A special ed girl wants to go out with me. How do I get out of it in the nicest way possible?

ampriskitsune · 3 months

As someone that works with people with developmental disabilities, I'm going to say just explain to her that you don't want to date her. If you wanna be friends, I recommend saying that. Something like, "Hey ___, I just wanted to let you know that I don't want to go out with you, but you would be a great friend and I'd like to be friends with you, okay?" But don't do it out of pity; if you wanna be friends and get to know someone new, this is a great chance for you!

Seriously, though, they have the same dramas and interactions and everything going on in their lives that the rest of us do. They get frustrated with their parents coddling them, don't like when their roommate takes their chair at movie time, they like going on dates, they like hanging out and gossiping with friends, etc etc. Every now and then you have to simplify your terms to explain something clearly, but that's about it. They get it. They're people just like the rest of us. Don't be afraid of being honest with anybody; just don't be rude about it, and make sure they understand what you've said (without being condescending), and you're good to go. ^{_^}

All_Your_Base · 3 months

She has a special Ed teacher. Ask her for advice. She will have the best way to handle it.

iglidante · 3 months

Honest question here: Wouldn't there be consent issues if you actually did date a person with Downs?

DontTread0nMe · 3 months

Politely decline. Any attempts to "hang out" with her to cushion her feelings (unless you really do want to hang out with her) will lead her on.

Conchobair · 3 months

Just tell her that you're not interested. It's not different than anyone else that you don't want to date.

quincy_c3 · 3 months

Fake your own death.

redcolumbine · 3 months

"Yes" would be leading her on if you don't intend to go steady. There's no easy way out, but early is kinder. People will be mean to you for it, but the die is already cast.

dilbert9000 · 3 months

In high school there was a mentally handicapped girl that had a crush on me. I always tried to be nice and talk to her. One day at lunch I was hanging out with my friends, she walks up and asks me if I will be her boyfriend. I stood there, shocked, looked at my friends, then awkwardly said "Uhh... no thanks." She cried for the rest of the day and people gave me shit about it for the rest of high school.

HawkingEta · 3 months

Leave the country.

allhollows415 · 3 months

DUUUUUUUUUUUDE i dont get these sort of things! tell her you have a girlfriend! BAM! you arent an asshole for saying no and everyones comments just became useless!

Fluffnugget · 3 months

Go on the date and do an IAMA during the date.

DiabloConQueso · 3 months

Nice try, Artie Abrams from the hit show Glee...

jxj24 · 3 months

"Sorry, but I'm just not looking to get Down tonight."

ashwin23 · 3 months

Just tell her you are flattered by her asking but that you are just not interested in seeing anyone. Even if it is a lie, she will accept it and probably move on to someone else. And that way you don't come off as a royal douche bag.

scrufdawg · 3 months

"I'm not special enough for you."

run85 · 3 months

A highly relevant Glee episode from last week pointed out that people with mental disabilities are people, too. Don't be a dick, but treat her like any girl you wouldn't want to go out with, not like she's made of glass. How would you turn down an ugly chick from biology class? Do that.

gbny · 3 months

Say "no thank you", and immediately give her a balloon. Everyone wins.

lightningman26 · 3 months

Women of reddit, pay attention to these answers. They are also the best way to turn down a guy who hopelessly believes himself to be in the friend zone with you.

Watten · 3 months

I have worked with people with mental retardation for a long time and have seen this before and I can say that people that have been the person that they have falling in love with had a hard time to get rid of them. I will say it can be hard for people with down syndrome do understand when someone is not intrested in they like the same way as you do. So first be very clear when you talk to her. Don't say anything that can be missinterpreted in anyway even if it can be to a maybe. Say no clearly. Don't even hint that maybe someday. That is the most important thing.The only way to handle it is say no every single time when she hint or if she ask you out very cleary. In a polite maner but clearly. I don't believe that you can stop her for having a crush on you but you can stop her from a bigger disaster if she believe that you said yes or maybe.

One case I have seen was a guy that gived his number to one girl with down syndrome that hade a crush on him to be nice. She called him every single night and the only way it was stop when people was forced to call her mother and father and let them tell them very strict that no means no. So is very important again. Say no clearly and polite and hopefully it will be end has just a sad crush for the girl. Be a little more polite than normal.

LibertarianGuy · 3 months

Whatever you do, let her downs easy.

barbsteele · 3 months

I would not treat her any differently than another girl who asked you out that you were not interested in. I'm sure she does not need a sympathy date. You could simply say "no thank you" and ask to stay friends. As long as there is no mocking tone, she should accept it and will only be let down for so long.

KarmaSeppuku · 3 months

Get a sex change, hope she isn't bisexual.

bonamigi · 3 months

Take her to the zoo. They love the zoo.

NegativeKarmagasm · 3 months

How sped is she? Is she herp da derp, or does she just struggle in some subjects?

Nothing wrong with learning impaired. I could understand why you wouldn't want to date some one with a mind that is several years younger than yours. But if she just struggles a bit, but comes across as normal, do not be so judgmental.

My wife cant do algebra and struggles with spelling(not reading). She was in special classes for those subjects in high school. You would never know it though. She takes good care of the kids.

Edit: As a bonus, my wife just said a lot of her female classmates in the special classes were pretty easy.

meeu · 3 months

Hit it for your bucket list.

[deleted] · 3 months

Say you're gay

dhb12 · 3 months

A special ed boy liked me all through middle school, 5th grade and on. When it came to our 8th grade promotion (I don't know where you're from, but in the northeast we have a small graduation and prom after leaving 8th grade). I didn't have a date yet, so I spoke with one of his teachers and invited him to the dance with me. We did the awkward middle school slow dance once and he had a great time.

My advice would be to wait for a school dance where she may have some friends there or to take her on a date with parents. Even just go to her house or invite her and her parents over for dinner one night. You could do a family dinner date every now and then, she would be happy and you wouldn't have to hurt her feelings. Talk to her teacher about it and they can contact her parents and work it out for you.

GacysCrawlspace · 3 months

An intellectually disabled girl wants to go out with you. You are not an asshole if you politely decline any of her advances. She's a person just like you, and she can handle rejection just like you. The fact that she's disabled really isn't an issue here, just treat her like any other girl who might have unreciprocated feelings for you. Politely

popayesailor · 3 months

Take her on a date to and arcade or ballgame or something. Make sure every girl at your school knows about it... I would think that sort of thing would generate awesome girl karma.

poopright · 3 months

Tell her you're sorry but you have a crush on someone else and you can't date two hot women at once.

JesusChristSuperDick · 3 months

Is it illegal to have sex with retarded people?

dallywolf · 3 months

I think this question would be better asked on 4chan.

PuppyBreath · 3 months

As a girl, I would say that your best bet is just to be honest. If you aren't attracted to her, then it isn't your fault. Unless you're seriously just afraid of going out with someone who has a disability. If she's capable of mature thought and mature conversations, what's holding ya?

Mattyx6427 · 3 months

Tell her you don't have enough chromosomes (sp?) for her

cranium_burg · 3 months

I work with people with similar special needs and see this happen with staff.. to the point staff dont come back. People with these disabilities etc dont realise personal space or relationship development. the problem starts when the person being imposed on in this way hasnt made it clear to the person with special needs that they are FRIENDS. and that is all. They wont be too hurt by this depending on their level of disability. Tell her special Ed teacher, and try to keep distance :)

justanothercommenter · 3 months

Go. Say yes, but with the understanding that you're only going as friends and that you think you like another girl.

ShawnGupta · 3 months

Look at her in the eyes and say "Narrrrr nurrr durrr durrrr nurrrrr."

LeNouvelHomme · 3 months

Why is saying yes going way too far?

Is she special ed like slight downs syndrome? Or special ed like can barely function without assistance?

Honestly, people with slight downs syndrome are not particularly less-functional than you or me. My mom is a special ed teacher and I helped out a lot in her class when I was in middle school and high school, and some of those kids were pretty on the ball. A few actually attended regular classes most of the day and then just a short time of the day with the special ed teachers mostly to learn to manage their condition independently.

I would definitely gauge the "amount" of special ed (as awful as that sounds). Chances are, if she is really all that handicapped, she probably will be over it in a few days if you say no. And if she's not all that handicapped, why not give it a shot? They're people too you know.

Oafah · 3 months

Why? I dated a girl with cerebral palsy once, and I ended up smearing her menstrual blood all over my face. Good times.

Edit: Here's how it went down.

elevensense · 3 months

Jingle some keys in her face and change the subject.

fthecorsage · 3 months

Just say your seeing someone else right now.

lickBallZ · 3 months

Down Syndrome have higher sexual drive than normal people

Kirowyn · 3 months

Tell her you'd love to do something as friends. You're not a jerk OR leading her on :)

lostsoldier · 3 months

explain Darwin's theory of natural selection

glitterbear76 · 3 months

I'd say take her out, be a gentleman, have a good time. If she wants to take it further, then politely let her know you just want to be friends.

xxxtyrantxxx · 3 months

just take her to dinner, it'll probably be the nicest thing you've done all week. don't be a douche

Related_Gifs · 3 months

Why don't you give her a chance? I'm not you, so you could have good reasons for wanting to say no, but why not?

bacon_taste · 3 months

Fuck her retarded brains out.

Purpose2 · 3 months

Just say 'it'd be great to go do something together - since you're such a good FRIEND'

BlacktoseIntolerant · 3 months

Just smile as you take it out. Maybe say something about her eyes.

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