What is the most vapid, facepalm-worthy, pseudo-inspirational quote you know of?

DandyTheLion · 6 months

Here comes the king of bullshit:

A girl asked a boy if she was pretty. He said no. She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever. He said no. She then asked him if he would cry if she walked away. He again said no. She had heard too much. She needed to leave. As she walked away, he grabbed her arm and told her to stay, he said, "You're not pretty, you're beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever. I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I would die."

I see this one on my facebook every once in a while and it irritates me to no end.

PoisonMind · 6 months

I once found a piece of paper in my college cafeteria that said "Tolerance is the highest form of love." I showed it to my girlfriend and said "I tolerate you."

meccarecca · 6 months

[deleted]

shmishshmorshin · 6 months

"'Iloveyou' is better than 'I love you' because there's no space for lies". Fuck my life.

ActionKermit · 6 months

Without a doubt it's this one:

A girl finds out she has ovarian cancer, and can't find a donor. She tells her boyfriend but he doesn't even look up from the TV. The girl finally gets a donor and after the surgery asks her mum "Who donated the ovaries?" That girl visits her boyfriends grave everyday.

TreLeans · 6 months

I think we can just skip ahead and say every single senior quote in my High School Year book.

LunchHooks · 6 months

Anyone who says something to the effect of "living life to its fullest". Especially when I know they pretty much live their life to the mediumest at best.

ghiiirocker1 · 6 months

"Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I'm trippin'? Tie my shoes. Cant stand me? Then sit down. Cant face me? Turn around." if i hear that phrase one more time a lot of people are going to die ಠ_ಠ

MaPh · 6 months

"S(he) be(lie)ve(d)." At least it's a nice big red flag not to talk to them anymore. edit: Made it grammatically correct.

Neon_Monkey3 · 6 months

Here's one I've heard:

"Love is like a butterfly. Let it go, and if it comes back to you, then it was meant to be".

...What?

thyyoungclub · 6 months

All the quotes preteen girls write on facebook about "being a woman".

"GIRLS are like cell phones, they like to be held and talked to, but press the wrong button and you're disconnected. GUYS are like buses. If you miss that one, another will be along soon."

shit like that

pgibso · 6 months

"Being in love means never having to say you're sorry.". Eh what?

jrrowe · 6 months

I hate these things: "R.I.P the 31 Troops who were killed in a helicopter crash today in Afghanistan. I bet no one cares. Repost & Like if you do."

Don't try to guilt me in to participating in your fucking chain-letter.

rekrap · 6 months

The worst I've seen is: "Living Life 100 Proof!"

BITCH! Proof goes to 200. You're living life at 50%? light-weight.

amlight · 6 months

Someone had the audacity to say to my terminally ill mother "This too shall pass".... WHAT?!

societyghosts · 6 months

Found a terribly tacky website for 14 year old girls. Can't stop the terrible quotes.

don't ever call a girl fat; 'coz you don't know how far she'll go to prove you wrong.

Every girl has an Edward and a Jacob, she just doesn't know it yet.

When you make a guy laugh it's like, Scooooooooooooooooore! ♡

S[he's] Br[ok]en instead of saying goodbye you should have said, "brb" cause you will be back, in my dreams. <3

I weep for the future.

SWEGEN4LYFE · 6 months

But tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

jaded_fable · 6 months

"Art Is Love" - Shut the fuck up. Art covers the entire range of emotions- including hate.

lift_or_die · 6 months

"Only God can judge me"

If you use this quote, I will judge the shit out of you.

JessieAppleseed · 6 months

"Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. ♥"

So false.

jaggy_roundy · 6 months

I've seen this as a tattoo on a few girls:

"Laugh as much as you breathe"

Although you might end up with ripped abs, you would also suffer insomnia, be disregarded as a nutcase, and ultimately become terribly depressed, which would completely go against the 'meaning' of the quote. This shit is just poorly thought out.

katffro · 6 months

"Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash. Get to know someone random. Be random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at stupid jokes. Cry. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell a jerk what you think. Laugh till your stomach hurts. Regret nothing."
Someone like that sounds really fucking annoying. Also, spending all of your money? What kind of idiot move is that?

provides_apparatus · 6 months

"Full speed ahead, and fuck the icebergs" - Captain of Titanic.

FuriousNipples · 6 months

"You called me a bitch. Bitches are dogs. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. (: so yeah... thanks for the compliment. (:"

sscrofulous · 6 months

That shit about "dance like no one is watching, love like whatever whatever..."

roshpit · 6 months

Anything from The Secret. I forced myself to get through the whole book after hearing so many people praise it, and by the end I wanted to fucking rip my eyes out and mourn for humanity. The whole book is full of meaningless pseudo-scientific bullshit that just absolves people of responsibility and promotes laziness, whilst hiding under the guise of being an 'inspirational read'.

danheinz · 6 months

let me go to my friend's sister's profile...

"friends are like a good bra. Supportive, hard to find and always close to your heart."

I replied "and easy for me to get off with one hand."

Mycareer · 6 months

"Here's to the times we'll never remember with the people we'll never forget." -every sorority girl's Facebook

DeWallen · 6 months

"Music is the soundtrack of your life." Yes, it is, and it is also the soundtrack of everything that has a soundtrack. I don't get it. It's like saying that food is the nourishment of the body.

violentlyshy · 6 months

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsbk0efZ7o1qbpwzeo1_500.jpg

"No girl believes she is beautiful, until a guy comes along and makes her feel like she is."

it's SUCH bullshit. it's telling girls that they are not worth anything until they are validated by a guy. it's telling girls that they NEED validation in the first place. it pissed me off so badly when i saw it. i see it all over girls' tumblrs.

redditmakesmesmart · 6 months

"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."

--from the movie HITCH.

JXiaty · 6 months

"Live every day like it's your last" If you did that, every day probably would be your last.

Ifunctiononkitkats · 6 months

That awful "shoot for the moon, if you don't makes it you'll land amongst the stars. Bleh.

bootys · 6 months

Live laugh love <3

questionslp · 6 months

Many go through life, some see the colors.

FUCK YOU I'M COLOR BLIND!

carlythesniper · 6 months

That stupid Marilyn Monroe quote that every Annoying Facebook Girl uses as a way to justify being a huge bitch.

"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best," or whatever. If your "worst" is just how you ALWAYS ACT, no one's going to put up with it.

Plexicraft · 6 months

Everything Yoko Ono tweets. Seriously, go to twitter now and look her up. It pretty much was made for this thread.

Manhattan0532 · 6 months

Cy&H

chileconcarne · 6 months

You'll always know more in the future than you know now.” ― Taylor Swift.

What the fuck.

TheStaggeringGenius · 6 months

"Real eyes realize real lies." This makes blood shoot out of my ears.

willworkforicecream · 6 months

Eagles may soar, but chickens don't get sucked into jet engines.

noughtagroos · 6 months

"Everything happens for a reason."

True, I suppose: The reason I beat you into a pulp is that you said this while trying to comfort/preach to/scold/congratulate me and couldn't think of anything more meaningful to say than this.

The worst is when people say this to comfort someone who has suffered a loss. Don't tell someone their loved one's brains are splattered on the freeway "for a reason" or as part of some "plan." Because if they are, someone's gonna pay.

Jmsnwbrd · 6 months

"There's a saying that goes, 'People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.' OK. How about, 'Nobody should throw stones'? That's crappy behavior. My policy is, 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation." Demetri Martin

pootertime · 6 months

Stupid "I'm a girl so I'm stupid, but love me anyway!" quotes. Like this:

"I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it."

"She knows nothing at all about life...but everything about living!"

"You're only as strong as the cocktails you drink, the tables you dance on, and the friends you hold on to."

"Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world."

And froufrou bullshit like:

"Let your let shine!"

"Trust your journey!"

"Wherever you go--no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine"

Luc20 · 6 months

I hate it when couples post stuff like 'You're my Romeo!' 'and you're my Juliet!' Good now go kill yourselves.

adsr · 6 months

"Life is like photography – we use the negatives to develop" It makes me want to push her into oncoming traffic.

snikerpnai · 6 months

"You can't trust most quotes found on the internet"

-Abraham Lincoln

SS1989 · 6 months

"Good things happen to good people".

What a bunch of bullshit.

Aint_got_no_agua · 6 months

That crap about "Life isn't measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." What's the point of this one? Who's out there measuring life in breaths? "Ain't_got_no_agua passed away today at the age of 87,458 breaths. He is survived by a low karma and a pretty decent bluray collection."

Edit: I think this also means Asthmatics live the best of all possible lives.

Arphahat · 6 months

" We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over. " This one is great when used by political extremists justifying their position. Sorry, no, moderation is sometimes necessary.

My favorite self-created saying is: "Living your life according to a catchy or clever sounding phrase is probably a bad idea."

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