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[–]stonebone4 269 points270 points ago

Don't give a shit about what people think. Everyone is as insecure as you.

[–]HopkinGreenFrog 34 points35 points ago

Yes. Realizing this was a game-changer.

[–]Honey_Baked 2 points3 points ago

This changed my entire outlook on life.

[–]pawsforbear 37 points38 points ago

This is dumb, but I recently subscribed to this notion. I never danced but I wished I was a good dancer. I stopped giving a fuck and I fucking break it down on the dance floor. I get a couple "Youre a good dancer!" I usually call em out but they say they like the effort I put in to it. Fuck it, man. Goes with clothing, asking girls out... being honest. All kinds of shit. Life is so much better when you give 1/4 fewer fucks.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]otterspace 2 points3 points ago

"Smoke, drink....don't think!"

[–]emkayL 16 points17 points ago

this and no one else knows what they are doing.

are you scared at the first day of your new job? most likely everyone else is on their xth year there. do you not know what tomorrow holds? neither does anyone else.

[–]JerkingOffToKarma 8 points9 points ago

Or even more so.

[–]NINJADOG 21 points22 points ago

Nothing good ever came from being shy. Ever.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

I don't know maaaaan... I kinda like shy chicks.

[–]ThisOpenFist 10 points11 points ago

That latter fact actually bothers me more than the alternative. I can't stand dealing with people who self-hate. I've stopped talking to people because of it.

[–]msblaster 61 points62 points ago

Saving money and having good credit is very important. Found that out the hard way.

[–]jackiepanda 15 points16 points ago

seriously. thanks mom and dad...

[–]adaminc 12 points13 points ago

Debt doesn't just suck, it sucks on a life altering level.

[–]thedevilyousay 15 points16 points ago

I feel like this is good general advice, and I would have loved to have followed it. I used to hear it all the time from people. The only difference is that the people who said it had way more fucking money than me..

Yes, congrats on buying a condo right after graduation. All that saving really helped (as well as the down payment graduation gift from your parents). It must have also been nice to be able to save for that trip to South America, as opposed to paying your own tuition, rent, food and razor blades. Now that we're all working, it's very important to save money and invest in mutual funds, rather than pay the exorbitant mandatory minimum on the over 100K outstanding student loan debt.

Yes, saving money and having good credit is amazing. But for some people, it's simply not possible.

[–]Spretty21 6 points7 points ago

I wish someone had really forced this on me sooner. My boyfriend is excellent with his money and is responsible with his credit card and has maintained a decent savings for a kid his age. His mom did a great job making sure he knew these things were important... My parents didn't. lol. I'm trying to make up for it now though :)

[–]pilsner407 189 points190 points ago

It's 100% easier to show up and do what is expected of you, no matter how much it sucks, than it is to come up with some reason why you didn't.

[–]DangerousPlane 11 points12 points ago

This is good advice, but it's important to have a clear idea of what's reasonably expected of you. Some people, especially at work, will base their expectations solely on what they think they can get you to do.

[–]prokaryt88 11 points12 points ago

The same idea is in my dad's favorite motto "Success is easier than failure"

Amazing how true it really is

[–]don_pace 7 points8 points ago

Wow, this is genius.

[–]pizzaeagle 1 point2 points ago

OK but what if you're really fucking hungover.

[–]rezaramon1 39 points40 points ago

Only give as much information as necessary.

[–]RecycleThisMessage 40 points41 points ago

Don't worry what other people think about you, bacause odds are they aren't thinking about you at all.

[–]Badly_Timed_Ron_Paul 12 points13 points ago

Ron Paul 2012!

[–]Houseoflions 31 points32 points ago*

Rejection isn't a big deal. Every winner has gotten to where they are because they've learned from their losses. So FAers, just ask her out. I've worked in Sales and I learned that you will most likely get rejected the first few times if you don't show confidence, but even if you do get rejected it's simple probability, so don't give up. The more you practice the better you get, leading you to success.

Edit: Added some words to clarify.

[–]Fell_On_Black_Days 3 points4 points ago

Coming from a recent rejection, I needed to read this.

[–]jaspersgroove 208 points209 points ago

Never make life-changing decisions based on the assumption that a friendship will last.

[–]idream 63 points64 points ago

Never make life-changing decisions based on the assumption that a relationship will last.

[–]ThisOpenFist 27 points28 points ago

What if it's that serious?

I really don't like all the absolutes you folks are dishing out.

[–]HX_Flash 50 points51 points ago

Reddit is full of siths.

[–]jaspersgroove 10 points11 points ago

What happens when your boss hires you, but you have to move across the country to work?

[–]SomethingWittyasfuck 52 points53 points ago

you get the fuck out of a romantic comedy.

[–]jaspersgroove 7 points8 points ago

People change their lives over professional relationships every day, how the hell is that part of a romantic comedy?

[–]gkow 2 points3 points ago

You should probably stay in it since that's a sure fire way for everything to end up great.

[–]BunniculaHunterD 3 points4 points ago

"some women choose to follow men and some choose to follow their dreams - if you're wondering which way to go, just remember your career will never wake up and tell you it doesn't love you anymore"

[–]Procris 11 points12 points ago

In this economy, are you sure?

[–]jaspersgroove 8 points9 points ago

Tell that to 30 million Americans.

[–]ijwatson 4 points5 points ago

So what was the life changing decision you made? How were you ultimately let down?

[–]jaspersgroove 7 points8 points ago

Some other post, some other time... not today.

[–]ijwatson 0 points1 point ago

Ok no problem. In your own time :)

[–]differentside 11 points12 points ago

You can't stress this advice enough. Friends will come and go, but your family will always be there, no matter what.

[–]dustlesswalnut 54 points55 points ago

Always there, sure, but if they're unhelpful now, they're going to be unhelpful later.

My friends are worth a thousand times what my family is.

[–]tyRAWRnnosaurus 15 points16 points ago

I think that what we should be taking away from this is not to make any life-changing decisions without understanding that every relationship comes to an end eventually.

[–]dustlesswalnut 5 points6 points ago

Including family.

Edit: But yes, I agree with you.

[–]tyRAWRnnosaurus 0 points1 point ago*

Yes, everyone except for your own self. Even then, that person is bound to change. It doesn't mean not to love and make decisions with that in mind. It just means be aware when you do that it's probably not going to last.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago*

Friends will come and go, but your family will always be there, no matter what.

no, they won't, but it's a nice thought, so i don't blame you for not thinking about it too much.

[–]jaspersgroove 4 points5 points ago

For sure. I try not to think about how different my life would be if I had not made this mistake 6 years ago.

[–]Quinny86 6 points7 points ago

When I was younger people would say to me "boys come and go, but friends are forever", I learned the hard way that friends will also come and go, that saying sucks.

[–]Raven776 5 points6 points ago

My aunt stole my grandmother's ashes and hid them away from my family before cutting off all communication with us.

[–]jakebluu[!] 3 points4 points ago

I disagree with that.

[–]francesmcgee 31 points32 points ago

I spent most of high school and college worrying about finding a boyfriend, thinking I would feel "complete". Turns out that it's really hard to have a good relationship when you aren't already self-satisfied. Probably two weeks after I realized this and became happy who I am, I met the love of my life.

[–]CallTheWAHmbulance 23 points24 points ago

This might be the hardest thing I will ever do. Getting into a relationship seems to be like getting a loan from a bank; if you want it, you have to convince them you don't need it.

[–]Maison_Bourbon 2 points3 points ago

This same shit happened to me!!! I stopped caring and looking for a girlfriend and boom, one month later I meet this girl and I friggiinnn luuuuuuhhh her.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

It's a shame you're gay.

[–]TinyPlasticWolfMeme 1 point2 points ago

Learning to love yourself is the first part of a relationship.

[–]AKA_Squanchy 54 points55 points ago

She was into you ...

[–]ThisOpenFist 11 points12 points ago

Ugh. Ninth grade, beginning of high school. I had her attention, but I didn't have my wits.

It was a long time ago, but it mattered to me then.

[–]BlockoManWINS 6 points7 points ago

Along the same lines: just press "send."

[–]Ziyad786 5 points6 points ago

I had a crush on a close friend in 7th grade. She obviously suspected it, and kept asking who I liked, but I was too shy to admit it. One day she cornered me and I finally told her I liked her, and she completely stopped talking to me. Fast forward SIX years, we're close friends again, talking and she tells me she liked me in Grade 7, but she wasnt ready for a relationship so she stopped talking to me. I just about lost it then and there, seeing as i had two years of massive insecurity. We havent dated yet, even though everyone can see the potential. My own mom told me I was probably gonna marry this girl.

[–]VastDeferens 28 points29 points ago

Stop hating yourself. Sure, you can improve. But stop with the hating.

[–]leep420 104 points105 points ago

Adults are merely large children

Common sense isn't common

Cut people you don't like out of your life, even if they're family. Be fair and give everyone a chance first, but life is far too short to let other people bring you down.

[–]davidline 4 points5 points ago

Very true words.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

love this. 25 and am just now seeing these 3.

[–]xradsirx 88 points89 points ago

You are the only one that keeps track of your mistakes.

[–]kingtimmy 78 points79 points ago

until you get married.

[–]JerkingOffToKarma 19 points20 points ago

...and then have children.

[–]NH4NO3 19 points20 points ago

...and when you retire, you can play the crazy old guy card.

The cycle repeats!

[–]ckennington 12 points13 points ago

And subversion, or other code repository if you happen to be a software developer.

[–]NecroSyphilis 5 points6 points ago

no one bothers to look into old branches

[–]stillercity 20 points21 points ago

You CANNOT always control what happens to you, but you CAN control how you react to it. Once I learned that, I became a much happier person.

[–]mauxly 43 points44 points ago

My uncle told me that there were two kinds of women in the world.

One woman says "But I LOVE him!"

The other woman says "I love him...but..."

The second woman lives a fulfilled and happy life. The first woman winds up in a shelter with a restraining order against him.

That struck home.

[–]gamegyro56 28 points29 points ago

Then there's the third woman who says "I love him butt."

[–]Ziyad786 33 points34 points ago

She's probably Jamaican.

[–]Mattpointgrat 1 point2 points ago

And then there's "Butt: I love him."

She's schizophrenic and thinks that butts are people.

[–]ThisOpenFist 13 points14 points ago

Similar:

"I love you because I need you."

"I need you because I love you."

The first is using you, the second cares about you.

[–]sunsunsun 67 points68 points ago

There is no such thing as karma. Life is unfair. Sometimes, good deeds aren't rewarded and sometimes bad deeds aren't punished. This does not absolve you of your responsibility to do the right thing.

[–]Brillians 30 points31 points ago

If there's no karma, you've just ruined thousands of redditors' lives.

[–]ignoramusaurus 17 points18 points ago

yeah, it annoys me when people say 'people always get what they deserve' - they dont.

[–]pizzaeagle 8 points9 points ago*

I don't think you understand the concept of karma. It doesn't mean that some force in the universe keeps score and doles out favors based on good deeds. It just means that, in general, you get what you put in. For example if you are an angry, critical person all the time, then that's the lens you're going to see the world through. You're going to be an unhappy person. Similarly, if you are a greedy person, then material possessions are all you will care about and you'll never be truly happy.

[–]ArPak 19 points20 points ago

As a man, don't make any important decisions when you're one of the following;

Horny

Hungry

Tired

[–]TheBurrowingOwl 5 points6 points ago

As a woman, don't make any important decisions when you're one of the following:

horny;

hungry; and

tired.

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points ago

"you weren't fat at age 12 even though you felt that way, by giving up then, you grew into a fat person that no one likes."

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points ago

Looks like I'm not the only one. I swear to god, looking back at my past, it looks like I just decided I was the fat kid after years of harassment and then decided to just do my best to live up to it... So when I was slightly chubby at age 11 and being harassed non stop by asshole kids for being "fat", it's like I just decided to give up then.

I remember a very depressing question at age 16 from another friend who saw a childhood picture of me in the surf at a beach "dude, what happened, you used to be skinny?" The sad part is, when that picture was taken, I already thought I was fat because everyone else told me that..

[–]fco83 2 points3 points ago

Man, its like i'm reading a page from my own book.

[–]lovevolcano 2 points3 points ago

Did you forget to change accounts?

[–]Doolay 1 point2 points ago

you sir speak the truth!

the way I remember it, I was bullied as a kid and was constantly called a fat ass at age 10 (I wasnt) the way all the kids ganged up and continued it for atleast a year made me believe I am fat, after fighting and got ganged up on, I believed them and gave up.. and boom, I became morbidly obese untill last year when i saw pics when i was 10 yrold...

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points ago

The best way to meet people is to get involved in formal activities wherein you work together towards a goal. Also, say hi to people, be a good listener, be nice. You will never have any friends sitting at home watching TV.

[–]Napalm4Kidz 24 points25 points ago

The fuck is TV?

[–]Freezer_ 26 points27 points ago

It's what people did to waste time before reddit.

[–]DudeManBroBrah 5 points6 points ago

We need more people like you. Seriously.

[–]iPwnnn 17 points18 points ago

Yeah, more people like napalm for kids.

[–]Hyper-bowl 16 points17 points ago

When it comes to paper work, especially government or business related beuarocratic nonsense, always take an extra 5 minutes to follow up and make sure everything is up to date, or else you could be in for a world of trouble.

[–]The_Prince1513 66 points67 points ago

Being smart, athletic, popular, sociable, well rounded, all that crap they try and shove down your throat in high school isn't really what makes people successful.

The only thing that really matters, when it comes down to it, is self-motivation. Most of the people who are really successful get there because their motivated. The successful businessman? He motivated himself to make connections and make sure people remembered him. The successful doctor? Motivated himself to kick ass in school. The successful rocker? motivated himself to practice his guitar for 5 hours a day and go out and score gigs. Etc.

Find something that will give you a kick in the ass when you need to get something done and use it as much as possible and you'll go far.

[–]slvrbullet87 28 points29 points ago

People who don't believe hard work will eventually pay off are dooming themselves to a life of mediocrity.

[–]cjt09 21 points22 points ago

While hard work is important, make sure that you're also working smart. I know people who have worked incredibly hard on useless pursuits or worked quite inefficiently and never reached their potential. That triple major in Russian, History, and Sociology is going to be a lot of work with little benefit. Don't follow their example, you don't want to end up like ol' Willie Loman.

[–]GlitterBerri 7 points8 points ago*

I disagree. I say do what you love and find a way to make it work for you. It all ties into the motivation thing. If you like something enough, you're going to be far more likely to search for opportunities to turn it into a career.

For example, I enjoy translating video game related stuff, like retro developer interviews and unused/unseen content, from Japanese to English. That may seem like a pretty specific area of interest, but I have my own website and I'm starting to get paid for what I do. I recently got a position doing weekly articles at a big gaming website that will host my stuff as well. This has all come through my own efforts.

[–]mamacrocker 28 points29 points ago

No one can make you happy but you.

And by this, he meant that if I don't decide to take control of my life and do what makes me happy, nothing anyone else can do will ever be enough. He was right.

[–]adorne 4 points5 points ago

YES! Don't let yourself even think that someone else will make you happy. Don't even let them try. It's all up to you.

[–]kylem92 75 points76 points ago

Fap before you make any important decisions

[–]lajksdgbiu 36 points37 points ago

Fap on it. Best advice ever.

[–]BlockoManWINS 18 points19 points ago

That moment of post-release clarity. It's like a cheat code

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

What if the important decision is whether I should fap or not?

[–]oneofthosepeople 17 points18 points ago

Then I think you have your answer

[–]connietang 12 points13 points ago

Get your shit together, NOW.

[–]JamaisVue 11 points12 points ago

Going in to university for something you're interested in is only good until you realize you can't make a career out of it. Think it through. It's okay if you need to take off a few years before making a decision, especially one that can be so costly and time consuming.

[–]derpyslerps 10 points11 points ago

People can't read your mind as to how you feel. You like the girl? Tell her. It really isn't that big of a deal. In fact, I have done it lots of times. Worst that ever happened: we stayed friends. Im not good looking, just straight foreward and honest. That is the best way to be IMO.

Oh and what shocked me, a lot of the time people feel the same way you do. Like the first day of school or the first day of work. You aren't the only anxious and nervous one. Its normal.

[–]TTTA 9 points10 points ago

That one girl? The one you write about and chase after for two years?

Yeah, she's a lesbian. It's not you, it's your penis.

[–]iseewatudidthere 9 points10 points ago

It's OKAY to be single. I am married now, and as much as I love it, I wish I would have spent more time being single before I met him. I was naive.

[–]quintiliusvarus 19 points20 points ago

Life is a lot shorter than you think it is.

You're going to wake up one day and find that you're on a track that's determined by your previous choices - whether you like it or not - so either take risks and live with the consequences of them not working out sometimes (aka marrying the borderline personality disorder cheerleader captain) or play it safe and dont be pissed that things are a lot more boring than they could have been. You dont have a lot of control over most of the variables that factor into the success or failure of many of those decisions either (no matter what Herman Cain might tell you) - so even if you decide to take risks that, in retrospect, might have been bad decisions (aka wife at the time screaming at you 'THE ONLY REASON I WANT TO GET PREGNANT IS SO I CAN DIE IN CHILDBIRTH") it's ok. You will make bad decisions - or regret not making decisions quickly enough - it's part of life - dont sweat it - but understand that it's going by a lot faster than you think.

TLDR - 'and you may ask yourself... well, how did i get here?'

[–]lady-jade 2 points3 points ago

All of this..

ESPECIALLY..

so either take risks and live with the consequences of them not working out sometimes...or play it safe and dont be pissed that things are a lot more boring than they could have been.

Go in with your eyes open either way.

[–]Zondervanb 7 points8 points ago

For some reason, nobody ever got around to telling me not to procrastinate.

[–]Krust50 8 points9 points ago

Always keep some money in an account no one except you knows about. Saved my bacon more than once.

[–]BScatterplot 17 points18 points ago

There's always money in the banana stand.

[–]beefwich 41 points42 points ago

Here's a short list of what impresses girls:

  • Confidence
  • Being extremely good looking

And you can make up a lot of ground with the former if you're short on the latter.

[–]BScatterplot 25 points26 points ago

I guess there really is more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.

[–]jakebluu[!] 8 points9 points ago

What the fuck?

It's hard being black. I never know if I'm good looking or not because most of the good looking Guys on tv are white.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

You're good looking. Don't worry. :)

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

You could always watch Animal Planet for a better perspective.

[–]jakebluu[!] 9 points10 points ago

Holy shit, bro. That was a low blow.

Most racist thing I've seen this year. Upvote because you probably didn't mean it.

[–]insertfunnynamehere 5 points6 points ago

I spent twenty minutes looking for a picture of a handsome black presenter on Animal Planet to salvage the joke, but it turns out knee2theface was just being an ass.

[–]the_nun 10 points11 points ago

"Don't not be good looking"

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

" 'You miss 100% of the shots you don't take' -Wayne Gretzky" - Michael Scott

[–]AduroNox 6 points7 points ago

They've been teaching you wrong. pi is a ratio

[–]Knightari 8 points9 points ago*

You don't need inspiration, motivation, the right feeling of being ready to get things done. To get things done, you simply need to do the things you want to have be done just like that without relying on feelings. Even if you don't know how to do it yet, do it anyway unless it's crippling or lethal and you'll learn it on the fly. You won't remember the discomfort or pain anyway after you are dead so better use the time you have to do something great.

To not feel lazy, don't act lazy. That's easier done than felt.

[–]thesmokethatthunders 4 points5 points ago

Learn how to play an instrument and keep playing.

[–]gregarious_m 41 points42 points ago

Watch Seinfeld.

[–]PoopMachin3 4 points5 points ago

curb your enthusiasm for old people

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

You are the only 'you' there is, love it, own it and be the best you that you can be.

[–]Aham 5 points6 points ago

Always carry a condom.

[–]stunt_butt 4 points5 points ago

Tailoring yourself to people is completely counterproductive to what you're trying to achieve. People tend to like people who like themselves, and uniqueness is refreshing.

[–]stupidfuckhead 5 points6 points ago

dont post the same question on reddit

[–]DanBowie 6 points7 points ago

Do stuff for yourself, i know that it sounds selfish but just because no-one else wants to do what you want to doesn't make it wrong or scary, I'm currently backpacking alone and have never been happier, if i felt that i needed others to be happier than my ambitions i would be stuck in some dead end job sad and miserable

[–]adorne 10 points11 points ago

No one gives a fuck if you're sad. Stop stalling around and make yourself happy, because no one else will.

When someone tells you about their misfortune, don't tell them about how you experienced worse. It makes you an asshole.

[–]pinkwolfsally 30 points31 points ago

There's probably no god. That thought sounds depressing at first but then when you think about it, it's actually wonderfull because it means that there is no one in charge! no one! No one is running the show! That means technically, nothing really matters, literally. So essentially, life really is what you make it!! :)

Also, though you need talent for success in life, things like persistance, passion, enthusiasm, personability, and oppurtunity matter much more. And most of all, it's the people who are able to adapt to change that are the most sucessfull.

Work towards not giving a fuck. Don't take things so personally. Lots and lots of people are assholes, ignorant, or both, so what they do to you isn't about you really.

Don't learn about sexual technique from porn. Porn is meant to look good, not feel good. Learn about sex by having a signifigant other or fuck buddy, and exploring eachother's bodies togeather, or by reading some good instructional books.

Be openminded. Be empathatic. Think critically. Always learn and try something new. Have an opinion. Listen to other's opinions. Be curious. Love.

even if it's on sale, don't buy that fabulous jacket/dress/whatever, if it doesn't fit. If you don't have fit, you don't have anything. Also, get a good tailor. It's worth it.

Learn proper conflict resolution - it's a very underrated, but usefull skill!!! While you're at it, learn a useless skill so you aren't bored at parties. My useless skill is that I can sherlock people - you know like on the Mentalist. Well not as good as the guy from the Mentalist but you get the idea.

Sorry, that's all I got, I'm only 26 :/

[–]menace64 17 points18 points ago

It took me 22 years to turn away from God. I've grown into a personal understanding that paints the universe as wholly impartial. Objectivity is all around us. Good and evil are illusions. Someone murdering somebody else (yes, even me) is, from the true objective standpoint, utterly irrelevant.

What you said about no one being in charge was the catalyst in turning this drab, entirely-depressing state of mind into a framework of, well, beauty. It took me an entire year of truth-seeking to get it. Since there is absolutely no need for life - or real reason for it - it is up to each individual life-bearer to decide, personally, that for which it continues to be alive. This decision is fluid; it can be altered or ignored at any time, for any reason.

I was able to reconcile the death of my God and this radical perspective by realizing that my heart is my heart and I wasn't living a certain way only to appease a deity. So now I see Good as what I define it to be, yet I realize that all definitions of it are as valid and as invalid as my own. My life's mission is to help everyone and anyone to find their own fulfillment.

Sorry for the mostly-unrelated wall of text. This stuff is in my head all the fucking time and I rarely see an opening to express it. Feel free to call me a humdrum.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

i want you as my life coach

[–]gamegyro56 2 points3 points ago

learn a useless skill so you aren't bored at parties. My useless skill is that I can sherlock people - you know like on the Mentalist.

How do you/I do this?

[–]pinkwolfsally 8 points9 points ago*

I don't really know exactly. I just seem to have an aptitude for reading people and situations. I had no idea I could even do it untill one day in college when a teacher did one of those ice breaking things for the first day of class, and asked the class something like "what can you say about me just by looking at me?" Most people couldn't think of much but I was able to tell him all about himself with about 80 percent accuracy. I thought this was normal before that.

I think that you have to be one of those people/learn to be one of those people, who is good at the following: 1) Being very detail oriented, 2) being able to see things for what they really are(like an artist who knows that snow is made up of many colours and textures, and isn't just white like most ppl think), 3) someone who always asks why - why things happen the way they do, why people do things the way they do etc, 4)being good at general logic, deductive reasoning, general knowlege of general things (why did does that person have dust on their shoes? How did it get there? Why are they wearing a ring like that - what does it imply about their life situation/personality/priorities etc? what is that scar from? a specific kind of surgery? why did they need it? what does that say about the kind of person they are?) 5) be good at reading body language and facial expressons. This is the hardest but most usefull part. Communication is 80 percent non verbal so it would benefit anyone to learn all about bodylanguge and facial expression, if, for nothing else, to be able to tell if someone is lying to you.

These are the skills that 'fortune tellers' have, and use to deceive you. They aren't magic. If you get really good at this stuff, you can do that thing that magicians do, where they guess the name of your pet or something - it takes a lot of practice and I can't do it yet. But all it is, is looking at the person's very subtle body language in reaction to your own verbal cues. It isn't magic at all. It's a fun party trick though. And in your business life, it behooves you to get people to remember you. And it's kind of fun!

So I practiced and also read a few books, and soon you can get good at it. It can give you an advantage in terms of social interaction because knowing as much as possible about a person you are interacting with is always an advantage. Particularily if you can even try to predict their future actions.

But remember, this is an art and a science and it isn't 100 percent accurate so be mindfull of sterotypes and remember to give ppl the benefit of the doubt.

[–]gamegyro56 2 points3 points ago

Ok thank you very much.

you have to be one of those people/learn to be one of those people, who is good at the following:

I'd like to think I'm good at those things, but I don't know if I'm one of the 90% of people who think they're above average.

and also read a few books

What books would be good? Or what genre of book talks about this? (like, should I google "reading people" or...)

[–]pinkwolfsally 4 points5 points ago

if you aren't good at those things, you can probably still learn them - it will just take longer to get good at them. Like almost anyone can learn algebra, it just takes some longer than others because math is fucking hard and evil and it makes me hate everyone and everything. My brother is good at it and loves it, and my best friend is ok at it.

There are bagillions of relevant books out there but none are specific, like 'how to sherlock someone'. Read books written by 'magicians', mentalists, poker experts etc. There are lots of books about the science and art of body language and facial expression that you could read up on. Also it would be good to learn the basics of emotional intelligence (as opposed to IQ) and how to be good at social interaction, since being good at social interaction will only help you. You could research general knowlege type things on the internet case by case (ie if you don't know why someone is wearing that unique ring, google it and then you will know for next time). Doing logic games and puzzles will also help you. Read philosophy books and learn to think creatively and out side the box.

I think the rest is observation. When you're bored, people watch and think about who they are. I was a history major in university so I am interested in all types of history including people's personal histories. Sometimes I think about who people are -and everythign about a person's appearance, body language, speech etc, can tell you all about that. I am fascinated about why people do things or act the way they do.

Being able to sherlock someone is like being able to draw a characture of a person, only not with a paintbrush. Most artists will tell you that if you don't have a talent for it, you can still learn it, but it's hard. It's hard BUT possible.

[–]ViciousRN 1 point2 points ago

Upvote for appropriate usage of the word "behooves". Killer.

[–]shadowraptor 7 points8 points ago

Don't go to law school. It's too late for me, but you can be saved!

[–]Levski123 3 points4 points ago

Absolutely everything in this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfq_A8nXMsQ

[–]Natwiggles 5 points6 points ago

No matter how hard you try, you can't please everyone. Not all people will love you and you have to be okay with that.

[–]diodeforjustice 4 points5 points ago*

There is no single proper way for doing anything. It may seem like there has to be an easy answer when it comes to asking "how?", but this is rarely the case. You just have to try what you think will work, and go with it. That's what everyone else does. It doesn't matter whether you're making friends, asking someone out, doing homework, getting a job, creating something you came up with on your own, or doing something else.

[–]Flonkkertiin 3 points4 points ago

If you have sex with her you might just find yourself stuck with her for the rest of your life, so choose wisely my friend

[–]hddrummer 4 points5 points ago

Never do something for fear of looking stupid, because no one cares if you look stupid except for you.

[–]Bletz 4 points5 points ago

You can only grow from experience. Try new things and try them often.

[–]rcrracer 4 points5 points ago

"And then one day you find. Ten years have got behind. No one told you when to run. You missed the starting gun."

[–]AvrintheAWESOME 14 points15 points ago

Don't do anything you might be ashamed to tell anyone close to you.

[–]slvrbullet87 15 points16 points ago

I would rather not tell my grandmother about the sex me and my girlfriend had yesterday, doesn't mean i am going to quit having sex

[–]neksus 23 points24 points ago

Your grandma fucked your grandpa and knows your mom fucked your dad. She knows what's up.

[–]hamlet9000 2 points3 points ago

"Ashamed" is the key word here. If you, personally, would be ashamed to tell people that you're having a sexual relationship with your girlfriend, then you shouldn't be having a sexual relationship with that girl.

(Note, too, that it's you who's ashamed: If your grandmother is a sexual prude who would be ashamed for you, that's irrelevant.)

[–]lady-jade 2 points3 points ago

Amen.

Shame thrives in secrecy.

[–]credoincaseum 7 points8 points ago

Don't be needy. Girls like winners, so act like one.

[–]johnsmcjohn 10 points11 points ago

"Why should I learn this shit? It's not like I'll ever use math in real life!"

True, but if your job doesn't require any education beforehand, odds are the wage you're paid for it will reflect that. Now stfu and study. Better to have life suck now and get a decent job, than to slack off and endure a life of shit jobs.

I REALLY wish someone had told me this when I was younger.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Velfarr3 9 points10 points ago

have you seen a ginger?

[–]murfreesborojay 24 points25 points ago

disregard females..acquire currency.

[–]Initforthecats 29 points30 points ago

This young rich guy was told you need to put people over money. When you die there will be no one to offer you water at your bedside. So he gives up the fast life and gets a good solid job. Stops hooking up with a different chick every night. He marries a loving woman and has several children and does all the good loving father/dad stuff. Many years go by and he is on his death bed with his family and close friends crowded 'round. He takes a deep breath and says, "When I was young I was told to stop the playboy lifestyle and get myself a family so I would have someone to offer me water. And you know, I'm not even thirsty."

[–]Aww_Shucks 17 points18 points ago

"And come to think of it, I don't feel weak or sick anymore either. Let's go get ice cream."

And so the man get out of bed, goes to the bathroom to change, and leads his family out of the hospital.

Fucks given as he walked out: 0

[–]JerkingOffToKarma 6 points7 points ago

Just go out and do it. Try new things and don't be afraid. Making a mistake is better then not doing it at all. Just live your life to the fullest and ignore what the people who don't matter say.

[–]icameintoadarkroom 5 points6 points ago

Don't love what doesn't love you back.

[–]Hmfuhm 3 points4 points ago

You don't need to deal with his or her bullshit- but you don't need to be an ass over it.

Long story short, been tolerating a douchebag asshole for three years before I finally got fed up and straight up told him "being around you makes me unhappy, and I respect you as an individual and enjoy debating with you.. occasionally. But I can't do this anymore."

He took it quite well.

Another girl on the other hand, not so much. But in the end, it was worth it.

[–]DanBowie 3 points4 points ago

Do stuff for yourself, i know that it sounds selfish but just because no-one else wants to do what you want to doesn't make it wrong or scary, I'm currently backpacking alone and have never been happier, if i felt that i needed others to be happier than my ambitions i would be stuck in some dead end job sad and miserable

[–]cakerawr 3 points4 points ago

Live for happiness. If you find yourself upset, quite dwelling. It could be worse. You're lucky to have what you have, and nothing's going to change that. Stuff gets better, you just have to look for the good points.

Also, if you feel other people don't understand this, don't resent them for being upset over less depressing situations than yours. Just try to make them happy, because we're all headed the same way, and happiness is really the goal of everything we do.

tl;dr- Live for happiness (and try to help others understand this too).

[–]Domojin 3 points4 points ago

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

[–]thenextadventure 4 points5 points ago

Never give up on the love of your life. No matter how hard it gets.

[–]last2zero 2 points3 points ago

Don't be intimidated by anyone -

Just tell yourself they might be cranky because they're constipated.

It makes dealing with people much easier.

[–]YummyMeatballs 4 points5 points ago

"Actually, it really doesn't get any better."

I could have done with hearing that about 10-15 years ago.

[–]Msaho91 4 points5 points ago

Don't think you can't get pregnant, because you can.

[–]tigbits 5 points6 points ago

Do NOT fart in the shower. I learned the hard way. your welcome

[–]FalconOne 5 points6 points ago

My dad tried to warn me not to marry someone, he was right, and she ended up breaking me and ruining my ability to trust other women.

[–]el_chief 4 points5 points ago

wikipedia is smarter than most general doctors. ask for a specialist if something is wrong with you.

[–]juliet8718 2 points3 points ago

Sad reflection of US healthcare. That being said, don't trust all medical information you read on the internet.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

Don't stick your dick in crazy.

[–]bemcgee 14 points15 points ago

Problem is, your dick is very strong-headed and you might not realize you stuck your dick in crazy until its already too late.

[–]mauxly 6 points7 points ago

The problem is, the dick is crazy and is attracted to crazy. So the minute you realize that you are thinking with your dick, it's time to go rub one out.

[–]farmerjack 55 points56 points ago

WOW I HAVE NEVER HEARD THIS ON REDDIT BEFORE!

[–]PleasantlyOffensive 4 points5 points ago

Seriously.... C'mon. Played the fuck out.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

OK, moron who regurgitates bumper sticker wisdom, what should I stick my dick in? Please, enlighten me. So far, in my almost 40 years on this planet, I've noticed that EVERYONE IS FUCKING CRAZY. To greater and lesser degrees, every single woman I've ever known, and every single man I've known, is fuckiing batshit loco. If I follow your advice, I get to fuck either my hand or a cantaloupe. Is that your fucking sage advice? Fuck melons? Whack off and never have sex with someone else?

No, really, let me know. Tell me how it is I'm not supposed to stick my dick in the crazy when every other human I meet is crazy to some degree. In your own time. Let me have this amazing fucking wisdom. Give me the secret.

Or you can shut your stupid fucking pie-hole and go crawl in a corner to die, like the retard you are.

[–]bkbeezy 4 points5 points ago

Hey, there ain't nothin wrong with melons...

[–]fco83 2 points3 points ago

I think this piece of advice is my response to the OP.

[–]xZeroking 7 points8 points ago

As someone who regularly tries to stick their dick in crazy, let me tell you, don't touch crazy, don't talk to crazy, and avoid crazy at all cost.

[–]samhudson333 9 points10 points ago

High school is really fucking important, stop dicking around on the internet and do your homework for christ's sake.

[–]slvrbullet87 8 points9 points ago

If anything high school teaches you how to learn annoying and boring shit before you have to pay to learn annoying boring shit in college so that you don't get passed over for a promotion at work because you don't know how to tough through annoying boring shit when you are working.

[–]EdgarAllanPwn 11 points12 points ago

I kinda disagree. I fucked up big time in high school and dropped out. Now I'm well on my way to medical school and just finished this semester with a 4.0 GPA. I could have been where I am now faster if I had done well in high school but it matters not one fuck to me.

[–]cp5184 2 points3 points ago

Use your free time in high school to find our what you like to do and what you don't like to do.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Roth IRAs are awesome.

[–]fco83 2 points3 points ago

-Ask her out. You may not be able to see it now, but she was into you.

-Confidence makes up for a lot when it comes to most things in life. Especially the first piece of advice.

[–]BornWithCuriosity 2 points3 points ago

Life is too short not to do what you want to do. Don't focus so much on trying to keep everything the same, embrace change when it comes. Situations may be bad, but you choose how to react to it. Don't let things overwhelm you, work it out to the best of your ability.

Oh, and be the best you can be. Don't purposely screw up thinking you won't ever change.

[–]otwp12 2 points3 points ago

You do what you love, and fuck the rest.

[–]FongoBongo 2 points3 points ago

That money is a means to an end and should never be valued more than your health

[–]Grlmm 1 point2 points ago

Shit happens. Do your best, and you'll be alright.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

trim your pubes. not shave, just... trim

[–]grandhighwonko 2 points3 points ago

No one is going to save you. You can have a happy life but you're going to have to make it yourself.

[–]Manzanita12 4 points5 points ago

one gallon of gas will not fill up the whole tank in a car

[–]Bacontron 3 points4 points ago

You dont need to hunch to cover your moobs

You just look like a dumbass

[–]shlomo_california 3 points4 points ago

don't lend money to friends

[–]ronjremy 5 points6 points ago

I was told, "you never lend money to friends, you give money. If they pay you back, that's a nice surprise."