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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]laja2 58 points59 points ago

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Later that night, user pliers was beaten half to death by esteemed vigilante hero Daredevil.

[–]wingobyte 27 points28 points ago

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How does he read the papers?

[–]Andybaby1 10 points11 points ago

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could use something like this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optacon

[–]M4rtinEd3n 5 points6 points ago

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Sounds bad-ass. Just like Megatron.

I want Optacon.

[–]Lukesed 2 points3 points ago

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There's actually a similar device made specifically for grading papers: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visiograde.

[–]ubermorph 49 points50 points ago

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He sensed you.

[–]deev 20 points21 points ago

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blind english teacher

He would sit blindly

I see what you did there.

[–]badjoke33 2 points3 points ago

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I had a music teacher with one glass eye. I sat on his blind side and ate baguettes of French bread with my friend everyday rather than play. We were never caught.

[–]rgower 856 points857 points ago* 

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This question exemplifies the toupée fallacy. It goes like this: I have the unique ability of always being able to spot a man wearing a toupée... but of course, if a man wears a toupée convincing enough to fool me, then I simply don't notice it. I only notice men wearing bad toupées, and the men who wear good toupées go unnoticed.

If a student is good at cheating, they will go unnoticed by definition. So how the hell are you supposed to know what you can't notice?

[–]zem 2386 points2387 points ago

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it comes down to the fact that if you do it that well, and eventually get caught, there'll be hell toupee

[–]JeepTheBeep 57 points58 points ago

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Nah, you'll be fine. I think he's merkin this whole thing up.

[–]hopstar 17 points18 points ago

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If more people knew what a merkin was you would have far more upvotes.

WARNING! NSFW picture on wiki page.

[–]AppleAtrocity 5 points6 points ago

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Thanks for that. I knew what it was, but had never seen one before.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Had no idea what it was, but he gets an upvote now that I do.

[–]WentOverMyHead 407 points408 points ago

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I want to hate you, but I can't

[–]dirkachbar 141 points142 points ago

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do you ever find your self upvoting a less than flawless comment just so the excellent pun to follow will be seen by more? I know I do.

[–]n0t_5hure 120 points121 points ago

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i think its called "tipping the setup."

[–]ifp 27 points28 points ago

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[–]VirgilCaine 15 points16 points ago

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Do you normaly only upvote flawless comments?

[–]SteveRyherd 18 points19 points ago

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redditor for 5 months - You know you have the perfect user name for a toupee thread.

[–]Golden_Kumquat 6 points7 points ago

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I'm surprised you managed to get it.

[–]M4rtinEd3n 38 points39 points ago

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Begging for a joke-explainer. Not a native speaker.

[–]zem 54 points55 points ago

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it's a play on "hell to pay" - you can hear the pronounciation of toupee here

[–]chellomere 11 points12 points ago

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I must say that that pronounciation isn't really logical. But a lot of English isn't.

[–]AkaokA 25 points26 points ago

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It's a borrowed French word; many words in English are borrowed from other languages and use spellings that correspond with the original (non-English) language's rules.

[–]uparrow 9 points10 points ago

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sad thing is, the word in french isn't toupée, its toupet. And a lot of french words lost their original meaning in their english usage. For example, an Entrée in the states is a main meal. In french, it means apetizer. Go figure.

[–]dbrand 18 points19 points ago

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an Entrée in the states is a main meal

in the states. Everywhere else the French meaning is understood.

[–]zem 2 points3 points ago

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yeah. confused the heck out of me the first time i visited the states.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Wait what? It is really? The US never ceases to boggle my mind.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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If you value your sanity, you will disregard the word "lingerie" whenever you see it.

[–]knowsguy 6 points7 points ago

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Chaise Longue is more disturbing.

Translated as long chair, Americans commonly call it a Chase Lounge.

It hurts.

[–]chellomere 2 points3 points ago

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Thanks, TIL that lingerie is not pronounced as if it were English, as it's a french loan word

[–]Jeremy7508 28 points29 points ago

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of all the puns I've seen on reddit, this is by far the best

[–]zem 10 points11 points ago

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thanks :)

[–]khafra 23 points24 points ago

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Of all the puns I've seen on reddit, this was definitely one of them.

[–]whiteshorts12 14 points15 points ago

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dammit, could've had another one. "this is one of zem" now its not funny

[–]cocoabean 18 points19 points ago

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Why is everyone wigging out over this?

[–]kindall 24 points25 points ago

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The two categories of pun are the pun, unintentional (P.U.) and the pun, intentional (P.I.). Sir, you have just given us a magnum P.I.

[–]Climb 58 points59 points ago

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best. pun. ever.

[–][deleted] 85 points86 points ago

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periods. for. emphasis.

[–]PrettyLittleMister 42 points43 points ago

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This. is. punctuation.

[–]hunkacheese 112 points113 points ago

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No, this is Patrick.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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I'm gonna need joke explainer for this one.

[–]hunkacheese 54 points55 points ago

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[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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oh good god this is fucking brilliant. thank you.

[–]Facelessjoe 8 points9 points ago

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That actually happens in an episode of spongebob. It's a good episode.

[–]m1ss1ontomars2k4 2 points3 points ago

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[–]ebcube 5 points6 points ago

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[–]k1dsmoke 11 points12 points ago

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This one was a long investment. Been waiting years to make this joke I assume. Kudos.

[–]zem 5 points6 points ago

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you wound me!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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pun. so good. hurts. help.

[–]Scarker 3 points4 points ago

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Screw you man, you just fit that in there you bastard. Damn it, have an upvote.

[–]goderickspiegel 2 points3 points ago

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upvoted for actually making me lol, as well giving me ammunition for the future against bad toupee's.

[–]tmjoen 2 points3 points ago

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Did you get it from this song by any chance?

[–]hollowgram 2 points3 points ago

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Congrats, you have nearly as much karma for this comment as I have in total. vigorous clappping

[–]rensfriend 2 points3 points ago

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well played sir.

[–]thepassingofdays 6 points7 points ago

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This is a great point, but I have an response to it which I tell my students at the start of each semester. If you're really good at cheating, you probably put some effort into it. If you put that same effort into the class, you'd probably do just as well and actually learn something, maybe even like the class.

[–]StarvingAfricanKid 6 points7 points ago

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nope. learning to write REALLY small, and read really small writing was less effort over time than memorizing Spanish.

[–]drdoooom 2 points3 points ago

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[–]reddirtred 4 points5 points ago

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If the cheating is so sophisticated that I can't tell, then good on ya. While I have no way to know, based on your apposite use of the "toupee fallacy", I would argue there is still (unfortunately) plenty of evidence to say most cheating is not that sophisticated. If so, awesome, you beat the system. I wonder.. if you would have just dedicated that creative energy to studying, would you have needed to cheat?

[–]imgabe 135 points136 points ago

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One of my favorite teachers in high school caught a girl cheating in his class. Being the crafty bastard that he is, he didn't say anything right away. He let her finish her test and hand it in. He took it home and graded it. She got an A.

A couple days later he's handing back the tests. He shows her the paper with the big "A" on it. Then he says loudly, "That's what you would have gotten. If you HADN'T CHEATED", and tore her test up in front of the class.

I don't think anyone tried to cheat in his class after that.

[–]SNESChalmers 64 points65 points ago

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One of my high school teachers did something similar. This guy in our class was blatantly cheating on our World History final exam (he had laid out several pages of notes on the ground near his desk). Our teacher let let the guy finish the 2 hour test and when he went to turn it in, the teacher just ripped it up, threw it in the trash, and said "Have a nice break. See you in summer school!".

[–]mixing 24 points25 points ago

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How was he intending to get away with that?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]TheAtomicMoose 131 points132 points ago

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Bush?

[–]spitfire451 11 points12 points ago

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i'd like to actually waltz through a checkpoint at some time in my life

[–]TheBigPanda 11 points12 points ago

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True,, the "looking like you belong" thing can get you pretty far. Here in China we have many gated communities and almost any other place have security guards. Being a foreigner here you can pretty much walk right into any place you want , apart from government buildings.

[–]final_countdown 4 points5 points ago

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I was with you until the Pentagon example. I'm brown so yeah... they'd notice.

[–]AlexxxG12 5 points6 points ago

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This is one of the greatest lessons my father has ever taught me. If you act like what you're doing is normal, no one will question it. Him and I do a lot of cool shit with that thought in our heads.

[–]TheAtomicMoose 2 points3 points ago

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"look honey, that man is performing incest on his father."

"no honey, look how natural they appear. they are probably lawfully married"

[–]SNESChalmers 6 points7 points ago

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No one in the class could figure that out. The guy was sitting on the opposite side of the room of the teacher, but it was obvious what he was doing. My guess is that he figured he was going to fail anyway, so he might as well try cheating on the off chance he could put a few answers down before the teacher told him to put those papers away.

[–]P-Dub 3 points4 points ago

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Notes on the floor?

That has literally never failed me, and never gotten me caught.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points ago

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Señor Chang?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Donde está el biblioteca? Mi llamo t-bone, la araña discoteca. Discoteca, muñeca, la biblioteca está en bigote grande, perro, manteca. Manteca, bigote, gigante, pequeño cabeza es nieve cerveza es bueno. Buenos díaz, mi gusto patatas frías, el bigote de las cabras es Cameron Díaz.

[–]Fernando_x 5 points6 points ago

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Where is the library? Me name is t-bone, the spider disco. Disco, baby, the library is in big mustache, dog, butter. Butter, mustache, giant, little head is snow beer is good. Good dayz, me like cold potatoes, the mustache of the goats is Cameron Diaz.

Ok, there are things, like the lack gender concordance between names and adjectives or articles, that are impossible to translate. Do we really sound like that when speaking spanish?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Ahh this is awesome. I'm assuming you've never seen the show Community?

This is what the seemingly random rap is about. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcD_Y838DXA

[–]beefjerkier 2 points3 points ago

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oh my god that was the best scene in the entire series so far for me.

[–]dutchmanx86 24 points25 points ago

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public humiliation ftw

[–]cheetah_cage 15 points16 points ago

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i had a teacher in high school who on the first day told us over and over and over and over again, if you turn anything in for this class, use a pen.

on one of the first essay tests someone used a pencil. he ripped off the name so no one could see it and said "now i know i didnt say pencil was ok" and pulls out an eraser and starts erasing the kids essay.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]swaz 6 points7 points ago

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you can change the answers with pencil

[–][deleted] ago* 

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[deleted]

[–]sirith 16 points17 points ago

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I've seen more than a couple kids try this... They'll do the test in pencil, it'll be handed in, get handed back, they carefully erase it and re-write in the correct answers, then go to the teacher and complain they were marked incorrectly...

That, and some teachers I've known just hate how smudgy pencil is...

[–]theskaboss006 3 points4 points ago

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That doesn't mean he should erase the kid's essay though, he could just have a policy that if it's done in pencil then we wouldn't accept it for a regrade.

[–]anonemouse2010 4 points5 points ago

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On exams at university, if you wanted something remarked it had to be in pen. Otherwise students could rub things out and rewrite it claiming it was marked wrong.

[–]cheetah_cage 4 points5 points ago

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this was for written stuff only. i dont know how you would copy and paste in an essay test. the reason for it was pencil can be hard to read if you dont have decent sharp pencils, but blue or black pen is always readable.

he demanded one time this kid use his computer in the room because he had the worst hand writing ever. someone else said it wasnt fair because of spell check, and the teacher responded, dont worry, spell check isnt going to help if you dont know any of the answers.

[–]NotClever 4 points5 points ago

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Happened to my buddy, except he wasn't actually cheating. The teacher had noticed someone near him cheating by some cue and assumed he was in on it, so he just walked up to him and tore his exam up. Can't remember if he ever got him to believe he wasn't cheating.

Incidentally, that teacher's best friend (both of them the coolest teachers we had) flipped out on us in a history midterm one time and thought our ENTIRE CLASS was cheating. We had 2 sections of the class and one had taken the exam right before the other, with a 10 minute break in between. He specifically said he was trusting us not to get answers from them. Then he walks in and sees a military formation (history class) drawn on the board which happened to be related to a battle that the major essay was on; some of us had just been going over that battle because, well, it might be on the exam. He assumed we had heard that it was the subject of the essay and changed it on the fly to be something ridiculously obscure. That was a mean one.

[–]speiler 40 points41 points ago* 

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At my uni in the school of engineering the professors don't even stick around in the rooms during the exams. We sign an honor code stating that we won't cheat and that we will report others who have violated the honor code. Not to say that it doesn't happen but I can honestly say that I have never seen anyone attempt to cheat.

Edit: I guess I should also say that for most of the exams you allowed one "cheat sheet" to put the random facts that you might have to look up, to be honest thought they are rarely helpful as the tests are not designed to test you on how well you can memorize something but rather how well you understand it.

[–]dragoneye 33 points34 points ago

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I believe the cheat sheet method is probably the best method to prevent cheating on tests at university. My prof.'s still stick around for the tests, but I don't think I have ever seen anyone get thrown out of an exam.

I'm not sure I get the point of making cheat sheets for tests though. If I've gone to the effort to figure out what to put on a cheat sheet, I've probably learnt the material well enough to not need it, provided I'm given a formula sheet.

[–]walesmd 21 points22 points ago

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That's the point - by having students develop on cheat sheet of their own it prevents students from building other cheat sheets - they have to prioritize information (or write very small).

Then, as the teacher, since you know each student will have certain bits of information on the material in their cheat sheets you are forced to create an exam that tests the student's knowledge/understanding of the subject, rather than just basic fact memorization.

[–]pmerkaba 14 points15 points ago

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Professors from about half of my classes have allowed a cheat sheet, telling us that the exams tested us on the application and integration of concepts.

One prefaced the midterm with this: "You may use one double-sided sheet of notes, but no magnifying glasses! Calculators, computers, and cell phones are not permitted. Slide rules, abaci, sextants, astrolabes, and sundials are permitted—in fact, they are encouraged."

[–]dragoneye 4 points5 points ago

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One of my finals last year was something the professors called an engineering essay. We were given a design problem related to the project we had been working on and we had to go through the design process doing the required calculations to come up with a solution. For the exam you were allowed to bring anything in that couldn't communicate with anything. So pretty much anything but a laptop, cellphone and graphing calc (we were forced to use a specific calculator).

[–]dbag127 5 points6 points ago

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what's your discipline? Most of my tests are open book open note, I typically make a cheat sheet, and averages usually hover around 60% (in thermo, usually closer to 30%).

Gotta love Chemical Engineering.

[–]dragoneye 5 points6 points ago

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Mechanical Engineering, the majority of my courses either have very comprehensive formula sheets (even so I had a multivariable and vector calc exam last year with a ~30% average), or you are allowed to bring a cheat sheet into. I currently have one course where the prof. won't allow us to have a formula sheet, and it sucks.

[–]diaperboy19 2 points3 points ago

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My school does the same as speiler's (it may be the same one), and usually you don't get a formula sheet, so you include them all on your cheat sheet.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points ago* 

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The smudged writing on the arm and ink all over the hands gives it away most of the time.

Happens alot on the Astro Navigation exam.

[–]lameth 50 points51 points ago

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You know, I tried to ask the librarian for help on the subject before the exam, but all I could get out of him is "ook."

[–]illuminachos 15 points16 points ago

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tell him you don't speak monkey.

[–]aloofus 10 points11 points ago

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Orangutan, if I'm getting the reference right.

[–]MisterVimes 10 points11 points ago

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you are, sir, you are

[–]Yikka 5 points6 points ago

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Upvote for finding your cow.

[–]illuminachos 3 points4 points ago

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[–]DragonyTheDragon 2 points3 points ago

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illuminachos will be missed.

[–]lameth 4 points5 points ago

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eerie silence

[–]BubbaJimbo 3 points4 points ago

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I'm sad that only 17 people so far know what the hell you're talking about.

[–]SammyGreen 4 points5 points ago

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Happens alot on the Astro Navigation exam.

I got really excited at first thinking there was a class on navigating through space! Then found out it was about nautical navigation using the stars. Cool but my inner geek was still hoping for a pseudo star fleet academy!

[–]probablynothing 31 points32 points ago

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I had a buddy that took a linear algebra class last semester. After the first test the prof stands up in front of the class and announces that he knows that someone cheated on the test. He offered leniency to the offender if they would fess up to him later during office hours. 5 people showed up. Genius.

[–]jmcqk6 5 points6 points ago

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Oh wow this is brilliant. It can be especially effective used on the first quiz, if it's relatively early in the semester. Students are still dropping out of the class, and one could imply the illusion that the cheater was forced out.

[–][deleted] 116 points117 points ago

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I had this awesome teacher. He was a psych prof, and one of the smartest men I had ever met. Come test day, he looks around the room and there's like 8 men wearing baseball caps. He specifically asks 5 of them to take off their hats. One of them complains that the other three were allowed to keep their hats on, and thought it was unfair. The prof then stated that the three students still wearing hats had periodically worn hats throughout the semester, but the 5 he had requested remove their hats had not worn a hat in class until test day, so he suspected their reasons for doing so involved using them for cheating.

[–]Zeek1 6 points7 points ago

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How could a baseball hat help one cheat?

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points ago

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It can generally be used to disguise cheating. While answers could be written on the underside of the brim, it also creates a shield that one could use to obstruct the proctors view of their eyes, allowing them to look at someone else's test paper, or any other reference material for that matter. It makes it easier to check notes on one's palm, or to bring a small piece of paper near ones eyes while rubbing one's brow or adjusting one's hat, and do so undetected. The hat can basically be used as a component to further disguise one's efforts towards cheating.

[–]RubyRhod 28 points29 points ago

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Being a baseball fan helped me get through multi-variable calculus.

[–]ultimatt42 61 points62 points ago

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Being an Oakland A's fan pretty much guaranteed I got 20% of the questions correct on any scantron exam.

[–]sundowntg 11 points12 points ago

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And as an A's fan, that was probably the only ones you got right.

I keed, I keed-Giants Fan

[–]nukeleearr 11 points12 points ago

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I think the better question is why the fuck would you cheat in a psychology class?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]JeepTheBeep 26 points27 points ago

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Let me just check... my... hat...

[–]GreatXenophon 2 points3 points ago

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Answers can be written on the underside of the brim.

[–]taoofchris 20 points21 points ago

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I like when a student turns in an essay that's obviously too good for them to have written. I'll google a line or two, and write the url they copied from on top of the page.

[–]nickiter 5 points6 points ago

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Yep. If I suspected cheating, I'd just google paragraphs at a time without quotes and usually got the source within 30 seconds of searching.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]coconutcream 21 points22 points ago

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Aquafina, by odion. It's illegal in 9 countries. Yep... it's made with bit's of real cheat sheet, so you know it's good.

[–]cant_read_captchas 12 points13 points ago

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60% of the time it worked every time.

ಠ_ಠ

but seriously..... what happened during the other 40%? did you get caught?

[–]dirkachbar 20 points21 points ago

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sex panther

[–]cheetah_cage 6 points7 points ago

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Im ron burgundy?

[–]Edman274 13 points14 points ago

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[–]NotMyRedditAccount 59 points60 points ago* 

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When the TA's son turned in a math paper & put "Answers will vary" for questions 12. What is your height in centimeters? and 13. Convert your height to feet and inches, I had my suspicions. But then I looked in the answer key the TA had taken home the night before, and sure enough, he was right.

Edit: clarity

[–]color_me_impressed 32 points33 points ago

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Converting centimeters to inches? Does 1st grade have TA's now?

[–]Median1 19 points20 points ago

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Could be liberal arts math. My wife was taught what a number line was in college.

[–]moogs 18 points19 points ago

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My reaction to your comment was "A line of numbers? Like an axis or something?"

I have a computer science degree.

After googling to make sure I confirmed that my vocab sucks.

[–]Monolithic 1 point2 points ago

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I'm surprised you guys actually converted between the two systems. I know our schools were straight metric no matter what. Nothing at all was done in pounds, inches, ect... even though I feel it would have been extremely helpful for them to teach us it in school how to convert. (I'm Canadian btw)

I did eventually look up the conversion on my own, but I know 90% of people my age wouldn't know how many cm are in an inch.

[–]efitz11 4 points5 points ago

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We are taught both systems from the beginning. This is because almost everything here is Imperial. However, when you get to things like physics and chemistry, (almost) everything you do is in metric.

That said, I know I am 6'5" but I have no idea how many centimeters that is, nor do I care enough to google the conversion.

[–]tbsui 14 points15 points ago

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Teachers on reddit: I have had this question for almost 3 years in college. Do you make your scantrons so there are roughly the same number of correct A,B,C,D answers if I were to tally up the total answers at the end of the test? I really want to know the answer!

[–]Commander1812 24 points25 points ago

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Does not matter. What I did with the old Scantrons was this: answer the test as best as you can and then mark the little box that says Key. You get a perfect score while everyone getting grader behing you is getting graded based on your answers. Never been caught.

[–]trumpetporvida 23 points24 points ago

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dude, thats just wrong... its one thing to cheat, but another entirely to fuck other people over...

[–]Aikidi 8 points9 points ago

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You realize if you did this in high school, you could have ruined someone's life forever by bombing them on so many tests that they ended up going to a lesser college for it.

[–]wolfy47 2 points3 points ago

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If the teacher is using good test making software, it will randomize the order of the answers before printing the test, but very few teachers use this.

Most teachers just write the test up themselves and try to mix up the answers by hand. This means the distribution of correct answers is rarely evenly distributed. Most books on test taking strategies will mention this uneven distribution, and tell you to not to guess A because most teachers avoid making the correct answer the first one that students read.

[–]bobzor 2 points3 points ago

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No, I write my questions randomly, then use exam software to scramble the questions and answers and randomly produce 4 or more versions for me. I don't care what the exam software does - I've seen strings of 6 As in a row. By the time I see the keys the versions are already printed and being photocopied so I'm not going to change a thing. I could have an exam with 20 As in a row for all I care.

Also bubbling a 'key' option would not work at least in my case. The keys I give to the Scantron people have no student ID code...so a student trying to be the 'key' would never get their version graded to their name (IDs are also checked when the student turns the scantron in so we'd see if it was blank anyhow). And I get a report of every question and the percentage right/wrong so will go through the exam and verify the questions with less than 30% correct answers. The reports also correlate each question to student grades.

[–][deleted] 81 points82 points ago

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Socks around my room I know arnt mine. Hair that isn't mine in my razor, she keeps going out alone

[–]fixmymugplease 13 points14 points ago

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Does your baby resemble you in any way?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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You know he's a red head I always wonder about that...

[–]brawr 3 points4 points ago

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I'm embarrassed that it took me so long to get that

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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Once I was accused of cheating in a remedial English class. I had always been a pretty decent writer but I bombed the English placement test , probably due to anxiety. I worked my ass off on the first paper ,the day my teacher asked me to stay after class.

He started the conversation by saying "This paper is beyond the level that I would expect for this course",

I responded "thank you",

he said "I don't think you wrote it",

I said "you have never seen my writing before" ,

he said "this looks like the work of a much more advanced student" ,

I said "then why did you give me a B instead of an A?".

We went back and forth for a while, never really getting anywhere. The next paper I turned in got a C, I asked him about it,

he stated that "my first paper was written at an English 103 level(two classes ahead of my current class) and he would grade everything I turned in as if I was a student in his English 103 class"

I didn't handle it well after that, I should have argued my case better or complained to someone but I didn't. I became frustrated with the way my papers were being graded and eventually stopped going to class , I ended up failing the class due to excessive absences(more than 3 in a semester) .

** TLDR; I was falsely accused of cheating early in the semester, it had an extremely negative effect on my performance for the entire semester.**

[–]ISOCRACY 37 points38 points ago

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The question is...does cheating really hurt? Re-writing little cheat sheets might be the only out of work class some of the students do. It is in my opinion school does a very poor job in getting students ready for the real world when the objective is to commit information from text to short term memory. I’ve been an IT professional for 20+ years and have never had to give a closed resource answer to anything important. I use training materials, a knowledge and historical database of previous issues, and often Google to get answers. Now...with Google available to anyone with a cell phone...why is there a need to memorize small amounts of information for the short term when what people really need is to be trained how to find answers.

[–]nickiter 32 points33 points ago

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I often found myself judging courses by their exam format - open-notes/open-book/open-internet exams generally meant the absolute hardest classes. In my opinion, denying access to normal real-world resources is nothing but an artificial increase in difficulty. If a test is made trivial by access to commonly available materials, the content of the course is probably too simple.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Open-internet doesn't seem fair to me. You could quite easily ask anyone else the answer or even pay for answers if you had the internet available.

[–]nickiter 13 points14 points ago

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Open internet was only an option on engineering systems exams where the answer was a long, involved process of equations, diagrams, and explanations - even asking a professional engineer for help via the internet would take nearly as long. We had access to examples of similar problems, even, with step-by-step solutions - literally anything we needed. If you didn't know the material, though, you would have no chance of finishing in time.

I don't believe those tests were "cheatable" short of literally having someone walk you through every step of the test as you were doing it, or completely copying the exam from a master. The test was essentially "when you leave here, can you do engineering work of this kind?" I strongly approve of that meta-question.

[–]walesmd 22 points23 points ago

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Definitely hurts.

In my Spanish class, everytime we took a test, someone would turn the thermostat all the way up. 5 minutes into the test, we'd tell the teacher it was hot, she'd walk back to turn the thermostat down and someone would ninja up to take the answer key.

It would then be passed around the class and the first student to turn in their test would replace the answer key.

I don't think I ever read a single question on any of the tests. My daughter (3 years old) knows more Spanish (thanks Dora!) than I do after 2 years of it.

[–]formated4tv 22 points23 points ago

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Swiper no swiping!

[–]prof0ak 5 points6 points ago

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wow. thats dedication and a cooperative effort.

[–]walesmd 2 points3 points ago

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Small school - class sizes of 18-24. At least 25% of the class would be related, with 95% of the total class having grown up together since preschool.

Wasn't hard to pull off and the 5% that moved into town later in life got included in the antics pretty easily.

[–]lametacomeat 5 points6 points ago

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For some degrees, it is absolutely not okay to cheat. If one goes into engineering, medicine, or the like, his poor performance puts others' lives at risk. The world does not need people who cheated their way through school fixing people and building things that could kill people.

[–]Loathar 4 points5 points ago

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When that engineer who cheated in class is building your bridge, i hope it doesn't hurt.

[–]tilio 4 points5 points ago

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if he's a really good cheater, he'll cheat for that answer too.

[–]guyincorporated 4 points5 points ago

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I'd rather drive across a bridge built by someone who actually passed their civil engineering courses legitly, thanks.

[–]dtardif 33 points34 points ago

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I was a TA for a chemistry professor to whom I brought evidence of falsifying data. She shook her head with a small smile and brushed my anger off. She said "I know they're cheating, but if you can cheat well enough to accurately falsify the data, then I have taught you what you need to know from the experiment." She was a pragmatist.

Another professor of mine, a wily old Thermo teacher, had a student come up to him with a test. The student was insisting that the professor had marked his correct answer as wrong (this was after the prof had gone over the answers). With a twinkle in his eye, the professor said, "No problem, I'll fix it, but when I look at this paper under magnification, I will find that the ink from the pen is on top of the pencil graphite, not the other way around, right?" The student had a moment of panic and quickly took his test back and slunk away. Called out!

Another student, when I was a TA, spent all night writing tons of formulae on a desk in an old test hall, planning on getting the seat early and copying from it. We noticed it as we walked in, and decided to stake the seat out. However, a non-cheating and studious student sat in the desk because she got there earlier than the cheater. We waited for the test to start, and the student who wrote the formulae stumbled in later, Red Bull in hand. He asked her to swap desks with her and we nailed him.

I was excellent at catching cheaters, but my methods of reprimand weren't well liked. In a hall of 300 students, as a TA for Physics II, I found a student cheating, and snatched his test, ripped it up, and then broke his pencil and yelled at him to get out. I got remanded for my draconian punishments, especially since the university had some backwards cheating policy, where a fellow student had to out the cheater, or it wasn't enforceable.

Many teachers are excellent at catching it. Students aren't as clever as they think.

[–]smpx 9 points10 points ago

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Another student spent all night writing tons of formulae on a desk in an old test hall

Experienced a similar situation-- student wrote formulae on a pillar near the seat that he usually occupies. Instead of having him change seats however, the professor decided to have a little fun, showed up early, and changed small details in every formula.

[–]yeahyeahyeahyeah 22 points23 points ago* 

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especially since the university had some backwards cheating policy

This is a huge gripe with me.

My university gives you a "free pass" on your first plagiarism. If the prof. reports someone for plagiarism (rare), and the student goes to a disciplinary, they get deferred academic suspension. If they cheat again, they're out. So everyone plagiarizes.

It's ridiculous. I'm a TA, and in one class last year ~50% blatantly plagiarized wikipedia on a take home assignment. What happened to them? Nothing. The prof didn't want to turn all of those kids in to the dean. In my current class, maybe a quarter of the students aren't citing sources correctly. Technically, it's plagiarism, but none of their other professors seem to care. Their attitude is so lax about it, it's infuriating. They act like I'm being an asshole for making them cite direct quotations from other works!

Edit: Spelling mistakes, they happen.

[–]I_LOVE_ANAL_SEX 17 points18 points ago

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wtf kind of university is this?

[–]sporrow 6 points7 points ago

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The 'messing up your citations' makes it plagiarism is bullshit sometimes. Sophomore year I mis-cited (like, incorrect format on my Works Cited page) a GOVERNMENT DOCUMENT (an executive order) and my prof wrote a note saying "I could nail you for plagiarism for this." He didn't, but still.

[–]dtardif 6 points7 points ago

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I had a tough class with tests that were very brutal. The Chinese kids in front of me would all just talk in Mandarin during the test. The professor didn't stay in the room because of the "honor code". I outed them three times and nothing came of it. It would make me enraged. It brings my piss to a boil just thinking about it now.

[–]arnie_apesacrappin 2 points3 points ago

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I was a TA for a chemistry professor to whom I brought evidence of falsifying data. She shook her head with a small smile and brushed my anger off. She said "I know they're cheating, but if you can cheat well enough to accurately falsify the data, then I have taught you what you need to know from the experiment." She was a pragmatist.

In my high school chemistry class, we were required to do the lab and then calculate the percentage of error between our actual measurements and the theoretical results we should have gotten. This was how we were graded on labs and it was a significant portion of our grades. I always had the values written down for every step of what my expected result should be so I could make sure that I would end up with an A on the lab. I never blindly filled in the lab paperwork without doing the experiment, but I sure as hell restarted a few labs that went horribly awry.

[–]scurvy_pirate43 28 points29 points ago

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Honestly, I can tell every time if someone is cheating on a test. Their body language gives them away. Especially in a large class, if you see the multitude of students as a whole entity by looking past the individuals and just seeing the "motion" of the students as a whole there should be no deviation in the overall uniform "motion" of the students (its almost brownian). All movements should appear natural and unforced and all the heads should be looking down most of the time. If you spot an anomaly in the overall motion (student is tense, movement appears unnatural, head is looking up too much) it stands out much more against the backdrop of the natural motion of the class. I just keep a close eye on the few anomalies and 80% of the time they are attempting to cheat in some way.

However, much to my chagrin, we have to let most cheaters go. The amount of paperwork involved in giving a student a F for cheating is monumental. Not to mention the possible law suits involved when that student decides to take the university to court.

[–]chaud 40 points41 points ago

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I look up between every few questions or maybe even multiple times per difficult question just to see what is going on/what the TAs are doing/take a break. Taking a test is boring and tedious.

[–]just_commenting 6 points7 points ago

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That makes sense for the most part.

I'd be screwed, though - my neck always gets really tight during exams, so I have to stretch and roll my neck every fifteen minutes or so. Couldn't see someone else's exam if I tried (don't wear my glasses during exams), but I'd probably set off your alarms.

[–]CuilRunnings 8 points9 points ago

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Ways we used to cheat in high school:

  • Typing out our notes on a 1"x1" square of paper in size 1 font
  • Typing notes then rolling them around the inside of a clean pen
  • Recording our notes, loading them to iPod, and putting them through the sleeve of sweatshirt

There are more but those are the three best in my mind.

[–]MorningNapalm 4 points5 points ago

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I record my notes as different tracks on my iPod. I'll have music on it as well, but if I get stuck I just flick through until I get to 'Aromatic Alkanes' and away we go.

[–]Aikidi 15 points16 points ago

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My favorite method was "Never forget anything any teacher ever says."

[–]deefjuh 23 points24 points ago

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My biology teacher was a great woman.

She told us not to cheat. And right after that she said that anyone who gave her their cheat-notes after the test would not get in trouble. She just wanted to know what kind of information everybody thought to be hard and wanted to adjust her lessons to it. She got a lot of cheatnotes and changed some of the classes.

I also feel bad I once stole an exam from right under her nose. She was explaining stuff, and I just simply was paging through her ringbinder. I then stumbled upon the stack with our next exams(already copied to hand out so she wouldnt notice missing one) and I just took it out. Whole class got (on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being best) a 9 on average(while the other class had a 7), but she "thought she could explain it, cause we were actively participating in her class".

I somehow still feel bad about it: I didn't need to cheat(cause I learned the stuff) and yet I still did....

[–]dutchmanx86 19 points20 points ago

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I somehow still feel bad about it

Somehow?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Somehow?

meaning that he feels bad but, but he is conflicted about whether those feelings make sense given the circumstances.

[–]TheMrMarriott 75 points76 points ago

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Nice try students.

[–]oildig 4 points5 points ago

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I'd be curious to know how often educators know students are cheating, but allow them to get away with it anyway. At a university level, it can sometimes be difficult to conclusively prove that someone was cheating, so many professors begrudgingly let the students get away with it. Have any educators out there ever let someone get away with cheating?

[–]yeahyeahyeahyeah 3 points4 points ago

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I'm a teaching assistant at a public university. I've been a TA for two semesters. Both semesters the students have had to write 5-7, 3 page response papers over the course of the semester. I get to know their writing styles pretty well and when I get a paper that deviates wildly from their previous writing, it's obvious.

[–]cheetah_cage 19 points20 points ago

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ive been accused of that bullshit. my explanation was i hated their stupid class and did all the homeworks drunk except for the last one because it was worth more. they believed me.

[–]bigsandwich 13 points14 points ago

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yes. When they are breathing

[–]Beast_of_Burden 10 points11 points ago

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One of my high school teachers gave a kid's friends a sheet of paper with all the wrong answers for the test, knowing that said kid cheats on every test. His friends said that the answers were from another student who had taken the test earlier in the day. My teacher made it a point to say that the student whose "answers" the kid had, received the highest score so far on the test. A few days later when we got the test back the kid got a 4, only because he changed 2 answers around. The teacher asked everyone to congratulate the kid on his great score, saying that he set him up.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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That seems pretty obvious a setup.

[–]Beast_of_Burden 4 points5 points ago

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lets just say the kid was cheating for a reason haha

[–]iamafish 2 points3 points ago

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Isn't this entrapment?

[–]AmbitionOfPhilipJFry 8 points9 points ago

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I work in an ivy league med school and students cheat all the time. My protocol is to turn them into the director of the program, who tells them not to do it again. Nothing ever happens and its demoralizing to see a different standard for med students at a prestigious place.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I accuse PhonieMcRingRing of creating this thread ON PURPOSE.

[–]metamorphaze 7 points8 points ago

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I usually give two forms of a test. When the students have the answers for one on the other . . . oh yeah. And:

--the lean

--the "look at the teacher. is he looking at me? look at my paper. look at the teacher. look down". They're a big difference between nervous about tests and trying to cheat.

--the cell phone. oh man. if i could ban these in the classroom--just for those 90 minutes!

I wonder how hard it is to detect a cell phone jammer. i mean--they're only illegal if you get caught, right? just like cheating?

[–]fireonhigh555 2 points3 points ago

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Why can't you ban cell phones? We're often told during exams that if we're spotted with a cell phone, no matter what the reason, we automatically get a zero for the exam. When people complain that they just use their phones as clocks, most professors just tell them to buy a watch, and that's that.

[–]Arntegio 2 points3 points ago

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I dislike cheating, yet participate in it myself, due to some of the inane tests that teachers come up with. My Art History course required us to memorize the artist, painting name, date, and style for 20-30 paintings per test, one for each art period (about 1 test every 3 weeks), and write them out with only a picture of the painting for a clue. I could tell you about the subject matter, the artist's reason for painting it, how it was unique, etc, but I didn't always remember the exact name. So I ended up writing the names of paintings and artists I knew I wouldn't remember on a 2x1 slip of paper. It was just memorizing paintings, not really learning about art.

Occasionally, for chemistry or calculus, I'd write formulae on the inside edge of my fingers - I'm not good at rote memorization. Conscious of the body language I put off, I was careful to either keep my head down or (if I needed to look up) look thoughtful and determined. I was always considered a great, model student - always participated, knew my stuff. I did excellent on my own on essays and tests that required actual thought, not regurgitating facts - so frankly, I don't feel bad at all.

[–]Timmetie 2 points3 points ago

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A teacher, who was a bit of a dick and practical joker, stuck a fake cheatsheet under a girl's desk. He then pretended to find it during final exams to which she ran out crying and screaming.

I really don't know what he thought would have happened but I don't think it was that.

[–]LittlBitOfAFullGlass 8 points9 points ago

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Usually when he doesn't answer my calls or texts and suddenly he has all of these unexplained "detentions" with Mr. Zewalski. I know he's cheating, I am just too afraid to hear it.

[–]ZoidbergMD 14 points15 points ago

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This question makes no sense.

[–]ozzman54 11 points12 points ago

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My roommate is a teacher, and this is the best trick he has.

Middle of an exam, he will tell the class he is going to call random people to come to the front of the room and answer questions on the chalkboard.

What he does next is genius. He calls the kids he knows for sure do not cheat up to the front first. Then he watches the kids who are still sitting down like a hawk. It's incredibly easy for him to see the kids who get nervous and flustered about answering a question in front of everyone (where they can not cheat).

Afterwards, he just keeps an eye on the kids who get nervous and flustered.

[–]dutchmanx86 79 points80 points ago

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Feel bad for the kid with social anxiety in the crowd.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points ago

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Agreed. That is why I never force my students to speak. I know it freaks some of them out.

[–]el0rg 15 points16 points ago

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They've gotta learn somehow, I thought that was sort of the point of having students speak in front of the class. If a student can't handle speaking in front of some classmates, imagine them at a panel interview, or giving a presentation to management in the workplace.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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Well, some jobs just do not require it.

And, ok, where required, you can at least restrict it. Don't have them constantly sitting on the edge of their seats.

[–]theonlybradever 4 points5 points ago* 

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this reminds me of a current story in Quebec:

"They argued Naema had been unreasonable in her demands, which reportedly included giving oral presentations with her back facing the co-ed class."

this article doesn't cover it all, but essentially, while doing an oral presentation in a language class, she demanded to be allowed to:

1) wear her niqab 2) stand at the back of the class 3) face the back wall instead of the other students. 4) she requested male students be placed in specific parts of the classroom and be required to face away from her.

personally, i say kick her out of the class. but whatever, in my eyes, her demands are ridiculous.

[–]el0rg 3 points4 points ago

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“She's devastated,” Mr. Majzoub said. “This woman was insisting on being part of Quebec society, on integrating.”

Wow, if she really insists on integrating with society she's going to have to let up on the ridiculous demands.. is that how it's done where she's from? I can't imagine a setting where that's normal. I respect people's religions but I think niqab's are ridiculous and I feel sorry for the women that have to wear them.. especially in the climate they generally wear them in. I would also have a problem trusting or communicating with anyone who refused to show me their face, so I can see where the teachers are coming from.

[–]HMSuperb 7 points8 points ago

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Who wouldn't get nervous and flustered in this situation?

[–]floppyflaps 2 points3 points ago

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What a flawed method that doesn't help pick out cheaters at all. Not everyone's going to be completely sure of themselves on each question. People are going to be nervous because of messing up in front of the class.

If anything, this is just picking out the guys in the crowd who can't get a date, not the ones who are cheating.

[–]tswurve 7 points8 points ago

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I am a fish