Dear Reddit, What is the worst relationship/date that you've been on?

GeorgeWashingblagh · 2 years

Goes and gets a beer. When I was about two weeks into my freshmen year of college a girl messaged me on Facebook claiming to be in one of my classes and she needed the notes. She was cute so we went back and forth and I invited her to a house party my cousin was having that weekend and she accepted. We agree to meet up before the party to feel each other out, because the house party is in a town about 20-30 minutes away and we'll have to spend the night there. She tells me to meet her at some place for coffee about another 20 minute drive PAST the area of the party, but I agree because I saw it as an adventure.

I drive down there and call her to confirm where we're meeting and she says she's shopping at Target, and I should just meet her there. So, I do and start walking around the store on the phone with her and she had hid behind a clothing rack in the front as I walked by to scope me out and then tried to nonchalantly pretend she didn't see me. When she stepped out from behind the clothing rack I realize those pictures on facebook were extremely misleading. They were those high angle myspace pictures, and I was still young and naive and thought nothing of it. But I'm a nice guy, so I thought hey, she's hideous but I'll still show her a good time.

Then a guy walks up and she introduces me to him as one of her friends and asks if it's cool if he comes too. I reluctantly agree, and then she decides we should go to the mall and walk around. As we're walking around the mall she continuously talks about the strangest subjects, like how she ran over a cat once and she felt no pain. Really weird stuff. So, I'm slowly growing pissed because I felt deceived, she's really damn weird, and now I have to deal with her all night AND this idiot guy. She decides we should see a movie, even though it's now about 10pm and I'm getting texts from my cousin to hurry up. So we're sitting waiting for the movie to start and the conversation keeps getting weirder, and I keep getting more pissed off.

That's when about six people walk in the theater and come up and they sit with us; apparently they know this chick. I ask her who they are, and she says, "Oh, they're my friends. I invited them to come to the party with us, and to come meet you". My fists clench, but I am calm. One of the new friends leans over and goes, "Hey, Julie, who's your friend?" She responds, "Oh, this is Brett, we're dating". That was it. I was done with this. I had tried to salvage the situation and be a gentlemen but it was over. I text my cousin to call me in 60 seconds. As soon as he calls I start acting surprised, "What....WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?!" I bolt up out of my seat, "I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!" I turn to her and say, "I have to go, it's an emergency". She tries to ask me what happened and I sprint out of the theater, run through the mall to my car and drove to the party. I never talked to or saw her again.

Edit: paragraphs

UsernameUnknown · 2 years

Went on a date with a cute engineering student from uni. He was a bit shy and sort of nervous but he had the guts to approach a random girl he'd seen around on campass and ask her out so I was willing to give him a shot.

He spent the entire night talking about his henti porn collection in graphic details.

And then he tried to stalk me.

ThiZ · 2 years

Got stood up on a blind date. Turns out he was there after all, didn't like how I looked, and left me there waiting for another 45minutes. Turns out he'd gone home and sent an email saying I wasn't what he expected and should have been given more photos.

That one still hurts.

YdkwIa84 · 2 years

I told the guy I wanted to take things very slowly.

So he pinned me down, shoved his tongue down my throat and his hand down my pants on the first day...

orngejaket · 2 years

Oh man this one time I met this hot chick at a bar and we ended up dating for a month before I broke up with her. General incompatibilities. She calls me and tells me she's pregnant which is impossible since we never banged. So I tell her this and to then leave me alone since I figured she was crazy. Oh man was she ever. She apparently has kids(never told me) and starts bringing them over to my place banging on the door about how the kids need to see her daddy and how I never spend time with them. Note: They were black. I'm white and she was Asian. This goes on for a week with constant calls, emails and showing up at my work.

So to top it off, one night of being so lonely without me or tired of trying to have sex with my best friend. She drives over to my place, strips naked, nails her dead cat to the door and starts screaming and crying for me to take her back. One of my neighbors calls the cops. They show up and she tells them I molested/raped her. I point out the cat on my door. She says that I did it to extort my power over her. They arrest me because somehow the woman is always right or something. (No offense ladies that are sane, Canadian cops are dumb. Trailer Park Boys prove this). They let her inside and she steals my stuff. Underpants, combs, towels, and my sweet TV. As soon as I get out of jail I file a restraining order. She still harasses me, and now my parents saying how she wants to them to meet their granddaughter. I move to the US after not being able to take it for a while. I have yet to see her again.

fastcat03 · 2 years

Ooh man.. this is a long one..

I met this Canadian bar-tender at a place in Canberra, I'd been single for a few months, yet trying to avoid all the loose-moralled behaviour that got me into a relationship which made me consider death as a viable alternative to life in the relationship itself.

So anyways, I'm at this bar, ordering a drink - and this gorgeous Canadian girl serving me keeps making small-talk, I'm being polite and getting my drinks and going on my way, not really thinking about it.

She comes out and brings us our chips, one of the guys at the big table I was at, (a gay dude sitting with his boyfriend) was commenting on how nice her eyes were, I went back in to get another beer and she complimented me on my earrings, or nose-ring, or something I can't remember, so I thought to myself "Fark it Tom, you've been patient, figuring out who the fark you are as an individual and while this is well and good you haven't had sex in a while and she's clearly coming onto you" so I started reciprocating, asked her out and she was all too keen, gave me a number, when I got home she'd found me on facebook, - real keen, keen.

Now, first date, we go to Karaoke, I'm drunk but still my usual polite self, albeit drunk - and we sing karaoke together, have a merry yet random (the best kind of merry in my eyes) evening. At the end of the night, I kind of go to kiss her and she doesn't want that at all.

I apologise and say sorry for being a drunkard, walk her home and then catch a cab home.

The next day I awake hungover, I call work and say I might be in for the arvo, but don’t hold me to it.

Then she calls me, wants to see if I want to go do something.

I go pick her up and we go to a cafe; I have a coke being hungover and she has some weird sunflower tea stuff, I have Chubbs (my dog) with me as he's an extention of me, practically.

After a chat, another drink, some food, I take her to the Carillion, this is an island with a huge tower on it, which doubles as a giant musical instrument. I take Chubbs there as I can let him off the leash and he can't get away, it's the Island of Doctor Chubbs.

So we get there, I let Chubbs off, he goes running off like the knob he is into the distance, we walk over to the Carillion, just checking it out and all the plaques, etc.

Now, about 5 mins later I realise I haven't seen Chubbs in a while.. I realise that swimming isn't one of Chubbs'es talents and holy fuck - a wave of panic rises within me..

"Umm.. excuse me for a second, I just have to make sure Chubbs isn't drowning or something" I say semi-casually while running towards the nearest shoreline, I check one end, nothing I run to the other end, nothing.. I start to think to myself "Fark yeah cunt, good job, way to be the biggest cockhead ever, you absolute Queef inhaler - how are you gonna escape this!?" - thinking Chubbs was a goner, when all of a sudden I saw these two ears come out of the water about 30 metres out.

I know those ears. it's Chubbs.

Then a paw and his stupid horse head poked out, splashed briefly before going back under.

1.2 seconds later and I'm hitting the water like Michael Klim, sans golden paint, Housemates $400 Jean Paul Gautier Sunnies, kiss them goodbye, my phone and wallet, kiss those goodbye, I'm swimming like a madman to the spot I saw him, he's not there..

I dive under the water, swimming downward, reaching all over the place, I can't see shit, the waters muddy and full of algae, I'm almost out of breath..

I come to the surface and let out a massive scream, I'm about to lose my mental bearings and want to turn back time more than anything else in the world, I dive back under and kick hard, aiming to touch the bottom, if I could at least salvage his corpse I could then bury it and not wonder forever where his body was, so I'm kicking away when all of a sudden I can feel something in my left hand, it's an ear.

I reach further down, and I can feel Chubbsies harness.. he feels limp and heavy, but hasn't hit the bottom. I start trying to swim upwards with him, he's 30kg's so I've almost drowned when I have to let him go, come to the surface and go straight back down and resume from a foot deeper, second go I got him to the surface.

He was dead.

His eyes were open, his tongue was out, he was dead.

I pushed his corpse out in front of me all the way back to the shore crying, when we got there the Canadian was standing there, mouth agape.. silent..

I pushed with all my might on Chubbsies chest, beat on it even and blew as hard as I could down both nostrils..

and he fucking coughed.

I almost yelped with excitement, clenching my jaw and trying to focus beneath the tears streaming down my face, I did it again, and he coughed up about a litre of water and various vomit-looking substances.. I fucking Hasslehoffed him.

Now, I dropped her home as I just wanted to get Chubbs home and fed and stop stressing about it all, but she was adamant that she wanted to come over my house to have a cocktails and simpsons marathon night. (I'm in, baby?)

On Melbourne cup day, instead of going and getting retarded with a bunch of retards, I took her and Chubbs to the River and we taught him to swim, it was a nice day - she had to work in the arvo so we went and had a beer and some seafood before I dropped her home for work.

The next night she wanted to do the Simpsons thing, so I went and picked her up and she came over.

We're watching Simpsons, I show her The Mighty Boosh (no euphemistic connotation, its a tv show) we go to kiss/makeout/whatever you kids call it these days (macking!??!!) and all of a sudden she's cold again.

I talk to her about it, turns out she's come from a bad relationship bladda bladda ya, I say "I'm not looking for a relationship, but I don't spend my life drawing lines in the sand - I take it as it comes and am learning how this is done as I do it" - which she likes,

she let me massage her, she's making all the right noises, we get down to our "sleeping attire"... (pretty much both in undies) - but she won't go any further.

She makes me sleep next to her in her undies.

I'm still wondering if "Morning Wood" is applicable if the boner's conception was during the PM.

I dropped her home the next day and drove to work feeling completely numb.

I wasn't pissed off, just numb - after all, I couldn't possibly subscribe to the irony of not wanting shallow meaningless sex but then being pissed I ran into someone with standards, or who likes to take it slow.

No, what really pissed me off is that after that night she's completely ignored me!

I've decided that she might be one of these girls who like to play games, me not being like that at all have proceeded to start flirting with another bar-chick there who is also drop dead gorgeous, and completely ignoring the Canadian. (I'm being facetious here)

"Treat em like dirt" - I hate that advice but fuck me ladies - you bring it on yourselves.

now she can't get enough, leans over the bar and touches me, always winking and shit, I mean wtf - all it took was for me to be an arrogant arsehole, someone I'm not and she loves it.

So yeah, that’s been pissing me off.

It pissed me off enough to design a T-shirt for the occasion:

http://imgur.com/wMIev.png

My Dog Chubbs:

http://i.imgur.com/tBTKJ.jpg

Thanks for reading. :-)

and sorry for the rant, been a while since I've been on reddit. (back this week)

edit: forgot about the whole '2 spaces' thang. Also changed douche to queef-inhaler.

fistpump · 2 years

Worst relationship: one year of giving my boyfriend rent and never understanding why our landlord was pissed at us. Turns out he was spending it all on a cocaine habit I never knew about. Complete fail on my part.

toxiclogic · 2 years

New to a big city I decided to try my luck at replying to a few w4m posts on Craigslist. Girl responds almost immediately with several pictures which looked to be a few years old and had the exif data removed. They were taken from peculiar angles but she looked cute enough, so after a few days of email chats I agreed to meet her for dinner. She exclaimed how she had 'everything taken care of' and would pick me up at what I told her was my workplace. Come date night I slip in to a vehicle with some sort of ogre, upper lip adorned with a stache' and packing a good 75 lbs more than the previous pictures.

I then pulled the ole' "Emergency Cell Call' routine and high tailed it out of there. Dozens of unanswered emails continued to come through for weeks until I finally set up a rule that generated fake SMTP 550 error emails. Come to find out she had not given me her real name, to avoid the inevitable look-up on FB/MS/etc. I eventually found her actual details. Thankfully I had only given her a nickname of mine, so she didn't know my full name.

Learned my lesson and started frequenting bars/coffee shops instead.

TL:DR -- Tried Craigslist personals, found missing link.

Modest_Proposal · 2 years

I have personally had pretty good luck or at least the bad times haven't made for any good stories. I will, however, relate one blind date that my dad went on. I heard this story from both my dad and his friend, so I'll try to reconstruct the event as best as I can.

It was 1966 in San Diego. My dad and his friend Bernie were renting a beatup beach house from this divorced older women. By renting, I mean that a couple times a month Bernie would go to her house and sex her up. Anyway, Bernie was seeing a girl who had a friend, so they set my dad up on a blind date. It was a typically hot summer day in SoCal, so my dad decided he was a little thirsty and went to the refridgerator. In the fridge he saw a big jug of apple juice, so he poured himself a big glass, and drank it all down. Bernie walks into the kitchem moments after my dad finished the apple juice, looks at the empty glass on the counter and asks, "Did you just drink some of the apple juice?"

"Yeah, why?" responds my dad.

"Well, I put about hundred hits of mescaline in the juice to sell at this party tonight," Bernie replies, "How much did you drink?" My dad indicates the entire glass. "Holy shit that like twenty hits of mesacline!"

My dad is a little worried, since he has the blind date in about an hour. Bernie asks if he is going to be alright, and my dad says that it will be an interesting date. My dad has had a decent amount of psychadelic experience at this point, starting when he was 13 and his brother dosed him with LSD for fun. So he cleans up, gets dressed, and goes off to meet this girl for dinner. At this point the story gets fragmented as Bernie was no longer around, and my dad starting tripping really hard. Some highlights:

At dinner, my dad can hardly talk. He somehow tells his date that his friend gave him some mescaline, but downplays exactly how much. Being the 60s and his social scene, the girl takes this in stride. They had to leave the restaurant when my dad started seriously hallucinating and ended up making a big mess when he just played with his food instead of eating it.
After dinner, for some reason, they decided to go to the racetrack to watch some dog races. I don't know who's idea this was, and neither does my dad. On the way into the racetrack, my dad apperently ran around giving money to random people, betting on the pigeons in the parking lot, shouting things like, "TEN DOLLARS ON NUMBER 25!!"
On the way to the bathroom in the racetrack, he got lost in a stairwell that had a mosaic pattern in tile. He says that he was trapped going forward and backward in time while going up and down the stairs. He thinks he was in the stairwell for at least an hour, but he says it felt like days.

My dad is not sure when his date finally gave up on him, but Bernie confirms that my dad showed up back at the house the next day later with no shoes or pants, no money, and very very dirty. My dad recalls this fondly, but he always says that he felt pretty bad for that girl, whom he never saw or heard from again.

edit: Some formatting

donwilson · 2 years

met a chick on okcupid once and she did look just like she did in the picture, fortunately. it wasn't that awkward until I realized we had nothing in common, and she was texting while I was talking to her. it was everything I could do just to remain there instead of walking out.

zoinkability · 2 years

I was online dating. There was a cute girl I was hitting it off with in messages, so I asked her out for dinner. I picked a place, which turned out to be right across the street from her work. The date went OK... we got along fine, but even though she was really cute I did't feel tons of chemistry. Maybe if it had ended there I might have been interested in a second date to see if things got better with time.

At the end of dinner, she mentioned that she told her coworkers that she would clean the office fridge, and wondered if I wanted to hang out at her office. I was a bit perplexed -- is this some sort of strange pickup line? Does she want to make out in the office?

We went up to her office, which was deserted, and proceed to -- you guessed it -- clean out the office fridge. Which was gross. And really about the least romantic way to spend a date I can imagine.

We talked throughout, and for a bit after we were done cleaning the fridge, but any glint of chemistry that had been there before the ordeal was completely gone by the end. I said I would be in touch, but then wasn't... something about office fridge cleaning just didn't make me feel too good about a second date.

readcommentbackwards · 2 years

My prom date was the bitch of all bitches.

I worked my ass off for nearly 3-4 months to give her the perfect prom. I'm talking limo, horse drawn carriage to the 5 star restaurant, flowers . . . everything, I wanted her to have the time of her life. We had been great friends before that and she was going through a hard time with family, so I wanted to give her the best time ever.

When I picked her up, she acted like a bitch. On the horse drawn carriage, she would barely speak to me. She insisted nothing was wrong. At the restaurant she only ordered mashed potatoes and water. FUCKING MASHED POTATOES AND WATER. It made me feel like a cheap ass when every other girl in the group had the steak and lobster. Anyways, she was a bitch on the drive home . . . and then during the first dance she went off and danced with this kid nicknamed Burrito. I just felt like shit the entire night, then at the end asked her if she wanted to ride with me to our post prom party. She wanted to go home because she was tired . . . which would have been great if she didn't end up showing up there 30 minutes later. Biggest bitch in the world.

About a year ago (6 years later) she called me to apologize for her actions and that she has become a new person. It turns out she started dating a guy the week before prom and he had told her they would break up had she shown too much affection. So she went with the bitch card.

mypsychoticself · 2 years

First date, right after saying hi he tried to kiss me with tongue. Guys (and girls): do not do this. It is rude and off-putting.

dillbeans · 2 years

I met a girl over myspace a few years ago, went on a dinner date at olive garden and she ended up yacking her new England clam chowder all over the table. We still had sex that night.

CoffeeSwirl · 2 years

I met a guy through friends and mutual interests. My friend was holding a show with local bands in his garage, so I picked the guy up and took him to the show. He did not say one word. He was so shy and awkward, from the second I picked him up to the second i dropped him off several hours later the only thing he said was "I'm sorry" at the end of our date. I dropped him off, never talked to him again. Confidence is key kids.

faceless323 · 2 years

[deleted]

woodsman707 · 2 years

Before I was married, I was using a couple different dating sites, and met this 'match' on eharmony. We talk on the phone a little and she seems cool, so I agree to meet her at her place for dinner (she doesn't have a car and is 'broke'). I drive for about 45 minutes from my town to hers. Her apartment is a mess, stained couch, 13" TV with no cable, and her kitchen in part of the living room, messy bathroom, etc...

She looks slightly older and chubbier than the pics on her profile, but she's cute (enough) and I just drove for 45 minutes, am hungry and because I am a nice person, I decide to hang out for a while and at least eat. I think we had to wait about 30 minutes for dinner to be done cooking, and during that time she'd keep popping into her bathroom for a minute here, a minute there, and I am thinking, "this is weird", but let it go. Then there's a knock at the door and she lets this guy in, they go into her bedroom for maybe 5 minutes, then they come out and he leaves, again, weird... Dinner was chicken braised (cough...boiled) in wine, and it wasn't all that good, but hey, I'm polite, so I don't complain.

Conversation is decent and it isn't too late and she asks me if I want to go to this little bar down the street from her place to play some pool. I think, "This might be fun" and agree. We get there and as she walks in, she's greeted like Norm from Cheers. We sit down and order a couple beers. (I am not a big drinker, so maybe 2 drinks and I am done.) We play a game or 2 of pool, and by this time, I am hungry again, so I ask if we can pop across the street to this strip mall and grab some frozen yogurt. She agrees and I buy (I also paid for pool and our drinks). We head back to her place and I go to use the restroom. Well, it turns out that all the little trips to her bathroom were so she could smoke a joint, and the guy that came over was her pot dealer.

So, we head back to her place and it is like 2:00am. I am staring down a 45 minute drive after being out drinking, so I am going to politely leave. She asks me to stay with her that night because she likes me, and I think, "Well, maybe you'll get laid and that makes up for the night". Nope. We sleep in her freezing ass cold bedroom on a single mattress on the floor (no box spring, no frame) right under a window that has to be cracked open. We wake up the next morning and I am just dying to leave, but she suggests we go into the city for the day (San Francisco), and well, I am a nice guy...

I drive us to SF, pay for bridge toll, pay for parking and lunch, drinks at a bar, and again, sitting in a bar watching the game, just isn't my thing. We do some site-seeing and we're down at the pier browsing through the stores and occasionally, she'll ask where the bathroom is. I think it’s because she had a couple beers, but no, when we get back to her place that evening around 8:00, she pulls all of this stuff out of her purse; she was SHOPLIFTING!, I play it off, but I am totally fucking pissed at this point, and still, I am a nice guy...

So she again suggests we go back to the bar from the night before to get a couple drinks. I just want to leave, but I was just trapped…We go back and it's easily 2 hours go by and she's playing video poker or something, and I am exhausted from walking around SF with barely no sleep, and sitting at the bar watching her drink is losing its charm. Right as I mention that I'd like to take off, the same guy that shows up at her apartment earlier shows up. They talk for a couple minutes over in one of the corners and he leaves and this is now around 11:00 PM or something like that. So, I want to leave, but she wants to stay. At this point, I sort of lose it and say something like, “I am tired, I would like to go home now”, but instead of just leaving, she says, “I have to wait for “bob” to come back because he’s bringing me some weed, just go lay down at my place and I’ll be home soon”. The reason we went to the bar was so she could meet up and buy more pot that night!!! I say, “sure, that sounds cool, see you later” and walk out of the bar and straight to my car, drive home and never talk to her again. I think she emailed me a couple times, but that was just too much for me.

DigitalEvil · 2 years

[deleted]

Liar_tuck · 2 years

OKay, this was bad but could have been much much worse. When in high school I go on a blind date. I hate blind dates, but a buddy of mine was really into this other girl. Said other girl, would not go out with him if he didn't find a date for her friend. I guess she had safety issues. So, I take one for the team and agree. My date was horrid. She was somewhat cute, but she smelled like fish. By fish, I mean that dirty pussy fish like smell. She was stupid and annoying. This was in 1984, and she kept going on about the book 1984. Talking about how we should all be afraid because the computers and machines could take over now. I get annoyed and asked if she ever actually read the damn book. She gets bitchy and starts pointing out all my flaws that she perceives. Eventually tell her this simply isn't working and politely excuse myself.

When I get home, my mother tells my grandmother called and asked if I could come over and look at her boiler, she doesnt have any hot water. So I head over getting and grandmas about 8pm. Turns out she had accidently switched it off when she bumped into going down to the basement to do laundry earlier. No big deal, problem solved. She invites me to stay for dinner, shes having an old friend over she would like me to meet. A local judge who loves to argue politics, theology and legal matters as much as I do. We had a great time, staying up till nearly midnight debating.

Next morning my friend calls me as asks what hell happend? My blind date told her friend that I had come to her house a 10 the night before and raped her. She was even going to file a police report, at the urging of her friend. Later that day, the cops show up and arrest me. Once I explain that I was with our well know and well respected judge at the time I was supposedly committing this crime, they dont believe me. But they call him and she got charged with filing a false report.

TL:DR I was once falsely accused of rape after a bad blind date, but a judge was my alibi.

DHDXero · 2 years

A year-and-a-half with a VERY Christian girl. I was atheist and had no intention of converting, but throughout the entire relationship she told me how she prayed for me to find Jesus. She absolutely hated that I wasn't religious. Also, the Passion of the Christ had just come out in theaters which meant I got to see the film twice. This was sophomore year of high school and she was my first girlfriend, so I wasn't as picky then.

shoblime · 2 years

Ex-boyfriend was cheating on me with Craigslist hookers.

scrumpydoo23 · 2 years

The one where she turned out to be a lesbian.

(sniff)

AnnaRKey · 2 years

This guy asked me out. (I worked as a cashier so I would get asked out by strangers...) Anyway, I said yes because he seemed nice, although very nerdy. He took me to a poetry reading. It was so crowded I was sort of pushed up against another man on the side opposite from my date. Very crowded. The stranger started rubbing my leg under the table...so I moved my leg away from him, but that pushed me too close to my date, who then gets the idea that I am really into him. I was not.

So I try to make myself as small as possible.... The stranger keeps rubbing my leg with his hand, and I kicked him...but I didn't want to tell my date about it because I was leery what form his "chivalry" might take...God what a night. I ached from trying so hard not to touch either of them....

evolve81 · 2 years

I won't even bother getting into how crazy my bipolar ex was, because the worst part of it all was that she had the ability to push my buttons to the point where I was almost as crazy as her. That fucked me up so much that I haven't dated in four years.

myrandomname · 2 years

I was dating this girl (I'll call her dumbslut) for a couple of months. One night, we went to a club and ended up bumping into a few acquaintances of her ex. We also met up with a platonic female friend of mine and a few of her friends, and we all ended up sharing a big table. It was awkward, but I actually knew one of dumbslut's acquaintances from grade school and ended up shooting some pool with him.

But this was just a ploy to get me away from dumbslut so one of the acquaintances could hit on her. I didn't find out until the next day, but one of the dudes was hitting on my female friend (while another douchebag was hitting on dumbslut), saying classy shit like, "we should get out of here and fuck." And implying his friend was going to hook up with dumbslut. My friend was taken aback, but responded with "What about myrandomname and dumbslut?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about him. As soon as myrandomname drops her off, she's going to call my boy to come over. Then we can all go over there to and have some fun."

My friend didn't know what to do, so she left. And, as predicted, I dropped dumbslut off and she called her hookup and fucked him. My friend called me the next day to tell me about what happened, so I confronted dumbslut.

Her response: "that's none of your business."

My response: "have a nice life..."

Edit: readability

judithpriest · 2 years

I'll take Rape for 500 Alex.

Sacrament_of_Swords · 2 years

Not really WORST, but one time I went out with a girl to the zoo, and when we got the monkey exhibit, she started taking pictures of the monkeys' penises. She didn't just take one, she took like 10. She seemed really interested in them.

EmpathyJelly · 2 years

13 years in a relationship where we lived in the same house, but barely saw each other and rarely hung out which is for the best as he made me cry constantly for all kinds of terrific reasons, like me dropping a spoon in a restaurant. About 3 years into it, I asked him why he didn't want to get married, or maybe he just didn't want to marry me. He said he didn't want to get married at all but 9 years later he did ask me to marry him. About 7 months into the engagement I asked him why he wanted to marry me and his response was "I feel like I owe it to you now". Wrong response. I broke up with him and kicked him out of my house. I still have no earthly idea how/why I stayed with him for so long.

epicgeek · 2 years

I took a girl from church out to see the latest Harry Potter movie. She hated it... because witchcraft is against the Bible.

I almost... almost explained to her that Harry Potter doesn't really have anything to do with Biblical witchcraft or devil worship. But I didn't think she'd get it. It was really a very disappointing / sad evening.

mypsychoticself · 2 years

[deleted]

unicornlover87 · 2 years

A guy I kind of knew asked me to to watch some MST3K with him at his house. He seemed kind of socially awkward, but I am too, so I try not to judge too harshly. The TV was in his room. Nearly every square inch of the room was filled with completely naked or very scantily clad anime girls. Figures, posters, comics, the whole deal. I silently sat on his bed and watched Rifftrax with him for two hours.

shaggorama · 2 years

Ugh...I was in this relationship with this girl who I absolutely loved but turned out she was just using as an emotional crutch until something better came along. After going out for a couple months she dumped me for a guy she met at a party a week before V-day and went out with him for the next two years (did I mention we never fucked?).

Anyway, here's the bad date:

This girl was CRAZY. Not cute crazy: on antipsychotics to keep her shit together crazy. During exams (college gf) she got sorta stressed out studying and forgot to take her meds for three days. One night I'm over at her apartment making out on her couch and out of nowhere she just starts CRYING. I ask her what's up, and she says "I'm damaged goods," referring to the fact that she had been raped 2ce when she was a teen.

Turns out the music we were listening to had some significance and was provoking her degrading emotional state. I turned it off as quick as I could, but it was too late. I began to completely lose her to a psychotic episode. She started asking me where 'Ben' was, Ben being a friend of her's who had committed suicide in high school.

I had already totally lost her. I think she drifted off to some fucked up fantasy where she's like in the holocaust or something, I don't remember a lot of the specifics after the onset of the ordeal. After maybe an hour of her just rolling down hill she ended up having a full on clonic-tonic seizure. I fell asleep with her in my arms.

The next day i had an exam. I explained to my professor that I'd had a long night and she let me reschedule. I picked up my gf's HW from her profs, went back to her house and took care of her for the rest of the day, making sure she took her fucking pills.

This is all pertinent because about a month later we had a fight where she expressed to me that I was 'all talk' and never did anything to show her that I cared.

tl;dr: Although strangely endearing and great in bed, crazy girls are crazy. Tried it, don't recommend it.

nekoeth0 · 2 years

She ate with her mouth open... the "squish-squish" she made while eating the salad... It was awful....

chanbam · 2 years

This happened last year sometime, maybe around October or so. Anyway on Friday nights we would typically get together at one of my roommate's brother's house, whose of the same age, and drink until about 11:30 or and then hit the bars. Sometimes there'd be a party, sometimes we'd just hang around and drink. Other people from the neighborhood would typically come over at different points throughout the night too. Anyway, on this night one of the guy's girlfriends is having a pre-party for a girl turning 21 because half the girls there couldn't drink at the bar anyway.

So by the time they get there most of us were pretty well drunk and I started hitting it off with one of the girls that had come over. We drink and talk some more and eventually she wants to leave and head to the bar with a few other girls that are leaving early. Most everybody else is still at the house, but we decide to go anyway. We end up making out for half the night at the bar. The whole time she's getting more vulgar, saying how she wants to come over and stay and all this stuff.

At some point some dudes walk by and say something like "you got that" or some other vague encouragement that's been lost to too many recent nights of drinking. The fact that she made some angry comment about how small one of their dicks was (from prior experience) probably should have thrown up a flag but I was zombie drunk and didn't fucking care.

The next thing I did ultimately ended up being the biggest mistake of the night. When she went off to talk to one of her friends I ran off in my drunken state to get some condoms at a convenience store around the corner. I think I thought I was being sneaky, although I'm told I was running down the middle of the road. Anyway long story short, I make it back, didn't tell anybody what I did, and felt reasonably assured that nobody saw me. We all end up getting a ride from another one of my roommates and things are going ok and we keep flirting back and forth until the other girl in the car starts bitching about how lonely she is and how she doesn't have anybody, essentially how she's a giant loser that whines all the time. And so, of course, the girl I've been talking to all night fucking leaves and goes back with her.

That's it for that night. The next morning I wake up and send her some text apologizing for being so drunk and she replies about the condoms. She goes fucking ballistic, I'm talking full retard here. So I ended up telling her she was a hypocrite with no room to talk and she's the one that had invited herself over and what not. Of course she doesn't like hearing that. I should also add that she's in a sorority, and I don't know what she said about me, but a good 8-10 girls that know her now think I'm the devil. Seriously, I don't know half these bitches and you'd think I raped their mother at some point.

It's some real high school shit and they're still not over it. This last weekend we're all over at that house again. It's a decent sized party and there's about 12 of us or so playing flip cup. I'm hitting it off ok with this one girl and she ended up disappearing for a minute but her two roommates invite me to come over and drink with them. I go and get my buddy who happens to be dating one of them to see if he's coming as safe-ride (safe-ride is free university taxi) pulls up to the house to pick these girls up and take them home.

Anyway he had decided to stay for a bit and come over later so I run out there to try to catch this taxi and when I get up to the door, to my horror, I discover that almost every girl in there is one of the girls that is friends with the chick from last fall. It was all I could do to get away from that van as the angry estrogen filled voices sought my ruin. It was awful. I went and enjoyed the rest of the night with a healthy serving of some equally awful domestic beer but jesus, what fucking bitches.

mellotune · 2 years

I was 17 (I am now 22) and I went to a park with a man who had been trying to take me out for a couple of weeks, and the first thing he said to me was, "I think you have a beautiful skull". He also told me he was 19--within a couple of minutes I found out he was 24 and had somehow acquired my families address.

ShawnGupta · 2 years

I know what was the worst date someone else has been on. This girl went on this date with some guy and I tried to motorboat her in an elevator.

annarchism · 2 years

Date 1: I make a stupid move on way to date and get a $300 ticket

Date 2: He hydroplanes and almost crashes into highway wall on the way to the movies.

Date 3: I lose my favorite necklace. He cooks me dinner. Food poisoning.

Date 4: Postponed since his cat dies.

Date 5: He ends up spending the night and we just cuddle. Wake up and he has wet dreamed an insane amount all over my sheets and blankets. Which, not his fault what does in his sheets, but it was a bit gross to wake up to dried.

Date 7: He breaks up with me since wanted to ask out another girl that he had been in love with for months. Who I creepily looked like.

Singularly, these are all small things. However, I'm fairly sure that if we continued to go out, the universe would declare that we needed to die.

sambojomo · 2 years

My worst date ever was when I went to go see Let The Rite One In, which I was really excited about, with a guy who would not shut up during the entire movie. He did not get another date after that.

ADIDAS247 · 2 years

There was a girl that we all knew who had a bit of a reputation for being a tease with guys, but never hooking up with them and she was very beautiful. We talked one night in the bar about wine, and I told her I go to tasting all the time.

I asked her to go to a wine tasting with me, saying I didn't want to go by myself and I already had an extra ticket (It was a wine enthusiast event). She said yes and the date was sent.

Now the day comes and I am working in the city and the event is in the city so I call her and tell her to head in, I'll meet her at the train. She says okay, "We'll be there". I have no idea who the hell "we" is, but she hung up before I got to ask.

Anyway, she shows up and I have a car waiting and... her sister is with her. Her 18 year old sister. I explain that this is a 21 and over event and I only have 2 tickets and it's sold out, has been for a while.

Fuck it, this is taking to long, just read the tl:dr below.

tl;dr: Invited a hard to get girl to a wine tasting, ended up having to spend over $3000 because her and her friggin sister were psychos

GeneralRobert · 2 years

Met a girl on the plane to Vegas. She was really attractive and bright. Finally arranged to meet her for dinner and a show. On the date I asked her what she did for fun. "Oh, I spend most of my free time at the church." Baptist, no less.

Cmingo · 2 years

In high school I ignored some fat chick that wanted me for the longest time until one day she texted me "If I give you my virginity will you talk to me?."

So our first date -- and her first time was arranged at her house after school. I got there a little late carrying some lube and condoms and she called me into her room.

When i walked in, she was using a frozen hotdog to play with her pussy. At first I thought it was gross. Then a second later I thought it was awesome so I got excited and joined in on the action.

By this time the hotdog was melting but I was loving it and fucking her hard with the hotdog.

At one point she wanted a bite of the hotdog so I gave her one.

When I put it back in, my hand kind of jolted and the half-length half-frozen hotdog slipped into her pussy and got lost. You'd be surprised how slippery a hotdog in a pussy is. Thats when shit hit the fan.

Skipping the awkward details of her explaining to her mother over the phone that she needed to go to the ER, I peaced out of the house once she started crying but I hear through the grapevine that the hotdog was successfully removed 3 hours later in the Yale ER.

ikzeidegek · 2 years

After three minutes of chatting over coffee at Starbucks, the woman looks very, very deeply into my eyes and asks "did you know that female kangaroos have three vaginas?"

socially_awkward · 2 years

ctrl+f

Search for my name.

No results.

Sigh of relief.

phudabulah · 2 years

Probably the day after my birthday when I asked my girlfriend of 3 years if she wanted to celebrate by going down to Gameworks in Seattle. Instead she decided to break it to me that she cheated on me. Worst birthday ever.

milky-way · 2 years

2 years ago my friend said she had met a guy who was looking for someone and she thought maybe I'd like him so she set us up on a blind date. I met him at the metro station and the second I saw him I was disappointed. I'm 5'9 and he was about 5'7, a bit chubby and “dirty”. But I thought; why not I'll still give him a chance.

We went to a party which was at my friends house and sat on the balcony whilst he was smoking cigarettes(another turn off for me). He complimented me a lot and seemed to be into me. It was alright until I had the horrible idea of asking him about his last relationship... Turns out he was just out of the hospital for overdosing on Tylenols because his ex broke up with him. I didn't know what to say to him and after all this I didn't want to make things worse by telling him I wasn't interested, so I figured maybe he just needed someone to listen to him. About 2 hours later, I managed to leave and hang out with my friends whilst he hung out with other people. I got loads of texts from him saying he "loved" me and wanted to meet me on the balcony again. People started leaving, but he was still there and waited until the metro closed and couldn't go back home, meaning he had to sleep over with me and my friends. He insisted in sleeping in the same room as me, but my friends didn't let it happen.

Thankfully nothing happened except that he kept waking up and texting me during the night to get up and talk to him outside. I was a it freaked out because he wouldn't leave me alone. The next morning was really awkward, he left, I deleted his phone number and never heard from him again.

Maybe I'm too nice sometimes and I'll never try blind dates or trust my friends judgement on guys.

nom_thee_ack · 2 years

I was in middle school when this happened and my first "date" ever.

I got a call one night from a girl I had a crush on and she wanted to go to the movies. So I said SURE!!! (not really thinking wait... why would this popular girl be calling me, this quite geek of a bad dresser.)

So the next day I show up at the theater early, buy two tickets and wait for her outside the building. It's getting closer and closer to movie time and she's still not there. So I decided to walk in to the theater, thinking maybe she already got her self a ticket. While walking up to the doors I see a couple of her friends pointing and laughing at me.

I stop look at them and turn bright red... I didn't know what else to do but keep walking into the theater, extra ticket in hand. Then I sat through all of My Girl... alone.

I was dreading going in to school the following Monday, because I was gonna have to face her friends and whoever else they called. But, more for the reason that the girl who supposedly called locker was right next to mine. After seeing her first thing in the morning, and her normal reaction of a half-smile, I was pretty confident that her friends didn't involve her.

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