this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2010
61 points (72% like it)
99 up votes 38 down votes
all 198 comments

fornoone 155 points156 points 6 months ago* [-]

First, try to take a step back. 'Rape' fantasy is probably the single most common fantasy for women. It doesn't mean she wants to be raped. If you play it out, it does not mean you're raping her, or that you're a bad person, or that you're forcing her or betraying her trust. The fact that she has told you this in itself implies a lot of trust in you and your relationship. Admitting to desiring something, if only in play, that we feel is among the most reprehensible human acts is very difficult and scary. As someone who also has rape (or 'non-consensual') fantasies and a boyfriend who is less eager (though certainly willing), I have a few pieces of advice.

  • Read up on the idea of rape play. Someone else already suggested Dan Savage (Savage Love). I love him; he takes a no-nonsense and non-puritanical approach to sex and kink, and reading his columns will acquaint you with so many scarier and more alarming kinks that you'll come out thrilled your girlfriend is so standard. Trust me.

  • Talk about it. What does 'rape play' mean to your girlfriend? Does she just want you to hold her down and fuck her? Surprise her in a black mask, tie her down and call her names? Slap her or gag her? There are so many different gradations of rape play, and some might be far different than what your girlfriend actually wants.

  • Playing into this same idea is the need for setting limits. Know how far you can go before you start. Can you cum on her face? Play with anal? Pull her hair? Both of you have limits, and you should both know them. Pushing sexual limits at the same time that you're playing with new emotional components can be tricky.

  • Also, romantic elements integrated with forceful play can be very powerful. Sometimes a kiss or touch that would be romantic in any other situation can, when forced, be a more total demonstration of domination than 'just' sex. An idea for you to play with.

  • Start small. This can be pretty easy; it can be pretty easy to make someone feel like they're being dominated. It doesn't even have to be sex; one of the best times I've had was when, in a spooning position, my boyfriend just held me, grabbed my wrists and wrapped his legs around mine, and I struggled. No sex. Later you can move to fingering her like this; it's not physically demanding, and really hot. When you're on top, putting your hands on her shoulders or wrists is another simple way to evoke the feelings she might be interested in. Simple words like 'I'm going to fuck you, and you can't stop me' can also go a long way.

  • If you're still nervous, make a script. Talk through with your girlfriend beforehand what each of you will do. An example might be that you start at the door, with her pushed against a wall, you pulling her clothes or fingering her or forcing kisses. Then, you'll mover her to the bed and fuck her in missionary. Planning out steps does not make the actual experience any less kinky or erotic, but can go a long way to make both parties more comfortable and the experience more successful.

  • Understand that this is just play. I said it before, and many will tell you again. This is not rape. It can be hard to get over this. Neither of you are a 'bad person' for playing with this. It's fun.

  • After you try anything, talk again. What did you like? What did she like? What should you try again, and what didn't go so well? Discuss the changes you might like to make and ideas that might play out well in the future. This is so important for any sexual relationship, but even more so when you're role-playing a game with power differences.

  • Have fun.

EDIT

  • Don't be worried if you get off on pinning her down. One of the biggest turn-ons to anyone is an adrenaline rush, and you will certainly get one if you're near-wrestling with your girl, apart from any emotional connections.

4mg 44 points45 points 6 months ago[-]

This is an excellent post and you should listen to this advice.

CEOofEarthMITTROMNEY 25 points26 points 6 months ago[-]

This is an excellent response and you should listen to this advice.

Dorama1987 27 points28 points 6 months ago[-]

This is excellent wit and you should acknowledge its brevity.

Euphorix 30 points31 points 6 months ago[-]

This is an excellent circlejerk, and you should upvote us all.

msten19 5 points6 points 6 months ago[-]

Shut up woman get on my horse.

frozenfire 10 points11 points 6 months ago[-]

Did anyone else, who is subscribed to /r/shittyadvice, mistake this thread for one from that subreddit, and spend the entire time reading this well-thought-out post wondering when "stick it in her pooper" was going to appear?

Dude_From_Nickelback 13 points14 points 6 months ago[-]

Take it from me, a guy who's had plenty of experience forcing women on tour: this girl knows what she's talking about. You've gotta man up and think of it as playing a game with your girlfriend. In your mind, she has to become a little slut that you're going to toy with. She wants to feel not only helpless, but degraded as a woman. This is key. The rape fantasy is about losing control and becoming objectified, used. Most women secretly desire to feel this way from time to time.

And NO, that doesn't mean they want to be actually raped.

mastertwisted 12 points13 points 6 months ago[-]

Some women like the humiliation aspect more than others. That's why he needs to talk to her about what she expects.

sjokkis -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

i love this user

delti90 [S] 4 points5 points 6 months ago[-]

I honestly don't understand why rape fantasies are so common. the big thing that worries me is, what if I do it and she wasn't just playing along or anything, she just legitimately didn't want to have sex. Then hates me or is scared of me or something?

opportuneport 8 points9 points 6 months ago[-]

This is why she will have a safe word. that means, at any moment, at any point, she can say "banana", or whatever you've negotiated beforehand, and you will stop, immediately, no questions asked.

The reason it's hot is TRUST. She trusts you. She trusts you to not ACTUALLY rape her. To hold her down, to be rough, to fuck her hard, but not actually do anything she doesn't want. And the reason you know she's really enjoying it is she's not using her safe word.

charlesgrodinfan 2 points3 points 6 months ago* [-]

Start reading the Savage Love columns and listening to the podcasts. Read fornoone's comment and matertwisted's comment . To be honest it sounds like you're not at all ready to handle this sort of thing. My personal recommendation is to do the research, keep her informed and talk, and revisit it in a couple months if you're still together. Don't rush it or you might do something you regret.

opportuneport 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

further note--- if you don't fully understand the concept of a safe word....... don't start playing with this kind of fantasy until you do.

papagenu 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

SAFEWORD. Also, Safeword.

If she says it, you have to switch back into being her boyfriend within a second. If something happened that freaked her out, you make sure you're there reminding her that everything is okay.

mastertwisted 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

That was very well said. Awesome job; upvote!

nolimitsoldier 83 points84 points 6 months ago[-]

I love all the comments from people who have never done this.

My girl loves rape fantasy. She had never done it before so let me explain what we did:

  1. SAFE WORD, NO FREAKING JOKE, GET A SAFE WORD
  2. Talk about it, ALOT.
  3. Start small, just pin her down while you rail her. Almost all girls love this.
  4. Have her start to fight back, or say "no"

Go from there. What is scary is when you get off really fast when she fights back...men are sick fucks.

Keep us posted.

telephonecompany 27 points28 points 6 months ago[-]

Safe word suggestion: fluggaenkdechioebolsen. [Eurotrip]

[deleted] 26 points27 points 6 months ago[-]

My girlfriend starting doing the whole "No .. stop it!" during sex. Not in a rape way, but in a playful way with no fighting or anything.

Gotta admit ... it surprised me how much of a turn on it was.

ratbastid 19 points20 points 6 months ago[-]

Very much agree. A couple times my wife and I have ended up sort of wrestlefucking. We didn't really plan it, it just sort of evolved. Good stuff.

[deleted] 18 points19 points 6 months ago[-]

a new sport is born, someone call the olympics guy

JimmyShockTreatment 6 points7 points 6 months ago[-]

A lot more people would watch it -- even if it was tape-delayed.

southamerican_man -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

look up "ultimate surrender"... waaaaaay ahead of you there.

mekura -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

I believe it's actually the oldest sport.

wildmXranat 4 points5 points 6 months ago[-]

wrestlefucking favorite new word !

_painful_sex 2 points3 points 6 months ago[-]

Mmmmm

Spacksack 6 points7 points 6 months ago[-]

A safeword is important for serious BDSM, but a little raping with us came naturally.

Toiletstore 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

I can only assume that's the most interesting sentence I'll read all afternoon.

dunmalg 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

What is scary is when you get off really fast when she fights back

Things make mare sense if you examine them in the light of a prehistoric society. Looking at it evolutionarily, rape is actually a valid (though marginal) reproductive strategy, i.e. it wouldn't be selected against. The "ability" to... ahem... finish business quickly would also be a positive trait for this evolutionary strategy, given the potentially fatal result of getting caught in the act by male relatives.

nolimitsoldier 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Oh believe me, I understand it. Just get that really weird "oh shit rape turns me on" feeling. hahaha.

meh-aidez 39 points40 points 6 months ago[-]

It's not rape in the "random stranger rapes me in a parking lot."

It's "So fucking turned on by me that he has to take me, right then and there."

JimmyJamesMac 6 points7 points 6 months ago[-]

Exactly.

karmagedon 128 points129 points 6 months ago[-]

Stand in front of her, pull down your pants, and bend over.

pdfpdx 2 points3 points 6 months ago[-]

i think if your bending over in front of her and removing your own pants, that would be consensual, would it not?

vikhound 5 points6 points 6 months ago[-]

what if he wore a prison jump suit

[deleted] 45 points46 points 6 months ago[-]

First: talk.

[deleted] 51 points52 points 6 months ago[-]

Also: make sure there is a safe word.

P.S. make sure there is a safe word.

rileydiefenbach 42 points43 points 6 months ago[-]

Make sure the safe word isn't "more" or "harder".

usernameunavailable 36 points37 points 6 months ago[-]

or "stop"

vanuhitman 20 points21 points 6 months ago[-]

I would recommend "platypus" or "Oklahoma."

rageagainsttheapes 15 points16 points 6 months ago[-]

I find "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis" works best.

sandmanx 20 points21 points 6 months ago[-]

'Shia LaBeouf'.

karakoram 13 points14 points 6 months ago[-]

Man, if that doesn't kill your boner...
They should really teach "LaBeoufing" as a self-defense technique.

domelife 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Shia makes my wiener sad.

insertfunnynamehere 2 points3 points 6 months ago[-]

No! No, no, no no no no no!

dunmalg 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Heh. Have you ever tried to say Oklahoma through a ball gag?

vanuhitman 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

If there's a ball gag being used, there ain't gonna be much that can be said besides "UmuhUhhurr ueurer."

Charlie24601 3 points4 points 6 months ago[-]

[deleted] 13 points14 points 6 months ago[-]

glukenkamshahaylen?

silverlionlb 10 points11 points 6 months ago[-]

BRING OUT THE GLUKENKAMSHAHAYLEN!

[deleted] 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

No, I meant Glukankamshismen! GLUKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

scriptsvcs 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

I loved his movie where everything red had something to do with someone that was already dead.

animalcrackers1 26 points27 points 6 months ago[-]

It's a very common fantasy. You'd be surprised how many women have it. Here is a tip, blindfold her when you try it. You won't feel so self conscious

beandope 54 points55 points 6 months ago[-]

  1. Hide behind the door.
  2. ???
  3. Rape.

pixelnoir 21 points22 points 6 months ago[-]

4 . Profit!

[deleted] 8 points9 points 6 months ago[-]

5 . Repeat.

QuantumBreakfast 12 points13 points 6 months ago[-]

what the hell is going on here

TheEllimist 4 points5 points 6 months ago[-]

Quantum formatting. You thought you were numbering correctly when in fact you had no idea what numbers you were writing and the waveform collapsed to just ones.

Renovatio_ 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

6 . You get maced.

Kittycide -2 points-1 points 6 months ago[-]

6 . Porno!.

gabe2011 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

SIR-PR-EYEZ BUTTSECKZ!

Reddit_Rapist 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

This really is the best way.

charlesgrodinfan 59 points60 points 6 months ago* [-]

read some Savage Love, or podcast by Dan Savage, a sex columnist. He's got better advice than these idiots. I'm guessing he'll say something along the lines of

  • find a way to satisfy her kinks that guarantees you have her consent and you don't feel like a rapist, like trying some dom type activities (ala pinning her hands) and escalate from there.
  • make sure there are clear channels of communication. As you get more comfortable talking about each of your sexual turn ons/offs, it may get easier to accept some of the things she wants to do. Plus you get the benefit of your fantasies/kinks acted on (if she doesn't reciprocate dump her ass).

kudos for thinking about it. people have fantasies that partners aren't always super gung ho about, but that's what makes relationships last - compromise and communication.

And an edit: ask around in BDSMCommunity

Another edit: All these "use a safe word" comments are idiotic at best, and dangerous at worst. That's the most basic, noobish type of suggestion for kinky shit. It's like handing the keys to a ferrari to a 14 year old and saying "just press the brakes if you need to stop". Like most things, some education is important if not vital for success. Read up, talk about it and you'll be fine.

seasmucker 2 points3 points 6 months ago[-]

Ah, beat me to the punch with Dan Savage. I wonder how many kinks have been realized thanks to that man.

charlesgrodinfan 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

I love the callers/writers (usually women) who ask how to fulfill their partners' (usually guys') pie-in-the-face fantasies. I remember once he suggested one of them get a part time job at a dog groomers so they'd have access to a full room that can be hosed down once the session is over.

SmashThSilence 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Ah I was also going to post about Dan Savage.

Pretty much the only thing my play partner and I have in common (besides our kinks) is Dan. And thank god. He was a virgin before I met him but had been listening to the SavageLoveCast and reading the Slog for a long time, so when he met me he was 100% GGG and ready to go! Dan Savage is my hero. He's helped me realize and accept a lot of my own kinks and to be a lot more sex-positive.

opportuneport 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

scratches head

Yes, communication before, during, and after is key. And a safe word is only one piece of that. But given that almost 24 hours after the original question, the OP still seems confused about how he can tell if his girlfriend is consenting during any particular kinky act, I think that explaining the importance of a safe word is a good starting place.

charlesgrodinfan 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

He's a twat if he can't start doing the research and learn that a rape fantasy is just that - it's a fantasy and probably some kind of a manifestation of a desire to be controlled during sex. It's pretty naive to think asking here, in AskReddit, will give him the most qualified answers. And that's why I'm telling the 'use a safe word' jerkoffs to shut up.

I agree that safe words may be useful, but I'm bashing them because it's the only thing most people probably know about this type of activity. People just want to reply or be silly but can't hardly offer any real advice. That's why I'd rather point him in the right direction to learn about it, hell I'm not even qualified to offer advice. But could you imagine the scenario that would play out if he reluctantly acted on her rape fantasy only armed with "use a safe word"? Neither of them sound experienced enough to go through with it in a responsible manner.

what5987 17 points18 points 6 months ago[-]

Well you obviously start by holding her down.

uebr 22 points23 points 6 months ago[-]

Hopefully you remembered to get an erection. If not, you'll have to improvise.

BlunderLikeARicochet 5 points6 points 6 months ago[-]

The smooth end of a phillips head works well.

turlian 2 points3 points 6 months ago[-]

Remembered an erection - awesome.

Let's see, car keys... wallet... cell phone... Shit! I forgot my erection!

corbalt 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

Don't forget to take your clothes off, and hers.

[deleted] 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

::jots in notebook:: Get erected. Gotcha!

rboe 16 points17 points 6 months ago[-]

When looking for advice, I find that Louis CK always has the best answers: http://vodpod.com/watch/2295087-louis-ck-waitress-rape

huereddit 3 points4 points 6 months ago[-]

Hilarious bit! Thanks for this.

goesgoodwithgum 25 points26 points 6 months ago[-]

I heard an awful story about a man whose wife had the Rape Fantasy. He waited for her to come home, jumped out of a closet with a mask on and raped her. Then proceeded to taking off the mask and saying, "Haha! Its only me!"

Their marriage soon ended. She didn't charge him with rape or anything, she just couldn't look at him without reliving the terror.

So yeah. You might not wanna all out rape your girlfriend. Be sure she knows its actually you before going for it.

Oh, and I recommend Danny Devito as a safe word. Also mortuary.

seasmucker 9 points10 points 6 months ago[-]

That's the paradox of rape fantasies. The fantasy is about being raped while in total control, it doesn't mean she actually wanted to be terrorized. Poor guy, he should've asked Dan Savage first.

Humpa 3 points4 points 6 months ago[-]

Honestly though, poor guy, but an idiot he was.

IWillKickU 14 points15 points 6 months ago[-]

If you're uncomfortable, I'll do it for you.

SmashThSilence 3 points4 points 6 months ago[-]

If she's not available, I can sub in for her.

IWillKickU 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

Since I can't violently penetrate you through cyberspace, have an orangered instead.

SmashThSilence 3 points4 points 6 months ago[-]

Thank you sir. May I have another?

IWillKickU 2 points3 points 6 months ago[-]

Indeed.

SmashThSilence 3 points4 points 6 months ago[-]

Ooooo that's it! Don't stop!

Reddit_Rapist 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

I call dibs.

nerdofnerds 11 points12 points 6 months ago[-]

IT'S A TRAP!

clevelandrox 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

Listen to Admiral Ackbar. A wise man....er, fish thing. Whatever.

Dorama1987 5 points6 points 6 months ago[-]

I've yet to be with a girl who didn't enjoy some form of domination. I think it's a part of our gender roles that is taboo in polite society. Think of it as a release of social tension and suddenly all kink becomes easy and understandable.

shortname111 18 points19 points 6 months ago[-]

start by surprising her. if she says no, keep going.

betelgeux 14 points15 points 6 months ago[-]

You know, you don't HAVE to do this. She'd likely be upset that you felt obligated to do something that made you this uncomfortable.

Tell her how you feel about this.

I personally can't do the play-rapist game. I'm not a rapist and I find the idea of forcing myself on a woman abhorrent.

HughHoney 2 points3 points 6 months ago* [-]

Maybe you should try forcing yourself on a man?

thedarkhaze 6 points7 points 6 months ago* [-]

The first thing I should mention is that rape fantasies are pretty common so you shouldn't be worried about that. However as AmortalGnarl says you should definitely talk about it and how to approach it. One of the key things is obviously since it's a rape scenario you'll need to discuss secret words for her to use if she really wants it to stop instead of just playing along with the scenario.

In general you can google rape fantasies and see how other people have approached it.

suddenlyseemore 4 points5 points 6 months ago* [-]

I've dated serveral girls who've admitted to having an embarrassing fantasy of wanting to be raped and completely taken over. I just tried to add it to the sex by starting off romantic and kissing, and then being rough. One girl would cum when I smacked her face. Then this other totality reacted like I was raping her in a bad way when I told her to shut up. Which another liked, and this one said she liked it rough. They're all crazy bro. And these were well balanced, professional ladies, not an easy picture in your mind of instability.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnXtGINeDK0

sdbear 4 points5 points 6 months ago[-]

A great many women have rape fantasies. This does not mean that they wished to be raped. A rape fantasy is sexy, but a real rape is about as sexy as road kill.

Birdrun 5 points6 points 6 months ago[-]

Use a safe word. Pick a word which makes no sense in the context of the act, like 'banana' or 'triangle' or some such, and if she says that, you stop what you're doing and back off.

Other than that, proceed carefully. Ease into it, and get a little more agressive each time. This should help you "find" the boundaries without going way too far, and should make it a lot more comfortable for both of you.

Be careful about your own limits too. If you're not comfortable with something, say so. Don't just go along with it.

wowlolcat 9 points10 points 6 months ago[-]

girl: TRIANGLE!

guy: Which angle? How bout this!

girl: aww gawd please stoooop! you're hurting me!

guy: yeah you like that don't ya, you love it!

girl: TRIANGLE TRIANGLE TRIANGLE!

guy: but we just got into this position...

Birdrun 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Girl: TRIANGLE!

Guy: *pulls out triangle, plays a few notes. Ding ding ding!*

Girl: -.- *Facepalm*

Realtime_Ruga 3 points4 points 6 months ago[-]

Make sure no bananas or triangles are involved first.

iowan 4 points5 points 6 months ago[-]

It's good that you're confused. Have an open discussion with her. This is a garden variety fantasy as they go, so just keep an open mind. A safe word goes without saying. Have her articulate exactly what she wants and be ggg for your partner and hopefully she'll return the favor.

gingeraptor 4 points5 points 6 months ago* [-]

One of the strongest turn ons in pinning her hands down whole you kiss her strongly while taking her clothes off. Pick her up and throw her/ push her onto the bed ot against a wall. I'm def not into the rape fantasy. But the above is soo awesome.

holdErSteady2 2 points3 points 6 months ago* [-]

Read this article in Slate. It's a level-headed, respectful, scientific inquiry (by a woman researcher) into why this fantasy is so compelling for so many women. In short (and REALLY oversimplifying it; do read the article), the fantasy is about being so alluring to the man that he will defy social norms, crater his own ethics, endanger his own wellbeing and freedom, all to have her.

It also points out rather saliently, right off, that literally "wanting" to be "raped" is a tautological impossibility. (You can't want to have done to you something that you don't want done to you.) That's the nature of fantasy, to pretend.

To your original question of "where to start" - first (and I'll make some assumptions here), enjoy being bigger and stronger than her. The difference in our physiques is so key to why men and women attract each other anyway - whether men are watching a woman cross her legs, or women watch the play of arm muscles as a guy lifts heavy crap. So much of the allurement is in the differences. Making love (and I'm only qualified to talk about two-gender love-making) is about (excuse this) "plunging into" those differences. Rollicking in the physical differences. So I can imagine that for women, being overpowered by a man in bed is part of that. At an atavistic level, it must go something like this: "Man Is Stronger." So being overpowered must be like having that allurement writ large, pronounced aloud, made concrete and dynamic in the room. Rather than being a subtlety, Maleness is profoundly present then. And by immediate contrast, her Femaleness is as profoundly present.

(As if I know what I'm talking about! Ladies - downvote this to Hades if it deserves it.)

We're layered folks. We're humans who deserve dignity, we're mammals who reproduce sexually, and we each come with our own psychological contours. If you and your girlfriend otherwise admire and love and trust each other, than talk with her about this. All other things being healthy and non-psycho, this might be an avenue of tremendous fun and intimacy for you both.

But the article is worthwhile, even if my musings are dreck.

opportuneport 2 points3 points 6 months ago[-]

First: Safe Word and talking about what you both like and don't like.

Second: DO NOT START WITH THIS FANTASY. Start with some other kinky power play fantasy. Spanking, blind folding, handcuffs, rope, something else she and you are up for that deals with you having more control than she does that she can stop with the safe word you've talked about.

While plenty of women do have fantasies that end up being called "rape fantasies", making it good for her will be contingent on finding out exactly why it is a turn on for her. Loss of control? Not knowing when it will happen? Actual fear? Or is it just sex that's a bit rougher than the sex you're currently having? If it's just rough sex, she's going to be quite out of sorts if you blindfold and gag her the moment she gets home, drive her to an abandoned parking lot, and fuck her in the car. on the other hand, that may be exactly what she wants.

EddieVanHelsing 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

Just because she has a fantasy doesn't mean she wants to make it a reality. Talk to her.

mastertwisted 2 points3 points 6 months ago* [-]

Okay, this is something I'm actually qualified to address. First, there are a lot of resources out there for what is known as power exchange. This doesn't necessarily have to involve serious BDSM, but it might. You might consider picking up a book like Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns, which is a very basic look at S&M. There are also online resources available.

Open your mind, and understand that if this is something she wants, it's not something wrong with her. It can actually be fun for both of you if you approach it with the sense of pleasing your girlfriend.

Next, understand that if you DO follow up, and there is any bondage involved, whether you use rope or whatever, there are safety issues. Please do read up on basic knots and techniques. You don't have to be a master, but you should know if the knot you use will tighten under load (i.e., if she is tied and she struggles, will the rope get tighter?)

Sex is not just physical - it's mental too. You probably already know this. And if for whatever reason you are not cool with this fantasy, talk about it with her. In fact, that should really be the starting point. Learn what she wants and needs, explore together, and best of luck to you.

EDIT: responded before reading all the comments. I think you can look at the points and pretty much tell who is giving good advice and who has no clue. Rape fantasies are not "Surprise! Buttsecks!", they are complex ways of her surrendering power to someone she trusts - you. So yeah, start slow, talk about it, and have an open mind. Maybe she just wants to be restrained, maybe she wants the full roleplayed treatment.

SirRonaldofBurgundy 3 points4 points 6 months ago* [-]

Sneak up on her, shoot her in the neck with about five ounces of industrial horse tranquilizer, then have your way with her while she's drooling on the kitchen tiles. Then when she wakes up, tell her you fulfilled her rape fantasy. Then she'll always have a mental image of you doing whatever she wanted you to do, and that mental image will always be more satisfying that any real roleplaying or whatever that you two could actually do.

pillage 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

First you have to create the universe.

Fetttson 4 points5 points 6 months ago[-]

That's apple pie, silly!

CallMemaJiC 2 points3 points 6 months ago* [-]

Rape fantasy's are the best. Me and at least 3 of my ex's loved doing this. Just hold her down and you get to do anything you want to her. Tie her up if she likes that. Or just hold her down and pound the fuck outta her. Then shove your dick down her throat and face fuck her. Damn, I loved that shit. But also though, lick her pussy n stuff too. Pay attention to her needs also. You'll be amazed at how hot it is.

raubry 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Tie her up, but I'd suggest moving slowly on that option. Even long-term BDSM partners tend to move there with caution. Someone who actually has never been tied up before can hit the panic level quickly once that happens. Make sure you start with loose knots to begin with, and work your way up (read up on this, and have quick-release rope scissors handy)(a.k.a. paramedic scissors). Rope can be real fun - there are hundreds of ways to tie up someone, from the subtle one-loop-around-the-wrist-to-a-chair to the full-out mummified look.

feralgrinn 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

Just dominate her like she wants...

kegbol 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

Almost every woman has a rape fantasy, and it is almost certainly because you're not into it at all that she feels comfortable enough to do it with you. It freaked the shit out of me first time. Hell… It freaked the shit out of me every time, but it's not that strange.

Ella404 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

I agree with charlesgrodinfan- Dan Savage is the way to go. And talk, talk, talk- about what she finds hot about this fantasy, about what exactly she wants you to do to her, about any and all concerns you have about this, and about what safeword you're going to use. If you use a gag, make sure she has some other way of letting you know if she wants to stop.

mooenz 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

As many people have pointed out, obviously talking and communicating are going to be huge for this fantasy. Specifically, you need to talk about exactly what is and is not OK: Holding her down? Hitting? Choking? Ask her what she would and would not be comfortable with. I'm a female who has this fantasy, but when I did it with a previous boyfriend, we didn't talk it through enough, and we both ended up unhappy as a result.

Another good tip is to start small. If you're uncomfortable with jumping in (and it sounds like you might be) don't force intercourse - start with other, smaller sex acts, or role play a date rape scenario.

And, obviously a safe word is key.

kenvsryu 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

you gonna get raped? she's gonna strap one on.

16777216 -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

I read that in Stewie's voice,.. it was awesome.

OrthogonalThoughts 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

with GUSTO!

[deleted] 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Fuck this shit, I'm doing it I'm pulling down my pants.

WallaceFard 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

Just sit back and leave it to me.

Redmoons -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

1) Settle on a safeword.

2) Pretend to be a caveman.

cefriano 3 points4 points 6 months ago[-]

Start with some chloroform.

[deleted] 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE FOR ANAL GO FOR IT!!

IWillKickU 7 points8 points 6 months ago[-]

Don't play anal rape. Anal needs to be slow and well lubricated for it to be fun for her.

Sliperyfish 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

My ex girlfriend disagrees.

mastertwisted 3 points4 points 6 months ago[-]

May be why the "ex-' part is there.

G_Morgan 2 points3 points 6 months ago[-]

Real dolls do not count as girlfriends.

IWillKickU 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

Then your ex girlfriend's anus was already well stretched by the time you got there.

SmashThSilence 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Haha s'rsly.

epicrdr 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Sit her down and tell her you would like to talk to her about her rape fantasy. Explain how it makes you uncomfortable and just not something you are willing to do. When she finally gives you the sign that she understands and respects your position, throw her down and rape the shit out of her. She will never see it coming.

[deleted] 6 months ago[-]

[deleted]

[deleted] -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

Dude, either you trust each other or you don't. It's not like a "signed rape agreement" is going to hold up in court if she testifies against you.

If you can cite caselaw to the contrary, I'd love to see it.

plan17b 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

I'm sorry, but you will have to sign an NDA before I can release any findings that I may or may not have.

[deleted] 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Case law is public, no NDAs required.

plan17b 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Of course, you will have to sign a release, to get a copy of the NDA.

[deleted] 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

You are crazy, but I hope you're having a fantastic weekend!

pixelnoir -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

The rape fantasy is a big gamble. She'll either realize what's going on and enjoy living out her fantasy or she won't realize what's going to and you'll get "What the fuck are you doing?!"

[deleted] -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

It's not really much of a gamble, since she will always know who is doing the "raping".

pixelnoir 0 points1 point 6 months ago* [-]

Yeah but if he just jumped on top of her and she didn't realize what was going on and he just forces her down and starts ripping clothes off she's going to be a little confused and probably not very happy.

[deleted] 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

forces her down and starts ripping clothes off

I get your point, but isn't this is exactly what she wants? It's best to pre arrange a scenario, but if this is her fantasy, it's unlikely she isn't going to enjoy it as long as he does it properly. She will know it's not real, the clue is in the word fantasy

pixelnoir -2 points-1 points 6 months ago[-]

It's best to pre arrange a scenario

That would kinda defeat the point the the rape fantasy, rape isn't prearranged.

Imagine jumping on top of a girl when she's not expecting it nor in the mood. She's going to be a little startled.

[deleted] 1 point2 points 6 months ago* [-]

That would kinda defeat the point the the rape fantasy, rape isn't prearranged.

You obviously don't know a great deal about this kind of thing.

Edit, please don't take me the wrong way, i'm not trying to be derogatory towards you.

pixelnoir 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

I've done the rape fantasy before, a few times. We've never prearranged it, and it did go bad once. Well not bad but I did get the "What the fuck are you doing?!" I mentioned earlier.

[deleted] 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Fair enough, agreeing that you are going to do something doesn't remove the fantasy element of course.

pixelnoir 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Yeah but when you're doing rape it's always better to make it a surprise. It just requires more planning (on the 'rapists' part) than most fantasies. I personally don't like the rape fantasy anyway. I'm more of a student and teacher kinda guy.

[deleted] 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Corporal punishment FTW!!

youngturk -3 points-2 points 6 months ago[-]

dress up in a black hoodie and get a knife and jump her right after she leaves her work

ekki -2 points-1 points 6 months ago[-]

Just a word of advice

In 1-3 months after the sex fantasy, I want to point out that she can go to the police and show the bruises and rope marks and what not, and say you raped her.

SmashThSilence 3 points4 points 6 months ago[-]

Hopefully the bruises and rope marks don't stay for 1-3 months...

iorgfeflkd -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

Give her a safe word.

Then jump her a few days later.

[deleted] -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

Very common fantasy, of course, if you let her have her fantasy, that means she has to do yours.

octagonatron -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

I can't believe it but, the answer is rape.

SmashThSilence -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

TIE HER UP. And all these kids telling you to use a safe word probably have never done this kind of sex before. It might be a good idea, but it's certainly not the most important part. If you know your girlfriend well enough, you will be able to tell when her "NO. STOP." is genuine.

Seriously though. Tie her up with a couple of ties. Use a scarf to blindfold her.

Here's a fun one: She's on her back. You sit on her so your cock is in her mouth and your knees are on her arms. Awesome.

matthank -3 points-2 points 6 months ago[-]

Do it at a time when she'd never expect it to be you, in a different part of town. Have an alibi.

Afterward, swear it was not you.

Or, hire a guy.

mmdragon -3 points-2 points 6 months ago[-]

You've never raped somebody before? PROTIP: If you don't prepare, it'll end in like 2 seconds. The clench is a killer.

rogerssucks -4 points-3 points 6 months ago[-]

Rape her.

SmoothieKing -2 points-1 points 6 months ago[-]

FUCKING RAPE HER FAGGOT dont read the gay advice to "talk" RAPE HER

zombiecyborghitler -3 points-2 points 6 months ago[-]

DONT PUT YOUR DICK IN THE CRAZY

RomanSenate 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

It's quite common for women to have rape fantasies. This doesn't mean they actually want to be violently raped by a stranger, it's nothing to worry about. Just ask her what she wants you to do.

[deleted] 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

ask her what she wants you to do.

The worst possible thing you can do with a girl in bed, even without the rape fantasy.

Ask Reddit is such an amusing trainwreck when it comes to sex questions.

RomanSenate 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Are you joking me? Women don't like guys to just fumble around blankly in bed, if the two participants are in any way mature then there should be no problem sharing with one another what they enjoy.

wildmXranat 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

I would start by getting rougher but still delicate as you never know her comfort limits. Don't go full out mr. Rape on her . This is very important. Trust and synchronization in expectations need to present. If at any time , you cross the line, you can say bye to doing trying next time.

I'm going go out on a limb and say that most of us here don't know what to tell you . Look somewhere else and preferrably from a known author with a good track record.

tehra 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

The OP didn't mention who was getting raped in this fantasy. Perhaps she wants to see him raped by some big bad men.

boli99 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Just start when she least expects it.

[deleted] 6 months ago[-]

[deleted]

Feeq2 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

If that doesn't work, just break out the sand paper gloves and ask her WHERE she wants it to hurt...

Ictinike 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Some fantasy's should stay that way.

parabology 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

She wants to feel so hot that you couldn't help yourself. So next time she's being a bit flirty or puts on something sexy, give her a look and then just go at her, rip off her clothes, hold her down or hold her hands back or something. The first time need not be more complicated than that I don't think.

Kancho_Ninja 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

but since it's something she wants I'll do it. Where the hell do I start?

You can start by giving me a call. I'll pick up your house key when you leave for work in the morning.

greenplasticman2002 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

A good place to start is simply holding her arms down during sex at the wrist. Work your way up to the full on rape fantasy.

strolls 0 points1 point 1 month ago[-]

Hi there, I was searching for an unrelated story, and this post came up as a top hit. Any chance of an update? How did it work out for you? Want to do an AMA on this subject?

[deleted] -2 points-1 points 6 months ago[-]

Tie her up, cover her eye's and gag her. Go out for some fast food and leave her there. Come back and have your way with her, but don't give her any indicate who it is, and make sure it's a bit rough.

That should be a good start, and a middle ground if your not a rapist.

mastertwisted 2 points3 points 6 months ago[-]

DO NOT ever leave someone alone if they are bound. If you don't do it right, you could cut off circulation, or even worse, tie them in such a way that they can't properly breathe.

See my main post. I know you were probably trying to be humorous, but bondage is serious business if you don't know what you are doing.

butch123 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Tie her up, cover her eyes and gag her. Then take her with you to get chinese food. come back and have your way with her. Only speak Chinese while you are doing it.

SmashThSilence 0 points1 point 6 months ago[-]

Oh fuck yes do this. I love that idea- being tied up and left there. One time I had a blanket over my head and it was super intense. It felt like I was in a sensory deprivation room.

Sub_NerdBoy -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

if it confuses and scares you don't do it. a gf i had when i was a teen asked me to do this for her and i wouldn't because it confused the hell out of me, like why does my gf want to get raped??? do i need to worry about if she does get raped that she'll enjoy it more than me??* etc. not to mention the idea of actually trying to roleplay a position of raping someone you love is just not on my table of things to do before i die.

Nastybutler -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

Don't let this happen.

Draiko -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

There's an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force I think you should watch... It's called "Hand Banana".

SuperBoris -4 points-3 points 6 months ago[-]

Don't talk to her about it, just do it. Wait until she comes in from work and surprise her? Just don't leave any blunt objects around just in case.

lolerside 1 point2 points 6 months ago[-]

Uh, I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic but either way I would advise against doing this. They need to have a talk about this. It can't just happen or she may end up feeling violated and he'd be in big trouble.

Whitey4Obama -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

Define: rape

I am positive that it does not include "Casually discuss all of the things we will pretend to do" anywhere in the definition.

mechanate -5 points-4 points 6 months ago[-]

Chances are she's a sub. Start out by just randomly throwing her up against a wall or something and go from there.

SirOblivious -4 points-3 points 6 months ago[-]

I would not go through with it, what if she decides she doesn't like it and asks you to stop and you think its part of the act? Or , what if later she changes her mind and says you raped her? Not worth it, its an extreme liability.

Get her to focus on something else

cameronoremac 6 points7 points 6 months ago[-]

That's what safe words are for.

sexlexia 2 points3 points 6 months ago[-]

This is the reason safe words exist.

Like banana.

SirOblivious -1 points0 points 6 months ago[-]

But still, she could easily not say the safe word and later claim rape

sexlexia 6 points7 points 6 months ago[-]

Any girl could claim rape even if it's not a rape fantasy (if she's a huge bitch.) May as well just stay out of a vagina forever, if that's what you're worried about.