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[–]MissyPeeStinkbottom 15 points16 points ago

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I am the kind of person that really rushes into relationships. My current relationship happened very quickly--we said "I love you" about six weeks in--but I've been pretty lucky. We celebrated our three year anniversary in March and he is an amazing dude.

[–]h0serdude 6 points7 points ago

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6 weeks for my wife and I too. We went on 2 actual dates in one week I think and then we were pretty much living together after that because it just felt right. We've been together 4 years and our 2 year anniversary is next month.

[–]YouWorkForMeNow[S] 4 points5 points ago

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That's fantastic! Congratulations!

[–]MissyPeeStinkbottom 2 points3 points ago

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Thanks! I'm not a very lovey-dovey kind of girl but I definitely want to keep my guy... He's the best.

[–]YouWorkForMeNow[S] 3 points4 points ago

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Really? You're not a lovey-dovey kind of girl? With a username like MissyPeeStinkbottom, you could have fooled me!

Haha, just kidding of course. Thanks for the input!

[–]FuZ3 11 points12 points ago

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It has never occurred to me to get into a relationship with someone I didn't love.

[–]BarryPepito 0 points1 point ago

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I was looking for that answer, why wait if you feel you're in love... still don't get it... For me, it more like you give the impression you're not sure how you feel. And if you have doubt at the beginning... well it's certainly not a good idea at the first point

[–]Court_of_Lies 9 points10 points ago

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It depends. I have known people who say they love someone within a few months of dating and one in particular is now married. I say it whenever i mean it, if I do love someone then I say it.

Why does a time limit need to be imposed? Either you love them or you don't.

[–]YouWorkForMeNow[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Well, I guess I forgot to put it in the text box, but we're both young guys (20 years old) and I just feel that my friend doesn't know what "love" really is. When it's your first time around, it's sometimes hard to tell the difference between love and a fling, especially after only 2 months.

You make a good point though, of course. I for one however, would struggle with whether I knew what it felt like to be in love or not. But maybe that's just the OCD talking

[–]bpjj 2 points3 points ago

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I don't believe age matters either. I am getting married at the young age of 20. My fiance and I have been dating for about 2 months before we said we loved each other. In our 3 year relationship we took a 6 month break and dated around. I now know that he is the only one that I want to spend the rest of my life with.

[–]gigaquack 4 points5 points ago

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Do it. Lots of people marry young and it often works out as you get to grow up and develop together. Don't let reddit's pessimism toward the institution get you down.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Don't do it. At your age, you are still changing very rapidly as a person. Marriage is not going anywhere, and if you two are right for each other you will still be together in a few years. Don't do something that you may very well regret soon.

[–]Court_of_Lies 0 points1 point ago

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I told my current girlfiend I loved her after 4 months. It just felt right, I think that when you know, you know.

[–]stuffypillow 0 points1 point ago

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I think your questions are really interesting. I think it's a tempting idea, that at some point you don't know what love means, but I think that waiting until you know what it means creates this relationship standard where love is one specific feeling and "I love you" becomes a phrase that would only explain one feeling. I think "I love you," just like any phrase can have many meanings, and I think it is interesting to track how your idea of love changes, or even the way you love one person. I think it's an interesting point that you could dilute the power of an "I love you" and it would definitely be a wonderful experience to say it only a few times during your relationship or even life and have it mean something very very powerful. That said, I think it's also very enriching to realize the many different things that love can mean and different things it makes you feel to say it.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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I was in a relationhip long enough to know to say I did not love her, that was a much better lesson, every fool falls in love

[–]YouWorkForMeNow[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Wise words. I wish I could tell that to my friend, but that is something you'll never truly get until you figure it out on your own.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know, I know I was a fool enough to go for a girl once, I was completely mad about her and I really thought she was the one, she did not think the same way. She broke my heart in so many ways I still cannot describe it, but the experience was totally worth it. Going for things is always worth it because you at least stay true to yout heart and do not have any regrets,

[–]Kowai03 7 points8 points ago

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Yeah I'm terrible..

I told my boyfriend that I loved him after four days... Yeah I'm bad.

I don't know.. I guess I just really loved him as a person. He was fantastic, friendly, outgoing, funny, intelligent, handsome etc. I couldn't help it. I guess I just knew how I felt about him, come what may. I can even remember the moment it hit me.

5 years later we're still together :]

[–]clonekisses 2 points3 points ago

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There's nothing "terrible" about that! If you knew you loved him, you loved him, there's nothing wrong with that!

[–]Kowai03 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah but thinking back it comes off as a little 'crazy'. I wish I had've waited a bit long to sort of throw myself at him like that... Just held my cards closer to my chest I suppose.

It's one thing to know I love him but another to have him love me back. I hope I never overly pressured him or anything like that.

[–]rooniedcfc 0 points1 point ago

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that's not bad! i think it's pretty weird that some people wait so long

[–]piacocco 4 points5 points ago

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I say it when I feel it.

Also, I tell my close friends that I love them. I come from a particularly expressive culture so it's very natural to me. Also, hugs. I love hugs.

[–]botticellilady 7 points8 points ago

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You say it when it's right. Two weeks into dating, this guy and I spent a weekend incommunicado. When he came back, we knew we were just madly in love with each other. He was 19, I was 20. 10 years later (7 of them married), we still say I love you every day.

What matters is what you do after you say "I love you." Yes, we've been together nearly a third of our lives but we still work on our relationship every day. I love that we're in the process of growing old together.

[–]aedile 2 points3 points ago

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I approve of this comment!

(BTW, I happen to be the guy in her story)

[–]optimarcusprime 3 points4 points ago

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I tend to stay away from that word from a long time. My first girlfriend - back in 7th grade - forced me to say it all the time. I don't blame her, we were young and foolish, but it still impacted the way I deal with love.

To answer the question, it usually takes me at least 4 months before I'm comfortable with it. That's not to say that I can't love other things in a different way, but to love someone in a romantic sense is difficult for me.

[–]upveto 1 point2 points ago

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Annnd upveto sees himself in optimarcusprime's reflection.

[–]brtw 7 points8 points ago

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I love everyone, without exception. One night stand, best college bud, random person on the street. We should all love each other and the world would be a happier place.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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=D

[–]faceless323 2 points3 points ago

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You don't have a soul, you can't know what love is.

;)

[–]Stovek 2 points3 points ago

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If there was a "what does love mean to you?" topic, I wouldn't know how to answer it. I've never said it to anyone outside of my family. I had been in a relationship for about 4 months when I was told those words, but I honestly didn't know how to respond. When I look back on our failed relationship, I can play this scene in my mind and believe it to be the culprit -- me just standing there and being silent.

[–]clonekisses 2 points3 points ago

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We were saying our I love yous before we were formally together. Saying it "before a year of dating" doesn't dilute the word; saying it before you're ready dilutes the word. When you truly feel it and mean it it's right to say it, and every time you say it it means as much as the first time you ever heard it.

[–]rooniedcfc 1 point2 points ago

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Saying it "before a year of dating" doesn't dilute the word; saying it before you're ready dilutes the word. this absolutely.

[–]kooshKoosh 2 points3 points ago

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When I am told "I love you" I take it for what it means for me when I say it to my SO's.... which is "I love you to the extent that I know what love is at this time in my life." Maybe I am crazy but it is so overused these days that I stopped caring a few years back. In short, yes, I think people say it way too quickly (I have done it too, so I am not talking shit) and it makes the expression less important in my eyes.

[–]clownprince_ 2 points3 points ago

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30 min.

We tried hooking up the year before, but I had already been contracted for work upstate. She was 'the one that got away'. I didn't hesitate when opportunity came up again. Worked out really well... She didn't hesitate either.

[–]Lucilletoo 1 point2 points ago

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Three months. We were sixteen and in a long distance relationship, so I figured if I was sticking around through the distance that I must love him and I did love him as well as a 16 year old kid CAN love. But I have found that the way I love him has evolved as our relationship has progressed. At 21, the love I feel is so much more developed and deep than it was then when we were 16, so there's also that for you to think about in regards to your friend. :)

[–]yetanothernerd 1 point2 points ago

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I think it was about a year. But we were friends for several years before we started going out.

[–]rooniedcfc 0 points1 point ago

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how do you stay in a relationship that long without saying i love you?

[–]Megling1285 1 point2 points ago

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I don't think there is any right time or anything. I have said it as soon as a month in, and as long as like 8 months in. When it feels right, I do it. I try not to over analyze it that much.

[–]marrisa18 1 point2 points ago

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I told my SO that I loved him at about 4 months into our relationship. He returned it about 1 week before our 6 month anniversary. Three years later, we're getting married in 76 days :)

[–]secretzombie 1 point2 points ago

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My last relationship I was in for two years and not once did we ever say "I love you" to each other. Sometimes it was on the tip of my tongue and I wanted to say it, but I knew he would have laughed at me, or at least been condescending. So it's good I didn't say it!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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He said it after 2 weeks. I was 19 he was 23. We're happily married for 24 years, <3

[–]Atreides_Zero 1 point2 points ago

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3 hours.

Then 6 months.

We kinda ignored the first time since I was nervous and sort of babbling.

[–]lucidviolet 0 points1 point ago

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From experience I've found that truly loving someone doesn't just have to do with compatibility, but knowing each other as people and working on the relationship together. As crazy as it sounds, you can tell when you definitely have those feelings for someone.

I had a very close relationship with the last person I dated. He and I had been friends and when we found we had feelings for each other, our connection only deepened. Three months into officially being boyfriend and girlfriend, he was leaving for a two week trip across the country where we would have limited contact. In those two weeks, I realized how much I missed him and that I truly loved him. When he came back, he told me he loved me and I returned the feelings. Up until we parted ways, there was never a time we forgot to say we loved each other.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Took me 2 months, have been dating for 1.5 years, things are going well. Hurray me.

[–]occams-broadsword2 0 points1 point ago

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About 8"

[–]pyxlated 0 points1 point ago

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I never got into a relationship without being in love to begin with. So pretty much immediately.

[–]pmerkaba 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know how much of a response you will get from the parts of the crowd less likely to jump to speak up.

That said, I say "I love you" when I know that I do, which has taken a long time. It was a little over a year after I met her, but there was no romantic relationship or dating. That doesn't make it any less true or powerful.

[–]historiadracorum 0 points1 point ago

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I can't remember exactly, but I feel like it was about two months, or so. We've been married for a little over a year (together for about three), and we're expecting a little girl in September. I couldn't be happier with him. I think you should say it when you mean it. However long that takes is different for every relationship.

[–]Iusedtobeafish 0 points1 point ago

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It took me 4 months to mean it.

[–]fortius 0 points1 point ago

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-2 weeks

[–]HeIsMyPossum 0 points1 point ago

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So you said it 2 weeks before you dated?

[–]fortius 0 points1 point ago

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and while she was still dating someone else

[–]HeIsMyPossum 0 points1 point ago

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I think you just became an asshole.

[–]fortius 1 point2 points ago

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and that someone else was one of my bestfriends

[–]HeIsMyPossum 1 point2 points ago

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I think you just became a douche.

[–]fortius 1 point2 points ago

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but she was very hot

[–]HeIsMyPossum 1 point2 points ago

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I think you just became Digg.

[–]furixx 0 points1 point ago

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i am a particularly affectionate person so i tell people (boyfriends and friends alike) i love them all the time (when it is true). i think the shortest time period between initial meeting and saying the words was probably at least a couple months though.

[–]Onewhoplaysgod 0 points1 point ago

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Pff, of the twice I've said it, about 3 years on the first time, 5~8 months on the second.

[–]evader 0 points1 point ago

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The girl I'm with now... maybe 5 weeks. It's about 7 weeks since we met.

Before her I didn't have a g/f for 2 years. Just rooted around.

Before that... I was with a girl for 3 years. The only other girl I loved.

[–]HIGHMetabolism 0 points1 point ago

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That word is evil.

[–]Deep-Thought 0 points1 point ago

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3 months.

[–]aCleverMoniker 0 points1 point ago

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Hello. I love you. Won't you tell me your name?

[–]mickeythesquid 0 points1 point ago

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i have been dating my GF since november... we said it about a month ago. we started off by saying "i adore you", then moved on to saying it in other languages... eventually she said " i suppose i can say it in english now..." * sighs *

[–]teslaandme 0 points1 point ago

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16 months = once when i was drunk

[–]bubbo 0 points1 point ago

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My husband and I had only been dating a few months at the time. He had spent the night at my place and was getting ready to leave for work. Just as he was about to leave I said, "Have a good day, I love you" and immediately clapped my hands over my mouth. I totally did not mean to say it, it just popped out. He came over and gave me a hug and kissed my head and took off. I spent the rest of the freaking out, I didn't want to scare him off or anything, we were both pretty tender around the edges from previous relationships.

It took me maybe a year or more before it dawned on me that the look on his face when I said that was not a look of surprise or fear, but a look of real happiness. Now it's more than 5 years and I love him, he's my HUGE-FROG.

[–]everyothernametaken1 0 points1 point ago

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As long as possible

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago* 

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No joke. I met a girl online, she was in China, I was in Canada. After 2 days of internet chatting and some phone calls, I was feeling in love. Going against every instinct I had, I told her anyways. She returned the sentiment. 7 years of marriage later, we are both doing great in Hong Kong.

For the record, if you had told me before I met her that I could fall in love in only 2 days, I would have laughed at you. The thing is sincerity is the easiest thing in the world to see if you are looking for it. It took no time at all to see that we both were what the other needed.

[–]kraddy 0 points1 point ago

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I've never seriously told anyone outside my family that I loved them. Either way, it's just a word. It seems so arbitrary, that your relationship is somehow more valid because you say "I love you" when you hang up the phone.

[–]ReMO451 0 points1 point ago

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I told my current GF I loved her about four months into the relationship, because that's when I realized I actually did love her.

I never told my ex that I loved her and we went out for over a year and a half. I never said it because I never meant it, and, especially with "the L word", I don't like to say things I don't mean. To be fair, she never said it either, and the relationship was not too serious or too loving, obviously.

There shouldn't be a "time limit" for saying "I love you". You say it when you mean it.

[–]cloudstrifed 0 points1 point ago

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I'm consciously aware that "love" is just a word used to describe the biological trick of an emotion which only purpose is to create an attachment to the opposite sex in order to invoke a sexual encounter, reproduce, and perpetuate the species.

That being said, about two months. And I love you all.

[–]brazacka 0 points1 point ago

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I love you too! ...Shit, 20 seconds...

[–]jackie_treehorn 0 points1 point ago* 

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I'd say roughly 5 beers into it.

EDIT: But seriously, it took me right around 10 months with my girlfriend.