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What do you absolutely believe is true even from lack of evidence? (self.AskReddit)
submitted 4 months ago by simplistic
I absolutely believe we are not the only "intelligent" life forms in this vast universe.
[–]UselessPenguin 462 points463 points464 points 4 months ago
They've made Wagon Wheels smaller. I don't care what the deniers say, they bloody have.
[–]ihavesixfingers 188 points189 points190 points 4 months ago
And Honeycomb. And Cadbury Creme Eggs.
[–]FairlyGoodGuy 250 points251 points252 points 4 months ago
And Cadbury Creme Eggs.
They shrank by 5g.
[–]rice-bubble 267 points268 points269 points 4 months ago
I KNEW IT
fuckers
[–]ShaunTighe 1255 points1256 points1257 points 4 months ago
Tilting the controller helps me turn faster.
[–]staff_sergeant_poop 670 points671 points672 points 4 months ago
And pressing the button harder makes you go faster.
[–]olvegg 363 points364 points365 points 4 months ago
That's actually true for most modern consoles
[–]MRX_II 37 points38 points39 points 4 months ago
PS2 had "analog" buttons, at least the X, easily noticed while playing Gran Turismo. Also, I think it maybe had analog triggers as well. When I was playing MGS2 on my PS3, leaning with L1/R1 was gradual, even though it was the original PS2 disc.
[–]ProjectOxide 21 points22 points23 points 4 months ago
the dual shock and the now retired SIXAXIS had pressure sensitive buttons, the 4 face buttons as well as the 4 triggers are pressure sensitive, i suppose analog would be an applicable term.
to be knowledge, the other consoles don't have pressure sensitive face buttons but they have pressure sensitive triggers.
[–]StillConfused 144 points145 points146 points 4 months ago
Don't forget to lean into it also.
[–]MistarGrimm 72 points73 points74 points 4 months ago
That and the fact that you can see around corners much quicker if you use your head to look around them.
[–]soitsmutiny 1595 points1596 points1597 points 4 months ago
That the universe is real, and you aren't all just figments of my imagination.
[–]Adraviss 714 points715 points716 points 4 months ago
Hey! i know you, you're the brain in the vat next to me. How are you?
[–]soitsmutiny 629 points630 points631 points 4 months ago
glub!
[–]ravenouscraving 157 points158 points159 points 4 months ago
Hey! How did you do that!?
[–]Vapsyvox 119 points120 points121 points 4 months ago
You can't brainfart on command.
[–]pryomancer 144 points145 points146 points 4 months ago
Captain Solipsism says fuck you!
[–]cralledode 1118 points1119 points1120 points 4 months ago
Being kind to others pays off
[–]kakemot 255 points256 points257 points 4 months ago
Only if you have a strong set of personal boundaries. Otherwise someone will use your kindness against you, and you will end up in bad relationships.
[–]2akurate 180 points181 points182 points 4 months ago
Thats isnt because of kindness but of a lack of self respect, being kind doesn't automaticly set you open for abuse.
[–]dayjawb 1429 points1430 points1431 points 4 months ago
That everything will eventually "work out" for me.
I cannot fathom a life where I am miserable and alone. I can't decide if it's because I need minimal things to make me happy or if it's a colossal case of denial that I could slip through the cracks of society.
[–]cloudfoot3000 180 points181 points182 points 4 months ago*
god i wish i felt this way.
edit: thanks for the words of support and advice, everybody. it's very appreciated. :)
[–]idnoego 74 points75 points76 points 4 months ago
I used to feel this way - then my life hit a terrible shit storm a few years back. It took me a while to work my way out of it, I think because I bought into the great American myth of meritocracy - that things always work out for the "good guys."
Accepting that I was knee deep in shit meant accepting I wasn't one of the "good guys," or abandoning the myth. It took me a while to figure out how to do that, but once you accept that it's really you who's responsible for your destiny, you get a lot more urgent about making sure that destiny's a good one.
[–]CptOblivion 45 points46 points47 points 4 months ago
Depending on your eating and exercise habits, you're also in charge of your own density.
[–]BeneficiaryOtheDoubt 275 points276 points277 points 4 months ago
Everything will "work out" if you have the will to make it happen. Life might take a dump on you but ultimately you'll be about as happy as you want to be.
Unless you get terminal cancer or something and all of your loved ones die.......
That's why Reddit exists. At least our online community is here. There, existential crisis solved.
[–]finallymadeanaccount 102 points103 points104 points 4 months ago
At least until the gummint takes down Reddit. :(
[–]BeneficiaryOtheDoubt 221 points222 points223 points 4 months ago
We'll exist somewhere. It won't be as good but there'll be internet forums to participate in, no matter how limited.
If not, and the internet is THAT broken, I'll just start firebombing as many gov't and media conglomerate buildings as possible. Cause fuck it, I have terminal cancer and my family is dead and now I don't have internet. Might as well start a riot.
[–]vinny962 20 points21 points22 points 4 months ago
"they can touch our balls at the airport, but they will never take our Internet"
[–]hardskapunk 230 points231 points232 points 4 months ago
The first time you try something, it goes better than sbsequent times (at least until you master it)
[–]Horst665 194 points195 points196 points 4 months ago
you are still a virgin, are you?
[–]Nyctalgia 28 points29 points30 points 4 months ago
Your brain starts over-analyzing things after the first blank dive.
[–]sausage_IN_SPACE 835 points836 points837 points 4 months ago
I get these weird feelings at particular instances of day-to-day life where I feel like I had already dreamed of the exact same moment.
[–]dayjawb 125 points126 points127 points 4 months ago
I get this feeling from time to time. I'm wondering if it's more your brain recognizing a certain feeling from a dream (boredom, excitement, fear, anxiousness, etc.) and building the memory of the dream out of thin air (as brains are prone to do).
[–]dogismyname 26 points27 points28 points 4 months ago
"The most likely explanation of déjà vu is not that it is an act of "precognition" or "prophecy", but rather that it is an anomaly of memory, giving the false impression that an experience is "being recalled".[2][3] This explanation is supported by the fact that the sense of "recollection" at the time is strong in most cases, but that the circumstances of the "previous" experience (when, where, and how the earlier experience occurred) are quite uncertain or believed to be impossible" -- The Big Book of Dog Tricks
[–]valkyrieleison 266 points267 points268 points 4 months ago
This happens to me fairly frequently, maybe once every week or two weeks. It's like a strong sense of deja vu but with an overtone of unreality. I would agree with dayjawb's explanation, except for the fact that several days ago I had an experience where I was having a very personal conversation with someone and that weird feeling came over me. Usually it's just a feeling that I've dreamed the situation sometime before, but this time I could remember this conversation's place within a really vivid, larger dream that I'd written down about a week or so before. I tried to stay calm and just sort of said what I remember saying in the dream, and got the same responses, until eventually she changed the subject and the conversation diverged from the dream. It was incredibly unsettling.
[–]cadeSILVER 132 points133 points134 points 4 months ago
Holy! I wasn't sure if anybody else experienced:
I tried to stay calm and just sort of said what I remember saying in the dream, and got the same responses, until eventually she changed the subject and the conversation diverged from the dream.
I can never remember the dream until the event occurs, but then I know what the next few sentences will be. MOST of the time I follow what I know I should say, but on occasion, I break from it.
[–]valkyrieleison 58 points59 points60 points 4 months ago
Out of curiosity, what happens when you break it? I didn't feel like I had that option, since it was a sensitive conversation, and it had gone well in the dream so it was like I was falling back on a tested script. I didn't want to risk deviating. Writing that out makes it sound completely crazy, though.
[–]cadeSILVER 63 points64 points65 points 4 months ago
Sadly nothing different that I can recall. No earth-shattering events or rips in the space-time continuum (that I'm aware of). I on occasion mention it to the person I'm conversing with, probably further fracturing my destiny. I am the worst kind of fated hero, obviously.
[–]relder17 39 points40 points41 points 4 months ago
You're probably experiencing something similar (or the same) as de ja vu. De ja vu is (put quite layman-y) just your brain sending your experiences to long term memory instead of (or in addition to) short term memory. What you're experiencing with feeling like you've dreamed of something before could be a similar thing.
I'm not a scientist or anything though so I could easily be wrong.
[–]Fjordo 17 points18 points19 points 4 months ago
What was explained to me is that the brain is a non-linear thinking system, and so at times it is possible to encode a memory before you finish the search for similar situations (which you are doing to know how to handle this situation). You are able to then find a crystal clear memory of the situation at hand, but unable to find a memory of how to resolve or continue it, because, obviously, it hasn't happened yet.
I find this occurrence extremely common. It happens at least once a month to me. I've learned to ignore it.
[–]allthecats 571 points572 points573 points 4 months ago
My cat understands English.
[–]Rose375 128 points129 points130 points 4 months ago
My cats do too. :) Also, one of them can walk through walls.
[–]labrys 184 points185 points186 points 4 months ago
i thought mine could too - then i saw how it actually got in to my locked bedroom - over the garage, across the top of a hedge, on to the conservatory, flying leap to my window cill, then through the window that's only open a couple of inches. All in absolute silence so it can scare the shit out of me when i roll over and it's right there in my face. devious little bugger
[–]CRAG7 31 points32 points33 points 4 months ago
And now we know how to break into labrys' house. See you tonight.
[–]vasterfar 323 points324 points325 points 4 months ago
I believe that certain people are just luckier than others. For instance, my brother can and will always find a parking spot right in front of the restaurant no matter how packed it is.
[–]oblivioustoideoms 160 points161 points162 points 4 months ago*
It's true, but maybe not in the way you think. One guy actually got the nobel prize for connecting perceived luck to results.
One famous experiment: First he ask the subject whether the feel like a lucky person or an unlucky. He then tells the subject to look through a bunch of magazines and newpapers and count the number of ads, for this he is given 30£ (or whatever money).. However(!), the 10th ad or so clearly states "YOU MAY STOP COUNTING ADS FOR THE EXPERIMENT NOW!".
It turns out that people that consider themselves lucky see that message and stop. So maybe you only need to think of yourself as lucky to be lucky since it's mostly perception.
EDIT: apparently he was not even considered for a Nobel prize, sorry to have wasted anyone's time. The study, however, is real and his name was Richard Wiseman.
[–]SmileAndNod64 62 points63 points64 points 4 months ago
I thought it was less just - perception and more the ability to notice oppurtunity
[–]ColdShoulder 54 points55 points56 points 4 months ago
That's essentially what the study suggested. People who consider themselves lucky are better at recognizing opportunities (and vice versa).
[–]2akurate 29 points30 points31 points 4 months ago
Luck is subjective, it exists only in your mind.
[–]jws32008 460 points461 points462 points 4 months ago
Idaho doesn't exist. It just can't.
[–]IHateNicolasCage 214 points215 points216 points 4 months ago
I've driven through it, there is absolutely nothing there. Maybe it doesn't exist and I was just driving in circles in northern Nevada for a couple hours, that would explain everything.
[–]imahotdoglol 134 points135 points136 points 4 months ago
I once read a geosites-ish page on idaho
"Do you know anyone who lives in idaho? No. You know people who know people who know people who live there, but you never meet asnyone who actually do."
EDIT: found http://www.fantasymaps.com/stuff/idaho.html
"Do you know anybody from Idaho? Do you know anybody who knows anybody from Idaho? According to the 1990 "census," there are over one million (1,000,000, or 1 x 106) people living in Idaho. But if there are so many Idahoers, where are they?"
[–]Humanstein 160 points161 points162 points 4 months ago
Note that no one had responded saying, "I'm from Idaho!"
[–]ninnymuggin 38 points39 points40 points 4 months ago
That's because we who are from Idaho hate to admit it. Only 2 things exist in Idaho: Mormons and potatoes.
[–]Excentinel 23 points24 points25 points 4 months ago
You forgot about survivalists and neo-nazis, but that's more north.
[–]CRAG7 10 points11 points12 points 4 months ago
So...are you mormon or a potato?
[–]generationH 53 points54 points55 points 4 months ago
I'm from Idaho!
Just kidding, I live in Canada.
[–]ReneG8 51 points52 points53 points 4 months ago
Same goes for Bielefeld.
[–]Ice_And_Fire 605 points606 points607 points 4 months ago
What OP said.
It's ludicrous to imagine that with the sheer amount of stars, both visibles and those way too far out there to be seen yet, each having a potential for many planets, that we would be the only planet having evolved a sentient life form.
[–]TheMemeMachine 1023 points1024 points1025 points 4 months ago
“Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.”
― Arthur C. Clarke
[–]Roombafollower 118 points119 points120 points 4 months ago
Makes me think of this completely heart breaking short story. "Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."
[–]non_anonymous 35 points36 points37 points 4 months ago
Read the article, busted out laughing when he said, "You know how when you slap or flap meat"
[–]brrrrrrat 52 points53 points54 points 4 months ago
It's actually called a Fermi paradox. It's the contradiction between the extremely high estimates of the probability of the existence of aliens and the lack of evidence for such civilizations.
[–]SubtleMockery 49 points50 points51 points 4 months ago
That has a few holes in it, methinks. After all, what evidence have we put out that would be noticeable from other stars? Just because we can't see it with our tech, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. And even something has seen us, it's mostly likely that, like us, they realize communication is pointless because lol relativity.
[–]halibut-moon 25 points26 points27 points 4 months ago
We only have existed for 100 years with the capacity to do any of that.
It would be quite the coincidence if all other intelligent life were behind us developmentally.
[–]syntaxeater 83 points84 points85 points 4 months ago
I was under the impression this thought was normal. What really jogs my brain is that life in the universe exists on scales beyond our perception. Right now we've got this notion that if it's <3 feet, it's a plant or at a microscopic scale, simple bacteria.
Carbon is the basis for life as we know it. We take drugs recreationaly that have other materials in the fifth position. We're not less alive than we are domicile - we just experience it differently.
What if the molecular forms of achieving self awareness is tabled at a higher or lower scale?
[–]scottmale24 180 points181 points182 points 4 months ago
I had to reread that over and over to figure out what you were saying, and then I realized you meant "less than three feet", and not "♥" feet.
[–]Acidyo 60 points61 points62 points 4 months ago
When I saw the <3 before starting to read the reply I was preparing for a sixteen year old facebook girl having written down her thoughts about life.
[–]Rebuhl 29 points30 points31 points 4 months ago
It is of course well known that careless talk costs lives, but the full scale of the problem is not always appreciated. For instance, at the very moment that Arthur said, 'I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle,' a freak wormhole opened up in the fabric of the space-time continuum and carried his words far far back in time across almost infinite reaches of space to a distant galaxy where strange and warlike beings were poised on the brink of a frightful interstellar battle. The two opposing leaders were meeting for the last time. A dreadful silence fell across the conference table as the commander of the Vl'hurgs, resplendent in his black jewelled battle shorts, gazed levelly at the G'Gugvuntt leader squatting opposite him in a cloud of green sweet-smelling steam, and, with a million sleek and horribly beweaponed star cruisers poised to unleash electric death at his single word of command, challenged the vile creature to take back what it had said about his mother. The creature stirred in his sickly broiling vapour, and at that very moment the words, 'I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle' drifted across the conference table. Unfortunately, in the Vl'hurg tongue this was the most dreadful insult imaginable, and there was nothing for it but to wage terrible war for centuries. Eventually, of course, after their galaxy had been decimated over a few thousand years, it was realised that the whole thing had been a ghastly mistake, and so the two opposing battle fleets settled their few remaining differences in order to launch a joint attack on our own galaxy---now positively identified as the source of the offending remark. For thousands more years the mighty ships tore across the empty wastes of space and finally dived screaming on to the first planet they came across---which happened to be Earth---where due to a terrible miscalculation of scale the entire battle fleet was accidentally swallowed by a small dog. Those who study the complex interplay of cause and effect in the history of the universe say that this sort of thing is going on all the time, but that we are powerless to prevent it. 'It's just life,' they say.
It is of course well known that careless talk costs lives, but the full scale of the problem is not always appreciated.
For instance, at the very moment that Arthur said, 'I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle,' a freak wormhole opened up in the fabric of the space-time continuum and carried his words far far back in time across almost infinite reaches of space to a distant galaxy where strange and warlike beings were poised on the brink of a frightful interstellar battle.
The two opposing leaders were meeting for the last time.
A dreadful silence fell across the conference table as the commander of the Vl'hurgs, resplendent in his black jewelled battle shorts, gazed levelly at the G'Gugvuntt leader squatting opposite him in a cloud of green sweet-smelling steam, and, with a million sleek and horribly beweaponed star cruisers poised to unleash electric death at his single word of command, challenged the vile creature to take back what it had said about his mother.
The creature stirred in his sickly broiling vapour, and at that very moment the words, 'I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle' drifted across the conference table.
Unfortunately, in the Vl'hurg tongue this was the most dreadful insult imaginable, and there was nothing for it but to wage terrible war for centuries.
Eventually, of course, after their galaxy had been decimated over a few thousand years, it was realised that the whole thing had been a ghastly mistake, and so the two opposing battle fleets settled their few remaining differences in order to launch a joint attack on our own galaxy---now positively identified as the source of the offending remark.
For thousands more years the mighty ships tore across the empty wastes of space and finally dived screaming on to the first planet they came across---which happened to be Earth---where due to a terrible miscalculation of scale the entire battle fleet was accidentally swallowed by a small dog.
Those who study the complex interplay of cause and effect in the history of the universe say that this sort of thing is going on all the time, but that we are powerless to prevent it.
'It's just life,' they say.
--- Douglas Adams, The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Chapter 31.
[–]Darth_AV83 469 points470 points471 points 4 months ago
That I have a 6 pack...No evidence. whatsoever
[–]I_call_it_dookie 246 points247 points248 points 4 months ago
I can buy you one, but that might be part of the problem.
[–]Cat_Fish 75 points76 points77 points 4 months ago
You know what's better than a 6 pack? A 30-pack.
[–]Corbenik 128 points129 points130 points 4 months ago
Actually, you probably do have a six pack. Most people do. It is just covered by fat.
[–]doesthismakesense- 67 points68 points69 points 4 months ago
It is just protected by fat.
FTFY
[–]dicksfish 332 points333 points334 points 4 months ago
Multiple universes, though the second science proved it was wrong I would accept it.
[–]BeneficiaryOtheDoubt 92 points93 points94 points 4 months ago
Not through the existence of other dimensions (which is possible), but what if our universe is a local existence suspended in a cloud of other universes, separated by distances similar in relation to individual atomic nuclei from each other?
[–]twitchygecko 52 points53 points54 points 4 months ago
Just had this discussion with my roommate, but added the point that what if everytime you step up a molecular size you add a dimension. So, basically we are a subatomic particle in a 5 dimensional universe, and we are made of subatomic particles that exist in a 3 dimensional universe.
[–]Aesirr 9 points10 points11 points 4 months ago
http://imgur.com/ZPV1w
[–]Doomcrow 646 points647 points648 points 4 months ago
Pippin: I didn’t think it would end this way.
Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path. One that we all must take. The gray rain curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass. And then you see it.
Pippin: What, Gandalf? See what?
Gandalf: White shores. And beyond, the far green country, under a swift sunrise.
Pippin: Well, that isn’t so bad.
Gandalf: No. No, it isn’t
[–]Wiles89 386 points387 points388 points 4 months ago
Except Gandalf as basically an angel who has communed directly with God. He not just making stuff up to make Pippin feel better. Find me one of those now that I can talk to and maybe then I'll believe in an after life.
[–]blazemore 269 points270 points271 points 4 months ago
Nice try, Gandalf.
[–]Cat_Fish 192 points193 points194 points 4 months ago
Wiles89 is now tagged as "Might Be Gandalf".
[–]blazemore 144 points145 points146 points 4 months ago
That's going to come back and confuse the hell out of you in 4 months time.
[–]Cat_Fish 85 points86 points87 points 4 months ago
I will never, ever forget this moment where I found that Wiles89 might be Gandalf.
[–]HydrogenHydroxide 84 points85 points86 points 4 months ago
Except this does not apply to mortals, they spend some time in Mandos' halls, bevore leaving Arda, and not even the Valar know what happens to them.
Gandalf knows only what happened to him and would happen to other immortal beings.
Only the immortal races bound to Arda get to see Valinor, with few exceptions. Mortals in Valinor still would die.
[–]kyzf42 89 points90 points91 points 4 months ago
Technically speaking, everyone goes to Valinor when they die, as that's where the Halls of Mandos are. Of course, that's a bit like saying you've seen Utah after a layaway at the Salt Lake City airport. At best, you saw a distant view of it from your window seat.
In this light, I suspect Gandalf's description would be pretty universal, as every mortal soul has to physically travel to Mandos first before moving on, so they would see that "far green country under a swift sunrise" on their way in. From there, Elves are permitted to go out into Valinor proper, Dwarves IIRC go to a special place prepared for them by Aule, while Men and Hobbits go onward into the Great Unknown.
TL;DR: Everyone gets a layover in Mandos. Hope they have wifi.
[–]cereal_killer7 67 points68 points69 points 4 months ago
TIL some people are really into LOTR
[–]kyzf42 22 points23 points24 points 4 months ago
You don't know the half of it.
[–]gradeahonky 573 points574 points575 points 4 months ago
Trusting your gut is the correct thing to do like, 85% of the time. And no other thing you may trust comes close to that accuracy.
Cool question by the way.
[–]SteelyThews 419 points420 points421 points 4 months ago
"Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."
[–]OTJ 207 points208 points209 points 4 months ago
well stop eating shit.
[–]alijohnstone 133 points134 points135 points 4 months ago
I tried that, but the gut cleverly turns everything into shit. Sneaky bastard.
[–]Waynus 76 points77 points78 points 4 months ago*
There was a TED talk about this. Apparently, there are some legitimate neurological explanations for this phenomenon.
For the lazy
[–]merirosvoja 122 points123 points124 points 4 months ago
I like how providing a link "for the lazy" makes it so those of us who aren't lazy are effectively forced to be so, or else ignore the link and stubbornly look for it ourselves
[–]wynyx 132 points133 points134 points 4 months ago
When laziness has no down side, you'd be foolish to do anything else.
[–]Karmakazee89 1490 points1491 points1492 points 4 months ago
Mashing buttons increases your chances of catching Pokemon.
[–]Del_Felesif 594 points595 points596 points 4 months ago
You gotta hold B-Down, man.
[–]waltshitman 404 points405 points406 points 4 months ago
only as soon as the ball begins to close
[–]slipknot6477 154 points155 points156 points 4 months ago
and every time it makes the wobbly noise.
[–]ImMrNiceGuy 9 points10 points11 points 4 months ago
and then release B as soon as the pokeball stops moving
[–]laddergoat89 157 points158 points159 points 4 months ago
That worked, don't ever tell me otherwise.
[–]toxicmischief 85 points86 points87 points 4 months ago
I still adhere to this in modern games.
[–]vinesfive 60 points61 points62 points 4 months ago
only thing in here that I truly believe
[–][deleted] 792 points793 points794 points 4 months ago
As a former Petsmart employee, thank you.
[–]williemcbride 789 points790 points791 points 4 months ago
Urgh agree. My friends boyfriend bought a pikachu on impulse because he just HAD to have her. He lives in an apartment, he's never home, and when guests come over he leaves the pokémon locked in a room for hours because "she can't control herself". Dude it's a PIKACHU and she can't control herself because she's a pokémon that you DIDN'T TRAIN.
[–]LurkerTroll 294 points295 points296 points 4 months ago
That's enough reddit for me scroll scroll
[–]Ridyi 13 points14 points15 points 4 months ago*
DAMMIT I was asleep or like 5 hours. How could Reddit have looped already?!
[–]diabloblanco 31 points32 points33 points 4 months ago
The turnaround on inside jokes is unbelievably fast. With so many references I don't think I can catch 'em all.
[–]TopHattedGentleman 228 points229 points230 points 4 months ago
That we are creating a hivemind through input of information on the internet.
[–]kt00na 73 points74 points75 points 4 months ago
I am a node of Server, born of flesh and blood, but enhanced by the power of its web. Information is the blood of my body. I am a part of the greater Network. I am host to the vast data of Server.
My flesh is weak, but my connection is eternal, and therefore I am a god.
[–]getfuckingreal 87 points88 points89 points 4 months ago
That my dog understands when we have deep conversations with him.
[–]mmzznnxx 745 points746 points747 points 4 months ago
Couches are sentient things that are able to grab and steal remotes, and love to do so.
[–]trauma_queen 251 points252 points253 points 4 months ago
sounds like an awfully Douglas Adams-y thing to think of. It must be true.
[–]Ermott 54 points55 points56 points 4 months ago
I cover my couch with a towel to prevent it from.stealing my cellphone and keys.
[–]Wyzack 11 points12 points13 points 4 months ago
This man is one hoopy frood who knows where his towel is.
[–]SirPumpALoaf 88 points89 points90 points 4 months ago
I frequently fart into every couch I sit on. Fight the good fight!
[–]DrawsMediocreReplies 150 points151 points152 points 4 months ago
Those sneaky bastards
[–]Specific_Mime 110 points111 points112 points 4 months ago
That there is a race of some kind that intentionally fucks with people's shit. For example, yesterday on my desk was a calculator. When it was time to do homework I looked for my calculator which I was SURE was on my desk... it was not. So I looked around my apartment for 20 minutes checking my desk every 5. After the 20 minutes I said, "Fuck it." and sat on my bed, I looked up and there it was, on my desk, right where I left it. I am pretty sure that asshole said something like, "That asshole barely even looked for it... What a dick stick. C'mon Derrek lets get some fucking tacos." Either that or the noise was a breeze coming through my window. But Derrek and his friend are jackasses.
[–]gristc 25 points26 points27 points 4 months ago
I hate Derrek.
[–]goodcigar 99 points100 points101 points 4 months ago
I really want to believe Chevy Chase is a nice guy at heart. There's something about him that just makes you hope there is a gentle soul underneath the dickish exterior.
[–]bramannoodles 9 points10 points11 points 4 months ago
There isn't, unfortunately. My dad did some video stuff for a local news station, and was filming an interview with him. The interviewer had on a particularly awful wig. At one point after the interview, he yanks it off and says, "What's this?" Sorry about that. I guess I'll go rain on somebody else's parade, now...
[–]TryingToSucceed 411 points412 points413 points 4 months ago
I don't absolutely believe it, but I really want reincarnation to be a thing.
[–]simplistic[S] 207 points208 points209 points 4 months ago
I think a lot of us really do want to believe in reincarnation just for the mere fact that it allows us to live forever, without actually living forever (if that makes sense).
[–]TryingToSucceed 60 points61 points62 points 4 months ago
I don't like that aspect of it. I just would like to know what it would be like to be a completely different being/person/whatever. It would be finite in my ideal world, but to the point where I would have to experience almost all facets of life. The great and the destitute. Where it gets better or worse depending on how you did in your previous life.
[–]ekedin 120 points121 points122 points 4 months ago
This is a cool story kind of about what you're saying if you haven't read it (reddit lol)
[–]omplatt 30 points31 points32 points 4 months ago
When i read this story a couple of years ago it changed my life.
[–]frenzyboard 33 points34 points35 points 4 months ago
You mean it changed my life.
[–]omplatt 28 points29 points30 points 4 months ago
our life
[–]frenzyboard 14 points15 points16 points 4 months ago
Right. My life.
[–]OrangeCityDutch 19 points20 points21 points 4 months ago
conservation of mass/energy is kind of like reincarnation.
[–]meedly 302 points303 points304 points 4 months ago
Love.
[–]thelurchguy 278 points279 points280 points 4 months ago
What is love?
[–]Semper_fi_guy 456 points457 points458 points 4 months ago
Baby don't hurt me
[–]Fullmetal78745 106 points107 points108 points 4 months ago
Nothing is true, everything is permitted
[–]Adraviss 34 points35 points36 points 4 months ago
ASSASSIN!!
[–]freerangehuman 332 points333 points334 points 4 months ago*
That she actually somehow likes me.
crawls under table and curls up into a ball.
EDIT: Oh right, thanks for the tons of advice regarding my attempt at self-effacing humor. Let me just clarify things without going into details. Sorry, I don't know you well enough to get into that. There might be lack of evidence of attraction. But there is plenty of evidence of the opposite, maybe even strong type of opposite, if you know what I mean.
[–]TheWereRabbit 168 points169 points170 points 4 months ago
Go talk to her. You just might be right.
[–]MillsonWillson 140 points141 points142 points 4 months ago
This cant end well.
[–]vetmode 305 points306 points307 points 4 months ago
Better an end with terror than terror without an end.
[–]Infinator10 82 points83 points84 points 4 months ago
Better nate than lever.
[–]strangeplace4snow 71 points72 points73 points 4 months ago*
I believe we're all better off if we're not being dicks to one another. It's not as obvious as you'd think; maybe the planet would have been devastated by overpopulation thousands of years ago if we weren't being dicks to one another. But I don't care, I still believe it.
[–]tomaka 83 points84 points85 points 4 months ago
I can't say that I absolutely believe this, but in the last few years I've been pondering about God and the state of the universe.
I was raised an atheist, so I have no belief in a God, but I kind of wonder about the universe as a whole. With all those trillions of planets and stars and nebulae and whatnot, how do we not know that the universe itself isn't alive? Maybe all those stars and planets respond to one another like neurons or molecules, making the massive universe into something like a brain, with everything operating on an unfathomable, inconceivable scale. We would be nothing in the grand scheme of things; merely little atoms atop a neuron. And no matter what we do to this planet, short of destroying it there's very little we can do to interrupt the flow of the universe. This universal 'brain' could be self aware or not, and could be conceived as a sort of god, but it would ultimately have very little power. It wouldn't be able to affect the movement of the stars or time or anything really, it would simply just be.
Maybe this will make sense to some people, and maybe I'm just crazy and these are my crazy thoughts.
[–]icelolly 171 points172 points173 points 4 months ago
Different types of alcohol effect people differently. I can drink vodka all night and be fine. I've polished off over 20 standard drinks easily. 3 beers and I'm shitfaced.
[–]chippewhattha 129 points130 points131 points 4 months ago
Someone's watering down the vodka.
[–]caustic_banana 66 points67 points68 points 4 months ago
Upvoted for comically imbalanced capacities.
[–]vetmode 19 points20 points21 points 4 months ago
You might want to watch your bartender when he pours your drinks. :)
[–]xpda 109 points110 points111 points 4 months ago
I am self aware.
[–]Quake48 301 points302 points303 points 4 months ago
I was the person who coined the term "asshat" I used it way back in 8th grade and now its viral. NO ONE WILL BELIEVE ME
[–]JoshSN 309 points310 points311 points 4 months ago
Asshat over here thinks he coined asshat.
[–]poorly_timed_gimli 10 points11 points12 points 4 months ago
AND MY ASSHAT!
[–][deleted] 92 points93 points94 points 4 months ago
I'm sure you definitely thought of it without hearing it first in 8th grade, but I wouldn't say you coined it. Many times I'll think I've thought of something original, and it will already be a thing.
Hell, I'm not good with explaining, but I've upvoted nearly everyone in this thread, so just take mine.
[–]Iseeredditpeople 28 points29 points30 points 4 months ago
No, you are just one of many who thought of it all at the same time.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hundredth_monkey_effect
[–]valhallaswyrdo 138 points139 points140 points 4 months ago*
Every minor detail of every decision we make or choose not to make has an impact on the universe, the butterfly effect edit If you cant tell by my name im a viking, the norse kind not the Minnesota kind, On my right forearm is a tattoo that says WYRD, google it.
[–]dona3000 38 points39 points40 points 4 months ago
I don't see how this lacks evidence. Of course everything you do has an effect.
[–]PeasantKing5 348 points349 points350 points 4 months ago
That people are good.
[–]mortymight 177 points178 points179 points 4 months ago
Except for the people who aren't.
[–]bigblue1276 137 points138 points139 points 4 months ago
Being a firefighter in a rural area, I tell myself that's why I do it, until I see Billy Joe-Bob crying over losing Dale Earnhardt collectibles in the fire. Then I realize I'm just an adrenaline junky.
[–]anyalicious 310 points311 points312 points 4 months ago
My friend, who lost everything when her house burned down, sat in the lawn while the firefighters put out the destroyed wreckage and cried over her collection of shot glasses she'd collected. It was massive, from all over the world, and whenever someone approached her and comforted her, that's why she said she missed. But later on down the line, months later, she said the idea that she'd lost everything, all her family photos, the stuffed animals her father bought her, the memories, the pain, for some reason crying about the shot glasses was easier than crying about the utter destruction of so many things of sentimental value. You see people in the throes of confusing despair, because who actually thinks their house is going to burn down? You watch them deal with the fact that the things they once cared about so much were nothing more than ash. A life's work is wasted. So maybe Billy Joe-Bob is crying over a Dale Earnhardt collection. But maybe Billy Joe-Bob is actually crying over being completely, utterly lost. Earnhardt might be the easiest thing to admit to, instead of pure devastation.
[–]IGottaSnake 49 points50 points51 points 4 months ago
And now I will be backing up every photo and scanning in every negative I have, as well as getting a deposit box for important papers. I keep saying I need to do it, but it is never a priority. My birth certificate is irreplaceable, as are my adoption papers, and I would be so destroyed if the pictures were gone. I always worry about a fire and think about the pets and my son, but at least protecting that stuff isn't hard... just takes some time set aside to do it.
[–]Onlysilverworks 146 points147 points148 points 4 months ago
Spontaneous Combustion. When I was 14 I had to do a presentation for my English class. Everyone else talked about their dog or their last holiday. I did mine about spontaneous combustion and was the only kid in class to get full marks. Since researching it then, I am still convinced it is a true phenomenon. Arguments against it always point out that the burned victim (whom is now a pile of ashes) was almost always beside a source of heat. I like to crush that argument with the fact that it takes between 2800 and 4000 degrees CELSIUS to cremate a body. That and there being over 100 documented cases of localised cremation in the last 50 years. When I say localised, I mean confined to the arm chair the said person had been sitting in, with little to no damage to the room.
[–]Onlysilverworks 28 points29 points30 points 4 months ago
Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spontaneous_human_combustion BBC COURT RULING! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-15032614 What i made my talk based on http://www.crystalinks.com/shc.html
Hope this helps! Great topic, if you learn a few of the facts you will be a hit at parties :D
[–]Kateysomething 20 points21 points22 points 4 months ago*
I saw something about spontaneous combustion on Unsolved Mysteries when I was like 8 and I had nightmares for like, 4 years. Edit: And by 4 years I mean still.
[–]Gringos 16 points17 points18 points 4 months ago
Wouldn't life be so much more exciting if stuff would spontaneously explode at random?
[–]shaaaft 99 points100 points101 points 4 months ago
There is someone billions and billions of light years away, who is just playing a really elaborate gave of Civilization CCLVII right now, and that is our existence. I hope he doesn't rage quit.
[–]hckynut 9 points10 points11 points 4 months ago
He seems to have stepped away from the game. And let his kid finish out the game for him.
[–]CitizenPremier 85 points86 points87 points 4 months ago
I'm damn good looking.
[–]deathmaster436 63 points64 points65 points 4 months ago
That I wont die alone.
[–]tyson31415 25 points26 points27 points 4 months ago
"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone."
-Orson Welles
[–]misterraider 20 points21 points22 points 4 months ago
Everyone dies alone.
[–]Boden 172 points173 points174 points 4 months ago
That girls poop.
[–]The_Adventurist 122 points123 points124 points 4 months ago
My ex girlfriend texted me once saying that ants were crawling into her bed and I told her that a good fart would clear them out, she responded with, "I don't do that".
[–]CynicalTyler 15 points16 points17 points 4 months ago
Wait, does that work?! BRB, have to go get some ants...
[–]holocarst 28 points29 points30 points 4 months ago
DON'T DO IT! Methane is a pheromone for them and they try to crawl up your ass!
[–]CynicalTyler 38 points39 points40 points 4 months ago
OH GOD THE ITCHING DOESN'T STOP
[–]tragopanic 93 points94 points95 points 4 months ago
Green M&Ms taste better than blue ones.
[–]regeya 9 points10 points11 points 4 months ago
Having met someone who can identify M&Ms colors while blindfolded, I believe this.
[–]Jon2397 153 points154 points155 points 4 months ago
I'm just going to leave this here ...
[–]no_fucks_frankly 426 points427 points428 points 4 months ago
A shared subconscious with the people surrounding you. Things like thinking of a song and someone next to you sings it as a direct response to your thoughts.
[–]Luung 75 points76 points77 points 4 months ago
As a paranoid person who's constantly afraid of things like people on the bus hearing my thoughts, I sincerely hope this isn't true.
[–]freerangehuman 73 points74 points75 points 4 months ago
Relax, other people hum Nickelback songs in their head too.
[–]ariellecyan 82 points83 points84 points 4 months ago
Funny. Something similar just happened to me.
[–]megablast 161 points162 points163 points 4 months ago
"I'm too sexy for this shirt"?
[–]sapincher 196 points197 points198 points 4 months ago
GET OUT OF MY MIND.
[–]cdank 97 points98 points99 points 4 months ago
Wanna see something crazy? Next time you're out walking or driving, stare intently at people who have their heads turned away from you and start mentally judging them. Like 80% of the time they either start looking around or turn around and look at you. It's fucking weird. Like they can feel your eyes on them.
[–]The_Adventurist 51 points52 points53 points 4 months ago
I used to do this in middle school and I was convinced I had super powers because it worked so often.
Conversely, I hate hate hate that feeling of being stared at when I can't find the source of the staring.
[–]mechanicalhuman 155 points156 points157 points 4 months ago
I think there's truth to this. But not that people can hear your thoughts, but more along the line that thought patterns are regular and predictable. A popular, but not obvious trigger can cause multiple people to start thinking down a certain path. If 2 people have enough things in common (like if they are both the youngest child, male, science majors, ate hamburgers that day...) they can get to the same conclusion at the same time. One person thinks lincoln park, and the other starts singing, "Crawwwwwllinnngggg in my Skiiiiinnnnn....."
[–]Tschis 99 points100 points101 points 4 months ago
linkin park?
[–]mechanicalhuman 21 points22 points23 points 4 months ago
yes
[–]finallymadeanaccount 41 points42 points43 points 4 months ago
Jung's collective unconscious?
[–]im_not_a_girl 143 points144 points145 points 4 months ago
JFK was murdered by the US government.
[–]Iwokeupwithoutapillo 211 points212 points213 points 4 months ago
Magic exists. It's... it's just gotta, man.
[–]arthur_figgis 23 points24 points25 points 4 months ago
There was a kid at my high school who was convinced that if he tried enough things that had never, ever been done before, he might unlock a cheat code. One time he rearranged all the desks in a classroom into a swastika. Another time I was washing my hands in the bathroom and heard someone scream "ADORABLE!" in one of the stalls. Yep.
[–]sentimentalpirate 139 points140 points141 points 4 months ago
It does. And you're a muggle, and you will never know firsthand the wizarding world, muahahahaha.
[–]TenBeers 227 points228 points229 points 4 months ago
You mean I've lived in this cupboard under the stairs for six years for nothing??!!
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻)
[–]SubtleMockery 27 points28 points29 points 4 months ago
Psionics, ESP, Sixth Senses. Not telepathy or talking to the dead or telekinesis, but more like.... we can feel/hear/smell things that our conscious brain isn't aware of. Spidey Senses, so to speak. And I wouldn't say I "absolutely believe" in it, rather that I... feel it to be true.
[–]bobbyvee 187 points188 points189 points 4 months ago
Majority of politicians, both democrats and republicans, are trying to run this country into the dirt.
[–]arthur_figgis 60 points61 points62 points 4 months ago
They're not trying to run it into the dirt, they're trying to get rich. It just so happens that, as a consequence, they're running the country into the dirt.
[–]simplistic[S] 109 points110 points111 points 4 months ago
I agree, except there actually are evidence of that!
[–]IceCreamSocialist 63 points64 points65 points 4 months ago
Is there any evidence against it?
[–]smzayne 9 points10 points11 points 4 months ago
That I'll live forever... I haven't been able to quite wrap my brain around the idea of not existing anymore... Of not having a conscience.
Fuck now I'm sad.
all it takes is a username and password
create account
is it really that easy? only one way to find out...
already have an account and just want to login?
login
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