penalties upon pizza franchise owners. The case of Hopkins v Pizza Pit LLC for instance, was decided on a split decision of the Arkansas Supreme Court and determined that some franchise owners, under the State Constitution (which has more direct provisions than the Federal Constitution), that a pizza franchise owner must not only waive the cost of the pizza, but reimburse the man for the time he spent waiting. The decision was vague, though, and has led to much debate as to whether an individual be reimbursed for the time they wait beyond 30 minutes, or the entire amount of time spent waiting inclusive of the 30 minutes. This isn't to say the generally trajectory is draconian. Mississippi, for instance, has since expanded the delivery period to 45 minutes. In the legislative statement accompanying the bill LB-92, Assemblyman Braden Mailloux said: "While our predecessors certainly intended a speedy delivery of pizza as a right within the half hour, the growing size of cities and additional congestion of roads only makes it reasonable that our founders would have wanted this timeframe to expand and collapse given the relative circumstances of our communities." So, while the 30-minutes-or-free policy is true in much of the country, variations do exist across municipalities and states. Some favor pizzerias, some favor consumers.

[–]MINUS3AM 6 points7 points ago

Upvoting just because writing this must have taken a lot of effort.

[–]nobodytoldme 12 points13 points ago

Do you have a source? The bureau of labor and statistics lists "delivery/ driver" as one of the top ten most dangerous jobs in america, but I couldn't find anything about pizza drivers be shot more than cops.

Police officer, interestingly, didn't make the top ten most dangerous jobs.

el linko

[–]Hyta 77 points78 points ago

It's approval addiction.

[–]krush_groove 8 points9 points ago

I like that term, I will borrow it if you don't mind.

[–]fistful_of_ideals 33 points34 points ago

Every single cancer patient is a hero rather than face the ugly and painful reality of a vicious disease.

From what I've noticed, it's because people are completely fucking infatuated with "fighting" cancer. I can see struggling with your own will, doctors, or family, but people need to stop treating it like it's a fucking war. You are not the Batman, you do not fight cancer.

It's a goddamned awful disease, and there's nothing heroic about dying from it.

[–]ParkaBoi 26 points27 points ago*

I don't mean to piss on your fireworks, but I actually found the 'fighting cancer' mindset to be very effective. (I've had Hodgkin's lymphoma twice.)

Although I don't have another approach to compare it with, I was told by my doctors that my approach was good for me and added another ten percent to my survival chances.

I used to psyche myself up and tell the cancer inside me that it had no fucking chance of winning, that I'd crush it like the insolent, cheeky motherfucker it was and that only one us would be standing at the end of my treatment. And it wouldn't be him. And it worked for me. Twice. It is a fucking war.

But I never saw myself as a hero, just someone who wanted to survive. The metaphor I used when people called me brave or a hero is "If I put you in a room with a hungry tiger and one door, you wouldn't think yourself brave for running towards the door, just sensible."

[–]fistful_of_ideals 15 points16 points ago

At first, I was all like "Hey. Hey cancer. Yes, you. Fuck you." (melanoma twice, recently stage IV, currently in remission).

Now, however, I'm a little more objective with regard to treating it. It's more about the science and biology of it, rather than personifying clumps of bullshit that have assembled into some kind of Megazord. Who knows what effect my mindset has. Naturally, it's of little clinical value without using a clone or time travel, but I'm in remission, so who knows.

And likewise, I never saw myself as some sort of cancer fighting superhero of sorts. I enjoy your metaphor. Living is awesome, it's the "fighting" that sucks balls.

Kudos on being cancer-free, though :)

[–]omgitsbigbear 12 points13 points ago

At the same time, if they're going to die from this disease anyway why not call them a hero or tell them they're brave if it makes them feel better?

I know some people are hardcore badasses who just want to be told how it is, but other people are sick and dying and confused. If using the warrior or hero metaphor for their ultimately fruitless fight let's them die in peace and allows the people around them to have some consolation, why not? It's just a meaningless word and it's not like we have a surfeit of real heroes not being given their propers because someone said a sick kid was a hero.

[–]graffiti81 10 points11 points ago

And scientists and researchers are treated as ordinary people when they do more for humanity than any one of those categories you listed above.

[–]FallingSnowAngel 100 points101 points ago

They don't kill themselves.

Also, it's easier to call someone a hero than it is to actually give them your time and energy.

[–]learnebonics 18 points19 points ago

We have to give them credit for not killing themselves? What about everyone else who might have contemplated suicide, yet didn't act on their contemplations? I would assume the majority of people on earth have wanted to die at some point in their lives. Are we all brave heroes for not committing suicide? Besides, if they have a terminal illness, they don't have to kill themselves.

[–]layendecker 11 points12 points ago

Ari Shaffir (of Amazing Racist, Skeptic Tank and AMA Front page fame) had an interesting point. He said that suicide is the bravest thing you can do because it is finally letting go and taking the biggest step into the unknown.

Whilst I cannot say I agree with this viewpoint I have (unlike Ari) never been suicidal or considered it as an option.

[–]Iable-A 6 points7 points ago

I have a serious and rare health condition and I've heard people say it's so brave what I'm doing. I think to myself is it really so brave that I take toxic pills that may or may not work instead of just letting it get worse or shoot myself? No, not really. I think people say it because it might help them feel better knowing that their problems aren't as bad as they thought they were in comparison

[–]17Hongo 7 points8 points ago

Another thing that gets to me is how many disabled people are considered "inspirational" or "courageous". I have heard interviews with several people who have disabilities - mainly that impair movement - and their attitude seemed to be along the lines of "We're not trying to be inspirational, and we're not being brave. We're just trying to make our way in the world, and everyone else saying how wonderful it is portrays a rather negative image of us, as helpless invalids, rather than individuals who are only somewhat less capable." To be completely honest I can kind of see their point.

[–]AeliSupernova 26 points27 points ago

I don't want to counter-offend you, but that's pretty naive, man.

Sick person here, with a terminally sick little sister. She was diagnosed with Takayasu Arteritis when she was seven, with her case being the only one affecting the brain... they gave her a year to live. In the last ten years she has been misdiagnosed, mistreated, cut open, tubed, poked by countless needles, spent hundreds of hours in hospitals, gone through hundreds of awful tests, and been through endless doctors.

The sheer amount of medication she's had to be on has almost killed her a few times. At the age of ten she was addicted to morphine, and they gave her the wrong dose of methodone to wean her off of it and she died for a couple of minutes. The steroids made her gain/lose/gain/lose a hundred pounds, give or take. It has left her feeling disgusting and worthless and freakish... you know how young kids can be.

My little sister is my personal hero. Some of the doctors who treated her [the ones who didn't misdiagnose/make things worse/almost kill her] did a great job, but even they're shocked that she's made it this far. She hung in there when she could have let go a hundred times and not dealt with all of that agony, and she did it for me and my family and because she wants to make a difference in this world. She is brave and fierce and strong and smart. At the hospital they call her the miracle child because none of them expected her to make it, they had told us to start making funeral arrangements.

Now I'm undergoing tests for things that I might have, and it's looking like Fibromialgia. It's scary to think about what might be wrong with me, but at least I have my hero to look up to. If she can make it through all of that, then I can certainly make do with a little bit of fibro, you know?

I'm sure this wall will be forever lost in the comments, but I didn't feel right not throwing this out there.

[–]ausmatt73 8 points9 points ago

I think the important thing you've said here is that she is "my hero".

That changes the context. When you describe someone as your hero it's because they inspire you. It is a perfectly valid usage of the word that really gets forgotten when people try to define heroism.

[–]inquisitive_mind 22 points23 points ago

Because it's too harsh to point at them and laugh, "Ha ha, you're going to die!" It really makes them feel bad.

[–]Sicks3144 17 points18 points ago

That is the only alternative.

[–]pacman20 6 points7 points ago

[–]ApatheticElephant 4 points5 points ago

I hadn't heard of that meme before. Fuck some people on the internet are douches. I actually can't believe people would make fun of and harrass the family of some kid who committed suicide.

[–]spermracewinner 41 points42 points ago

It's because people have egos and they want to feel good. We live in a society of attention whores. Ideally the doctors and scientists, and people who give money, should be thanked.

[–]AlesFTW 9 points10 points ago

I agree with you 100%. When someone survives cancer we should throw them a party and every one should be happy, but to say that their strength and courage allowed them to live is a joke and insulting to others who did not make it. At the end of the day you survive because you body/genetics were able to beat that strain of the disease.

[–]glacinda 3 points4 points ago

Don't underestimate mind-set. It's how Christians try to prove God exists. It's been shown in studies that those who have more faith tend to do better, rather than the fact that they have a huge support network and lots of people encouraging them. I don't chalk everything up to the mind, but any high ranking athlete will tell you that mind-set can be the difference between winning and losing.

[–]Duncanconstruction 9 points10 points ago

I know this comment will get downvoted to hell, but I don't care. I feel the same way about the soldiers fighting in Iraq/Afghanistan. What's heroic about bombing people who can't shoot back from 30,000 feet (and usually taking out quite a few civilians as well)?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

I get what you are saying but I think it's because they have to work infinitely harder just to live their lives and are often times happier than healthy people.

[–]i_fuck_kids 1 point2 points ago

I think in those cases it's used more as a term of someone you admire the bravery of. Bravery being not killing yourself, essentially. Which in a lot of cases is pretty admirable.

[–]ElderMoose 3 points4 points ago

From a healthy person: It really hinges on your definition of hero. We often see heros as people who are put in difficult circumstances, not necesarily by their choice but by life. So someone who has been delivered a crushing blow by life (sickness, disaster, victimization), and rises above it, not playing the victim, even though they may be, is considered a hero. This particularly true for kids, who may not be able to understand why they are hurting, but still try to be brave in the face of that pain. That makes them into heros.

TLDR: heroism doesn't require you to choose the circumstance, just the response to it.

[–]llama3ater 2 points3 points ago

I think the words "hero" and "brave" are thrown around way too often and 99% of the time inaccurately.

[–]Matzke 4 points5 points ago

I also never understood why kids that kill themselves are also labeled as heroes.

[–]penis-butter 3 points4 points ago

It reminds me of Norm MacDonald joke; "Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV."

[–]DownWithTheShip 2 points3 points ago

I am an ingrown toe nail survivor, and a hero

[–]maedr 24 points25 points ago

I'll take a shot at go against the stream of the top comments here. I'd say that a lot of sick people indeed can be labeled as heroes. Fighting a disease when it's breaking you down, giving others hope of recovery because you stuck with it and at the same time not losing faith in doctors, medicine or yourself is something I'd call an act of heroism.

If you look the word up you get this description;

  • Explanation: A person admired for bravery, ability, or an act of courage.

It is brave to face a horrible disease and stick with a treatment that in many ways breaks you down. It takes courage to face the disease head on and make the choice to get treatment instead of just waiting it out (and then, facing death). It also takes courage to try to live life as normal when you're living with a disease that's slowly killing you. And these people are admired for all of this.

I think that doctors and scientists by all means are heroes too. The give their life to helping others and to prevent diseases from taking lives. They are amazing. But so are the people fighting the diseases and trying to live a normal life for themselves and the people around them.

[–]SenorUser 9 points10 points ago

I agree. A ship went down 150 miles of the coast of norway about 2 weeks ago. The crew was from my country. Of the 4 crewmembers only one survived. He was one of two that were in floatingsuits(special suit that keeps you from drowning) and he was dressed in the one that didn't have holes in it. The boat was being sold for scrap metal and safety equipment wasn't up to par.

The man was in the sea for 3-4 hours and after a 45min long interview people where calling him a true hero but he isn't he is a survivor. He survived a horrible situation but he is not a hero.

Hero: 1. a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.

2. a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal.

[–]order227 12 points13 points ago

definition of a hero: a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal.

The sick people I hear labeled as heroes are usually labelled such because of their positive attitude or good deeds they do in the face of such adversity. Too which they are a model and inspire those of us that do nothing but bitch about how shitty our lives are with much, much less adversity.

Also, what are doctors and scientist doing that fits your description? While I agree they should be commended for their deeds; are they risking anything to do so?

[–]Walawalawow 9 points10 points ago

Well with that logic, what is a sick child risking? A child with cancer will either die of it, or he won't, regardless of whether or not he is brave through the ordeal. But he is not sacraficing anything for the sake of the greater good. A child who survives cancer then dedicates all of his time and money to a cure, helping millions of others by doing so (like doctors), is a hero, but someone who simply survives or dies is not. Bravery does not equal heroic.

[–]i_am_sad 3 points4 points ago

I didn't read many of the comments but the ones I did read did not mention this.

I think the idea of them being heroes has to do with their bravery, because like it or not they're put in a situation where they have to face each day knowing with a certainty that it is one of their last, and then try to be happy while knowing that.

tl;dr SO BRAVE

[–]porkpie-hat 11 points12 points ago

It's because they're fighting hard and overcoming a lot. Being seriously ill and getting through it gracefully requires incredible emotional strength.

[–]Radico87 11 points12 points ago

Because Americans consider everything heroic. Oh you managed to wipe your own ass? Hero!

We throw that label around so much that it's meaningless

[–]bud-tugley 7 points8 points ago

People confuse 'heroic' with 'inspirational' or 'admirable'.

When people see someone act with aplomb and dignity in the face of adversity, they tend to admire that. It's because when they picture themselves in the same situation, they see themselves going to pieces.

[–]TheBeardofWin 6 points7 points ago

Because they are fighting, even knowing that most will not recover and it's a foregone conclusion. They keep fighting. Through the pain and sadness they just charge towards every challenge in their illness and do everything they can to live another day.

As someone that has been in significant pain every single day for 2+ years, I can understand completely why sick people are labeled as heroes. If this were any worse at all I definitely would've committed suicide by now and I can't even begin to fathom the type of pain that cancer patients (etc) have to go through. It absolutely rapes every bit of what you know about yourself. Your psyche is destroyed. You can't shake that "what did I do to deserve this" feeling. If you can stay strong through things like this then you deserve to be labeled a hero. I don't fit that bill at all but I sure as hell understand why some people would be considered a hero after they smile through the pain/torment that comes along with certain illnesses.

[–]pwoody11 13 points14 points ago

"generally this involves bravery"

Look up the definition of bravery. It says courageous. Look up the definition of courageous. It says "not deterred by pain". Id say a kid fighting cancer is not deterred by pain. They could just give up, quit chemo and die cause it sucks so bad.

So you pretty much answered your own question.

[–]chefanubis 12 points13 points ago

Theres a difference between being brave and not wanting to die.

[–]alyoshua 13 points14 points ago

Yes exactly. Self preservation is not brave...

[–]The_Painted_Man 11 points12 points ago

"An hero?"

[–]ActionKermit 2 points3 points ago

Sick people aren't necessarily heroes, but nobly suffering an inevitable hardship is a classic recipe for tragic heroism.

[–]MestR 1 point2 points ago

It's because it's very beneficial to our society if they are seen as heroes by us. If they have survived a horrible event or decease it brings comfort to regular people to know that even if they are in an accident people around them will be supportive.

[–]BitchItsTyranitar 2 points3 points ago

OP, I have a lot of respect for you for asking this question, as it does so often get misconstrued. I think people consider sick people "heroes" or "brave" because their illness may be debilitating and rather than piss and moan about it, they just get on with their lives. You're right, this is the wrong definition of a hero.

I don't want to cheapen people who go through hell with their illnesses, but the sufferers themselves don't consider themselves to be "brave".

It seems to be people who have never really experienced such things label them as such. The sufferers do not see themselves as "brave" because they're not doing anything exceptional and/or risky for the benefit of others, they see their actions as someone who's just trying to live their life and cope accordingly. My aunt suffered from breast cancer for years, and as she put it: "What makes me a hero for having dodgy boobs when there are folk out there choosing to fight for our country?"

But she's a nurse (and an amazing one at that), so I would consider her a hero anyway.

[–]kitsune 2 points3 points ago

You can be called a hero for many things. Not losing your humanity when faced with terminal cancer. Not killing yourself over it and deciding to stay with your parents. Whatever..

[–]drivebypooping 2 points3 points ago

I generally agree with you: I think our society has a lot of unnecessary, schmaltzy verbiage that we waste on various individuals and groups. That being said, I work in a hospital and nothing is worse than seeing a kid with terminal illness... and nothing is more heartbreaking than seeing the preternatural dignity that many of them have facing their disease and the obvious effect it has on all of us who have the luxury of general health. I don't know... I don't label them heroes or what not, but they do possess a pretty powerful sense of persistence and what it means to love and be thankful. So, in that regard I suppose they may be heroic.

[–]Wise_Guy_57 2 points3 points ago

First off, general argument: You could argue that a severely ill person is a hero solely based on their ability to inspire others in the same position. When you're most likely terminally ill, and are still able to face that illness bravely, that's pretty impressive, especially for a young child.

Honestly, I don't think that matters. Unless someone is being labeled a hero for purely self-serving purposes (either by the individual, or whoever is doing the labeling), I don't see why anyone gives a shit if someone is called a hero. Clearly someone thought their actions were heroic, in some sense of the term, so I don't see how calling them a hero (unless they've clearly done something villainous) is an issue. I doubt anyone who considered themselves a hero would feel slighted by a severely ill person sharing the same title as them, and if they do, then they're being an asshole.

[–]johnkong 1 point2 points ago

To make them feel better because they're going through a lot of shit. No, they're not actually heroes, but it's just nice to be nice to them and make them feel good and important. Plus, some of the shit they have to go through is kind of impressive. My friend had her leg amputated and I can't even imagine what that must've been like.

[–]zip82da 1 point2 points ago

As someone with cancer this is something that always gets to me. I have personally done nothing heroic. In fact I have probably caused more pain and suffering to people I care about than anything. Sure, there's an amount of bravery that goes towards facing the treatments and what not, but there is no heroism in being sick. The real heroes are the doctors and medical researches who are actually helping to save lives.

[–]Deradius 1 point2 points ago*

The human brain is a pattern finding machine. All it does all day long is attempt to make connections between various bits of information it observes. Sometimes these connections make sense and are supported by logic. Sometimes they don't make sense and aren't supported by logic.

We have a serious (perhaps even pathological) need to believe that tragic things happen for some reason. We want horrible things to have meaning, because somehow we believe that if a horrible thing had meaning, that somehow makes it less horrible. Dying while saving a child from a speeding car trumps getting hit by a random bus because you were too busy walking and eating a hot dog at the same time. In truth, either way, you're dead - but human psychology doesn't work that way.

So when someone contracts a horrible disease - particularly someone who is especially vulnerable (a child, for example), we utter all of these platitudes that are designed to make us feel better. To somehow lend some sense of meaning to their needless suffering. The child is a hero. The subtext is, the child got the disease so that he/she can be an example of bravery to us all. It's bullshit, because what is the kid going to do besides endure the treatment? There is no other option. (Or, if they opt out of treatment and this is somehow allowed, they're a hero for "choosing to die with dignity.")

It's a form of self-stroking - an attempt to assuage the paralyzing fear that overcomes us when we realize those who least deserve horrible fates can still suffer them for no good god-damned reason at all.

EDIT: Typo.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

I had a good friend with terminal cancer and she hated when people called her brave or a hero. She had the perfect response for when people would say, "You're a hero of mine for fighting cancer." She'd reply, "A hero is a person, typically a man, who is admired for courage or noble qualities. I'm not a man and to be very honest I'd kill a baby if it meant i'd get to live to see 26."

[–]KingOfSwords 1 point2 points ago

So brave.

[–]tomot 1 point2 points ago

They are probably labeled that way because it is marketable. Brand association of a company helping brave heroes is better than brand association with a company helping normal people.

[–]Batrok 1 point2 points ago

People love to call everyone a fucking hero. Every cop who dies is a "hero". Even when they have a stroke while taking a shit.... still a fucking hero. Soldiers? All heroes, even the ones that rape their fellow soldiers or kill innocent civilians. Apparently all you need to do to become a hero is sign up for the military.

People toss around the term hero like it's nothing. It drives me crazy.