Women of reddit: What are some signs that you give to signal your interest in a guy? What are some signs that you're just being friendly?

alterune · 2 years

I ask the guy out.

Screw the conventional attitudes about guys (guys ask the girl out, guys pay for EVERYTHING, etc.). If we're wearing pants and having sex before marriage why don't we throw away those attitudes as well?

pax_mentis · 2 years

If I know him well enough to talk one on one and hang out on our own (and he's available), I will just tell him.. but I might be more forward than most girls? haha

CaptO · 2 years

bro, just ask her out or something. The worse she will say is something like "I have a boyfriend" or "no thanks" or "you're really drunk and think you peed yourself again"

Sommiel · 2 years

If I told you, I would have to kill you.

Seriously, not all women are the same. There is no guide for this sort of thing, what works for one will get you pepper sprayed by the next one.

HellSD · 2 years

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ElectricFluid · 2 years

Well I'm no woman but this should help... http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html

A_for_Anonymous · 2 years

Oh man. I am the kind of girl that guys may hate because I never outright say "I like you" but will always be friendly, hang out one on one, and keep in contact. You will know if I like you if you touch me and I don't cringe but even then...you'll know if i like you if I put my head on your shoulders. Or talk about other guys with you? I suck at boys. I'm just as confused as the rest of you.

anonymgrl · 2 years

I am a bit of a flirt, mostly because I really like men and find them all interesting and desirable on some level. The one thing I do, when I am especially attracted and interested, is sneak glances at their mouth because I can't help but think of kissing them. If you do that with a girl you think might be interested in you (glance at her lips) and she does the same back, you can feel pretty confident that she feels some attraction.

That's all I got. :) Good luck.

Sweetdee3 · 2 years

I usually just get drunk and cling to them all evening. If I am not sitting next to them I will be super loud and obnoxious so as to be sure that they can at least hear me.

SamFuckingNeill · 2 years

don't underestimate the power of the friend zone

obsessive_cook · 2 years

Back in high school I was a pretty shy girl. I had a crush on a guy for about two years before I finally told him. He'd sit behind me in English and ask if I wanted his leftover fruit from lunch. I loved doodling, so if it was a banana or orange, I'd draw on it.

One day instead of drawing, I wrote him a note, telling him I liked him, and gave it to him after class. I told him I liked him via banana.

I say if girls aren't handing you doodles and love notes on fruit, don't bother.

modernette · 2 years

touching.

MamaMass · 2 years

I'd like to take this opportunity to ask the women of reddit one quick question. What's the deal with you putting your leg over mine when we're sitting on a couch? This has happened a couple of times and confused me to no end! We're just sitting there watching a movie with a few friends and out of nowhere your right leg ends up on top of my left leg. What the hell do I do with that?

Bo-jangle · 2 years

I'm too shy to ask guys out, so I try to engineer situations in which they will make a move on me.

For example, I really wanted to sleep with this hot guy at uni. I had recently broken up with my boyfriend and ran into him at some event. We got talking and he lived near my dad (where I often stayed after a drunken night in the city as he lived close), so he ended up offering me a lift after I kind of hinted a lift would be handy. On the drive I managed to lead the conversation towards my ex and he asked how he was so I told him we'd broken up. The next words out of his mouth were 'so your place or mine?' (still the best pickup line I've heard) and I said 'yours' then we went back to his place and fucked all night.

My partner these days ended up inviting me to the movies after meeting me through a mutual friend and we went back to his place after and I said I was too tired to drive home after we'd been talking for ages (lame lame excuse I know) so he offered that I could stay at his and then there was only one bed so yea... It took a while that night but he eventually realised I was interested and made a move (he said he didn't know if I was being friendly or not ^{^).}

So anyway, if a friend is trying to get you in a situation where you are alone with her, especially at night and either at your house or hers, it's probably a good sign.

Though honestly, stuff like this isn't set in stone and some women don't work like this, other women like to lead you on for just the hell of it and some you have to be quite direct with, etc. It's like how everyone says guys like a chase. I'm easy as can be, and I've had no trouble attracting guys even though I'm pretty slutty.

When I 'friendzone' someone I'm a lot more friendly to them, physical contact is easier, than other guys as I'm not worried about them finding out I like them and them not reciprocating. Guys I have the hots for, I tend to be more reserved and shy around, but again that will vary significantly between women. Sorry I can't be more specific about 'rules to follow'.

For strangers, just ask them out, don't beat around the bush as the worst that will happen is that they will say no and laugh at you. Which in the scheme of things is not too bad.

selectrix · 2 years

Since I'm not a woman (despite recent photo thread evidence to the contrary), I'm not sure how much insight I can offer, so any females reading this feel free to confirm or deny what I have to say.

In terms of cues (which I believe is what you're looking for), the most reliable one I've found is if she's looking at you often. If she briefly holds eye contact and smiles, then
a) you're set,
b)she's probably fairly cool, if she's willing to be open like that. If not, she's probably just shy, and
c) smile back, for goodness sake! (if interested)

If she considers you a friend, it's highly unlikely she'd steal glances at you as often as possible. Unless you have really odd facial features or something else visibly awry about you.

psilocyber · 2 years

If I'm not interested in a guy, I won't make any effort to contact him in between any social events we both attend. I'll be friendly and maybe flirty when we happen to see each other, but that's it.

If I am romantically interested, I'll take the time to text or IM him every once in a while to see if he wants to hang out. Basically, giving him more attention than necessary.

tactics · 2 years

What does it matter if she likes you or not.

Reframe.

Do you like her? If so, go for it.

Lesson: Don't make what you think she thinks more important than what you think.

my_life_is_awesome · 2 years

Me: Would you like to go out with me on a date?

You: Yes or No.

I mean, would you like it hand-written on a note with check-boxes and hearts? 'Cause I can do that too.

WomanWithQuestions · 2 years

Just be yourself. I always hung out with a guy in a no-pressure, we're just friends kinda way first before moving on to dating, etc. I was never sure if it had the potential to go beyond friends until we had been friends for a bit.

Once I figured that out, he didn't need the Rosetta stone to figure it out, kwim. I wasn't into playing games.

cheeeky · 2 years

Im kind of a naturally flirtatious girl..so sometimes I send off the wrong signals. So to show a guy I'm NOT interested, I will talk to him about other guys. That's my "we're only friends" signal. If I touch you while being flirty... that's my.."I want you" signal. =) See...easy. =)

rwitt · 2 years

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DunnoSource · 2 years

If I'm just being friendly, I mention a boyfriend, even if I don't have one.

If I'm interested, I play up the eye contact, I've been told I actually bat my eyelashes - good lord, and I WILL invite you to do something/hang out in a casual way...that way if you're not interested, it's not all awkward and embarrassing. Also, if I can tell a guy is interested in me and flirting and I'm also interested, I get really flustered and giggly.

redditmoose · 2 years

The General's General Rule:

Girls have needs. Like food, these needs don't go away. If she isn't clearly smitten with someone else, she's likely available. Some are a bit masochistic, but generally when they know you have food they come around when they're hungry.

[deleted] · 2 years

I never understood this "women are mysterious creatures" schtick that some guys hide behind and some women propagate.

Women are not mysterious creatures. They want the same basic things that we do and they more or less go about getting them, just like us guys. When they want sex, they have sex--same as guys.

Just buck up and quit looking at women like they are some sort of enigma. They are wonderful, equal creatures that make life great.

NITSIRK · 2 years

Look for signs of nervousness but not checking door - checking friends is fine but can go either way as in help or stay away! licking lips or lingering over drink is good, but flicking hair is usually just habit.

Do not get too nervous yourself, before I settled down I was notorious for jabbering away to some poor techy bloke who couldn't believe they'd found a female blond curvy big eyed geek. It was the red bull, and I would suddenly decide they weren't holding up their end of the conversation and wander off!

Good luck, and feel free to ask more questions!

[deleted] · 2 years

When a women laughs at your bad jokes, leans forwards and looks into your eyes intently, is when you know. Also when they lightly touch you on the arm and fiddle with their hair.

[deleted] · 2 years

I was out with a good friend of mine named Mandy the other night. One of my other friends was trying to talk to some girls at another table, but was a bit nervous, this is bascically what she said to him:

"Blhack's friend, go up to those girls and ask them for their number and if they want to hang out some time. if they reject you, it's their bad and it means that they're stupid cunts. Why would you care if three stupid cunts don't want to talk to you? Just go ask them, if they reject you it means they're lame anyway."

Best. Advice. Ever.

ablegreen · 2 years

Just wondering- is copying and the occasional smile a sign of flirtation?

A_for_Anonymous · 2 years

Evolution spent a long time creating you sir. If you get the vaguest idea a girl likes you its prolly right. If you don't get that idea its usually for a reason. Instinct is rarely wrong. That being said, a cue I have noticed as consistent over many years is this following: In casual conversation you might notice a slight pause in her conversation or while shes listening to you speak - she will get a bit "googley eyed" and look at you intently. Do your best not to notice or call attention to this. This is the part where shes most likely thinking "Yeah.. I think its on".

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